DISCLAIMER! I do NOT own The Underland Chronicles, and I do not think I am Suzanne Collins, because Suzanne Collins has better things to do than write silly fanfics about her books, OK? WHY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT AUTHORS HAVE WAAAY BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN WRITE FANFICS OF THEIR OWN BOOKS, AND I HAVE WAAAY BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN WRITE DISCLAIMERS THAT SHOULD BE OBSOLETE! Please enjoy the fanfic, and do not take my ranting personally.

UNDERLAND'S GOT TALENT

"Hello, all," said Vikus as he sat down at the judge's panel.

"Greetings," boomed Mareth. He sat down next to Vikus. Solovet arrived and glared at Vikus before she sat down. After snarling at Mareth, she began caressing her sword.

"Now, tonight we will-" Vikus glanced at Solovet. "Solovet, don't do that! Ahem. Anyways, today we will be judging the auditions for Underland's Got Talent!" The torches blasted on, illuminating a large stage. Above the stage were three oil lamps. If a judge got tired of the act, he or she would pull a lever near their seat, making the lamp drop and shatter on the stage.

"Our first audition today will be...RIPRED!" declared Mareth. Ripred skulked in.

"Evening, all," he drawled. Casually slumping against the wall, he began gnawing on a skull. He gnawed on the skull. He gnawed some more. He continued to gnaw. For ten minutes, everyone gazed at Ripred, who was still gnawing.

"Do you have an act?" snapped Solovet. Ripred smirked.

"Do I? Maybe I do, and maybe I don't," sang Ripred, obviously enjoying the dark pink shade of Solovet's face. Solovet rose, unsheathed her sword, and was immediately knocked out by a rat's tail. Mareth and Vikus gasped and turned. While they had been gazing at Ripred, Lapblood and Mange sneaked down behind the judges' chairs. Mareth and Vikus were quickly put out of commission.

"Can I come out now?" asked a sulky voice from backstage.

"If you must," said Ripred. The Bane crawled out onto the stage.

"Mwa ha ha ha!" laughed Ripred, "It's a Gnawer TAKEOVER! The new judges are...me, myself, and moi."

"What about me?" asked Bane.

"You, my little Pearliegirlie," he sneered, standing on his hind legs to pat Bane's head, "will be my very special helper."

"Yaaay!" cried the Bane in delight, "I'm helping, I'm helping!" he sang. Ripred rolled his eyes, then laid down across all three judge chairs.