Hello my fair friends. This is Mr. 0-San presenting:

Try not to Blow the Man Down

A Luffy X Nami/Hancock Fanfiction...

I apologize for the wait on "Bandito Chinchilla." But I have decided to work on my next big fic. I hope you enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE: Mother Sea

"Oi...Are you sure you want to do this Luffy?"

"OF COURSE! IT'LL BE AWESOME!"

"...then you light the fuse...I think I'm coming down with a I-can't-exactly-shoot-a-cannon-at-a-crow-sickness..."

"Awwww...Usopp..."

Luffy and Usopp were perched on the top of a large cannon on the side of the ship, arguing with each other about setting the cannon off and scaring a crow. Luffy then huffed and lit the fuse, causing a large eruption in the middle of the ocean. Nami zipped over in an inhumanly fashion and knocked their heads together.

"YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"I t-tried to talk him outta it N-Nami!"

"YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"OW! I just wanted to scare an annoying crow!"

"YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"..."

"YOU NUMBSKULLS!"

"OK! WE GET IT!"

Luffy and Usopp rubbed their heads with angry faces at Nami, who just ignored them. Nami wasn't quite sure what was up with her today; she just wanted to be cranky. Zoro's snoring annoyed her, Chopper's plipping around the ship annoyed her, Sanji and Brook's wooing annoyed her, Franky's excessive tinkering annoyed her, even Robin's page-flipping annoyed her for some odd reason. It was on these days that the crew seemed to avoid her.

"OI! NAMI!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR A LITT-" She stopped when she saw Luffy leaning over the edge of the ship, staring at something. Everyone looked up in unison and crowed around the rail.

"Oooh...it's a message in a bottle!"

"...how clich'e is that?"

"Who cares? Let's open it!" Luffy laughed and stretched his hand toward the bottle and flung it on the ship. Luffy however, miscalculated where the bottle would end up and it went soaring in the air.

"W-w-w-wait Luffy! Maybe we shouldn't open it! W-what if it's booby trapped?!"

The bottle crashed to the deck in many pieces. Zoro chuckled.

"Too late now. Let's go see what it is."

Luffy skipped merrily over to the mystery-bottle while Usopp stood perfectly idle with his mouth open. Then he swallowed and pointed his finger in the sky.

"I KNEW it wasn't booby trapped! I have an all powerful sense for traps and such-"

"Shut up and get over here."

Usopp slinked defeated over to the others, where Nami was holding of a moist piece of paper. Her crankiness was still quite pronounced.

"What'sitsaywhat'sitsaywhat'sitsay?!"

"I'm getting there now kindly shut up! The ink is kinda blotched out..."

Robin put on a pair of glasses, and asked if she could see it. Nami handed it to her and Robin lifted it up to the sun, squinting her eyes.

"It's titled to the Captain." Robin said in surprise. Everyone exclaimed and glanced over at Luffy, who was bouncing in excitement.

"To me?! Read it! What did I get?"

Robin's smile grew wider and wider the more she read it, then she chuckled and read it out loud.

.

"To my beloved Luffy,

I have been missing you so much since the day you left our island.

I hope we gave you enough food! I cannot bear to think that you were without food for a single second! Also *ink blots*

Anyway...I wanted to ask you something important. Elder Nyon says that I have to ask you this, though I don't want to seem selfish. *ink blot* sickness is getting worse, and she believes the only way to help me is for me to visit you sometime very soon. But I don't want to trouble you at all! This was all her idea! *ink blots*

So, only if you are 100% alright with it, there is an island not too far from here where the tribe's medic and I are waiting. We will wait for 3 days, and if you can't come, that's alright with us. I just would love to hear your voice aga *ink blots*

Love,

Pirate Empress Boa Hancock"

.

"AH! Hammock!" Luffy grinned greatly. All the others stared at him in complete shock, especially Sanji.

"T-that Warlord you told us about..."

"She LIKES you?!"

Luffy cocked his head oddly.

"What are you talking about?"

Sanji was pounding the floor in grief and Robin chuckled.

"It's written all over the message Mr. Captain. It's almost funny."

Luffy still was completely confused.

"Eh?"

"How does she act around you?"

Luffy scratched his head thinking.

"Ummmm...Weird...she's always so nice and gives me food...and before I left she asked if I would marry her..."

"WHAAAAT!?" Everyone clinged on Luffy's pant leg.

"PLEASE tell me you said no!"

"How the HELL did YOU attract someone like HER!?"

Zoro was laughing loudly at all the commotion and plopped on the ground, resting his head on his hand.

"Well, seems like he had a hell of a time on that island!"

