By: Gardie
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and related things. I only enjoy it and write fanfiction.
AN: Read and Review. Once off. I started writing this because I was bored on holiday so it is … strange. Read my other stories: Yami Yame(Pokemon), Red Moon Assassin(Naruto) and Dark Growlithe(Pokemon).
"We're going on a trip! We're going on a trip!" shouted Naruto joyously.
"Shut up dobe," commented Sasuke.
Naruto stuck his tongue out. All the students of Konoha High's eighth grade were going on an excursion to a snake park.
They were taken by two kombis, in the first one was Kakashi, Kurenai, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, in the second kombi was Iruka, Asuma, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, and Shino.
In the first Kakashi was driving and reading a book at the same time, Kurenai was next to him, then Sasuke and Naruto were next to each other and lastly Sakura and Hinata.
"Kakashi," said Kurenai, "Don't you think it's a good idea to keep your eyes on the road?"
"Huh?"
"Please focus on your driving."
"I'm driving already?" asked Kakashi.
Kurenai sweatdropped and Kakashi laughed.
"Don't panic I know what I'm doing," and he grinned much to Kurenai's annoyance.
In the second kombi Iruka was following Kakashi. Asuma had his head stuck out the window and was smoking. It wasn't helping much as the wind was just blowing the smoke right back into the car.
"Can't you put out the cigarette?" coughed Ino.
"It's so troublesome having him as a teacher," said Shikamaru, who had buried his face in the end of Chouji's muffler. Chouji had just pulled the neck bit over his face.
Kiba and Akamaru were hiding in his hoodie and Shino was just sitting there disapproving of the atmosphere.
Asuma blew out some more smoke, which was promptly blown right back into the car.
"I can't believe we're going on a trip. I mean how cool is that?" enthused Naruto, "And we get to see all kinds of animals."
"We're not going to the zoo, idiot," stated Sasuke.
"Yes we are."
"No, we're not."
"Are"
"Not!"
"Are!"
"Not!"
"Kurenai-sensei are we going to the zoo?"
"No, the snake park."
"See," said Sasuke," I told you, stupid head."
"Snake park, zoo it's all the same."
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is!"
"No it's not!"
"Is!"
"Not!"
"So, Hinata," said Sakura, at the back, "Are you excited about the trip."
"I-I guess. Naruto-kun seems e-excited."
Sakura snorted, "He's just loud, look at him ticking Sasuke-kun off."
"N-Naruto's m-much better than S-Sasuke."
"Are you crazy!" squealed Sakura, "What kind of drugs are you on?"
"Sasuke's s-so cold. N-Naruto-kun's caring and s-sweet."
A slight blush appeared on her cheeks as she spoke of her crush.
Sakura crossed her arm and stared out the window.
"Sasuke's better."
"Let's all be happy," said Iruka, This is only a short drive, why don't you people sing to keep yourselves occupied?"
"Okay!" shouted Kiba, "Akamaru and I are accomplished singers."
"A singing dog?" asked Ino doubtfully.
"Watch. Come on, Akamaru! One, two, three. How much is that doggy in the window?"
"Bark! Bark! Bark!"
"He'll ruin my hearing!" yelled Ino, "Shut him up."
"He's part of the song!" insisted Kiba.
"Fine, Shino it's your turn."
"…"
"Sing Shino,"
"…"
"Fine," screamed an exasperated Ino, "You're up, Chouji."
Chouji was busy stuffing his face and didn't answer.
"What's with you people! Oi! Pineapple-head, sing!"
Shikamaru glanced at her before staring out the window, "It's too troublesome. Why don't you sing?"
Ino ignored him, "Fine we won't sing, let's just do whatever."
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at the last comment.
Naruto was now sitting next to Hinata and Sakura was next to Sasuke.
Naruto and Sasuke were mad and weren't talking. Hinata was blushing too hard and generally being shy because she was next to Naruto so she couldn't talk. Sakura had tried to engage Sasuke in some conversation but the Uchiha's glare had shut her up and she was now moping to her self. The only ones talking were Kakashi and Kurenai. Kakashi had put his porn book away but his mind was still clearly on the content.
"So what did you dream about last night?"
"None of your business."
"I'm just trying to make conversation. Was it about me?"
"No."
"Was there a guy in your dream?"
"Just drive."
"Does that mean you're a lesbian?"
"…"
"I read a story about lesbians once. It was a really good book and…"
"Kakashi! Stop talking and drive!"
