Nyahahaha~ This is basically what happens when I have writers block on all my stories. Which I feel absolutely horrible about, by the way. Well, I hope you guys enjoy this. I absolutely love Gamzee and Tavros. I believe they are my OTP for Homestuck. Though JohnKat and Dave/John are equally close behind. There are just too many amazing pairings in this fandom.
Just a note: If you can't figure it out, they're humans in this. I know, I love the original troll versions too, but. I just. Yeah. Also, as mentioned, Tavros had his legs amputated after a car accident, so he wasn't paralyzed or anything, just extremely mangled up and stuff. So he can still feel... You know ._.
Well anway I won't keep you from reading any longer. Please enjoy. And sorry if this kinda sucks it's only like my third legit lemon ._.
We met at the comic store about a year ago. It wasn't really the best first impression, seeing as he greeted everyone with a 'welcome motherfuckers' and I wasn't a big fan of cursing. He came off pretty creepy at first, and I almost didn't want to come back, but it was the only comic book store in town and I was a die-hard fan.
The second time I went in wasn't much better. In fact, it was worse. He as wearing clown make up and honking a little bicycle horn, and his friend was doing the same. Of course, I was terrified of clowns at the time. I spent that day hiding in the back corner reading a new release of my favorite comic, staying as far away from the workers in their creepy make up as I could.
It was the third visit that changed my mind. There was a little girl crying, and the mother had all but given up on trying to calm her down when Gamzee swooped her into his arms an raised her high above his head, spinning her around gently. The little girl began giggling, and he plopped her onto his shoulders and jogged around the store making airplane sounds. I was wheeling through the figurines when it had happened and stared in awe well after he had set her down and gave her a sucker, saying that she could only have it if she promised to be a good girl and smile. He turned to me and winked before getting back to work.
My appearances at the little comic store became more frequent, and as I continued to show the more I realized that maybe Gamzee wasn't as bad as he seemed. There was a time after a couple of weeks when some boys from my school had shown up and found me reading a game review magazine. They ripped it out of my hands and held it about their heads, making it impossible for me to reach.
Gamzee appeared and I was honestly scared of him all over again just by the look on his face. Moments later he had scared them off and was handing me back my magazine with a sad smile on his face.
"Those motherfuckers bother you a lot?" he asked, taking a seat on a nearby chair.
"Uh, k-kind of." I admitted, embarrassed to do so. In reality, they picked on me almost constantly at school, mostly for how much I stuttered when I spoke, but they used my inability to walk to their advantage. Lots of times they would block off the ramps or mess with the wheels on my chair.
"Hey, well you just let me know when they're dicking around and I'll give those motherfuckers a taste of their own medicine, all right?" he grinned.
"O-okay." I nodded.
"The name's Gamzee. Gamzee Makara." He said, holding out a hand.
"Uh, T-Tavros Nitram." I said, accepting the handshake. I felt my skin prickle when he touched me and sent a shiver up my entire arm. I found myself captivated by him ever since.
The two of us became close friends soon after that. I made trips to the store more frequently and stayed there until closing, not only reading comics anymore so much as sitting near the front, talking to my new found friend. We gradually learned more about each other. Little things, like the fact that we were only a year and a half apart in age, and had many of the same interests (aside from the clowns and cursing). He taught me to be more confident, and I wasn't stammering as much as I used to. I raised my hand in class and my grades were gradually rising to A's and B's instead of C's. in exchange for agreeing to not be so shy, Gamzee agreed that he wouldn't curse as much around me, knowing that it bothered me. We exchanged numbers, and any time something was going wrong in my messed up family all I had to do was send him a message and I found myself swept away into a world where only the two of us existed.
After I graduated high school, I had been saving all of my money and with the help of insurance I was able to afford a pair of prosthetic legs. Even though I was excited to walk again, my mood was dampened when Gamzee had said he wouldn't be able to go with me. However, after a few days of recovery I stumbled my way stiffly into the store and nearly fell over when the four workers, including Gamzee, threw confetti in the air and blew their little horns, cheering. We partied that night, but because of the soreness of my legs and the fact that I was still getting used to them, I sat down most of the time and Gamzee sat right next to me.
