He was…god. How to describe him. He was the most irritating person I knew, hands down. Always had to get his way, always had to be right. It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. Always cracking jokes at the most inappropriate times. Usually to avoid "touchy-feely" "chick-flick" moments as he liked to call them. A.K.A. anything to do with emotions. Maybe it was the way Dad raised us, but either way he just can't deal with anything even slightly having to do with emotional things.
He was such a liar. Really good at it too. That's not to say he didn't get caught in the act. Oh, no, far from it. He was a huge playboy, I mean seriously, but let's not go there. Overall, he was just an alcoholic, car-obsessed, dweeb.
But…he looked out for me. All the damn time. Such a mother-hen, though he'd never admit it. There are so many things I could say about him, but it would go on for hours, and there are some things that just can't be put into words. Like my gratitude towards him for…well everything. Even when he was being an ass (which was most of the time). Or my extreme regret that I didn't appreciate him more when he was alive, and that it's only now, looking back, that I can even begin to try to understand how much he meant to me. Even just trying to explain how happy I was sitting next to him, in the passenger seat of Baby, criticizing his music, and trying to hide my laughter as he sang (horribly) and drummed along to those awful songs.
I guess that, if this speech is any indication, I'm not so good with the emotional stuff either so I'll just wrap it up here.
So, here's to my brother. The ridiculous, emotionally-stunted, awkward, playboy who devoted his life to saving everyone and was thanked for none of it.
I'll see you the next time around.
Love,
Sammy