So maybe that was just how she thought the world worked.
As in,
"Nothing REALLY matters."
and
"Emotions are useless. We don't need them."
I for one chose to ignore her.
As in,
"There ARE things that DO matter, Bex."
and
"We do need emotions. They express us, Bex."
She never listened.
Not like anyone expected her to. Bex was her OWN person in her OWN world that didn't need anyONE, or anyTHING:
Just herself.
She didn't need me.
Or maybe she did.
Need me, that is.
Maybe she did need me.
..
Bex is British. REALLY British. British like using 'bloody' and 'crumpets' and all those other British sounding words a lot.
Her dad is scary. So is her mother. They threatened me when we first met. Zach claimed that he once heard me screaming in the night and was mumbling... and stuff about them.
But who believes Zach? About anything?
Absolutely no one.
Except maybe Cammie. But duh. they're dating.
..
I met Bex a whole lot like Zach met Cammie. Basically. you could just take their story and switch their names with Bex's and mine, change a couple of words, and it'll be all perfect.
I was tailing her in D.C.
"Hey there. You're cute. We should go out sometime," was what I said verbatim. She bit her lip and winked. "Maybe we should," she said in her American accent- which is nowhere near as amazing as her British one is.
"What's your name?"
"Bex."
"And is that short for something?"
"Rebecca. But if you call me that I will kill you."
"Okay."
"Baxter."
"What?"
"Last name. Baxter. Now your turn."
"Grant."
"Grant what?"
"Grant the hottest guy on the face of this planet that you're incredibly lucky to be talking to because I can see those five girls behind us checking me out and shooting you death glares because in short I'm sexy Newman."
It was her first eye roll towards me.
"May I ask you where you're going?"
"I'm going somewhere."
"And where is that somewhere?"
"Somewhere you don't need to know about."
"Are you sure? Don't you need... I don't know, your mom or little sister or something?"
That was when she first glared at me.
And hit me.
But it was worth it.
I had officially met Rebecca Baxter.
And I had made her late for her meeting.
..
Bex came to me when Cammie disappeared. I was staying in an apartment in Boston.
"Grant... She's gone. She's... She's gone."
And she fell into my arms. It was the first time I had seen Rebecca "Bex" Baxter cry.
..
Bex is scary.
But I think that's because she has too many things to be scared OF.
Both her parents are spies.
So she never knows if they'll be home... or alive.
She's scared of spiders, too.
And spiders are EVERYWHERE in Roseville.
That might be why she needs me.
She needs me to protect her.
Sure, from the spiders and all.
And she also needs me to love her.
She needs me to love her so that she knows that she's not alone in the world and that she has someone like her dad there by her side.
In a way, I added more fear to her life.
Because she also worries about me not coming home from missions.
And ever since she gave birth, she's been worried for the safety of Madeline and Max.
..
She almost killed me when she went into labor.
She was screaming and yelling horrible things at me.
Which I forgave her for.
Bex gave birth to identical twins that day.
Madeline and Max.
Madeline Newman and Max Newman.
Bex Newman, wife of Grant Newman and mother of Madeline and Max Newman.
..
She loves them just as much as she loves me.
And she's scared of what happened to Cammie's dad... She's scared it might happen to her dad or me.
Every time before I leave for a mission, I tell all three of them I love them.
Because I never know if I'm going to come back.
But what I do know is that I love Rebecca "Bex" Baxter Newman.
And she loves me.
And that's all we need.
..
So maybe that was just how she thought the world worked.
As in,
"Everything matters."
and
"Emotions are expressions. We need them."
I for one chose to believe her.
As in,
"Yes. Everything matters, Bex."
and
"Yes. Emotions are expressions. We do need them, Bex."
She listened.
Bex was her OWN person in her OWN world that didn't need anyONE, or anyTHING:
Just herself.
And me.
And even if she never admitted it-
She needed me.
She did need me.