A snigger was heard in the back.
The two kombis arrived at the Snake Park and everyone got out.
"Okay everyone, come here," called Iruka.
The classes and teachers ambled their way over to Iruka.
"We're going to be led around here by Kabuto. We're just waiting for him now."
The gate leading to the Snake Park opened and a man with long black hair and white skin walked out. He had similar eyes to a snake and making contact with his eyes was unnerving.
"Are you Kabuto?" inquired Iruka.
"No, I'm Orochimaru. Kabuto is busy so I'll be showing you around."
"But I phoned this morning and Kabuto said it would be fine to come."
"Yes, well things have come up."
"What things?"
"Things that needed his urgent attention."
He glared at Iruka and the teacher edged away slightly.
The Snake Park was a network of underground tunnels leading past windows showing the inside of cages of various snakes.
Orochimaru led them along, talking softly about the snakes and stroking the glass lovingly. The way he moved his tongue was the most disturbing, waving it around the air and licking his lips.
"Who can tell me what this snake is?" asked Orochimaru.
Sasuke put up his hand, "It's a cobra."
"That's right. Well done…"
"Sasuke Uchiha."
"Well done, Sasuke. Most impressive. Now who can tell me what's unique about cobras?"
"They can flatten their ribs to make a hood," answered Sasuke.
"Correct!"
Orochimaru pulled Sasuke against him, "But can you tell me his name?"
Sasuke moved his head away from Orochimaru's tongue and answered, "Tulip."
Orochimaru practically squeezed him to death.
"You're right! You're the greatest! A true genius! How'd you like to work for me?"
Sasuke pulled away and straightened his clothes.
"No thanks."
"Hey! How did he know that! You whispered it in his ear!" shouted Naruto, "You're cheating!"
"It's written on the cage, just read it."
"Oh."
"You called the snake Tulip?" asked Kiba, "Isn't that a girl's name?"
"I'll call my snake whatever 'I want. You can also call my snake whatever you want," he added to Sasuke.
Sasuke went to the back of the group to get away from Orochimaru but he was then was glomped by Ino.
"Sasuke!" she screeched in his ear, "Come stay with m, I'll protect you from that weird old man." And nuzzled his cheek.
The group was led on by Orochimaru and soon wandered past a window with a curtain draw.
"What's in here?" asked Naruto.
"Nothing," answered Orochimaru, "Let's keep moving."
"I can hear something," said Kiba, "It sounds like yelling. Can you guys here it?"
Shino nodded, "Yes, and it bugs me."
"Maybe it's a ghost," hinted Ino, trying to scare Sakura.
"Ghosts don't exist," remarked Shikamaru.
"Just 'cause you've never seen one doesn't mean they don't."
"Come," snapped Orochimaru.
Everyone followed except for Naruto who was curious. He moved the curtain and gasped.
"…And that's the end of our tour," concluded Orochimaru.
"Thank you," said Iruka, "I'm sure everyone learned something."
Kurenai didn't look too good and was the first to the door only to find it was locked.
"We can't get out," stated Kurenai, a hint of panic in her voice.
"That's because you're not leaving," replied Orochimaru, "Not until Sasuke's body is mine! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Sasuke just stood there in shock until Orochimaru lunged for him, crazy eyes shining and his tongue lolling put the side of his mouth. Sasuke dodged and Orochimaru crashed into
Sakura.
"Sasuke-kun's mine!" yelled the pink-haired girl and she started beating Orochimaru with the nearest object, a plushy snake.
Sasuke fled the room and was chased by Orochimaru, who was chased by Sakura and Ino, who were followed by the teachers, except for Kurenai who had finally broken down and was sitting on the floor, knees clutched to her chest muttering to herself.
"Not the snakes…nice little snakes…Die you wrigley sausages…don't hurt me."
Naruto moved the curtain and saw a silver haired man in glasses desperately wrestling with a python. The man glanced at the window and saw Naruto.
"Help! Behind you! Throw me the axe!" yelled the man desperately.
Naruto glanced behind him and saw an emergency firebox containing an extinguisher and an axe. Naruto broke the glass and took out the axe. He threw it through the glass display window at the man, almost decapitating him. Luckily it didn't and the man grabbed the axe and swung it at the snake. It severed the snake's head and in a spray of red blood it fell to the ground. The man held the bloody axe and climbed through to Naruto. Naruto was up against the wall, very scared of the psycho with the axe.
