A/N: Hello, minna-san! This is a oneshot dedicated to Pokeshadow55. The theme is April Fool's. And yes, I do realize it's about four days passed April 1st. I'm sorry! I misplaced my USB and looked for AGES to find it. Once I found it, I rushed to finally post this.
To Pokeshadow55: PLEASE FORGIVE ME! D: I'm sorry if this isn't what you had in mind...it just fit into the story well! (You'll understand when you read the part.)
WARNING: This is a SoMa fic. Even if it IS a crossover, this is a SoMa fluff fic.
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"One-Shot: April Fool's...Oops?"
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Hello, dear audience! I, the narrator, assume you are expecting a tale of April Fool's trickery? Well, I beg many a pardon. This story does NOT contain mastered, successful pranking; it does, however, contain numerous (failed) attempts to prank the ultimate prankster. And for all you younger ones, beware: Black*Star's rage can become very, VERY disturbing to some (ALL) parents.
I've ranted enough, but thank you for your undivided attention. It's wonderful to see all of you! Please enjoy this hilarious tale of tomfoolery.
Now, on with the show...
Our story begins on a bright and sunny day in Death City, Nevada. Looking up at the sun, you can see its grin is much wider than usual. That is because it knows today is a special day. Indeed, a very special day for pranksters. In case you haven't guessed it yet, I, being the most considerate narrator, will tell you: today is April Fool's day.
"Oh, no! April Fool's Day?! I totally forgot!" screamed a panicky Liz. She glanced around nervously, expecting something to happen. Her stomach churned at the thought of her outfit being soaked with water, or worse.
'Ew! Ew, ew, EW! Not slime! Or paint, or anything that'll ruin my outfit...' she begged in her mind. Every step corner they encountered, she waited for Kidd and Patti to move ahead before joining them. She screamed and fell to the floor when Patti tried forcing her to follow.
"C'mon, sis," she whined, "Kiddo doesn't wanna be late again! You know what happened yesterday~!"
An image of Kidd standing atop one of the giant needles jutting out of the school popped into Liz's mind. She remembered the difficulty of persuading him not to jump. Although he is a Shinigami, Liz did not want to see him throw his life away. Literally.
With an exasperated sigh, she stood with the help of Patti. The older one hooked an arm around the younger's and smiled gratefully, no longer afraid of being a potential victim of a prank.
"Alright, Patti! Let's g-"
Just as quickly as they linked arms, the blonde let go and leapt backwards. Overhead, a slime came hurtling toward its victim. The tall blond stood rooted to her spot, feeling it trickle down her head. It trailed her back and dripped onto her chest. She gulped as she felt more pool on top of her head. Her breathing became labored, and her eyes widened with each breath.
"Oh...my..."
'No, he did NOT just dump this shit on me...!'
Her hands were clenched at her sides. Her eyes flashed with anger and shock.
"AHAHA, my first victim! You should be honored to have been pranked by ME! The greatest assassin ever to live, BLACK*STAR!" a voice above them thundered. With a loud cry, he jumped from the roof and landed in front of her. He laughed once and looked up.
"That was great, Kidd! She didn't suspect YOU were in on it."
Kidd came into view on Beelzebub holding a bucket of green slime. His face was lit up with pure, unadulterated pride. He uncharacteristically grinned, flying in a figure-8 and yelling joyfully at the top of his lungs.
"I did it! I actually pranked someone!"
Patti, just a few feet away from Liz, cheered with joy. She didn't even try to hold in her laughter. Her arms were wrapped around her abdomen, clutching her sides and falling to the floor.
"Heehee! Sis is soooooo gullible~! Hahaha! It's dripping down Big Sis's shirt!"
Liz glared at her sister and shifted her gaze to the neon-haired loudmouth who was guffawing at his "greatness".
"Freakin' idiots...ALL OF YOU," she muttered darkly. She tried squeezing the disgusting globs of green out of her hair. Much to her chagrin, most of the slime had soaked in her hair. The usual golden blond color had been replaced with a sickly lime green.
"Oh, my! Liz! Are you alright?"
Tsubaki dropped from the roof to stand beside the sulking girl. She bowed a few times to make up for her meister's antics. She could not do much to console the girl.
"Actually, Tsubaki, do you mind coming with me to the mansion? I need to clean up, as you can see," Liz breathed out harshly. Sensing the impending anger she agreed, and the two left the three pranksters to their celebration.
Not one of them could feel the two pairs of eyes watching from the shadows, nor could they sense the presence of the souls stalking not far behind. A tiny giggle escaped from one but was shushed by the other. This perked Black*Star's interest and ego. He just found another victim to mess with.
