Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

Author's note: I felt the need for something a bit silly and tullyfan gave me this idea.

Carnival

By Suzie2b

The base at Ras Tanura was at a standstill. Nothing coming in or going out. They were on standby as Allied High Command made plans.

The people that worked in headquarters, the hospital, mess hall, and a few others were able to stay busy enough. However, the average soldier … not so much. Major Gleason and Captain Boggs did their best to keep the men busy, but work details were coming at a premium after two weeks. The latest movies the base had were being shown daily instead three times weekly, but you can only watch Charlie Chan at the Opera and Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm so many times.

Major Gleason and Captain Boggs were in the major's office as he said, "Things are getting serious, captain. We've learned from experience what can happen when these people get bored. We have to find a way to keep the men and women on this base busy—before the practical jokes start."

Boggs said, "I'm out of ideas, sir. This base has been policed to a point where it may begin to sparkle soon."

"What about the water tower?"

"Repaired."

Gleason thought for a moment, then said, "What about the hole in the supply depot roof?"

Boggs sighed softly. "It's been taken care of too, major."

"Then perhaps something else is in order. Everyone has been behaving themselves thus far, but something's got to give soon."

"Do you have something in mind, major?"

Gleason smiled slightly. "I just might, Captain Boggs. I just might."

##################

The next morning notices were found posted at the mess hall, mail building, and the central bulletin board outside of headquarters.

"BEGINNING IMMEDIATELY, I, Major Thomas Gleason, have declared that this Thursday will be a holiday. There will be a carnival like atmosphere with awards. YOU, the men and women of this Allied base have forty-eight hours to pull it off. You'd better get busy—the festivities will begin at 0800 sharp!"

Major Gleason signed the bottom of the notice and added a handwritten notation that read, "I will be your Master of Ceremonies."

The response was immediate. Volunteers came out of the woodwork. Sergeant John Alexander—better known as Cookie—took charge by setting out a clipboard so people could sign up and suggest ideas.

Within an hour they had suggestions for an obstacle course, 3-legged race, bobbing for apples, egg-and-spoon race, ball-in-basket game, greased pole climbing, and a dunk tank.

Troy and Moffitt walked into the mess tent and stopped at the table where the clipboard was. Moffitt grinned and asked, "Care to sign up for something?"

Troy looked at the list with a smile. "I see you're helping with the greased pole project."

"I do have a few ideas that include lard."

"Hitch and Tully are on here to work on the obstacle course. That should be interesting."

Moffitt said, "Linda, Charley, and Diane are helping to put together the apple bobbing and the egg and spoon race."

Troy picked up the pen and put his name down with the others putting together the dunk tank. "There isn't a lot of time to put all this together."

Moffitt grinned. "That's part of the fun."

##################

The next two days were a flurry of activity. At the end of forty-eight hours, the base had been transformed into a carnival-like place. The obstacle course circled the perimeter of the base. Two metal wash tubs were set up with water and apples. There was an area roped off for the egg-and-spoon race. Three wooden baskets were nailed to a slanted board stand for the ball-in-basket game. A twenty foot wooden pole in the square that was normally used as a simple light stanchion was now greased with lard. And the pièce de résistance was the water filled dunk tank.

Troy put an arm around Diane and asked, "How did you ladies get Cookie to give you the apples and eggs?"

Diane smiled innocently. "It wasn't that hard really. Charley has that gruff ole sergeant wrapped around her little finger. But Cookie did actually volunteer the lard for the greased pole. He even instructed the guys on the ratio of lard to pole and its proper application."

"I know there's a story in there somewhere, but I'm not going to ask. I have to admit the obstacle course looks great. I can hardly wait to watch who runs it."

"Are you going to do it?"

Troy shook his head with a smile. "I did it enough in boot camp. I have no desire to do it again."

Moffitt joined them with Linda on his arm. "Guess who's been talked into sitting in the dunk tank."

