Disclaimer: Me not own any Buffy characters or WWE characters. Oh, if I only did…
Timeline: Kind of AU for the WWE folk. In Buffyverse…no Tara, Anya, or Dawn. Everyone is unattached except Buffy and Riley. After Spike got chipped and kinda became a Scooby. In other words, slightly AU as well.
Pairings: Buffy/Riley (established), Adam/Jay, small Spike/WWE-ers, might be Matt/Xander and Jeff/Willow
Angelus grinned at her maliciously. "Go on. Kill me," he said softly.
Buffy hesitated, the sword tip resting just on his chest. "You killed Miss Calender," she said emotionlessly. "You hurt Giles, and Willow…" Her voice broke.
"And you," Angelus finished. His grin stayed, taunting her. "How does it feel to be on the wrong end of the strength line?"
Buffy nodded, the motion sending the blade dangerously close to breaking the dead skin. "Like you do now."
Without another word she thrust the sword down as hard as she could straight through his heart…and he looked at her, still smiling as he melted into Riley.
That was when she awoke crying.
Matt shook his head. "Why?"
His brother shot him a look. "What?"
"No, why?"
"I know why, but why?"
Matt scratched his head. "This is going around in circles."
Jeff shrugged. "Why did you say why?"
"No reason. Just wondering why mama and dad didn't stop after one kid."
The youngest Hardy shot him an injured look. "Don'tcha love me anymore?" he whimpered pathetically.
Matt whistled innocently as packet of Fritos hit his younger sibling upside the head. Jeff glared at him, rubbing the spot whilst Matt ducked away from about a dozen flying packs of Skittles.
The blonde nearest the counter rolled his eyes. Closing his eyes and concentrating, he centred himself and lightly pulled on his friend's consciousness. He flicked a hand. The freaked out clerk suddenly received a dreamy look about him within the midst of a few blue sparkles. "Idiots," he stated, before directing one of the Skittle packets to hit another blonde on the head as he came out of the bathroom.
"Ow."
"Serves you right," the first blonde tittered, watching as Matt went to war with Jeff, Snickers bar against a tube of toothpaste.
"Why?"
Adam shot him a look. "What?"
The brunette and his blue-haired brother stopped the battle and shrugged. Grinning devilishly, they opened one of the packs of Skittles. If the designated grown-ups weren't watching, they could at least store up a bit of sugar-
"Uh uh!" Adam whipped the packet out of their hands, scowling at them when he realised the pack was open. Matt just smiled at him, chewing innocently. Sighing heavily, he dropped the bright plastic on the counter and handed the still dreamy clerk a bill.
"How long have we got until Sunnydale?" Adam questioned.
The other blonde checked his watch. "We should be there by sundown."
Adam nodded, watching as Matt suddenly found a new use for pancake mix. "Just enough time to get to her."
Jay rested his head on his lover's shoulder. "Don't you mean him?"
Pressing a quick kiss to Jay's temple the tall blonde reiterated, "Him. Them. Whatever."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Red, what are you doing?"
Willow paced, an almost annoyed look on her face. "It's seven fifteen."
Spike lit a cigarette and inhaled. Realizing that even after his nicotine rush it still didn't make any sense, he gave up. "Which means…?"
Willow stopped pacing, shooting him a confused look. "Which means what?"
The vampire let out an annoyed sigh. _You don't have to breathe, remember?_ "What does 'it's seven fifteen' have to do with you pacing up and down wearing a hole in the carpet?"
She sniffed. "There is no carpet here. And Buffy was supposed to meet me here at seven."
"Slutty probably just landed in a clutch of fledglings," he shrugged.
After a beat of silence they looked at one another. Willow moved to grab their coats and Spike grabbed his own Mr. Pointy.
"Yeah, the devil…da-na-da-na sure, beat the monster red so the blood don't stain the floor…" Matt laughed.
"Yeah, never, beetle set for sure, story of the shatknee sickness watch it flow yeah!" Jeff continued. They bounded down the concrete before Jeff stopped, smack-dab in the middle of the road. Matt kept twirling, mindless of the very few pedestrians looking at him like he was crazy. "Hey, Adam? What does 'shatknee' mean?"