"I'm Kabuto," said the man, "Thanks for helping me."
"Kabuto? You're the person who was supposed to take my school for the tour."
"Yes, what happened with your school? Are they running loose? It's too dangerous here now."
"It's okay, Orochimaru is with them."
"That's even worse, he just tried to kill me!"
"I thought he was weird," muttered Naruto to himself.
"Follow me, I know a shortcut."
Naruto followed Kabuto through a secret door in the wall. It closed soundlessly behind them.
Sasuke ran in blind terror past the broken window where Naruto had rescued Kabuto. He vaguely wondered what had happened but the thought was rudely pushed out of his mind by fear. Orochimaru was right behind him.
"I'll have your body, Sasuke! It's mine! All mine! Aha! Ha! Ha!"
Ino and Sakura were a short way behind.
"I'll save you, Sasuke-love!" cried Ino.
"Sasuke-love! I'll kill you Ino-pig!" retorted Sakura, "Sasuke is mine!"
The two girls immediately began a catfight over who should save Sasuke. The teachers ran past after that and Iruka stopped to try and break up the fight, leaving only Kakashi and Asuma to save Sasuke.
At the end of the tour was a souvenir shop, it was in here that the rest of the students were hiding fitfully from their teacher.
"That's it!" screamed Kurenai, "I've had it with snakes! Their little forked tongues and scaly skin! You'll never crawl up my vagina!"
The whole class looked at each other in complete confusion, until Shikamaru figured it out.
"She watched Ninja Scroll a few days ago."
"How'd you know that?" asked Kiba, "Have you been stalking Kurenai-sensei?"
Everyone distanced themselves from Shikamaru.
"No, nothing like that I was at the movie rental place at the same time as her."
"What were you getting?" asked Kiba.
"'The formation of clouds'" answered Shikamaru.
"Oh."
Everyone turned when they heard breaking glass and Hinata whimpered. Kurenai was holding a stool and smashing all the displays of snakes. Since it was a snake park there were hundreds of snakes, every object in the store was somehow snake-like.
"Orochimaru used to look after the snakes for me," explained Kabuto, "But then he became obsessed with them. He learnt to speak to them and did all sorts of weird things. This morning I decided to fire him but he was stronger than me and threw me to that python. I was lucky you saved me, I was running out of strength."
"He also seemed interested in Sasuke," said Naruto, "Sasuke answered the questions about snakes correctly and Orochimaru was hugging him and everything."
"That's a problem, we need to get to Sasuke before Orochimaru can."
Kakashi and Asuma had caught up to Orochimaru.
"Leave our student alone!" shouted Asuma.
"He'll become mine!" promised Orochimaru, "and there's nothing you can do about it!"
He reached into his pockets and threw a copy of Icha Icha paradise and a packet of expensive cigarettes. Kakashi and Asuma immediately forgot about Sasuke and instead pleasured themselves with their favourite pastimes.
"Die snakes!" yelled Kiba.
"D-die," stuttered Hinata as she smacked two clay figurines together.
The whole class had decided, after Shikamaru suggested it, to help Kurenai and therefore bring her back to normal, the whole group was wrecking the shop when a door behind the counter opened and Kabuto and Naruto stepped out.
"What the hell are you doing?" demanded Kabuto angrily.
"We're helping Kurenai trash the store," said Kiba.
"Bark! Bark!"
Akamaru tore a fluffy snake into furry little pieces.
"They're your classmates," said Kabuto to Naruto, "Do something."
Naruto closed his eyes and thought a bit.
"I wear Sasuke's discarded underwear!" he shouted as loud as he could.
Everyone immediately froze and Hinata fainted. Shino caught her.
"Kidding."
"Why are you people trashing my store?" asked Kabuto.
"I can't remember," replied Kurenai, "It's all a blank."
Shikamaru explained the whole thing.
"I see," said Kabuto when it was all over, "But where did Orochimaru go?"
Everyone shrugged and looked around to see if anyone knew.
"Let's go Kabuto-san," said Naruto, "We have to stop him."
"Okay," decided Kabuto, he flung a key at Shikamaru, "This will open the door. Get everyone outside where it's safer and call the police. I'll try to stop Orochimaru. Let's go, Naruto."
Sasuke ran and ran but he made one wrong turn and soon was faced with a dead end. He turned around to face Orochimaru. The crazy man came around the corner and saw Sasuke. He stopped and the two stood still, staring each other down.