Troy and Diane said in unison, "Who?"

"Captain Boggs and Nurse Vicky."

Linda said, "I guess it didn't take a lot to talk Lieutenant Lawson into it, but I hear it took short of a direct order from Major Gleason to get Captain Boggs to agree."

Troy grinned. "This just gets more and more interesting."

##################

Everyone was gathered in front of headquarters. At precisely 0800 hours, Major Gleason walked out and stood at the top of the steps. He wore his daily uniform, but instead of his usual hat he had on his head a crown that had been cut from yellow construction paper with the words "MASTER OF CEREMONIES" printed on it. Gleason cleared his throat loudly before he said, "I'm very impressed with what you people have done in a short time! This should prove to be an interesting and fun day that you all deserve! We are beginning the day with a three-legged race just to get you all warmed up. I expect to see everyone participating!" There was a collective groan that made the major smile. "After lunch we'll see just how good some of you are at climbing a pole that's been greased with lard. At the end of the day—and in my opinion the highlight—there will be the running of the obstacle course for which the winner will be granted an open-ended three day pass. In between these contests there will be bobbing for apples, an egg-and-spoon race, and a game of ball-in-basket … whatever that is. There is also a dunking tank where our very own Captain Boggs and Lieutenant Lawson will be taking turns in throughout the day." Major Gleason paused for effect, then said, "I now declare this carnival open!"

The three-legged race: Partners were quickly paired up. Some with two guys, some with two girls, and others were guys and girls. Right legs were attached to left legs. A handmade flag was dropped and off they went. Hitch and Tully took an early lead, but ended up tripping, falling in a heap with fits of laughter. Charley and her friend Nancy came in fourth.

Bobbing for apples: Linda giggled as she watched Moffitt duck his head into one of the tubs to chase an apple. He had to come up for air once before he finally snagged one of them. When he stood up with water dripping down the front of his shirt, Moffitt bowed formally and presented the apple to Linda as he said, "A prize for the lady."

Linda took the offered fruit with a smile as she gave him one of the towels she held for the participants to use and said, "Thank you, kind sir. Perhaps you can get one for yourself now."

Moffitt smiled as he dried his face and hair. "No, thank you. I think I'd prefer an orange or maybe a juicy pear."

Egg-and-spoon race: Diane talked Troy into joining in the fun. Two teams at a time of up to four people each raced across the roped off area with a raw egg held in a spoon. This time Troy, Moffitt, Hitch, and Tully went up against Diane, Linda, Teresa, and Charley. Long story short—of the guys only Moffitt got from one end to the other with an undropped, unbroken or cracked egg. The ladies took their time, didn't drop a single egg, even during the handoff, and won the bragging rights of beating the mighty soldiers.

After a lunch of hotdogs, hamburgers, and deep-fried potatoes, which was fit for any carnival, people gathered around the greased pole in the square. The Master of Ceremonies announced to the crowd, "There are only three men brave enough to sign up for this contest! Carl Jensen, Mark Hitchcock, and Eric Anderson. Is there anyone else who would like to give this a try?" No one stepped forward. Major Gleason grinned. "Smart people."

The idea was to get up to where a bell had been attached and ring it to signify a triumphant climb.

Carl was first. The big, strong private would normally have had no problem climbing, but with the greasy lard it was near impossible. Everyone cheered Carl on as he struggled and grunted before giving up at the halfway point, letting himself slide to the bottom in a greasy, sweaty heap.

Major Gleason gave the private a hand up as he said, "Good try, Jensen. Good try."

Carl smiled. "Thank you, sir." As he released the major's hand, they both looked at his now lard covered palm. Carl winced and said, "Sorry, sir."

Gleason sighed good-naturedly. "That's quite all right. Can someone get me a towel?" As he wiped his hand, he said, "All right, Hitchcock, you're next."

