Alright, here's my second songfic, this one's to Three Days Grace's "Never Too Late". What can I say, I loved writing the first one! I was in a writing mood, so I found the lyrics to this song (which I love) and the story just kind of wrote itself. It's set about three years after season three, written in Jamie's POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or the lyrics to Three Days Grace's "Never Too Late".
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong, who would have guessed it
How did it all go so bad so fast? She had it all. Had you asked her ten years ago, she would have told you that someday, she would be atop Billboard's Top 100 charts and she'd be making platinum records until her lungs gave out.
Her dreams came true once she won Instant Star. Or so she thought.
I watched it all happen. She'd hit an all-time high in just her first year in the industry. She'd kept her producing from leaving not once, but twice, and everything between them was seemingly falling into place. She'd gotten a killer backup band. Yes, her parents had divorced, but she wrote an amazing song from it and got a closer relationship from her sister, in addition to less of the obvious tension in the Harrison household.
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late
And then it all snapped, just two and a half years later. Now, I'm sitting here with her, in this bleak hospital room – first time I've actually seen her in at least three years. She's twenty-one now. I should've been here when she was nineteen, but I wouldn't just up-and-leave my prospering record label and position as owner for her. Just to tell her that he'd come back, and everything would be alright. I thought she just wanted that comfort from me that she always searched for after she felt bad because of Tom Quincy. But it was so much more than that.
Even if I say, "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
I'm here now, though. And I'm trying to make it better. Tell her that it's not too late to turn her life around. It'll be alright; she doesn't have to do what she's doing.
But this isn't the same headstrong redhead I'd been friends with for the first fifteen years of our lives, or even the beautifully stubborn blonde I'd known for three. This is a broken woman with no will to live.
I won't this happen to her.
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late, it's never too late
Come on, Jude. I know you have more than this. You're not going to succumb to this. This quality of life that you thought was all you deserved. You deserve so much more. You shouldn't be in this hospital bed, listening to a beeping monitor and my distressed muttering. You can turn this around. You should be listening to screaming fans and your hit music pumping through everyone's car speakers. You can go back to the life you earned. It's not too late.
No one will ever see this side reflected
And if there's something wrong, who would have guessed it
The tabloids couldn't tell. Paegan couldn't tell. Sadie and Kwest couldn't tell.
But the horrible part is… I couldn't tell either. And I'll never forgive myself for that.
She kept up such a good front, you know? Classic smile for the tabloids, always composed. No Britney-like fiascos.
At least, so we thought. Is it wrong to wish she would've had one of those typical celebrity meltdowns, so I would have known something was wrong? I would've been able to help her.
And I have left alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late
I know I have to help her now. When I got the call from Sadie that she was in the hospital, I knew. But I never expected for the doctor to tell me how severe this all was.
After Tommy left for Thailand with the seat next to his empty, I knew things would be weird for a while. She told me that he had offered her a ticket, but she had declined. She chose to stay here, with me. And it worked out for a little while. But we realized we weren't meant to be. Her heart had left months ago, on a small plane to Asia with one empty seat it shouldn't have had.
She let the love of her life fly away so she wouldn't hurt me. And I wouldn't even drop a business meeting to help her. I need to make it right, I need to help her. Now.
Even if I say, "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
The first thing I said to her when I saw her was "Jude, it's going to be ok." She just looked away. The first thing I said to myself when I saw her was "How the hell did I let this happen to her?"
She overdosed. My life-long best friend overdosed. Not only did she overdose, but she'd been clinically depressed for months. When they found her in her apartment, they also found a generous stash of cocaine.
All the while, I sat in my 400 Italian leather chair in front of my imported hardwood desk in my Gucci suit. It was actually because of Jude that I had a lot of this money. Her star power had brought a lot of offers to the label. And I sat blissfully unaware of her condition.
Or was it blissfully ignorant?
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late, it's never too late
Not anymore. She's going to turn this around. But I don't know what to say to expose the fighter I know is inside of her.
The world we knew won't come back
The time we've lost, can't get back
The life we had won't be ours again
I'm not naïve. I know things aren't going to magically go back to how they were. She's not going to miraculously sit up in her hospital bed, open her eyes and have them full of life and curiosity. These last couple of years happened, and I can't snap my fingers and erase them. She's not going to revert to the superstar with unmatched passion right away. But I can't escape the fact that she had barely sung in the last few months.
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong
Just as I was working up the courage to try and figure out what went wrong, the doctor called me outside the room. Not that I was making particularly good progress inside, but I didn't want to leave her alone. I had done that before, and look where that got us.
Even if I say, "It'll be alright"
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
How do I break this to her? It's so much more than just telling her it'll be alright, but I don't know how to say this. But this can save her. It will save her.
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Just keep going, Jude. Keep breathing.
"Jamie…"
I feel my heart break. She sounds so helpless.
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late, it's never too late
"Jude… you're going to be fine. You're going to make it. It's all going to change…"
"Jamie… I'm sorry. I led you on, I wasted your time, and now you're here having to take care of me."
"No, Jude. I'm sorry. I should've helped you, and I'm here because I want to be. I need to know that you're going to be ok."
"Jamie… I don't deserve—"
"Jude. You do. You deserve everything, and you're going to get it back."
God, I sound so cliché right now. I just wish I could will her to want to be ok. To get better. I need to see her smile again, to see the life in her eyes. Should I just tell her? I don't want to just drop a bomb on her…
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
"No. I don't deserve anything I had. I pushed you away, I pushed Sadie away, I pushed Kat away, I pushed my mom away, and I made Tommy leave the fucking country. And now I'm sitting here, a pathetic depressed druggie who ended up in the hospital."
"Jude, I—"
"You can't heal me, Jamie! So stop wasting your time and just let me die alone, like I should."
It's not too late
It's never too late
"Jude, Tommy's here to see you."
Her eyes opened wide. She searched my face for any sign of falsity. Before she could open her mouth, the door opened just an inch.
When blue met blue and the tiniest bit of hope reached her face, I walked out of the hospital room knowing Jude Harrison would be alright.
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