"...shut up marimo..." Muttered a distraught Sanji.

"Stop sulking you wimp." He muttered back.

Once everyone was assured that Luffy had zero feelings back for Hancock, they all relaxed. Nami was in a daze; Boa Hancock was said to be the most beautiful woman in the world...

"HMMPH! We'll see about that!" She thought to herself snottily. She sighed and began to set a course to the next island.

XXXXXXXXXX

After quite a short time of sailing, a very small and plain island was seen. Luffy was settled on his "Special Seat" while everyone else was waiting by it, with a video and a camera transponder snail. Nami was the only one who sat by herself on the deck, thinking.

"How beautiful WAS she?" She thought. "Was she so beautiful that even someone like Luffy could fall for her?"

The thought made her cringe and...jealous. She hung around Luffy every day! What was so "special" about her anyway? Nami then flinched at her own thoughts.

"Why am I stressing about this? It's not like it effects me in any way."

But it did, for whatever reason. She quirked her eyebrows and waited for them to reach shore.

XXXXXXXXXX

"OI! HAMM- er...HANCOCK! OI! WE'RE HERE! OI!"

Luffy was sprinting around the beach looking for her while everyone was filming from the ship with amusement. Sanji was tied up on the mast for various reasons.

"OI! HANC-" He stopped and his smile widened when he saw the woman emerge from the trees, along with another quite attractive woman with dark green hair who was checking to see if she was alright. All the Strawhat's jaws dropped at the sight of her.

"T-THAT'S HER!?"

"HANCOCK-CHWAAAAN!" Screamed Sanji, who was crying profusely on the mast.

With all the commotion, Nami went to the rail with the others, and was just as surprised. She really WAS beautiful! She coughed and watched curiously with the others.

"Luffy! You really came! Do you need any food?! Ursula, cook up some food for him! Are you alright?!"

Hancock was already chatting to a grinning Luffy, while the medic (apparently named Ursula) was running over with thermometers and other medical supplies.

"Shishishi! I'm alright Hancock! Sanji just cooked some food for me!"

Hancock blushed quite noticeably and whispered to herself. "How many times has that been? That he's said my name? About twelve times? Oh Luffy!"

Luffy began poking her, as she was in a daze.

"Oi? Are you asleep? Oi?"

"Snake Princess-Sama! You shouldn't run away from your medic like that!" Scolded Ursula as she blew an air horn in her ear. Hancock broke out of her daze and looked up at the others on the ship.

"And who might THESE intruders be?!" She spat.

"They're my friends!" Luffy remarked. Hancock then grew pale.

"I'M SORRY LUFFY'S FRIENDS! PLEASE COME DOWN! YOU ARE WELCOME TO STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hello! I'm super Franky!"

"Yohohoho! I'm Brook! Can I see your panties?" (NO! *kicks face*)

"Zoro."

"I'm the great Usopp! D-don't you even THINK about trying anything!" (Shut UP Usopp! *Zoro*)

"Over here! On the mast! I'm Sanji-Kun! You're even more beautiful than they say Hancock-Chwaaaaan!"

"I am Robin. Very nice to meet you."

"I'm Chopper!" (*Hancock glares evilly at his cuteness*)

"And this is Nami!" Luffy motioned toward a fuming Nami. "My navigator!"

Hancock froze at the sight of both Robin and Nami. She slowly turned toward Luffy with a odd expression.

"I...didn't...know...you had...women on your...crew..."

"Aa! They're awesome!"

Hancock faked a laugh. Luffy motioned toward the ship.

"Wanna go in? I can show you the Sunny!"

"Y-yeah! I'd absolutely LOVE to see it!" Hancock gushed. Luffy laughed and led the woman inside.

Everyone else looked at each other with irritated expressions.

"Yep. She likes him alright..."

"Yep. Let's go see if there's anything on the island."

"I'll stay here." Muttered Nami. Everyone cocked their head at her crankiness.

"Oi...are you having one of your cranky-days?" Asked Usopp. Nami glared at him with evil eyes which made him turn back around.

"A-alright! Let's go!"

"Dartboard's staying too, along with Luffy and Hancock, so I think you're plenty protected." Added Zoro before he disappeared into the woods. Soon everyone was gone and Nami sighed.

"Geez, what's up with me today?"

*sticks tongue out* Well, the hardest part is over! The first chapter is ALWAYS the hardest! Hopefully this fic will be satisfactory at the least! I am NOT a Luffy X Hancock shipper myself, (But Luffy X Nami...Hell yeah! :P) but I hope I did ok. You can't really judge a story from the first chapter after all...

Robin: I couldn't have said it better myself!

….how did you get here?