A/n: It's been a long time since I wrote bleach. I sort of missed it.
Sharks in Water
X
'Baby there's a shark in the water.
There's something underneath my bed,
Oh please believe I said-'
X
Over the years, Kisuke has gone pretty loco many times.
Yoruichi tolerates this, enjoys it even; because it keeps life interesting and she's not one to cast stones anyway. She's been in the straightjacket before and it sucks, like a lot. And it doesn't help matters much at all.
Sadly, that isn't a metaphor.
This though, this goes far beyond loco and is treading water in the deep end of insanity. The once real-life princess' toes are wiggling over the edge of a diving board and all she knows how to do is canon ball right in after him. She just really doesn't want to.
That one is a metaphor. Sort of.
This wasn't the first time he'd asked her to do something ridiculous and possibly impossible.
Teach Ichigo to be a badass in three days? Sure, no problem.
Try to take on Aizen barehanded? No biggie.
But he wants her to go on a boat? Like, on water? He'd damn well better be high or kidding or Kitty's gonna scratch.
"See, this is what some people, normal people actually," Kisuke stressed, amusement clearly ringing in every word, "Call a vacation." She hates the condescension in his patience.
"We will never be normal. I like it that way actually," she smiles coyly, "It's part of our charm." She really hopes that the way her shirt is slipping just the teeeensiest bit open will distract them. Then they can stay home.
On land.
Where it's safe.
"Nice try Kitten, but you're coming or I'll leak the photos from '89 to the Men's Shinigami League."
"…Which '89?"
"17."
"One piece or two?"