They watched as men with ladders re-greased the pole, then Hitch took a deep breath and stepped up to it. The crowd whooped and cheered as Hitch began to shinny his way up the slippery pole. At the halfway point, he slid down a few feet, but with a lot of grunting and effort he stopped himself. Then Hitch started upwards again with the crowd yelling their encouragement. Finally, he reached the bell and gave it a ring before sliding back down to the ground amidst applause and whistles.

Major Gleason stepped up to Hitch as the private caught his breath. This time the major didn't offer his hand as he gave his congratulations, "Good work, Hitchcock!"

Eric Anderson was next. The pole was again slathered with lard and the smallest of the three privates made a steady, slow climb. At the top, Eric triumphantly rang the bell.

After offering his congratulations, Gleason said, "Well, this is a surprise! We have a tie! However, we have prepared for this unlikely event." He held up a stopwatch. "The climbs were timed. The quickest will be the winner." The major turned and looked at his secretary and asked, "Miss Jones, have you recorded the times?"

With a look of incredulous amusement, Margaret said, "Of course I have. That's why I'm here."

Gleason smiled. "Well then, who is the winner?"

"By a margin of 10.6 seconds … the winner is Eric Anderson!"

The private jumped and let out a triumphant holler. "I've never won anything before!"

Hitch shook his hand with a smile. "I didn't know you had it in you, Eric. Congratulations."

The winner grinned and said, "Thanks, Mark. You did a good job too. I sure didn't win by much."

Major Gleason stepped up to the three contestants with the certificate that Margaret had made touting the winner and a drawing of a greasy looking pole with a man trying to climb it. The major handed it to Eric and said, "Now, if you take this to supply you'll be given a clean uniform." He turned to Hitch and Carl with a grin. "I suggest you two go hit the showers."

Tully and Charley found Troy and Diane at the dunk tank. Troy was standing back watching Diane try to knock a very wet Nurse Vicky off her perch.

Diane threw baseball after baseball at the target, and missed each time. Everyone was laughing, including Vicky, who was goading the other woman to try harder. After she missed the sixth time, Diane laughed and ran forward, hitting the target with her hands. With a snap the plank fell away, sending Vicky into the water. There was much applause and cheering.

Tully asked Troy, "Are you gonna try it, sarge?"

Troy grinned as Diane joined them. "Yeah, but I'm waiting for Captain Boggs to come back. He should be here in about thirty minutes. How'd Hitch do?"

"He made it to the top, but lost to Eric Anderson by 10.6 seconds. He went back to the barracks to shower and change."

Troy, Tully, Diane, and Charley wandered away from the dunk tank planning to return when Captain Boggs was there. They stopped at the ball-in-basket game and watched as people tried to get balls into the baskets that were nailed to a board. There was a hand painted sign that read, "You get 3 balls and 3 tries. Each basket is worth 5 points. To get the points the ball must STAY in the basket."

Under that sign was another. "5 pts. = a Contender Badge; 10 pts. = a small carved doll made personally by Ali Karem; 15 pts. = a rubber duck."

Diane questioned, "A rubber duck?"

Troy chuckled. "Tyson, Collins, and Stevens went on a hunt to find prizes and stopped by supply to see if there was anything there. Lieutenant Hill gave them a crate full of rubber ducks. No one knows where they came from or why they were sent here. Hill told them the crate's been sitting in the warehouse since before he came along."

Tully said, "They got some paint and spent the night painting the black rubber ducks different colors."

Charley indicated a middle-aged man sitting on a woven mat with small pieces of wood piled around him as he carved. "Who's that?"

"That's Ali Karem. He does wood carving in the marketplace. Hitch told me he was promised a penny for every one of those little figurines that someone wins."

There was a groan of disappointment as a ball bounced out of one of the baskets. It was Tyson who announced, "Well, you did get one in for 5 points." He handed a piece of paper cut into the shape of a police officer's badge with the word "CONTENDER" printed on it. "Come back and try again some time."