He had helped me over those few weeks to get used to my legs. I'd stop by after work and we'd walk up and down the rows of merchandise, Gamzee catching me if I fell or if one of the joints stuck while we talked about little things that held no meaning. I had never had a better friend in my entire life.
"Welcome, Tavbro." Gamzee grinned, sitting up from his previously slumped over position at the checkout counter.
"Hey Gamzee." I smiled, "How's work?"
"Boring as ever." He shrugged. "Any fun stories?"
"Nah, though I heard Karkat finally asked John out." I said while fingering through the magazine rack.
"Hah! Those motherfuckers have been swooning over each other for years. Let me guess, Karkat grabbed him and said 'go out with me, you idiot'?"
"Close." I grinned. "He called him a fuckass."
"Damn, I almost had it."
"Do you have anyone you like, Gamzee?" I asked, curious to know. We had never talked about relationships before, surprisingly, and I wasn't aware if he was seeing anyone or not.
"Hmm wouldn't you like to know?" He grinned, poking me on my nose.
"W-wha- so you do?" I asked, pushing his finger away.
"Did I say that?"
"Gamzee, you're confusing." I sighed, resting my chin in my hands.
He only grinned. "Ask nicely, and maybe I'll tell you."
"Pleeaasseee?" I begged. I wasn't quite sure why it mattered so much – maybe it was because I remembered that spark I felt when he touched me, or how natural it felt to be around him. I almost felt… dare I say, jealous, of anyone who held his heart like that. Though I wasn't quite sure of those feelings at the time.
"Hmm the answer is yes, I do happen to like someone."
"Who is it?"
"One question per day!" he grinned, honking the little horn he seemed to carry with him everywhere.
I sighed, slightly frustrated in myself for wanting to know so bad. Why was it even important? I should have been happy for him, but instead I just felt… strange.
"So, Tav my man, what are you doing this evening?" Gamzee asked, changing the topic completely.
"Uh, I don't know, I was just gonna go home…"
My friend shook his head. "No way, bro! If you're just gonna sit at home, you're chillin' here with me! I'm closing up shop tonight, so we can stay as long as you want."
"What about dinner?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. If there was anything I had learned over the year of knowing Gamzee, it was you didn't ask questions when he planned things.
"Duh, bro, that's what the Chinese place down the street is for." He said, giving me a look that said 'durr, stupid'.
"Right. I guess." I sighed. It wasn't like I had much else to do. Or a say in what was going on, for that matter.
Gamzee and I ran across the street, covering our heads from the rain that had just begun to come down. Thankfully the restaurant was mostly empty, meaning we would get out food quickly so we could hurry back. My legs didn't do well with the weather, so it was mandatory that we got back as soon as possible.
Once we had received our order and made a quick run back to the store, Gamzee locked the door, pulled up and table and too chairs to the middle of the room, and set out food out in front of us.
"Okay, I wasn't expecting a storm tonight." He said, opening his container and taking in a deep breath of his food. There was this strange habit of his that he always had to smell his food before he tasted it, especially when he was trying new things. It was kind of cute, actually.
Wait – cute?
"Yo, Tav? You okay bro?" Gamzee asked, waving a hand in my face.
I had dropped my chopsticks when I caught the words I had thought. Gamzee… cute? What? It was true he wasn't bad looking – far from it, actually – but it was still a surprise. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." I nodded, picking up my utensils and digging into my food. My mind wandered through our memories together and I thought about how far we had come. I never would have imagined that we would be friends, and yet here we were, eating dinner in the center of the store, the best of friends.
The lights flickered and with a loud crack of thunder everything went black. I screamed, mostly startled by the noise than anything, but I was never a fan of the dark anyway. Put storms and that together, and I was close to terrified.
"It's okay, it's okay!" Gamzee said quickly, and I started to panic when I heard his footsteps running through the store. After a lot of rummaging, things toppling over and a string of cursing, I saw some light in the distance. Gamzee came running back with at least four flashlights, some candles, and a pack of matches. I jumped when he placed a hand on my shoulder, but calmed down almost immediately. He shined the flashlight on his face, giving it an eerie glow, and grinned. "Might as well chill, I don't think we're going anywhere for a while."
