hey everyone this is my first fanficiton so sorry if its not the best :-p this takes place at the legacy but now its from joshs perspective. i don't own any of the characters they all belong to the genius known as Kate Brian. enjoy!
as i walked away from reed and the crowd of drunken partiers swarmed around me, i felt an odd mixture of emotions. one surprisingly enough, was relief. relief because i finally got all i was feeling off my chest and no longer had to hold anything in. like the fact that reed wasn't the same reed anymore. at least not the carefree down to earth reed i fell in love with. its like this presidency has stripped her of her great personality which i guess is just another reason to add to the long list of why i detested billings.
another emotion was obviously, anger. i mean was it really that big a deal to just leave now? in the woods when she said soon, i thought she meant that tonight would be the night. but i guess i didn't make the top of her priority list once she got here. i think that rejection stung the worst. which brings me to my next emotion. hurt. why does she always seem to put billings in front of me? first going to find the legacy invites with Noelle instead of going to my family reunion, and now this? did she really care more about them then she did me? she meant everything to me, but i guess the feeling wasn't mutual.
i felt dizzy suddenly, which might've been because of the heavy bass music and all the bodies jumping up and down. but i think it was the gravity of the situation finally dawning on me. luckily there was an open stool at one of the many self serving bars within seating distance. i sat down with a thump and felt instantly more stable. the assortment of alcohol across the counter caught my eye and i sighed longingly. what i wouldn't give to get a drink right now. it'd be the perfect way to clear my head, or at least numb out some of the pain. but i knew that too much alcohol or other chemicals would totally throw me off and i could have another stoke. i shuddered at the though of the last time that happened. it was about a month ago when Cheyenne Martin drugged me into hooking up with her. that was definitely one of the worst nights of my life, probably ties with when i got falsely arrested for murdering Thomas. and that night was made a million times worse because it was the night i had almost lost reed forever.
then i felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water on my head. what was i doing? i might have just lost reed again but this time i didn't have drugs to blame on it. i had done it all on my own. i thought back to my actions a minute ago and couldn't have been more ashamed of myself. the harsh things i said about billings and how shes become one of them.. that wasn't fair to her at all. cold hard regret seeped all over me. what was wrong with me? why was i being like this, so demanding, so judgmental.
but i knew the reason. her not agreeing to leave just made me snap. it confirmed the suspicions in my head that she didn't care about me or didn't want to be with me as much as she did the billings girls. but suddenly that logic wasn't making sense to me. so what if she wanted to hang out with her friends, she was right, it was her own life. god when did i become one of those creepy possessive boyfriends? i didn't know but one thought kept repeating itself in my head. i had to get reed back. i was fully prepared to beg for forgiveness and grovel at her feet, do what ever it takes. i just had to get her back before its too late.
hey sorry its so short but i promise the next one will be longer and ill update asap. it always bugs me when people take too long updating there stories. so i know i barely gave you guys anything but tell me what you thought. was it good? great? a failed attempt? i would totally appreciate your reviews! thanks for reading!
xoxo
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