Charley smiled. "Tully, win me something."

He'd been watching each of the people who tried tossing the three balls. Most of them bounced out. Occasionally, though, one would stay in a basket. Tully said, "Okay, I'll give it a try."

He stepped up to the line and took the three balls from Tyson. Tully eyed one of the baskets and took a breath. With a toss and a flick of his wrist, the ball sailed into the basket, took a spin around the inside before settling. There was a round of applause. Tully again eyed his target and the second ball spun before stopping in the second basket. The crowd again clapped, but added a cheer this time.

Charley said over the crowd, "I'd like a duck, please!"

Tully smiled, but didn't take his eyes off the third basket. He gave the ball a toss as he'd done with the other two. But it hit the rim of the basket and bounced up. There was a collective "Awe!" as the crowd thought it was a miss.

However, when the ball came down it hit the rim again, this time in such a way as to send it into the basket. The crowd erupted into cheers.

Tully grinned and looked at Charley. "Go get your duck."

She picked one that had been painted yellow with blue eyes and a red bill.

When Troy, Tully, Diane, and Charley returned to the dunk tank, they found a crowd of soldiers taking turns sending Captain Boggs into the water. They pushed through to the front just in time to see Hitch throwing and missing the target.

Boggs taunted, "Come on, private, you can do better than that!"

Hitch straightened up and gave the captain a salute along with one of his cocky smiles. "Yes, sir, Captain Boggs!" The next pitch hit the target square in the middle and sent Boggs into the tank of water with a splash. "You can never say I don't follow orders!"

Troy and Tully moved in to stand next to Moffitt. Troy asked with a grin, "Have you had a turn yet?"

Moffitt smiled. "I'm up next. The line forms behind me."

The sergeant took his place and picked up one of the baseballs and Captain Boggs said, "Sergeant Moffitt! I wouldn't have pegged you as a baseball man."

Moffitt chuckled. "Actually, sir, I'm more of a cricket man. I was a pretty good bowler in college."

"A bowler? What's bowling have to do with cricket?"

Moffitt wound up and let the ball fly just as if were pitching to the batsman during a cricket match. The ball flew true and hit the target with a loud, satisfying smack. Boggs came up out of the water sputtering and Moffitt smiled and said, "That's how the British bowl, captain."

Boggs mumbled under his breath as he reset the plank and climbed back onto his perch. When he sat down he found Troy standing there tossing a ball from one hand to the other. The captain said good-naturedly, "Well, Sergeant Troy, I suppose this shouldn't surprise me."

Troy grinned. "No, sir, it sure shouldn't." He threw a fastball at the target and missed.

Boggs laughed. "You're going to have to do better than that!"

Undaunted, Troy picked up a second ball, squeezed it into his palm, and looked at the captain with a slight smile. He shook his head, set the ball aside to pick another. This time Troy nodded and turned back to the target. Another hard thrown fastball was a bit high, but it was enough to trigger another splash down in the tank.

Tully followed Troy and was ready when Boggs had reseated himself. "Hi, captain. Are you comfortable?"

Wiping the water out of eyes, Boggs smiled and said, "No, but let's see what you've got, private." From a pocket Tully produced his trusty slingshot and a ball bearing. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fixin' to send you into the tank, sir."

"With that? That won't be enough to trigger…"

There was a loud thwack as the ball bearing hit the target dead center. There was no hesitation as the mechanism clicked and the plank let the captain fall once more.

##################

Towards the end of the day, after all the apples had been bobbed, all of the prizes were won, and all of Cookies corndogs were eaten, it was time for the obstacle course.