I let out a shaky sigh. Suddenly my appetite had gone out the window. He handed me a flashlight and began setting candles where nothing was in danger of catching on fire. I took a seat behind the counter clutching at the flashlight for dear life. A loud smack on the counter and Gamzee's face suddenly upside-down in front of me did make me scream. "Gamzee! Don't do that!"
He burst out laughing, jumping over the counter and taking a seat next to me. "Sorry bro, you're just too easy to scare."
I puffed out my cheeks, curling my arms around my knees.
"Aww don't be mad, I was just playing around." He grinned, poking my cheek until the air slowly blew out my mouth.
I waved his hand away, laughing. "You're such a dork."
"No, you're the dork. I'm just easily entertained." He said smugly. Another crack of thunder made my tense up and subconsciously press closer to my friend. Instead of pushing me away, though, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and knocked the side of our heads together.
I felt my face growing red and told myself over and over that he was just doing this to comfort me. After a few good minutes of sitting there, I lightly tapped his arm. "Uh, you can, uh, l-let go now."
"Hmm what if I don't want to?" he said and, as if to prove his point, held on tighter.
"U-uh…" I couldn't form a sentence. I had always known Gamzee as a bit clingy – if not a bit over protective – but he had always let go when I asked him. He seemed… different, now, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The lightning flashed outside, and I braced myself for the thunder that followed shortly after it. I couldn't help myself from curling closer.
"You're cute, you know that?" he grinned.
"G-Gamzee, what's up with you?" I stammered.
"Dunno, what's up with you?"
"Gamzee." I sighed. It was hard to ever see him serious, though that was actually something I actually enjoyed about him. It could be annoying occasionally, but the fact that he was able to change serious things around and make them funny or exciting was something I envied about him.
"Alright, alright." He shrugged, removing himself from around me. I thought that maybe I was free, but as soon as I glanced over at him again my cheek was caught in his hand and he pressed his lips to mine.
I wasn't quite sure how to react. It may be kind of silly, but the first thing that came to my mind was when we had shook hands the first time, and I felt that shock up my arm. It was kind of the same feeling, in a way, though instead of our hands it was our lips… oh god, how embarrassing was that?
It wasn't until after that thought that I realized how insane this was. I started to pull away, ignoring the tug in my stomach and that little voice that was telling it was okay, that this was right. I lifted my hand to push him away, but my plan failed when he simply intertwined out fingers and held our hands against the counter, leaning over me to do so.
That little voice was battling with my conscience, now. It was louder, more confident. It's okay. This was okay. "G-Gamzee-"
"Don't," he hushed in between the short gasps for breath. "Just, please – don't."
I found myself gripping his hand tighter, no longer even bothering to fight back. My mind was a jumbled mess of 'get off of me' and 'please for the love of god don't stop'. The entire timeline of our friendship laid out in front of me, running through at lightening speed. He was always there, always cheering me up with the simplest of methods. Even just him smiling at me would make me feel better if I was having a bad day. I remembered when I had thought – only for a few minutes – that maybe I liked him more than that. I had brushed it off quickly, though, because of how insane the idea sounded.
Maybe it wasn't as farfetched as I thought.
And suddenly, just as my mind cleared, everything stopped.
"Shit – Tav, I'm sorry." Gamzee's voice seemed far off, like he was talking to me from across the room instead of inches from my face. I stared up at him, my lungs burning. "Look, just forget I did that, I wasn't –"
"Gamzee, Gamzee wait." I said quickly, grabbing his arm when he started to stand up. "I- um, I'm not mad."
"You're not?"
I shook my head. "I… well I mean, uh, I wasn't really expecting, um… you to kiss me or anything, but, uh… like, it wasn't… um…" I poked my fingers together, unsure of what exactly I was trying to say. The words were just coming out in a desperate plea for him to stay.
Gamzee smiled softly and crouched in front of me, leaning in close once again. I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and did my best to avoid eye contact, but that didn't work to well and I found myself glancing back at him every few seconds.
A hand plopped on top of my head and ruffled up my mohawk. I let out a surprised yelp and pushed his hand off, making him laugh at my reaction.
