Author's Rant:I just wanted to try AkaKise. Last time, it was more of KiseAka and I think people prefers seme!Akashi?
General Idea: The idea came to me after listening to Not Pretty Enough by Kasey Chambers. Enjoy~! Two-shot.
Full Summary: Teikou!Days. Kise had fallen in love, had broken his heart, had to let go and moved on. But he has fallen in love again, has his heart broken once more, but this time around, he won't lose this love for anything at all.
Warnings: FWA, BWS and OOC moments. Read at your own risk, you have been warned.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the plot. :D
See Right Through
Why do they always see right past him?
Topaz orbs search, wanders, till it finds a pair of blue: one is a shade of cotton candy, the other, of the midnight sky. Kise catches up to them, plasters his cheerful smile that he perfected in a year of modelling.
"Aominecchi! Kurokocchi! Going home?" He asks, completely aware that it is not the case. He knew beforehand that the two were going to hang out after school, maybe somewhere public, but more possibly someplace private, and he can't help intruding. Because he knew they'll be alone together, the more he felt the need to interrupt.
"Kise-kun," the pale boy acknowledged his presence, more openly than anything. Kuroko is nice, persevering and absolutely an adorable creature that Kise respects in his life. A little bit blunt and just a bit stubborn, but he doesn't hate him. Even he wanted to. All because…
"You don't have job today?" Another voice asks, and it reverberates all over his body, right through his soul. He takes in other teen's presence; his dark skin, perfect figure and impeccable basketball sense. Aomine's the guy who took him out of the repeated cycle of his boring life and taught him to pursue. And pursue. And pursue that large back and realize that it was nothing but a futile attempt to have him look back.
"Nope, it got cancelled." He answers, his cheerful mask not falling a bit, even if his thoughts are in a complete mess. He likes the two, he even loves the other, but the twisted feeling call envy had corrupted his mind since and all he could feel for two was utter bitterness.
And still he couldn't hate them.
"Since there's no school tomorrow, why don't we hang out today?" Kise suggested, with the intention of making sure that Aomine and Kuroko wouldn't spend their after school together, in one house, in one bed, and in each other's arms.
"I'm sorry Kise-kun, I already promised to tutor Aomine-kun today." If Kise was such a bastard like Haizaki, he would have called out that obvious lie, a really obvious one, because even if Kuroko didn't let out a spec of emotion, the ace burned from ear to ear that it wasn't even a hassle to know such thing.
"I see," and the blonde had no other options but to let it go. He has above average grades, he couldn't possibly ask to join them and risk his intentions getting found out. "I see, hope you don't have a hard time. Aominecchi could be a pain in the ass when it comes to studying."
He didn't go home. Kise went back to the first gym to practice, and practice, till it was late in attempt to avert his mind to what could possibly be happening in Aomine's place, or Kuroko's, or to wherever they were fucking at.
But it was useless. The more he plays, the more he remembers. And the more he remembers, the more it hurts. It didn't matter if the whole world could fall in love with him, if the person he yearns is unfortunately taken, it was all worthless.
The sound of the gym doors opening break him off his thoughts, and the blonde instinctively put on his cheerful façade. He came upon a small figure, just like the light blue-haired boy he is currently trying to forget, albeit this entity was whole different other.
"…Akashicchi? You're still in school?" Perhaps that was a rather stupid question, deeming that he himself is also still at school. Akashi didn't seem to mind, or care for the question and just strode inside the gym.
"You don't stay this late Ryouta, anything in your mind?" Profound voice inquires, and the way his name came past those lips ran a shiver down his spine.
"I just wanted to practice." He easily explained, not adding the reason why he wanted to practice. Analyzing eyes, one shade of garnet and the other of the same yellow sparkle as his, watched him, as if stripping him of his mask, of his façade, of his lie. The smaller teen approached a ball and picked it up before suddenly throwing it right into Kise's face.
"Didn't I say I hate lies, Ryouta?"
The throw was not hard, but taking a ball right into your face was painful. "But you didn't have to throw it to my face! I'm a model, you know? Besides I'm really practicing!" He complained as he rubbed his nose to ease the pain. What would his manager say if he injured his face?
