"See you when I see you, Soul!" Maka cheerily mused as she left our apartment.
"See-ya." I muttered in reply, tiredly. I love it when she's happy, really I do, but I hate how she's happy over being with Kid.
For the past 3 months, Maka and Kid have been dating. In the beginning, I'd cheered them on. I was happy for them. Hell, I am the one who set them up! But now, since I realised that I'm in love with Maka - as of a month ago - I am finding myself becoming more depressed than happy. I do try to be supportive, by faking smiles and giving them alone time even though I really don't want them to have any at all, but I just get so damn tired of pretending all day long.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I wish I'd never set Maka up with Kid. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she's happy... But I just wish that she was happy with me.
Before Kid and Maka went out, Maka was hopeless at getting his attention. She was persistant, nosy & a pure 'librarian' type of girl. But once I'd interferred, she added a personality to herself. Where she was just a 'librarian', she is now a 'librarian' and the 'stripper'. A 'saint' and a 'sinner'. She became the 'Innocent Tease'. At first, I was all for her and Kid... But now, I'd wished that she was all for me.
It sucks, but I deal with it. Tonight, I was actually planning to go over and stay with Black*Star - maybe even for the weekend. I'd already talked to Maka about it, and she said it was fine. I just didn't wanna be here, if she brings Kid back with her after their date. It's already difficult for me to stomach being with them during the day time - whether it be school or hanging out with the gang - because they're all over each other, therefore I'm taking saftey precautins to not be around them after dark after they're dates. That would be way too much for me to handle.
I grabbed my bag, that was packed with enough of my stuff to last a weekend, and headed out the door as well. I locked the door behind me, and started walking. By the time I'd gotten half way to Black*Stars, my phone made a noise that signalled 'You have a new text message!'. I got my phone out and flipped it open, half surprised that it was from Maka. I opened up the message immediately and started reading without hesitation.
To: EVANS, Soul
From: ALBARN, Maka
Message:
Soul, if you're reading this tonight then please come back home. I need you here. Please. If you don't get this until morning, then just come home as soon as you can. -M.
My eyes widened. I immediately sent Black*Star a message, saying that I'd had to cancel for whatever reason - I wasn't paying attention - and I closed my phone. I shoved it back in my bag and raced back home, as fast as my feet would carry me. If Kid had done something to hurt Maka, I swear to Shinigami that I'd kill him - no matter how long that may take, due to his body being that of a Death God's. Literally.
When I got home, I was huffing and puffing. I kicked the door open, then slammed it shut and dropped my bag down beside it, and ran into the living room. She wasn't there.
"Maka?!" I called, spinning around and ready to bolt in the direction I'd hear her reply in.
"Soul!" I heard Maka's soft voice call out, coming from her bedroom door. No duh, I'm an idiot. Where the hell else would she be?! I mentally berated myself, as I ran to her bedroom door. I kicked it open, thinking that she may be in trouble, but found her on her bed with teary eyes. I scanned the room for possible intruders, but once I'd found none, I went and sat on Maka's bed beside her.
"You ok?" I asked.
"No..." Maka sobbed, falling into my arms, crying. I embraced her hesitantly. I may be in love with the woman, but... Not only can I not stand the thought of her crying, but I also have no idea what to do when she does. Especially when I don't know why she's crying.
"Shh, Maka. It's okay, I'm here. I'm here..." I tried to soothe her, alsoo making my hands rub circles on her back. It always seemed to cheer her up before, so hopefully it'll work this time.
"It's not okay! It's not! I hate this, Soul! I hate it!" She said, getting somewhat repititive.
"What's not okay, and what is it that you hate?" I asked.
"I'm not okay, and I hate myself!" She cried.
"Wha... Why do you hate yourself?" I asked, profusely confused.
"Because I dumped Kid!" She wailed. I froze. She... Did WHAT?!
"You did what?! I thought you liked him?!" I asked, starting to panic. Why was I panicking? Because this was a whole new ball-park for me. If it were Kid who dumped her, then I'd know exactly what to do and say... But since Maka was the once who did the dumping, I have no idea what I should do...
"I do... But he doesn't like me!" She said. That made me pissed off.
"What?!" I yelled, my fists clenching. They itched to hit Kid.
"Wait! Lemme finish!" Maka said, obviously noticing my soul wavelength get slightly violent. I relaxed enough to reserve my judgement for after she finishes talking.