Master of Ceremonies Major Thomas Gleason, still wearing his construction paper crown, stood on the hood of a jeep. "All right people! It's the end of the day and it's time for the obstacle course! Now it's self-explanatory so I won't waste time telling you what to do! I will remind you, however, that the prize going to the winner will be an open-ended three day pass!" A cheer went up and the major waited for things to calm down before he said, "At this time anyone interested needs to step up to the starting line." A red rag tied to a stick was handed up to Major Gleason as people, mostly men but there were a few women too, shuffled and readied themselves at the starting line, then he held the flag high and yelled, "Ready! Steady!" He grinned as he paused dramatically before finally dropping the flag. "GO!"

As the crowd heaved forward the guys that worked so hard to put the course together stationed themselves at various high points around the track to watch.

The first obstacle was timbers stretched across an empty ditch. Everyone made it. Then they had to climb ladders and slide down an outstretched rope, which there were three of.

Jeeps and halftracks were set in the way at various places so they would have to be climbed over. There were ropes that were used to swing over another ditch, but this one was full of muddy water. Uneven stacks of pallets had to be traversed. A wall made of sheets of wood had to be climbed over.

The course took them around the inside of the base's perimeter wall, but not into the Arab quarter. By the time people started to appear at the part that Hitch and Tully had put together, attrition had taken its toll as both men and women dropped out. The two stood on the hood of a halftrack and cheered the competitors took on their obstacle—a shallow ditch covered over with wire, but not barbed wire like the men had faced in basic training. The narrow passage that had to be crawled through was soaked and muddy.

About midway in the pack Tully suddenly stopped as he recognized a small, mud-covered figure making her way under the wire. Hitch asked, "What's up?"

Tully pointed at his wife and said, "Charley didn't say anything about doing this!" He grinned at Hitch. "I gotta get to the finish line before her."

As Tully jumped down and started running, Hitch laughed and went back to being part of the cheering section.

After crawling through the mud, it was a sprint to the finish line. Tully got there as exhausted men crossed the line and were congratulating each other as a couple of men with hoses hooked to a water truck began to rinse the competitors off. Then a couple of women finished, but neither were who he was looking for.

After another minute, Tully grinned as he saw Charley running straight at him with a big smile on her muddied face. Without hesitation she crossed the finish line and leaped into Tully's arms.

Hitch joined Troy and Moffitt on the sidelines and asked, "Did Charley make it?"

Moffitt smiled and said, "I should say so."

Troy walked over to the one of the men near the truck. He pointed at Tully and Charley and said with a grin, "You better cool those two off."

The unexpected stream of water hit Tully in the back of the legs, knocking him backwards as Charley let out a surprised yelp and landed on top of him.

##################

Master of Ceremonies Major Thomas Gleason again stood on a jeep with the wet and still a bit muddy winner of the obstacle course. "Accolades and a three day pass goes to Private Doug Peterson!" He shook the young man's hand and said, "You can pick that pass up from my secretary tomorrow." Then he looked at the wet mud on his palm.

The private said, "Sorry, sir."

"That's quite all right, private. At least it's not lard." Major Gleason smiled as he looked out at the crowd and said, "I hope you all had a good time, because I now declare this carnival closed!"

##################

The next day it was back to business as usual. Tully and Charley were having breakfast when Troy, Moffitt, and Hitch showed up. As they sat down, Troy said, "Diane wanted me to congratulate you for her 'on a job well done' running the obstacle course. She'd tell you herself, but she wasn't sure when she'd see you."

Moffitt smiled. "It's a shame you didn't win."

Charley sipped her tea, then said, "The other girls and I decided to do it at the last minute. We knew we couldn't win, but it was fun and I have a better appreciation of what you guys went through in basic training."

Tully said, "I wish you would've told me you were doing it."

Hitch chuckled. "I heard them talking about it, but Charley made me promise not to tell you."

Charley looked at her husband. "I wanted to surprise you."

Tully grinned. "You sure did do that."

A private from headquarters walked in and handed a note to Troy. The sergeant unfolded the piece of paper, read the note, then said, "Well, it looks like High Command has finally made some decisions. Captain Boggs has an assignment for us. Let's eat up and get over to headquarters."