"You're seriously the cutest motherfucker I have ever seen." He grinned, kissing the tip of my nose.
I could feel the heat in my face rising with ever passing second. Soon enough my head was going to explode from how much blood was rushing to it.
"So does this mean I can kiss you again?" Gamzee asked, breaking the short silence.
There was no way I was trusting my voice with the answer. So, doing my best to ignore the excited hammering in my chest, I nodded quickly. I wanted to remember that feeling, to experience it and be able to react this time. His hands were placed on top of mine, supporting himself as he moved to a more comfortable position, and leaned in.
Whoever came up with the saying first is the worst, second is the best… obviously did their studying. Though maybe the first wasn't really horrible, just unexpected. The kiss this time was slow for maybe about two seconds before – after making sure it was okay with a gentle nudge of his tongue on my lip – things picked up the pace.
Gamzee pressed closer, but it somehow didn't feel close enough. This was strange, I thought, mostly because any time I had been with a girl (a grand total of two) I always felt like she was getting too close, when she hardly was at all. Hence one of the reasons those relationships didn't really work out, but that's not the point.
I hated oxygen at the moment. I hated that we needed to stop to breathe, I hated that I was letting myself get carried away so easily, yet I hated that we couldn't be closer. I had never been more frustrated in my entire life. It seemed that Gamzee was sharing the frustration. It showed in the way our kisses became rough and frantic, hands moving to nowhere in particular, just to feel more of each other.
I gasped when cool fingertips brushed over my stomach, hesitated, and then slid up my shirt. My stomach clenched, but it wasn't in a bad way. It was like having a whole bunch of butterflies bouncing around in there at once. The freezing tips of his skin on mine sent shivers down my spine. In response to his actions I raised a slightly shaky hand and tangled my fingers into his messy, overgrown hair. I had never noticed how soft it was. My other hand held onto his arm, mostly because I was unsure of what to do with it.
"You know," Gamzee said suddenly, pausing in between kisses. "I've wanted to do this-" another kiss "-for like – a year."
"T-then why… didn't you?" I asked, more shivers attacking my spine as he trailed down to my neck and then licked up to my jaw.
Gamzee let out a breathless chuckle. When he spoke I shivered from the warmth of his breath spreading across my skin. "Didn't wanna loose you."
"I-I've, uh, thought about… us, before." I confessed, eyes widening slightly at the unfamiliar yet pleasant feeling of him biting down, holding the collar of my shirt so he could reach where he wanted. The other hand was making its way higher up my shirt, inch by inch, slowly.
Gamzee simply hummed in response, and somewhere along the way he had shifted so that instead of leaning over me he was somewhat straddling me, though it was only over one leg. Whether intentional or not – though I was sure after replaying the scene in my mind that it was the former – the leg in the center pressed against my groin as he detached his mouth from my neck and made his way slowly back up to my lips, trailing kisses.
The sound that escaped from my mouth was a mix between a startled yelp and a moan, the sudden friction there both foreign and arousing. It was then, I believe, that I decided to throw the little caution I had left to the wind. Whatever it was that he was doing to me, both physically and emotionally, I didn't want it to end.
Pushing past my nerves and embarrassment I closed the distance between our lips hungrily, arching my back only slightly, causing friction between our clothes. Gamzee grinned at that, pressing his knee just that little bit harder.
There was that moan again. My face was bright red, I could feel it, though in those few seconds when I would open my eyes I was surprised to find that Gamzee was flushed as well.
The lights came on with a sudden flick, making me jump and almost hit my head on the counter. Thankfully Gamzee was holding me down just enough that I didn't. He let out a snort, pinching my cheek. "You're such a scaredy cat." He said during our short interference, though we both needed a bit of a breather.
"W-whatever…" I mumbled, scratching the back of my head. So much for the mood… "D-did the storm die down then?"
"Probably. Hey, what do say we get the fuck outta here?" Gamzee said, motioning for the door. "I don't know about you, but my back it killing me under here."
I didn't give myself time to think. I knew that if I did I would have probably backed out, realized how insane this really was. "Y-yeah, lets go before the storm picks up again."
