Sakulicious!

By lianneharmony

---

Disclaimer

I do not own any characters presently linked with Cardcaptor Sakura at the moment. Everything else you see here is a figment of my imagination.

---

Summary

Hmm, when everyone's partying, and someone asks Sakura to sing, everyone's going to get a shock – literally. A parody of the song Fergalicious. Expect insanity, laughter, and OOCness!

---

Party hard, everyone said. Today's the day that you graduate from high school. Enjoy your last moments.

Well, did everyone listen to that sound piece of advice?

It seems like they had, as Sakura was yelling goodbye to her father and brother as a zippy red convertible sped her off to yet another party.

---

"I'm kind of wishing that I didn't allow that kaijuu to go off partying," Touya said to his best friend, Yukito as they sneaked around one of the houses.

"Then, why did you let her go?"

"You think I had anything to do with letting her go out?" Touya glared at his best friend. "I told otou-san that she'd be going out over my dead body."

"But she's out, and you're not dead," Yukito pointed out, earning another glare from Touya that gave him the shivers.

"That wasn't funny, you know," Touya snapped. "Here, look, I think this is the place. It's some person's house; I think it's that gaki Li's. But no, he lives in another neighbourhood. God, how loud can the music be? It's –" Touya abruptly stopped speaking.

"He's not a gaki, Touya-san, and don't you think Sakura-chan's old enough to - Touya-san, what is it?"

Yukito followed Touya' gaze.

His jaw dropped.

---

Inside, the music was blaring. "Okay, Sakura-chan, are you ready?" Meiling asked, from inside the designated 'changing room'.

Sakura sweatdropped. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because you're the only girl who hasn't danced," Tomoyo's voice came. She was holding a videotape. "Oh, kami-sama, I'm so lucky! I get to video-tape my beloved Sakura-chan dancing in my special creations!" She gave an excited shriek.

And Sakura sweatdropped again.

"Sakura-chan, I just wanted to –" Syaoran entered the room, and saw Sakura. His jaw dropped and he ran away immediately.

"What was it, Syao-kun?" Sakura asked, but he had run out of view. "Wonder what he was so worried about."

Meiling smirked. "Did you see what Tomoyo put on you?"

Sakura gasped.

"Now, you're going to go out there and dance to a raunchy song, otherwise –"

Sakura gulped and stepped out.

---

"I'm going to kill her," Touya muttered as he saw his baby sister in such – clothes.

---

Four, tres, two, uno

Shoot, Sakura thought. What the hell am I going to do? She stood like an idiot as the song started.

"Dance!" Meiling hissed. "Or else –"

Sakura began swaying her hips a little.

-Boys-
Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious

"Sakura-chan, make it more believable!" The girls cried. Sakura opened her mouth to sing:


Verse 1 - Sakura
Sakulicious, definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
you could see me, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons

"Nice," Yamazaki yelled, only to be hammered by Chiharu. Sakura ignored him. She was like jelly inside.

"Shake that ass, Kinomoto-san!" Someone from her class yelled, and then groaned in pain. She knew who did that. It was so – Syaoran.


Sakulicious (Sakulicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)

The boys swooned as she imitated blowing kisses to them. Syaoran was pale (with shock? Horror?).

Tomoyo was simply excitedly video-taping her. "Go Saku-chan!"


That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

-Everyone-
So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Sakulicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

-Sakura-
Sakulicious def-, Sakulicious def-, Sakulicious def- def fading echo
Sakulicious definition make them boys go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Sakura (Hey Sakura all the boys went, and she waved at them)
I'm the S to the A, K, U the R the A
And can't no other lady put it down like me

I'm Sakulicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)

Sakura pointed at Syaoran, and he went rigid.

I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

Meiling snickered. "I think that kind of content and dress code is a little too revealing for Syaoran-kun's taste."

"Are you kidding?" Tomoyo whispered back. "He's enjoying every minute of it."

Meiling clicked her tongue. "Of course he is. I just mean that, in spite of his – ahem­ – enjoyment (here Tomoyo raised an eyebrow), he feels quite uncomfortable."

"Why, what a hentai."


Everyone
So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Sakulicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

"Is that Sakura-chan?" Yukito asked in disbelief.

Silence.

"Boy, she can dance."

Now Yukito could feel the heat literally steaming out of Touya's face.