The tallest blonde rolled his eyes. "It's not shatknee, Jeff, it's 'shot come'."
Jeff nodded sagely. "Oh."
He frowned. "What's a shot come sickness?"
Jay rolled his eyes at both of them. "It's not shot come sickness, it's 'sorry as a shot, came sickness'."
Jeff rolled his eyes back at him. "What does that mean?"
Jay shrugged. "Ask Adam. It was his music."
Adam groaned. "Thanks," he growled. "Offload the brat onto me."
The smaller blonde grinned at him angelically and leaned his head against Adam's shoulder. "You love me for it." Jeff bounced impatiently, getting a little sick to the stomach as his two best friends made coo-coo eyes at one another.
A scream interrupted their thoughts. Jeff shot a look at the two behind him. They all started running.
"Where's Matt?" Adam shouted over the pounding footfalls.
Jay, the fastest of them, skidded to a stop at the entrance of an alleyway. "Here," he called back.
As Adam and Jeff slid to a halt behind him, Jay sprang into the developing fight.
Matt blocked quickly, sending a split-second glance to check out where his friends were. Jay was keeping the other one busy, Adam was searching the muck on the side of the alley for wood and Jeff was checking on the victim. Matt giggled as the vampire tried to bite him before bringing a knee up. "Yo, Matt!" he heard. The brunette glanced up just in time to catch a flying pencil-sized shard of wood. He raised an eyebrow as he drove it home.
Adam watched as Matt came over, dusting off his hands. "You couldn't have made it any smaller, could you? I mean all that bulky extra wood just got in the way." The two watched as Jay kept fighting against the taller, heavier vampire.
"Any help for me?" Jay managed to get out, ducking away from a chop that sliced a few centimetres into the brick wall behind him.
Adam and Matt shrugged innocently. "DDT," Mat suggested.
"Spear," Adam countered.
"Unprettier," they heard Jeff call from behind them. He appeared, grinning, as Jay finished the unmoving vamp off with a stake to the chest. "How much were we betting?"
"Nothing now," Matt told him, walking out of the lane slowly. "The chick?"
"Dead." They turned to wait for the blondes at the end of the alley.
Adam and Jay exchanged glances with the two younger men. "We should find him soon," Jay whispered.
Adam frowned faintly before crouching and kissing two fingers. He pressed the two fingers to the victim's forehead, whispering something under his breath.
The girl gasped in a rattling, raspy breath.
Jay smiled at his boyfriend proudly, who gave an answering triumphant smile. As the girl stirred, Jay whispered a few words, the palm of his hand inches from touching the girl's forehead. A light blue glow enveloped his fingertips before darting towards the female. Matt grinned, and slapped Jeff on the shoulder. "You're it!"
Jay shook his head, darting after the two mischievous men. "Hey! I say, hey now!" Adam could hear Jay called in a horrible Southern twang. Adam glanced at the girl quickly, then walked off with a swish of his duster.
Willie had been victim to a hell of a lot of things in his day. Bharal demons, the Slayer, vamps, ghouls and ghosties…
But he couldn't remember anything like this.
Four guys, all a least a hundred odd pounds heavier than him, and three around six inches taller. Next one probably four inches on that. All four dressed totally in black, in long-sleeve and high-necked tops, the two blondes in jeans and the other two in long, baggy cargoes. All in a circle around him and demanding.
"Where the hell does Spike live?" a brunette demanded.
Willie tried the bluff. "I don't know any Spike."
One of the blondes rolled his eyes and grabbed a roll of bills from his back pocket. "Two hundred says you give us a true yes or no."
The smaller, slimier man's eyes bulged. "Then again, the face is coming back to me." He made a grab for the money but the second, shorter blonde grabbed it quicker.
"Five double-oh says you give us an approximate location." He added three more bills to the kitty.
"Well, uh, the Sunnydale Memorial Cemetery is pretty nice this time of night if you avoid the Slayer. And the mausoleum of a certain Dr Robert Parker is furnished unusually well, if you would want to drop in there," Willie garbled.
The blue…or was it purple?…haired dude smiled, making an elaborate show of straightening Willie's cheap suit and tie. He then kinda ruined the effect by slapping him to the ground.