The car ride wasn't awkward as I had firs thought it would be, however, it did give me time to think, which is what I had wanted to avoid in the first place. My mind was swirling with everything that had happened. What exactly did this make Gamzee and I now? Would we just go back to normal after this, or would we be something more? How far would we even go?
How far do you WANT to go?
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a hand on mine. Surprised, I looked down at my hand on the armrest and watched at Gamzee's hand curled around my own, squeezing tightly. Again I was brought back to the past, to all those times when he would comfort me, and the few instances where I was able to comfort him in return. I looked up into his strangely yellow eyes – just like mine – and even though it was only for a second, as he had to keep his eyes on the road, I had my answers. With a smile I leaned back and closed my eyes.
It wasn't hard to pick up where we had left off.
Hand still attached to mine, we rushed up the stairs and he shoved the key into the lock, yanking me inside and dragging me to the bedroom where the door closed and I was pressed against the wall, smothered in kisses. We didn't bother much with messing around this time. After only a few seconds Gamzee was tugging at my shirt, and with a dissatisfied grumble realized that he would have to undo each and every button. We both set to work – me from the collar and him from the bottom – until they were all undone, and I was impressed for maybe a second that we didn't have to break away once to do so.
Shirt tossed carelessly aside, Gamzee pulled me over to his bed and pushed me onto the dark purple comforter, taking a moment to pull his own shirt off before climbing over me.
"You have no idea," he gasped, hands roaming over my chest, nuzzling and kissing my neck, "how fucking long I've wanted to do this."
I let out a breathy chuckle, mind too boggled to form a proper response. All I knew was that most of the blood in my body was rushing south dangerously fast. Maybe it was just me, seeing as I was inexperienced as it was, but it felt different to be aroused depending on the situation. Maybe it was because there was more than simply lust involved compared to anything else.
My breath hitched when I felt his fingers – I don't think I can remember another time besides tonight where they were warm – slide down my stomach to the hem of my jeans and fiddle with the button. I held his face in my hands, pulling him gently away from my neck to kiss him. It was addicting, the way his lips felt on mine. I had never felt anything like it in my entire life. They weren't soft, like girls' lips, but I found that to be something I preferred.
Button undone and zipper down, his hand slid down lower, applying pressure in certain areas as he worked to get my jeans off with only one hand, the other holding himself up as to not crush me. Doing my best to not simply thrust into his hand I wiggled underneath him, both for my own sanity and to help get the article of clothing off as quickly as possible. I was eventually able to kick the jeans off, though I was suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.
I had never been much of a fan of my new legs. Not that I would have rather stayed in a wheelchair my entire life, just… They looked so strange. Like bones without the muscle, only made of metal and plastics, hiding wires that made them respond to my brain to make them move. I had gotten in an accident when I was very young. Due to the severe damage, they had to amputate my legs. I was only seven at the time, and ever since I had slowly receded into the quiet, awkward boy I was.
Until I met Gamzee, that is.
In the snort amount of time I was lost in thoughts – what a horrible time to be thinking about the past – said man was already working off his boxers. The sight made me yelp in surprise and quickly look away. Of course, mine were gone within seconds as well. I tried my best to hide behind myself, despite how childish I told myself I was being. We had gotten this far; I wasn't backing out simply from self-consciousness.
Gamzee placed a hand over mine, pulling it away and revealing my everything. I could feel the heat in my face grow even redder as he chuckled softly. "No need to be shy." He said, but I wasn't allowed time to respond as he pressed his lips against mine. I wasn't quite sure when he had pulled out the clear gel he was applying to his fingers, but he pulled away, resting his forehead on mine. "If you're gonna back out, do it now."
I shook my head, my own silent way of telling him not to stop. Maybe the expression on my face gave it away, or maybe he was just really good at reading me, but he smirked and pecked my nose. "No worries, Tavbro. You're in good hands."
"I know." I mumbled, giving him a weak smile, because even though he said that I was still nervous. Though that was perfectly normal for your first time, right? Of course he could tell I wasn't completely convinced.
With a reassuring smile he kissed my lips, distracting me long enough to position himself correctly and press lightly at my opening with finger. My eyes widened. Okay, that felt weird. I scrunched my nose as his finger pressed in further. So far nothing hurt, but I knew that would change soon. Wrapping my arms around Gamzee's neck I let out a shaky breath.
