Wiggin Out
By means of 'Comedy'
Chapter 1: Mental Health Day
Mokuba sighed as he watched his older brother get his nails done. Not only was this humiliating, but it was just wrong... on many levels. And by wrong, he meant disturbing. Older brothers weren't supposed to sit and chat while some lady does his nails.
Perhaps one of the most disturbing things of all was that Mokuba had suggested it.
Seto, I think you need to take a mental health day, he had said - and at the time, it really had seemed like a good idea. Mokuba's older brother had looked horrible from days full of obsessive-dueling experiences and sleepless nights - whether these nights were spent thinking about a certain 'J.W.' was not really significant.
However, as much as Mokuba was concerned for his brother, taking a 'mental health day' only made it (it being his current condition) worse. Seto seemed to be a much more reduced form of his usual self when he sat crosslegged and asked for 'planetary purple' colored nails.
"Big brother..."
Seto casually looked over. "Hmmm? Mokuba?"
Mokuba looked at the floor. Eye contact at a moment like this was just a bit too much for the adolecent. "When will you be done?"
"I don't know... What do you think, Jan?"
The woman doing his nails looked up in what was supposed to be a face deep in thought. For a second it looked very painful. "Let's see, luv... I should be done in thirty minutes or less... Hey! Why don't you get your eyebrows waxed while you're waiting, Moh-kew-baw!"
Seto nodded. "You should, Mokuba."
"Heh-heh..." The young-Kaiba sweat-dropped. "N-no thanks... I'll pass this time..."
***
Kaiba Seto laughed to himself as he watched his younger brother swiftly leave. He just didn't understand the high life. After all, a young genius CEO such as himself needed to keep his appearance all hoity-toity to the public.
Ah yes, Seto sighed. The public. Even now, as he sat in his chair getting his nails done on his day off, all he could think of was the public. What the public thought of him, what the public thought of his company, what the public would buy, what he should do to make the public buy more, who the public thought was the strongest at Duel Monsters... who the public knew was the strongest... Ah yes. The public.
And a certain 'Joey Wheeler'. That boy had been popping up in his mind a lot more lately, and Kaiba wasn't sure about what he should think about it. Or do about it. After all, every time the boy had 'popped' into his head, it had always created an... unusual reaction in Kaiba. His first thought was almost always 'insignificant puppy'. But... almost immediately afterwards, the thought 'cute insignificant puppy' always made its way into his cerebrum. Seto was also well aware that the 'naked Joey' pictures he had tried to digitally make on his computer tended to speak louder than all other evidence that he had very sexual feelings for Joey. It was, however, practically unthinkable that he should actually confront the boy about his feelings. After all, earlier confrontations with him included various dissings about being weak and useless and a puppy.
Seto giggled. Cute insignificant puppy. Heh-heh. So kawai. Joey... puppy, collar, doghouse, petting, grooming...
The CEO sneezed. Damn, these nail polish fumes. Oh well. It was a necessary evil if he wanted to look *pretty*.
Sighing, Seto looked around the room. Jan was sitting across from him, concentration on his nails. To his right was an older woman getting her nails done... to his left, another male. The walls were typical, Seto thought. They were crowded with posters advertising fake nails and nail polishes. The ceiling wasn't anything special either; the lights were softly humming and there was staining in the corners from leaking water. Feh, Kaiba thought, a snarl finding its way onto his already serious features. How proletariat.
Getting annoyed by his atmosphere, Seto took a large, large intake of breath in an attempt to calm his anger. This had two effects: 1.) It prevented Kaiba was getting angrier and 2.) the suddent and large intake of the fumes from the nail polish made Kaiba pass out.
***
Kaiba blinked.
He was standing on some sort of strange platform in the middle of some black hole; he was surrounded by a consuming blackness that threatened to swallow him hole if he dared step off his little platform.
"Hello...?" Seto yelled into the darkness. After all, a young genius such as Kaiba didn't know fear - only temporarily being alarmed.
After a few seconds of Kaiba's voice echoing (the sound waves were bouncing off the essence of walls), a large blob of light appeared before Kaiba.
The young CEO narrowed his eyes. "Sk..."
The blob seemed to be trying to form a certain shape - of what, Kaiba wasn't sure. And the color... it was so funky! Seto wasn't sure he ahd ever seen that color before in his life.
It then spoke: "Kaiba Seto..."
"Present..."
The blob turned over a bit, revealing another side of it's blobiness and large, yellow eye in the center. "Kaiba..."
"What are you?"
The eye blinked. "I'm a pigment of your imagination..."
"A... pigment?"
"Yesss... Have you ever seen this color before?"
"Er... not really..."
"Hence being a pigment of your imagination..."
"Oh."
"Kaiba..."
Seto blinked. "What do you want?"
The eye blinked again. "The question is, what do you want?"
"Um... let's see... To be the strongest at Duel Monsters, to defeat Yugi... world domination..."
"And about Joey Wheeler?"
Kaiba blinked and looked down. "What about him? He's an insignificant puppy."
"Yes... a cute insignificant puppy..."
Kaiba looked up, surprised. "How... how did you..."
The blob sighed. "Never lie to your subconscious consciously. It just doesn't work."
"I see..."
"Back to Joey... I know you want him... What's stopping you?"
"You shouldn't have to ask that. You are, after all, my subconscious."
"Ah yes... So it is about... that then?"
Kaiba looked at the ground. "Yes. That and a few other things. It would disgust him."
"Maybe... maybe not..."
"What do you mean?"
The blob sighed. "I have to go now, Kaiba, and so do you... Farewell..."
"Wait!"
"Goodbye..."
"WAAAIIIIT...!" (Japanese: "MATE!!")
***
Kaiba slowly opened his eyes and looked about him.
Jan, the lady who had been doing his nails, looked down at him. Yes, down. Damn, Seto thought. He was on the floor.
"Kaiba-san? Are you awake?" Jan was tapping his nose.
WHAT THE HELL! No one taps my nose! "Yes, yes, get your hands off me!"
Quickly standing up and brushing the dust off himself, Kaiba sighed and looked at Jan. "I'm going now."
"But... but, sweety... I haven't done your fifth coat yet!"
Kaiba looked at his fingernails. As much as he wanted that fifth coat, he figured that four would have to be enough for now. Kaiba shrugged. "Regrettably, I don't care."
And with that, he left.
***
It was late at night, and after about six hours on his computer, Kaiba was ready to go to bed.
Walking into his room, Kaiba kicked off his shoes and sat on his bed. Damn, what a wierd day. So much for Mokuba's idea that taking time off would calm him down. (He was quite pleased about his nails, though.)
Sighing, Kaiba's grabbed a handfull of his hair and pulled, removing his wig. (what? You thought his hair was real?)
Kaiba looked at it sadly as he placed it on his wig-holder. This was the reason that Kaiba had always seemed so cruel - he didn't want anyone to get to know him well enough to find out that he had no real hair - on his head or anywhere. It was a birth defect both he and his brother had (aye, Mokuba has fake hair too.).
And yes, this was one of the reasons that his 'pigment of his imagination' was talking about. 'It would disgust him', Kaiba had said. 'Maybe, maybe not.' It had said in return.
Kaiba sighed. He knew he shouldn't listen to hallucinations... but he was afraid he would go insane if he didn't get what he wanted: Joey.
"Oh well," Kaiba said outloud. "It's not as if I can't forget him."
And with that, Kaiba Seto went to sleep... and sleep filled with dreams (some naughty, some not) of Joey Wheeler.
Note: Tehe.
Note to self: 2:d 3:chr 4: op:st