Blondie #1 let the bills drop by his head, the brunette half-heartedly kicking him as they left.
_Thud._
_Hiss._
One fledgling down, a gazillion to go.
Spike cracked his back, circulating his limbs in their sockets before twisting in midair to avoid another one. Nothing like a little bit of old-fashioned violence to get the good ol' undead heart and blood pumping. He staked the young one immediately, glancing around to see the rest of the fledglings were finished. "Aye, Red!" he called. "I'll be off."
The witch nodded at him, helping Buffy up from her not all that nice position of folded in a dumpster. "Bye, Spike."
The blonde didn't bother glancing around before utterly vamping out and start running full-pelt for home. The anticipated fight had been finished almost before the witch and vampire had arrived, but there was still that annoying adrenaline ticking at him something awful. He swerved, narrowly missing a group of chattering teens that didn't even look twice at his demon face. Yet another bullet-point on his 'Sunnydale Residents Are Stupid Gits' list.
Leaping easily over the cemetery fence he used a few tombstones to leapfrog easily to his 'home'. He landed lightly outside and sniffed. He growled lightly before recognising the scents…
This was not going to be a good night to be a certain former mass-murdering vamp.
Jeff smiled at Matt as the brunette's fingers ticked down the seconds. _Five, four, three, two…one._
He bounced out and squealed, jumping easy circles around the startled bleached-blonde vamp trying to remain dignified outside the concrete building. As he came out of the shadows Adam rolled his eyes at the elder 'man' and pulled him into a half-hug. "Great to see you again," he muttered.
"Wish I could say the same for you four whelps," Spike returned, fending off an overexcited Jeff with one hand.
"What's with the face?" Jay asked softly.
William the Bloody lightly touched his demon face before shifting. "Sorry love," he said in an equally soft tone before pulling the smallest blonde into a bone-crushing hug. "Missed you," he whispered into Jay's hair.
Adam sent him a teasing grin as they trooped into the crypt Spike called his home. "Hands off. Mine."
Spike pulled Jay away slightly, studying him. Jay flushed. "Four years."
"Finally!" Matt exclaimed, jumping onto the couch. He peeked over the back of it at his four friends. "Adam told Jeff and Jay told me and we got to matchmaking."
"I can figure you doing that, you little ass," Spike said affectionately, diving over the back of the couch onto his friend. Ruffling his hair he grinned. "So what ever happened to that hourglass blonde you obsessed over for months?"
Matt mock-frowned back. "You drank him, you little pig."
"Oh yeah," Spike remembered. "You aren't still mad at me for that, are you?"
Matt smiled angelically, resting his head on Spike's chest. "Why would I be mad, Spikey?"
Jeff coughed. "Last time you got that expression on your face my favourite shoes were mysteriously nailed to the wall and there were photos of me asleep in drag conveniently pinned up on the hotel bulletin board. And I still have to get you back for that, Matthew."
"Be afraid, William. Be very, very afraid," Jay told him from his position in Adam's lap.
Spike raised his eyebrows in their direction. "I don't think I need to tell you what happens if you hurt him," he warned.
Adam nodded, expecting nothing less from the vampire. "I'll welcome anything you do if I hurt him."
Jeff grinned at Jay, who rolled his eyes. "I wonder when they'll remember I'm here," Jay said to him in a stage whisper.
Spike glared at the blonde, not looking as threatening as he would have liked considering Matt was still cuddled up to him like a puppy.
"Jeff, could you smack him please?" Jay asked, sticking his tongue in his cheek.
"With pleasure." SMACK.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?"
Jay smiled at him, his angelic grin matching Matt's. "To tell you that I can handle myself, thank you very much. If Adam deserves a good kick in the nuts, I'm going to be the one to do it."
Adam winced. "Uh, love? That's not exactly something you should be telling your boy-fffphmmmp!"
Jeff rolled his eyes as the two started necking. "I don't know how much handling of himself Jay's going to be doing."
"Adam'll manage fine," Matt said, still smiling at Spike.
"I'm really in trouble aren't I pet?" Spike asked.
Matt nodded.