"I'm talking about the smile."
Kise halted in his step. It was like wearing the best clothes you have and being called ugly for it. When did his perfectly-made mask, developed cracks and openings, that it showed his real feelings? When did it start looking fake?
…No. It's not that his façade had broken but it was the person. It was Akashi Seijuurou. Everyone could be fooled by his smile, but the redhead most likely doesn't really see that smile, but looks beyond one's appearance. Just looks beyond it and sees, and relishes at that fact.
"I understand when you're working but it's getting irritating when you do it at practice."
"Why didn't you call it out?" Call out his fake smiles, his lies, right in front of everyone. And maybe Aomine would realize what he couldn't say out loud.
And Akashi just sighs at him. "It's not for me to decide. Besides…" The blonde noticed how Akashi stopped and stared, as if taking his time in dismantling Kise's guise.
No, he didn't want Akashi to know. He didn't want his captain to unearth the despicable, jealousy-drowned personification of him. He didn't want anyone to know that beyond his thanks is an ungrateful crass. He didn't, yet he waited till someone would. And perhaps, he wanted him to.
"Ryouta, you're crying."
"Eh?" He didn't know, didn't notice, till he felt single bead of tear drop and make trail in his right cheek. He hastily wiped it off, but soon another fell, and another, till it was flowing so much, he didn't know what to do. "No, t-this is…" His knees gave in, he fell weakly to the ground and sobbed into his hands, wondering all the while…
Why did he love Aomine? Why did the ace have to love Kuroko? Why not him? Why, why, and why?
"Pretending to be happy, doesn't make you a happy person." Akashi's words were like arrow hitting right into its mark, and more tears flowed. The smaller boy went to his side and just ruffled his hair, making a mess of his hair. "Keeping your pain inside won't make it go away."
He cried his pain, his love, all of his feelings. The small hand on his head was like a reassuring force; dependable, comforting. "Akashicchi…" He didn't know that being able to let out yourself in front of someone else felt heart-warming.
"Cry it out. I won't settle for anything fake next time."
Kise was thankful to his captain. He made him realize that kept feeling does the heart a burden, and crying out it for almost two days straight made him feel better.
The next week, he came to school with his eyes puffed and red, everyone wondering what happened to him. He was afraid to meet both Aomine and Kuroko, scared that if he does, all the memories of his pain and suffering will come back and tears might fall again on their own.
But it didn't. When Kise met the two, together like always, he smiled at them. Not his usual fake happy smile but a sad yet true smile.
"What happened to you, Kise?" Kise noticed the subtle amount of worry in Aomine's voice and it made him happy. If this was the usual him, he would have felt it lacking, and he'd be longing for more, maybe something much tangible, like a hug or a kiss. But right now, he had accepted those words of concern as more than enough, as he acknowledges that those hugs and kisses are not meant for him but for Kuroko.
"I—" Just before he completes his answer, his eyes caught upon a strikingly familiar red hair, and noticed how a mismatched orbs glanced his way before going at the opposite direction.
"Are you even paying attention here?" Aomine sound irritated and Kise wondered that as well. Before, whenever he talks to Aomine, the boy was the only thing he could focus to. Now, his world is slowly expanding again.
"Sorry, I wasn't."
If there was one thing Kise had been doing for the past few days, it is not mourning or sobbing or anything about his previous one-sided love for Aomine. Yeah, he calls it 'previous' because he finally had the heart to let go. He still likes him, it's a feeling that doesn't go away for a day or two, but he had gotten over the truth that some things are not just meant for him. And the ace was one of them.
So anyway, what preoccupied Kise's time lately was a certain, red-haired teen… Akashi Seijuurou.
Akashi always sees through a person. He knows what they could be, what they need, what they lack, what they crave, what they hide, and much more things in one good look. Akashi could see through almost everyone, from Kise's cheerful façade to Kuroko's indifferent expressions. But he wonders; who sees through the small boy?
