Okay this is how I perceive Twilight.
Twilight:
I don't want to live in Florida and be happy! I want to have a stupid reason to sulk! PITY ME!
"Bella I'm a monster, don't look at me,"
"OMG! YOU SPARKLE LIKE A FAIRY! THAT IS SOOOOOO SEXY! BITE ME!"
New Moon:
"OMG, I am such a clutz! I just got a paperclip on wrapping paper! How is that even possible?"
"Bella, I'm leaving you here in this forest. I don't love you anymore so I'm leaving in this forest. To die. Bye,"
"Bella, it's your father-"
"ANGST! ANGST!"
"But Bella, it's Christmas,"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggssss ssssssssssssssssssssssttttttttttttt,"
"No, don't kill yourself, Edward! Your the stalker who watches me in my sleep and promotes unhealthy and abusive relationships to women everywhere while I take feminism back like fifty years or so! I love you! Bite meeeeeeeeeee!"
"I love you too,"
Eclipse:
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Who do I choose? My abusive boyfriend or the kid who has a small crush on me and I know well one day leave me after he imprints and becomes a pedophile!"
Breaking Dawn:
I'M HAVING A BABY THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST BECAUSE EDWARD CAN'T GET AN ERECTION!
"Dude, can I fuck your the minute old infant?!"
Hurry we must prepare for battle!
"We're a bunch of cowards and wimps, can we talk it out?"
Let's live happily ever after for all eternity!
Okay, this is my interpretation of twilight. Flames are welcome and encouraged. Like it? Tell all those Twitards that by reviewing this story thingy.