"Are you going to come willingly?" asked Orochimaru.
"No," answered Sasuke, "my body is my own."
"That's too bad. The snakes have told me that your body is better than mine is. I will take your body and live with the snakes forever!"
"Bring it on."
Orochimaru smirked, "Just try to beat me."
The two ran at each other. Sasuke jumped into a flying kick aimed at Orochimaru's chest. Orochimaru sidestepped and drove his elbow into Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke fell down but immediately spun on his back to kick Orochimaru off his feet. Orochimaru jumped but Sasuke still hit him in the ankles and he crashed to the ground. The two then grappled and Sasuke found that although his opponent was old he was incredibly strong. Orochimaru grabbed Sasuke's head and forced it into the ground. A cut opened on Sasuke's forehead and blood dripped to the ground in small crimson droplets. Sasuke's eyes closed and he became unconscious. Orochimaru climbed to his feet, slung Sasuke over his shoulder and walked off to his hideaway.
Kabuto and Naruto ran along the path that they believed Orochimaru and Sasuke had followed. They knew they were on the right path when they found Sakura and Ino. They sent them back to the kombis and continued until they found Asuma and Kakashi. They sent them back as well and eventually reached the dead end where Sasuke had been knocked out. They saw the blood stains on the ground and Kabuto knew Sasuke had been taken.
"How do you know that Sasuke didn't win?" asked Naruto.
"Orochimaru's body isn't here. If Sasuke won he would have left Orochimaru."
"Maybe they ran away again."
"Is Sasuke one who runs away from challenges?"
"No."
"Exactly, we still need to find them."
Kabuto led Naruto to Orochimaru's room to see if it would hold a clue to where Orochimaru had taken Sasuke. Inside were piles of paper, pictures of snakes and a shelf with jars and bottles filled with pickled snakes and various skeletons. Naruto decided it was too creepy to go inside.
"Let's see if I can find anything," said Kabuto and he began looking through the papers on the desk.
"What makes you think you'll find anything useful?"
"I don't know where Orochimaru has gone and this is the only place where there might be a clue. We might not find anything but it's better than sitting around doing nothing."
Kabuto pulled a piece of paper off the desk and held it in the air.
"Here!"
"What's that?"
Kabuto held it so Naruto could see it. It was a map of the Snake Park, showing all the secret tunnels.
"Incredible," whispered Kabuto in awe, "I wonder what this building was made for, I never knew there were so many secret tunnels! I didn't know about half of these."
"But where is Orochimaru? He could be in any tunnel."
"But I bet he's over here."
"Why?"
"It's the only tunnel that leads to a room."
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's save Sasuke!"
Kabuto and Naruto entered the secret tunnel behind a moving cupboard. They followed it through the cold walls until they reached a closed metal door. Kabuto pushed it and it was unlocked. He was still clutching the axe, in case he needed it and Naruto was holding the map. Inside Orochimaru was gagged and tied to a rack. Sasuke was standing over him, looking smug.
"Are you all right, Sasuke?" asked Naruto.
"What happened?" inquired Kabuto.
"Of course I'm fine," snapped Sasuke, "When this pile of trash took me here I regained consciousness. It was easy to overpower him and tie him up. I knew people would come searching for me."
Kabuto reached for a jar of some powder on a shelf.
"Kabuto! Don't touch that."
"Why?"
"W-we don't know what it could do. Let's be safe."
Kabuto nodded and moved his hand away.
"He's got a snake!" cried Sasuke, pointing frantically at Orochimaru.
Naruto and Kabuto turned to see a cobra slithering through Orochimaru's hands. Kabuto threw the axe and Naruto grabbed the jar Kabuto had almost touched and chucked it at the snake. The axe cut Orochimaru's neck and crimson fluid sprayed out of his severed vein for an instant before Naruto's jar hit. It exploded on impact and Orochimaru and the snake were burnt to ash in an immense fireball. Sasuke expelled his breath in a rush of air.
"Thank goodness that's finally over."
Naruto agreed completely.
When the police came they arrested both Kabuto and Naruto for murder and cruelty to animals. Naruto was let out because he was a minor but Kabuto was given a life sentence with bail only after fifty years. Kurenai completely got over her fear of snakes and the rest of the grade was pretty much okay. Sasuke did though surprising everyone by dropping out of school and dedicating his life to snakes.
The End