Author's Note: I don't own Futurama. I wish I did, but I don't. And if you don't like Zoidberg, Amy, Fry, "Put Your Head On My Shoulder", Jupiter's moon Europa, or the idea of ZoidbergxAmy fluff, then don't read this. Happy almost-Valentine's Day.
Inside Amy's car in the back seat, Zoidberg was eating away at the contents inside the picnic basket. Fry had invited him on a secluded picnic he was having with Amy so that he would have someone there to help him make the break-up with Amy easier. Well, he was really expecting Leela to come with him, but Leela refused to get involved. Though Zoidberg wasn't being much of a help. "Mmm! I haven't eaten since Tuesday!," he said as he hastilly took out the baskets contents. "Bird eggs!," he shouted as he shoveled them into his mouth. "Animal slices!," he cried as he shoved them is as well. "Dried woven reeds!," he exclaimed and he engulfed the entire basket! (So much for the secluded picnic...) "Okay. All gone. Can I drive?"
"No," said Amy. This was a new car and she didn't want Zoidberg to ruin it. She changed her attention to Fry. "So Fry, what are we doing tomorrow? I got two tickets for the big ape fight."
Fry, who wasn't too thrilled with Amy hanging around him all the time, wasn't in the mood for smooth talk. He wanted this relationship over and fast. "Jeeze!," he said arrogantly. "We're already planning to spend Valentine's Day together! Isn't that enough?!"
Amy was a little surprised at his tone, but she decided to go on anyway. "Okay, sure. What do you wanna do for Valentine's Day?"
Without changing his tone, he answered, "Oh, so all of the sudden we're spending Valentine's Day together?"
Amy looked at Fry with a bit of bewilderment. "But you just said-"
"That's it, Amy! We have to talk! Zoidberg, you drive!"
Zoidberg was thrilled with the idea of driving and gladly accepted the opportunity to do so. "Whoohoo!"
After switching places so that Zoidberg was now in front and Fry and Amy were in the back, Zoidberg decided to let 'er rip and see what this thing could really do. "I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness!," he said excitedly as he quickly changed gears.
Amy screamed! She didn't think that Zoidberg was a speed demon, but Fry didn't pay any attention to what Zoidberg was doing and decided that now was the perfect time to break it to her. "Amy, you know how at first you like chocolate, but then you start to get tired of it because it always wants to hang out with you?"
Amy was a bit confused. "Huh? You don't like chocolate?"
"Look, could chocolate just let me finish?"
While Fry was trying to figure out what to say, Zoidberg was busy acting out one of his various fantasies. This time he was performing his speed racer dream. He pictured himself as one of those speedy racers that he often saw on television like in that one movie where Lindsey Lohan's head was driving against the top racers from across the galaxy in racecar number 5300: Hoggie, an out-of-date yet speedy car made of some of the original parts from Herbie, the old-fashioned Volkswagen beetle from the 20th century. "Vroom vroom!" he said somewhat-childishly. He changed his voice so that it sounded like one of those old-time announcer guys from those old-fashioned races. "And the winner of the big car race is: Hot Rod Zoidberg!" Then he pretended to be a cheering crowd and he cheered himself for his victory.
Fry and Amy listened to Zoidberg during this and got back to their conversation after he was done. 'Come on you idiot! Do it now!,' Fry told himself. "Amy, what I'm trying to say is, I think maybe you and I should stop-" But before he could finish, there was a snapping sound in the front of the car. Zoidberg was toggling with the wheel to see if there were any spare parts on it that looked useless that he could maybe snack on and had somehow pulled the wheel off in the process.
"Uh-oh," he said after realizing his mistake, then he offered Fry the wheel. "Here, you drive."
The car spun out of control and it started hitting various chunks of ice until a giant mountain of ice suddenly appeared before them, and they were headed straight for it! Fry screamed and the car suddenly crashed! Fortunately, Amy and Zoidberg weren't seriously hurt, but Fry was propelled forward. His body crashed through the windshield and the shards of glass cut his skin near his neck so that he was bleeding out, and fast. Amy and Zoidberg quickly got out of the car and looked at Fry's unconcious corpse. Amy was shocked! "Oh my god! Fry! No!," she screamed.
Zoidberg stood looking at his body with wide eyes. He put his head into his claws. "Oh god! What have I done?!"
Amy slapped him. "Don't just stand there! You're a doctor! Do something!"
That slap in the head brought Zoidberg to his senses. He quickly ran over and retrieved Fry's bloody body from the wreck and set him on the ground. He was still breathing, but just barely. He had to act fast to save his life, but how? He would have to surgecally remove his head, but without a jar to keep it in, he would have to have to graft his head onto a live subject. He couldn't attach it to himself due to the fear that the mixture of human or alien blood could cause some sort of unusual mutation in both Fry and himself. No, it had to be a human subject. They had to be somebody nearby. The subject would have to be... Amy.
"Amy!" he shouted. "I need you!"
Amy looked at him with wide eyes. For some reason, despite the fact that she was going out with Fry, she temporarilly forgot the danger Fry's life was in and she blushed. "Zoidberg! I didn't know you liked me like that!"
Zoidberg was a bit shocked with her reaction, and for some reason he felt a little embarrassed. He did have a bit of an on-off crush on her for a while, but he quickly shook it off and shouted, "No! I mean I need you to lie down here-"
"Whoa whoa whoa! You just now admit that you like me and now you want me to-"
"Amy! I mean I need you to lie down here so that I can sew Fry's head onto your shoulder and save his life!"
Amy suddenly remembered the situation Fry was in. "Oh! Well why didn't you say so in the first place?!" She rushed over by his side and laid down so that Zoidberg could get to work on grafting Fry's head to her shoulder.
Zoidberg quickly got to work. First he quickly but carefully cut off Fry's head and separated it from his body. Then he quickly opened up a bit of Amy's arm and started the grafting process almost immediately. In almost no time at all, Zoidberg had managed to successfully put Fry's head onto Amy's left shoulder without killing him in the process. (Something that they were both relieved to know.) Amy looked over at Fry's head and smiled. Her valentine was safe. As he laid there motionless, Amy turned her head toward him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she looked up at Zoidberg. "Thanks a lot for saving him, Dr. Zoidberg. If you weren't here to save Fry, I don't know what I would do! Then again, if you didn't tag along, we probably wouldn't have crashed in the first place, but I digress."
Zoidberg smiled. "It's okay. That's what I'm here for. Dr. John D. Zoidberg: Sometimes gets people into trouble, but always gets them out!" His face was fairly close to hers so that if he leaned in close enough his face and Amy's would be nose to mouthflaps, which made him a bit nerveous. He turned away so that his side was facing her front so Amy wouldn't see his embarrassment. He was still a little shaken with what he said to her earlier and how he made it sound. It wasn't supposed to sound like that, but he couldn't help it. Or could he?
Amy smiled and whispered softly, "Thank you." She leaned in closer to him, closed her eyes, puckered up her lips and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Zoidberg's eyes widened and he looked at her from the corners of his eyes. His cheeks grew slightly pink. "Wh-Why did you do that?," he stuttered in a halfly-dumbfounded matter.
"Well, I had to think of some way to thank you," she said simply. "Happy almost-Valentine's Day, Zoidberg."
Zoidberg turned to face her and smiled. "Happy almost-Valentine's Day, Amy."
The End