'Hell yeah. I can get a fight outta this! Wait, Tsubaki left. Alright! I can show off my mastered hand-to-hand skills,' the young assassin thought with a smug grin.
"HEY, GUYS IN THE SHADOWS! I know you're there; show yourselves, COWARDS!"
Kidd blinked several times before facing Black*Star. His genuinely confused expression elicited another soft giggle from the anonymous person. He commanded Beelzebub to bring him to the ground. It levitated above the sidewalk before disappearing by its master's command. Kidd dusted his jacket before approaching.
"Black*Star, what are you rambling about now? Who were you addressing?" he questioned. Patti ran to his side and silently gestured for him to be quiet. She pointed to the shadow of the building. He raised an eyebrow.
"There're people in the shadows. Their eyes are glowing, and one of them keeps giggling. It's creepy," she whispered in his ear. He became apprehensive of these "people". There's no reason as to why they would be tailed.
'Are they Kishin eggs? Why don't they just show themselves?' he pondered. Kidd held a hand up to silence Black*Star. He narrowed his eyes when the loudmouth flashed him the finger. Everyone's eyes widened when they heard a giggle.
"Kuuuu~...Kidd-kun~!" A melodic, sweet voice called out to her target. The person in question cautiously stepped toward the source. He eyed the two behind him before opening his mouth to speak.
"Wha-"
As soon as his voice left his mouth, he was bombarded with water balloons filled with tar. They were speechless, to say the least. No one expected another prank to be pulled this soon. They haven't even reached the school yet! He sputtered indignantly.
"What in the world-!"
"Now, Maka, Soul." A deeper, masculine voice commanded. Above them, the duo dumped feathers over the young Shinigami. They were laughing at their dumbfounded faces.
'Oh man, this is so awesome! I didn't think those two would be into this kind of thing,' Soul thought, grinning. 'And Maka...'
His partner keeled over in a fit of giggles, holding the now empty pillowcase to her chest. It was refreshing to see this childish side of her. He became attached to her intellectual self, but seeing her in this whole other light...He coughed awkwardly as he felt heat rush to his cheeks.
"Did you see their faces? That was priceless!" exclaimed the blond meister. Her face shone with childish delight. Truth be told, she was enjoying herself. She rarely liked to get involved with what she deemed "ridiculous customs", usually because she hated to do something that could potentially embarrass herself in front of Soul.
"Yeah," he chuckled softly, "that was something they definitely were not expecting." Hearing Kidd's distraught cries, they looked at each other once, smirked victoriously, and jumped from the roof.
"BWAHAHAHAHA! Dude, you're a fucking CHICKEN! This is freakin' hilarious!" Black*Star, having recovered from the earlier surprise, held his sides while he shook with laughter. Patti was also laughing, lying on her stomach while she beat the ground with her fists. While everyone but the victim shared their laughter, the two suspicious figures emerged from the shadows.
"Great job, Maka-chan, Soul-kun! Shinigami-sama will be delighted to hear the success," Hinata said with a small grin. The two nodded in acknowledgement.
Turning to Kidd, who had been sulking the entire time, she said, "Shinigami-sama has instructed me to give this to you personally." She produced a medium-sized package from her backpack and handed it to him. He sighed and reluctantly opened the package. He scanned the attached note before eyeing the contents. He blanched and held up the object with a twitchy eye.
To his added humiliation, they only continued with their laughter. Sasuke gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as if telling him that it'll be okay.
"Oh, damn. Lord Death knows how to prank someone. This is just too good," rasped Soul. He tried to catch his breath but found it futile. He, much like the others were wheezing.
"A goddamn rubber chicken! How much better can this get?!" yelled Black*Star. Maka and Hinata exchanged mischievous glances, giggling to themselves.
"Oh," started Maka. Her eyes were glinting dangerously. She and the kunoichi were advancing toward him. Kidd broke out in a cold sweat.
'Oh, I really dislike this.'
"It can!" He yelped in pain when the blunette snapped a beak on his face. The look on her face showed how much she enjoyed his humiliation and pain. One could even say she was a bit of a sadist. Probably not a topic any sane person would want to dwell too much time on.
"Say, 'Cheese', Kidd-kun~!" she cooed. She took a photo of him: tarred, feathered, HUMILIATED. The young Shinigami didn't react much, other than collapsing onto the ground. Everyone disregarded him for doing so.
"Heh, guess we can take this to Lord Death," Soul sniggered, taking the camera from Hinata.