He knows the feeling of hiding behind a mask, of not being able to show what you actually feel and how tiring it could be, how stressful it is that no one actually notices. So he wonders, and just wonders, whether or not Akashi had hidden some of his feelings, or maybe the Akashi he sees is just another shell of man, waiting, just patiently waiting to be discovered. Just like how he had waited for Akashi to uncover his hidden feelings, in order to let them go.
And in his thoughts drift further and further from practice to the redhead, who holding a file-board in his hands, who sees him staring and is currently approaching... eh?
"Ryouta, are you done staring? Perhaps you'd like me to add some laps to your menu?"
He laughs nervously, heterochromatic eyes burned at him. "Yeah, I'm done. Please don't add anything anymore to my training." He added cheekily with a smile, and it was quite unexpected that Akashi just stood there, looking back to topaz orbs.
"Um, what is it Akashicchi?" He was sure he hadn't done anything other than getting side-tracked.
"Can you bend down a little, Ryouta?" And he hesitantly complied, not really knowing why but then lithe fingers entangled themselves into blond locks and just ruffled it slightly. "You were pretty submissive before but I like this Ryouta better. Cheeky but honest."
There was nothing else that Kise could have done but blush even after Akashi left his side. This is bad, he thought, and he knew that he'll be regretting that unexplainable heart throb later.
"This is bad," the model said out loud.
Weeks later after his emotional heart break, he had completely recovered. Maybe because he had many other things to work on and some things he had been focusing on without the actual intention of wishing so.
Anyway, he's currently at his work, a photo-shoot for a wristwatch brand. Right now, he's having his break and his make-up I being retouched, and he was just randomly flipping through the pages of a magazine when he came upon a dress coat and immediately thought that it'll look good in Akashi.
And that is bad.
Why would a picture purposely remind him a certain redhead? He knows but doesn't quite want to understand. He tried to hide his blush in his hand, forgetting that his make-up is currently being retouched.
"Kise-san, I'm retouching your— Oh my. Photographer-san!" His artist called out, but he wasn't paying attention to whatever's happening to his environment and all he could think was:
'This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. I couldn't possibly be falling in love again!?'
He didn't want to admit. But he must accept the fact that for the second time in his life he, Kise Ryouta, have fallen in love with a guy. And another difficult individual he must say.
It was practically impossible not to. Akashi helped him let go of Aomine and move on, upped his confidence and healed his broken heart. It would be strange if he didn't develop any special feelings for the small boy. But what he didn't expect was for it to be that special.
Surprisingly, this time around, Kise easily realized it. And this is probably because he had fallen in love already before. He learned that he had some habits, and it was really kind-of hard to break.
Like when finds that unfathomable, ugly emotion called jealousy to temporarily settle in him each time he sees Akashi alone with someone. But unlike before, he is able to freely express his feelings, and at times, he even shows possessiveness over Akashi. Akashi didn't seem to mind this, which made him thankful at times. Frustrated at most. After all, it isn't bad that the redhead doesn't care much, but it is not good either… because it only means that Akashi hadn't seen him as a potential lover. And that hurts.
Also, his eyes get glued to Akashi's form as soon as he sees him. His topaz orbs follow the redhead wherever he might go, and Kise would go start a conversation whenever he finds Akashi free. In short, his world is shrinking once again.
And perhaps it was because he had been watching his captain too much lately that he noticed it.
He was walking into the gym with the rest of the team, they had just finished their laps and all are itching for a game. Akashi came from the office, Kise noticed, probably talking to the coach about something, when the captain saw his group striding in from the outside and approached.
Akashi's stare have always been empty, or maybe just distant. But that day, in that exact moment, it turned to longing, a very much contained longing for at least a second or two.
"Tetsuya," was the name Akashi called out, it was not his. The longing the boy had hid in his heart, the one that he yearned for… it wasn't him. And that broke his heart.
Unwillingly, he found himself backing a step away and a step, then sprinted out of the gym to run away.
Each person he had ever loved… Why do they always see right pass him?
End Rant: Part 2 will be posted, when I get over my depression. Dx Anyway, how was it?