"Continue."
"W-well... It's more that... He doesn't like me, so much as he does the person I've turned into these past few months..." She said. Oh...
"I get it... I think... You're upset because he likes the new you more than he did the old you, right?" I asked, hoping I was right. I felt Maka nod against my chest. I then got confused for a minute. "Wait, the whole purpose of me transforming you into someone you're half not was to make him like you in the first place... What made you change your mind about who he fell for? He still fell for you, just not the whole you... Technically..." I said. God this woman could confuse me sometimes.
"Exactly... He fell for half of me... He fell for half a lie... He fell for who I became, not who I was..." She said. Oh, I see... She felt guilty, and a bit - if I'm not mistaken - used.
"So... You felt guilty and used?" I asked. Maka hit my arm. "Ouch!"
"No! Idiot..." She muttered.
"Then... Why?" I asked.
"Because he didn't love me... He loved an illusion... He loved a person who wasn't real." She said.
"So... You broke up with him... Because you felt that he loved what you were, not who you were...?" I asked, wondering if I was right this time. I hoped so, because I was getting confused.
"Yes... It's not fair on me, nor him. He'd be falling for a lie and I'd be recieving love for being someone who I'm not..." She said. Now, everything clicked. It now made sense.
"Oh, you're wanting him to love you for you, not for what your making yourself out to be."
"Precisely... I hate myself because I let myself become something I'm not... I hate how I had to change in order for someone to love me..." She cried into my chest. I now felt guilty. I shoul'nt have done anything.
"I see... Well then, at least we know one thing..." I said.
"And whats that?" Maka sniffled.
"That Kid likes girls like Liz. And that he obviously didn't deserve you, since you had to change in order to get his attention." I replied. Maka went quiet in my arms for a moment.
"You're right... I shouldn't have to change for someone to like me... I just gotta wait for the right guy to come along." She said, cheering up.
"You really are something, you know that?" I asked, tilting my head and smiling at her gently. I swear I saw Maka's cheeks flare up, but she lowered her head too fast for me to be sure.
"Th-thank you, for cheering me up, Soul." Maka thanked.
"It's fine. Anytime, Maka. I know you do the same for-" I trailed off.
Maka kissed my cheek.
I was frozen, even as she got up and said that she was going to make dinner. My head was too chaotic to care.
She kissed my cheek! She kissed my cheek! She kissed my cheek! My mind kept thinking. Those 4 words kept spinning around in my head, as well as the image of it. They would forever be burned into my heart and memory. After about 5 minutes, I realised that Maka wasn't even in the room anymore and that I'd just been sitting on the bed, lost in my thoughts, whilst she'd been in the kitchen making us dinner.
I scrambled off the bed, and ran into the kitchen. I found Maka at the stove, sipping some broth to see how it tasted, and walked over to her. When Maka noticed my soul wavelength, I was already two inches behind her and had caught her off guard by how close I was. She'd jumped about a foot in the air, knocking my chin with her forehead.
"Ouch!" What was that for?!" I yelled in pain.
"You were standing too close!"
"So? Does that give you an automatic pass to attack me?!"
"Yes! No! Oh, just shut up!"
"What the?! Make up your mind woman! Geez, you're so damn thick-headed!" I said, meaning that she had a hard head, but clearly she thought I'd meant otherwise.
"Me?! I'm thick-headed?! Oh please! You wouldn't know the topic of 'love' if it hit you in the head!" Maka yelled, turning off the stove, so that the dinner wouldn't burn.
"What?! Of course I would! And it just did!" I said, without thinking.
"How did it hit you in the head?! I was speaking hypothetically!" Maka argued.
"It did hit me in the head! You hit me in the head!" I argued back, once again, without thinking.
"That makes no sense! And besides, you wouldn't want to fall in love, even if you did get struck by it! As far as you are concerned, it's all 'I'm Soul Eater! I like girls with big boobs! I like to tease my partner/best friend because she's underdeveloped! I don't wanna fall in love - it's scary!' Must I go on?!" Maka snapped.
"I did get struck by it! And you're right! I didn't wanna fall in love! Yes, it is scary! It's terrifying! Especially when I'm in love with a sadistic bookworm!" I said.
"What the?! You're not making any sense, Soul!"