"Oh for the love of-"
"Thank God natural blondes are getting rarer," Matt muttered.
Jeff stuck his tongue out. "Child," he sniffed.
"You're younger than me," Mat shot back.
"Guys, guys, please shut the hell up!" Jay snapped.
"Gimmick infringement," he could hear Adam mutter.
"Oooooh…" both Hardyz mocked. Then "Yeep!" as Jay lunged for them.
Spike heaved a sigh before flicking the end of a bottle at Adam. "Alcohol?"
"Please."
They ignored the impromptu tackle-tag game between Jason, Matt and Jeff. The both of them, however, deigned to interfere as soon as Jeff's tackle of Matt went a little wide and hit the table they were sitting at, sending the alcohol flying.
Thereon it became a battle of "I'll kill you!"s, "sorry!"s, "catch me if you can!"s and a heck of a lot of raspberry noises from the less mature members of the group (namely Matt and Jeff) followed by loud yelps.
But of course the natural law states that in your most embarrassing moment there must be witnesses. Following this law, it was at Spike's most embarrassing point of the fight that Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles and Riley walked in.
"Bloody hell," Spike muttered. He winced. "I'm getting squashed here luvs."
Jeff grinned in victory, ignoring the gaping people a few feet to his left. He ruffled Spike's hair. "Poor Spikey-wikey, we getting too heavy for you?"
Spike growled at the young man sitting on his chest. "I am most definitely going to stake-oof!"
Matt giggled before bouncing on Spike's stomach again. "Me want ride on horsey!" he demanded.
The blonde vampire oof-ed again, what little air remained inside his undead lungs whooshing out. "Love, if I've said it once, I've said it a zillion times, I don't swing your way."
The Scoobies exchanged glances. "Uh…huh…" Riley said slowly.
Spike twisted his head around at the voice, eyes widening as he took in the group standing there. "Eeep," he managed.
Adam and Jay rolled their eyes at one another before steeping forward and each grabbing a Hardy by the ear.
"Owie owie owie!" Jeff protested.
Matt took his punishment from Adam more quietly. He sat on the lidded tomb and commenced sulking, hands crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips.
The bleached blonde Spike coughed, trying to regain some composure and dignity, then looked up at the Scoobies.
"Can we just back away and pretend this never happened?" Xander asked in a faint voice.
Buffy shook her head slowly. "Oh, I wish we could."
Jeff started whimpering at Jay. "That's not going to work," the blonde warned.
Matt nudged Adam with his elbow. "After puppy eyes?"
Adam shook his head. "Pouting."
"Ten?"
"Why not make it interesting?"
Jeff crowed as Jay grimaced and let him go. Matt stuck his hand out with a grin. "You overestimate your boy." Adam growled as he handed the elder Hardy a bill. Matt kicked his feet in celebration, the dull thuds barely sounding in the packed crypt.
Giles cleared his throat. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Spike?"
The vamp in question quickly sculled the rest of an abandoned bottle before answering. "Do I have to?"
"Introduce us to your nice friends, Spikey-Wikey," Jeff piped up, jumping around Spike's mausoleum. Jay rolled his eyes and firmly sat him down on Spike's couch, grabbing an innocent bystander by the name of Willow and plonking her in his lap.
"Please don't move," he begged. Whether he was asking Willow or Jeff, though, no one could tell.
Willow blushed a deep red. "I…uh…buh, I…uh…"
Jeff, for his part, had interlocked his hands around the redhead's waist and was grinning.
Xander looked indignant…and a little caveman-ish. Buffy, on the other hand, just looked a little murderous. "Who the hell are you?" she demanded, hands on hips.
Adam, who had been quietly exploring the walls of Spike's 'home', smirked slightly at her angry expression. "Sorry love, but weren't you the ones who came barging in here?"
"I think we would be the ones entitled to your identities first," Jay added, curling up on the end of the sofa not occupied by Jeff and Willow. He frowned a little, kicking lightly at Jeff. "Lovebird, you just met her. You can't keep her."
Jeff just smiled angelically at him over Willow's shoulder. She had given up on trying to wriggle out, and had squished him into a position just nice for her. "Who says I can't?"
