AN: I've been struggling to write for a while now, and the briefest idea jumped into my head, and I decided to peruse it. This it the results, I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Doctor Who
For What is Lost
The Doctor turned towards the TARDIS doors unsure if he this was really something he wanted to do. Would if offer him pleasure or only pain? He felt sure it would be the latter, but to see her smile through his eyes just one more time would be worth all the pain in the world.
Glancing back at the controls the Doctor drew a strong breath and walked down the ramp his hand reaching for the door. It opened, his guiding hand barely touching the wooden surface. Light spilled into the TARDIS burning increasingly brighter. He was going to burn it out. This was his last chance to see into the alternate universe to see himself with Rose, living a 'domestic' life. It had been a long debate for him, whether to try this or not.
To his surprise Heart had won over Mind, and here he stood. The TARDIS drew power from the star, and the Doctor could feel the rift. Its presence was faint fading within the deep recesses of his mind. The Doctor took hold of it, reaching in for what lay on the other side. He couldn't project himself, but thankfully he didn't have to call for her. Almost immediately after making contact, the Doctor could feel himself a strong force in this alternate world.
He was overwhelmed immediately, images and emotions flashing through him in forms akin to lightning strikes. The Doctor had seen his life as a human once, drinking in all the possibilities, as he watched himself live, love and eventually die; the woman John Smith loved waiting at his side. The Doctor couldn't stop himself from wanting to see how it could have been, the life he was denied while he lived it all the same.
He saw himself holding Rose tightly in his arms, laughter escaping them both, and the Doctor thought he could feel his Rose in his embrace. The Doctor watched as his baby boy cried out into the night, he stood mesmerized by the glow that surrounded Rose as she held their child in her arm. She looked perfect, beautiful and more content that he'd ever remembered seeing him. For a moment domestic didn't look so bad.
The doctor stood and watched as he took control of a tight situation, not even hesitating. He knew more than any of them, there was never a doubt that he was right in any situation. Rose loved to prove otherwise, and it had because something of a game for them.
In a flash the images vanished, and he saw himself standing in a grassy field long coat billowing in the wind. Suddenly his head looked up towards the sky.
"You miss her..."
The doctor blinked in surprise finding himself once more within his TARDIS, the fire of the sun was nearly gone. Mere seconds had past, but the Doctor had seen many year, so much laughter, and even tears.
He could feel tears trailing down his face; it had all felt so real even in the rush, because it was him down there with Rose.
His head dropped as he reached for the controls; "Always..." he said nothing could change that.
Thanks for Reading!
Morganeth Taren'drel