Soothing words were mumbled in my ear as the second finger was slowly added, the action stinging slightly. I held on tighter but forced myself to relax. I knew it would only be worse if I didn't. The third was when the pain was really evident. There were no more fingers added after that, but the movement felt horrible. I didn't let myself cry out, though; instead I dug my nails into his back and bit my lip, trying my best to listen to his soothing whispers. A couple of minutes (more or less, I wasn't exactly paying attention) were spent getting used to the feeling, and eventually it didn't hurt so much, though it was still uncomfortable. Thankfully Gamzee kept my mind off of things with rough kisses and gentle touches, mumbling things I couldn't really understand under his breath every now and then. They sounded like good things, at least.
"You ready?" he asked, voice quiet despite us being the only ones in the apartment. I nodded, laying my head back on the pillow as we shifted again. Gamzee hovered over me, pausing to look directly in my eyes. There was something in his gaze, something I couldn't quite pinpoint behind the swirl of emotions. The look quickly faded, however, and as he lowered his lips to mine he slowly pressed into me, tightening his grip around my shoulders when I yelped, holding onto him once again.
My eyes squeezed shut as he pressed further. The pain – it was almost unbearable. Somehow, be it the chants of 'I'm sorry' breathed in my ear or the soft caresses or the sweet, gentle kisses, I made it through the beginning.
And then he found it. That spot that made everything better, made me completely forget the pain and see little white stars and let noises escape I didn't know I could even make. Gamzee's face was pressed in between my neck and shoulder, occasionally kissing or biting the spot his lips touched, but for the most part he just stayed there, breath heavy and frantic, as we gradually picked up speed.
I couldn't stand it, though. I needed to see his face, needed him to kiss me again and say those words I thought I had heard but wasn't quite sure. So, with what little self control I had, I gently pulled his face away from its hiding place and opened my eyes once more.
My vision was clouded, and it took most of my strength to keep my eyes from closing, but I could still make out the look on his face. And let me tell you, it made everything at least ten times better. Eyes half closed and glazed over, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and cheeks. There was no silly clown makeup hiding his face, it was just Gamzee. And that was all I wanted.
I never grew tired of those kisses. So needy, almost ravage, as if maybe they held the answer that was always just beyond reach. His hand was shaking as he lowered it down to my erection, stroking and squeezing and doing god knows what else.
I had been embarrassed about the noise, at first, doing my best to bite my lip instead of moan or yell, but every now and then it would slip. When Gamzee noticed, he nudged me with his nose, lips just brushing mine as he spoke. "I want to hear you." He gasped. "Please."
There wasn't enough time to respond before he was ramming in harder, and without my hips restrained and that added pleasure from his hand, I found myself trying just as desperately to go faster, moaning louder. It was then when I realized how much I loved saying his name, and not to mention hearing my own. He hadn't said 'Tav' or 'Tavbro' like he usually did; no, he said my name, in the most arousing, beautiful way I had ever heard it before. So I returned the favor, and became addicted.
It wasn't long before I knew we were both close. The moaning, fingers intertwined, frantic motions, heart racing, immense amount of white in my vision – they all gave it away. And just like that, one final push, and it was over. My back arched, eyes widened, and I called out his name as if I would never be able to say it ever again. And he squeezed my hand until the blood stopped flowing to my fingers, moaning my name as he came with me.
We stayed silent for a few seconds, Gamzee collapsed beside me, both of us gasping for air. He pulled the blankets up around us and rolled onto his side to face me, a big grin plastered on his face. I smiled back, both body and mind completely exhausted.
"Hey." He said.
"Hey."
I raised an eyebrow as he curled up closer, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head not even an inch from mine. "I love you. A whole fucking lot. You know that?"
"Yeah." I smiled, sinking into his warmth and resting my head on his chest and closing my eyes. I could hear his heartbeat, still hammering against his ribs in a rhythm that almost matched mine, chest rising and falling slowly as we both tried to catch our breath. "I love you too."
So yeah. You have no idea how long this took me to write. God I'm so awkward when writing this stuff. Hahaha. Okay time to actually do something productive... or not~