"Hai! Please do, Maka-chan, Soul-kun. Arigatou. You've been a great help," she said with a shy smile. The two waved it off, both saying they had been wanting to prank Kidd for ages. They said their goodbyes and parted ways. Once they were long gone, she dropped the façade and began executing the next step in the plan for "the prank of the century".
Hello, audience! Pleasant to see you again. Yes, yes indeed. I would like to provide you this teeny, tiny bit of somewhat important information.
This "prank of the century" was planned by Lord Death (Shinigami-sama) himself. Heh, shocked, aren't you?
And, if you haven't guessed it, Hinata and Sasuke are his "little helpers", so to speak. Ehehe, be prepared to face Hinata's sadistic side. Hehe...oh! My time is up! Who knew time flies so quickly.
I won't see all of you until the end of this story. So, goodbye for now. Enjoy!
'Shinigami-sama, this plan of yours is too cruel for you to carry out on your own.' Hinata smiled ruefully. 'But Sasuke-kun and I are used to this lifestyle. You knew it wouldn't bother us.'
"Damn! I wish they'd hook up already. It grosses me out how awkward they are around each other." Black*Star shivered in mock disgust.
"Heehee! Soul and Maka sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Ahahaha! Mwahhh~!" Patti kept shouting. Kidd just lay on the ground, motionless.
Sasuke-kun, they seem willing. And, Shinigami-sama did want some help with the project. We could really use them...
...fine. Whatever to get those two together.
Hinata smiled cheekily when he said that. She gave him a hug from behind, nuzzling her nose into his back. He gulped to hold down the gasp which threatened to escape.
"H-Hinata...!" She giggled at his slightly rosy cheeks.
"Hey, Black*Star-kun, Patti-chan, Kidd-kun. We would like to offer you an opportunity to prank Soul-kun and Maka-chan."
"DEAL, I'M IN!"
"Me too~!"
"I also agree to partake in this."
The two shinobi glanced at each other, shared a look, and nodded. Sasuke smirked as Hinata's wavelength wavered. Her "other side" began to take over. When the "takeover" finished, a dangerous glint shone in her eyes.
"Fufufufu...alright, then~. Here is the plan."
Operation: Cola, String, and Mentos aka: Hook, Line and Sinker
Desc.: Give Soul a bottle of cola rigged with a piece of Mentos
Executor(s): Patti and Black*Star
Chance of Success: None to Poor
Black*Star dropped from the rafters of the ceiling and landed on the floor silently. He had a diet cola bottle in his hand. He reviewed the instructions given to him in his head.
'Black*Star-kun, you need to hand this bottle to Soul-kun yourself. Patti-chan will give him a cookie filled with chilies, sending him running for something to drink. You will conveniently be nearby, holding a bottle of diet cola. After you've given it to him, escape. Simple, ne?'
"Alright, so I just stand here and-" He was startled out of his thoughts by a distant shriek. "ALRIGHT! Just gotta give this to him."
"JESUS, PATTI! WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT COOKIE?" His eyes narrowed in confusion. That did not sound like Soul at all.
"Wait, isn't that Liz-?"
"Oh, God! Soda!"
Before he could stop her, Liz wrenched the bottle from his hands and twisted the cap. She was about to gulp it down when a stream gushed from the spout, showering her in the sticky, brown carbonated drink. The geyser managed to reach the ceiling, dripping heavily overhead. Black*Star was nowhere to be seen for he had bolted when she unscrewed the cap.
"UGH! Damn you, Black*Star!" She stomped away, the empty bottle shaking in her trembling hand.
Soul passed by a minute later muttering about disliking sweets.
Operation Cola, String, and Mentos: Fail
Operation: Vengeful Chivalry
Desc.: Drop buckets of water balloons filled with variety of liquids (soda, water, paint, glue, syrup, etc.) on Maka as she exits classroom
Executor(s): Death the Kidd
Chance of Success: Fair
'Okay, Kidd. Your job is fairly easy. The door to your classroom will be slightly ajar. Resting on the top will be a bucket with water balloons. These water balloons are filled with a variety of liquids. You definitely do not want to be caught walking under as they fall. It's practically foolproof.'
"Oh, Maka! Let me get the door for you," Kidd insisted. She smiled at him and started to walk through. She paused, however, when Stein decided to step through the doorway first.
"Why, thank you, Ki-" The bucket fell, and the balloons broke before touching the ground. The various liquid contents splattered on the professor's head. Kidd broke out in a nervous sweat as he watched him wipe the side of his face. He inspected it closely before giving it a quick sniff.
"Huh. Expired milk."
'Shit...I am so screwed.'
