A/N: I read page 104 of House of Hades and couldn't refrain from imagining this short scenario. Please forgive this piece of nonsense and my inactiveness.
Somewhere, in the plains of Tartarus...
Aw yeah! I'm going to be reborn soon. My telkhine form will terrorize, and I mean TERRORIZE, the mortals and demi-gods and gods that dare to oppose me. I am so excited! It's been decades since I've planned this very moment, one that will mark the history of mortals and gods alike. The day of my seventh rebirth. Sure, I was slain six times (my last death occurred when a demi-god with a celestial bronze sword jumped on me and cut my head off, not my best memory), however, in this life, it's definitely going to be different. People will tremble in fear when hearing my name; they will scream in horror when Steve the Telkhine is mentioned. My craftsmanship will be the best of them all, and I will be known for not only my wicked, legendary killing spree, but also for the cursed and powerful weapons I'll make! Yes, this day should be called "Steve-colypse", because my birth will bring great destruction and renewal to the world of yesterday.
I feel like I'm being pushed upwards. The warm sensation that has been enveloping my skin slowly parts from my skin and forms a bubble around me. I'm ascending what I assume to be the earth. My spectacular re-entrance of the World awaits. I can't even describe how giddy I am. The membrane I am ensconced in abruptly explodes.
Steve the Great is reborn! I stretch my limbs, ready to imbue despair-inducing trepidation to the first monsters that just as much catch a glimpse of me. I suddenly make a shocking discovery: my hands and flipper-feet are much less shorter than usual. How dare Hades shorten my beautiful limbs! But Steve the Great will not falter! I dig my claws into the earth and pull, slowly inching my way forward (wherever forward is). Even a soon-to-be king crawls for the first few moments of their life. It's only normal for me—
I let out a shrill, desperate cry as my flesh is torn apart by jagged fangs. Before my mind has time to register it, my physical body dissolves into bits and pieces in the stomach of a douche-bag creature. Geez, dude, read the mood! I haven't been on stage for even three seconds, and bam! I'm dinner? Gosh! You can't just kill off a baby protagonist because the latter will evolve into a much bigger threat! You just can't do that!
Damnit! Decades of planning, ruined in a tenth of a second!