"I'm making perfect sense! I'm saying that I'm in love with you, you psycho!" Remarkably, I just couldn't seem to stop arguing with her, even though I was now aware of what I was saying. It seems Maka was not aware, however.
"I am not a psycho!" She yelled.
"Oh my god! I just told you that I loved you, and all you heard was 'pyscho'?! You're the definition of neurotic!" I yelled, shocked that that was all she heard.
"No! The definition of 'neurotic' is a person who suffers from anxiety, obessive thoughts, compulsive acts, an-and physical ailment without any objective evidence of-" Maka rambled on until I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Shut up." I said. And Maka actually stopped talking! Great! "Yet again, I just told you I'm in love with you - and you're standing here, giving me a vocabulary list." I told her, not so much yelling at her as I was telling her this with an annoyed tone. I saw her just freeze and stare at me with a blank face. I sighed and looked away, wondering if it was a good idea to just turn in for the night, without dinner. After a while, and right as I was about to walk away, Maka finally spoke.
"You're in love with me..." Maka said, not as a question but as a statement. I looked back at her. She looked at me with questioning eyes. "Why?" I sighed. Honestly, I could name a whole list of reasons why I fell in love with her... But if it were 'how did I become attracted to that list'...
"Beats the shit outta me, but I am." I replied, after a moment. I looked into her beautiful emerald green eyes for a few seconds longer, before looking away and actually taking a few steps to my room, deciding that I'd go without eating tonight.
I didn't get very far though, because all of a sudden I was being spun around to face Maka.
"What're you-" I started, but was silenced by the fact that Maka started kissing me.
Maka is kissing me! She's kissing me! My head cheered, but my body froze again. After a minute or two, I realised I wasn't doing anything. Oh my god, what the hell am I doing?! This isn't the time to be a fucking statue! Move it! Kiss her back, idiot! Be a fucking man, already! I mentally berated myself. After that, I unfroze and kissed her back with a passion unlike any other I've had before. I wrapped my arms around her waist, as hers were around my neck, and dipped her a bit as we kissed.
Our make-out session continued for a while, hearing some music going and thinking it was our imaginations... Until we realised that it was actually Maka's phone ringing.
"Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worse
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know...
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know-"
Maka had broken our kiss to go and answer her phone faster than a hare racing home after being startled. She answered it and from what I could hear, Kid was on the other line.
"Kid, what are you doing calling me? I broke up with you, not even... 3 hours ago!" Maka said. My eyes widened, and I looked at the clock on the oven. Holy crap! Maka and I had been making-out for 2 hours?! Damn... That was one hell of a make-out!
"No, Kid... I can't... I just can't, ok?!... What?!... Don't you dare go dragging Soul into this- he had nothing to do with me breaking up with you! That was all me, Kid!" I heard Maka argue. Oh boy, I'd better not listen... Even if it bothered me that the ass was calling her the same day she broke up with him. I shook my head and walked out the front door, making sure I had my phone and wallet on me.
I walked down to the local park and sat down on a swing, gently pushing myself back and forth. I can still remember the day I realised that I was in love with her... It was her birthday, funny enough... Exactly 2 months ago, now that I think about it... I was just coming home from playing basketball with Black*Star, and saw Maka and Tsubaki dancing about in the lounge room. When I asked what all the excitement was about, she'd merely picked up a bouquet she'd recieved from Kid and danced around some more. I couldn't help but think about how happy she looked, and how beautiful her happy face amoungst roses was... At first I'd thought something was wrong with me, thinking something like that about my partner... But after she'd gone to bed that night, I was plagued with nightmares of her getting married to Kid, being surrounded in roses, and her leaving me behind and saying 'I don't love you, I love Kid. Goodbye, Soul.' When I'd woken up, I realised just how much that dream bothered me, and through that, I realised how I'd felt about Maka... Although, if she chooses to get back with Kid then I'll understand... I mean, he can financially look after her, he dresses smart, he is smart, he's a meister, he looks normal - unlike me, a shark-toothed 'albino' with tan skin - and he's the most 'gentlemanly' guy we have in the Spartoi.
In short: Kid is everything I'm not.