Those were Kidd's last thoughts before he was chloroformed and KIDnapped by Stein. The way his grin kept growing indicated that he intended to experiment and probably (obviously) dissect his specimen.
Maka rolled her eyes when Stein passed in front of her and used the other door.
Operation Vengeful Chivalry: Fail
"Ugh! Why is this so much harder that it should be?" a very annoyed Hinata complained. "These plans are simple and very nearly foolproof! And now Kidd is gone..." She sighed.
"Don't you have this major prank planned out? I'm sure you have at least one more, right!?" Black*Star said desperately.
"Patti wants to prank someone, TOO!"
"Y-yes, okay. I-I understand you're very a-anxious, but-" Hinata froze when she heard slight murmuring from outside. She recognized Maka's exasperated sighs and Soul's grumbling about how "uncool" it was to not prank someone. "Do you hear that...?"
With his vigor renewed, Black*Star fist-pumped the air and flashed a thumbs up. Patti nodded while trying to contain her mischievous laughter.
"Fufufu...this will be FUN."
"Today was exhausting!" Maka exclaimed. She and Soul were overlooking the city from one of the academy towers. She had her head propped up by an arm; he was nodding in agreement. "Kidd was acting strangely when he tried to hold the door open for me.
"And Patti tried giving me a cookie. Thank God I didn't eat it. Apparently it was made with something super spicy. Or so Liz says." He yawned and stretched his arms. She gave a small "Hm" in response.
"I'm pretty sure they were trying to prank us," she said, stating the obvious. He scoffed which earned him a slap on the arm. He feigned a hurt expression.
"That really hurt, Maka!" She burst into a fit of giggles, and he smirked.
"Oh, stop, Soul! You're too much," she giggled. A moment of comfortable silence passed between the two. Maka cleared her throat and caught his attention, just as she intended.
"Um...Soul..." she nervously began. She fidgeted with her hands. Her cheeks lit up brightly as she mustered the courage to force words out of her mouth.
"Yeah?" he asked, coaxing her to go on. She scratched her cheek and looked away. One of his eyebrows rose as he stared.
Maka drew in a deep breath and grabbed him by his jacket. She stared in his wide, crimson eyes before finally saying, "I like you," and crushing her lips against his. It was a chaste kiss, but it was a kiss nonetheless. She pulled away with visibly flushed cheeks and watched his reaction. He didn't move from his spot.
"So..." Soul stepped out of her grasp. Her heart very nearly broke by this action. She was about to ask why he didn't like her back when he chuckled softly. "W-what-?"
"I'm sorry, Maka. I think you should tell this to the boy you intended to kiss," he said ominously. She stared at him in confusion and took a few steps away.
"W-what are you talking about?"
With that said, Soul poofed! into a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, she expected him to have disappeared. She wasn't expecting Sasuke to be standing in his place. His hands were tucked in his pockets. He acted nonchalantly as opposed to the horrified Maka. He thrust a note into her trembling hands.
'April Fool's! Signed, Lord Death' Sasuke caught her before her body could hit the floor.
Epilogue
Black*Star and Patti were shocked, to say the least. They didn't think Lord Death could be so devious as to do something so cruel as this. It was truly something that could leave a mental scar on someone. They vowed to never get on Lord Death's bad side, no matter what the circumstance. They were also wary about every person they encountered, whether it was someone they knew or a total stranger on the street.
Liz and Tsubaki were outraged when they heard about the prank. They were, however, calmed when it was explained to be a plan to get the together. They were content, to say the least.
Maka and Soul eventually confessed to each other, shared a clichéd kiss, and started dating. Soul thought it was quite funny that she fainted after finding out that 'he' was not actually him. A Maka Chop was enough to end that discussion. Many bouts of "I told you so" came from everyone they knew, especially Lord Death. They never heard the end of it.
As for Kidd, he disappeared for a day. Hinata and Sasuke were eventually sent to rescue him from Stein's house, where he had undergone many stressful experiments and developed a mild case of PTSD.
Lord Death was glad to see his students finally paired together. He was so thrilled with his success that he began devising other possible matches. He became known as the "Masochistic Matchmaker".
Life couldn't get any better than this.
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~Fin~
A/N: Okay, first of all, I am SO SORRY for that plot twist. It just had to be a bit funnier, so I added that part. Since I'm not a diehard fan of SoMa, it was really funny when Sasuke lifted the transformation. I'm sorry! Gomen, please forgive! I hope it wasn't too terrible for all you SoMa shippers...
But, besides that, tell me your thoughts! Shoot me a PM, or drop a review. And check out the story that isn't directly linked to this; The Shadow Kunoichi and Her Serpent.