"Yuki, just because you're my best friend, does not mean that you're safe if you so much as –"

Yukito gulped.


Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty, I'll be laced with lacey
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

"Sing along guys!" Meiling yelled. Sakura sweatdropped a bit, kind of ironic, given the situation.

-Boys-
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Saku!

-Rap - Sakura-
All the time I turn around always brother's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my
(uuhh)
I just wanna say it now I ain't trying to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man
And I know I'm coming off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele
Cuz' they say she

I can't believe I'm actually doing this, Sakura thought, as she danced around.

I can't believe she's actually doing this, Syaoran thought, as he gulped at – evil, somewhat perverted thoughts – No, shut up, stupid perverted alter-ego Syaoran, he kept on telling himself

But you know, the forces of darkness can be pretty strong. So while Syaoran was going on with this internal battle –

I can't believe how kawaii Sakura-chan is! Tomoyo thought.

I can't believe Syaoran-kun hasn't made a move on Sakura-chan yet, Meiling thought. He's too gentlemanly for his own good. If only –

(Syaoran in soft focus)

Ah, he'd make such a wonderful husband! Too bad we're not together.

(Meiling bursts into tears)

Tomoyo stared at Meiling. "Oh Meiling-chan," she said, fully aware of the cause of Meiling's tears.


-Hook 3-
Delicious (So delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious (violent hip shake from Sakura)
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

"I think that that's enough," Touya muttered.

Oh oh, Yukito thought. He's going to –


-Chorus-
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Sakulicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty

"Sakura-chan, that's enough!" Touya shouted, whilst the crowd of people – all seven years younger than him – stared.

Sakura stared at him, shocked.

Sweatdrop.


It's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Sakulicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (aye, aye, aye, aye)

Once Touya managed to drag off his sister, he began giving her the third degree and elder brother lecture.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"I – I don't know?" Sakura said nervously, whilst Yukito stared at the poor girl.

"Don't lie, did that gaki set you up to this?"

"Syaoran-kun had nothing to do with this! Leave him out of this!"

That did not pacify Touya. He stormed out, across a room of bewildered teenagers to grab Syaoran by his shirt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, making Sakura going up like that?"

"I – I –" Syaoran blushed.

"Hah! I knew it, you meant for Sakura to prance around like that to satisfy your libido!"

"What?" Syaoran was taken aback. "I certainly did not!"

"Don't lie!"

This turned into a fist-fight, with Yukito and Sakura running over and trying to pacify both of them. It didn't help that the others, who were previously dancing and wolf-whistling began chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight –"

Whilst this was happening, Tomoyo whispered to Meiling, "I think we should help."

It was to no avail. The crowd was wild over a fight.

"I can't believe my sister would go for a hentai like you!"

"What the hell? If I was a hentai I'd be singing along to the song like this –

T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)

Exactly like that, okay? Get off my back!"

"Oh dear," Tomoyo slapped her forehead as she heard Syaoran's outburst. "That's done it."

But Sakura intervened before Touya threw another punch. "Onii-chan, I wasn't the only one. If you came earlier," she blushed and whispered something in her brother's ear, causing him to turn red.

"Seriously?"

Sakura nodded.

"This doesn't allow you to do it either, you know?" Touya growled, although he was still red.

"But –"

"Either you come home, or you stay and promise you won't do that again."

Sakura sighed. "Okay."

Meiling managed to hear that part of the conversation and sighed. "I guess there's going to be no party."

She and Tomoyo hung their heads in disappointment.

---

Syaoran sighed as he narrowly escaped death by Touya's hands. He put his hands on his head in frustration. Come on, Touya was his girlfriend's brother. Shouldn't they be getting along?

"Sorry about Touya," he heard Sakura's voice at his shoulder. "Now that that's over, why don't we walk around the garden for a just a while? To cool down, you know, after all that excitement." She smiled warmly.

Syaoran nodded in assent, realizing she still hadn't changed her outfit –

Oh no.


T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the...

---

Author's Note:

(Laughs) Okay, this was purely nonsense, but funny nonsense in a way, no? Okay, maybe it was lame, but still…

Read and review! Hope you guys enjoy!

Whoa! Nearly 11 pages of nonsense and parody-stuff! Maybe if you guys review I'll write a sequel.

After all, when the party's over, we'll still have –

You figure it out.