Plus, I think he can make her more happy than I ever could. Sure, we kissed earlier - and it was the best kiss I'd ever had - but if she wants to pretend it never happened, then I shall oblige. I will not bring it up, nor will I make her remember it. I will simply keep that memory locked in my heart and only bring it out when I am dreaming. That also includes my confession, as well. No matter what, I love her... So I will obey and respect her wishes, should she choose to forget about there ever being an 'us' and focus on Kid. I wont make her choose, I refuse to. I will not risk losing my meister over something as trivial as my feelings. We've worked too hard, and come too far, to let it all go now. I will do what I must to at least have her as my meister, and hopefully still be her best friend.
I sat there, on the swing and lost in thought for a long time, until I heard the sound of rushed footsteps. Kind of like a 'running' sound... It was coming from behind me, so I turned around just in time to see Maka's face close to mine, as she tackled my to the ground and kissed me senseless. After a moment, I gathered myself enough to pull away from her sweet kisses to look her in the eyes.
"Wait, I thought you were going to get back together with Kid? I mean, I was preparing my heart for you to do that, so shouldn't you have done it? I don't understand... Don't you love Kid?" I asked, confused.
"What makes you think I still want Kid?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I mean... You fell for him before, and he's pretty much everything I'm not, so I thought that..." I trailed off.
"You thought that you weren't my type?! Soul, just how messed up in the head are you? Did you not notice the fact that I kissed you back at the apartment? That we'd made-out for 2 hours and it'd only seemed like 20 minutes? That I'm now here with you, and I'm not with Kid at his mansion?" She asked. "Soul, Kid was who I thought I wanted... When in reality, I wanted the opposite of him." Maka declared. My eyes widened.
"Really? You... wanted me?" I asked in shock. Maka giggled and nodded, before pecking me on the lips. "B-but why?"
"Soul, you are my Best Friend... You've been there for me when others turned their back. You'd be the kind of guy who wouldn't ask if I was alright if I tripped over, you'd just laugh and keep on walking and sarcastically asking 'walk much, bookwarm?'" She said, laughing. "You're the kind of guy who'd get himself a detention just to keep me company if I ever got one... You're the kind of guy who will look me in the eye and say 'Ok, now tell me the truth.' after I try and tell you that 'I'm fine' after having a shit day... You're the kind of guy that will be in a jail cell with me, after getting a DUI, and saying 'That was one hell of a party... Let's do it again!'... Soul, you're not the kind of guy who's always polite and tip-toes around everything... You're the kind of guy who would face the Kishin without a care in the world, other than making sure I was safe, if you thought I was in danger. Kid would probably have heart attacks about the Kishin's assymetry, whilst you wouldn't care and just go kick his ass without wasting time." She told me. I realised she was right, having it come out of her mouth. Kid wouldn't do any of that for her...
He'd help her up if she tripped; he'd only wait for her to get out if she'd get a detention; he'd just drop it and not be concerned if she'd told him 'I'm fine' after having the worst day of her life; he'd be the one to pay her bail for jail instead of being in there with her and tell her to never do it again; and he sure as hell would freak out about Asura's assymetry before attacking him, therefore wasting time in getting to Maka...
I would have done everything Maka said I would've done... But Kid sure as hell wouldn't have.
"Soul, you're the one guy whos treats me the way I want to be treated... Even if I didn't realise it at first... I'm glad that you got me and Kid together, Soul... It made me realise that who I really wanted, was you... You are the one who I wanna be with, not Kid. Kid is the polar opposite of you - exactly what I don't want. I want Soul 'Eater' Evans, not Death the Kid." She told me. My heart swelled, and beat like a tribal drum in my chest. I felt my cheeks going the same colour as my eyes.
"Soul?"
"Y-yeah?" I stuttered out.
"I... I love you..." Maka said, leaning down and kissing me. My eyes widened, and my heart beat faster and harder. That was the first time I'd heard her say that - no matter what it was for or what she'd meant by it... And tonight, she'd meant it in the way I'd been dreaming of for the past 1-2 month(s).
Once Maka pulled back for air, I cupped her face and pulled it close to mine again.
"I love you, Maka Albarn. I have for a long time, and I always will." I declared, before kissing her on the lips and not letting her go - except for breathing, I'd just kiss her neck then, but after she'd caught her breath, I'd go right back to kissing her mouth.
After a long time, I stopped kissing her, and told Maka that we should go home since it was late out. Once we did, we kissed each other good night, and went straight to bed.
Completely forgetting about the unfinished dinner until the next morning.