The Slayer growled as Willow blushed again. Jeff felt the warmth radiating from her cheek to his, and pressed his face up even closer to hers. "You smell nice," he said out of the blue.
The Slayer growled yet again, about two milliseconds away from marching over and yanking Willow out of Jeff's grasp. Riley held her back with a hand across her chest. "I'm Special Agent Riley Finn, of the Initiative. This is Buffy Summers, current Vampire Slayer. This is Rupert Giles, her Watcher. Alexander Harris. And the redhead your-" He sniffed. "-_friend_ manhandled is Willow Rosenburg, resident Wicca."
All four strangers blinked.
"He has to get his rocks off," Spike muttered.
"Just try it, hostile," Riley snapped.
Adam scratched his head, absently pacing like a caged animal. "Alrighty. So this is Buffy…longest living Slayer in…" His lips moved silently as he counted. "…three thousand and forty-three? No, forty-four years. Rupert Giles who turned his back on the Watcher's Council when they decided to play God…Xander-"
"Who if I say so myself, is much cuter than that Mucana demon said-" Matt butted in. Xander started stuttering and blushing.
Adam gave his friend a dirty look. "-and who if I remember correctly, almost single-handedly defended Sunnydale for four months. And of course Miss Willow, who closed the Hellmouth. Period. But uh…" The blonde scratched his head again, stopping at the end of Matt's improvised couch. "Who exactly are _you_?"
Riley went purple.
"But who exactly are _you_?" Willow echoed, turning to look at the three of them, still on Jeff's lap.
Jay smiled at her, kicking Jeff again. "I'm Jay, black hair is Matt, you're sitting on Jeff and the blonde over there is Adam."
"Uh, but back to what you said, Mr. Matt, sir?" Xander asked. "You really think-"
"That you're cute?" Matt finished, his feet continuing the dull thuds against the concrete.
"Uh, that would be what I was looking for, yeah."
The brunette wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I don't discuss my sexual preferences in public. However, if we decide to continue this conversation in private-"
"Too much info, there," Buffy cut in.
As Adam continued pacing, the other three exchanged glances. "Babe?" Jay said softly, propping himself up.
Adam smiled at him, a small smile, and came over to the second blonde. The smaller of the two edged up on the couch, and six-five of blonde, tanned Canadian squeezed himself into four-odd foot of space left by Jeff, Willow and Jay. The two held a muttered conversation, which ended with a sheepish smile from Adam and a long, fairly chaste kiss from Jay. Riley hurriedly backed away, as Matt and Jeff watched in amusement.
"You can't catch homosexuality, commando boy," the elder brunette noted. "Or bisexuality in their case."
Spike grinned. "Oh, you and the whelp are going to get along fabulously."
"Why are you here?" Buffy asked, a tad frostily.
"Family issues," Jeff said evasively, interrupting a whispered conversation between himself and Willow for a moment.
"Then why are you visiting Spike?" Giles questioned.
Adam raised an eyebrow from his spot behind Jay. "What is this, the Inquisition?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes in return. "You are the ones who invaded _our_ town and are now associating with a vampire who has tried to kill us several times. I think we have a right to know why."
Jay smiled softly, pressing a kiss to Adam's forehead. Riley was looking a little green. "If you're that worried, boyo, go outside," Jeff said impatiently before levelling his gaze at Giles. "I'm surprised you haven't heard of us…didn't recognise us."
"But we aren't all that well known," Adam disagreed, looking at the other two of his friends for confirmation.
Matt shrugged, still swinging his legs like a little kid. "Still, it's not as if we're all that common."
"Um, I hate to ask, being that I'm sitting on the lap of one of you and all, but what exactly are you?" Willow asked, looking up into the face of the man that held her in his lap.
"All of us are blood," Jeff replied cryptically.
"You're all related?" Xander asked in disgust, looking at the two males cuddling on the couch.
"Not those two," Jeff nodded at Adam and Jay.
"But you just said…" Buffy trailed off.
"Bloody hell, chits, they're my childe," Spike snapped.
"Nicely done, Spike," Adam muttered as the Scoobies were shocked silent.
The bleached blonde looked on in amusement. "I should really say that more often."