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Broken wings

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"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

-Oscar Wilde

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Monday, August 31st, 2015

Tokyo Three

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It was a hot Monday morning, and the clock on the wall of classroom two-A seemed determined to crawl along at a snail's pace. The students of this class were mostly asleep, save one or two exceptions including the class representative. Hikari Horaki sat listening diligently as ever, the pigtailed thirteen-year-old absorbing every word, even if she had heard it many times before already. The teacher of the class was sat back in his chair hidden behind his newspaper, his droning monotone voice detailing the post second impact world. If he was at all aware of the sleeping students, he did not show it, seemingly lost in his own reminiscence. For his part, fourteen-year-old Shinji Ikari had his head down on his desk, but his eyes remained open as he contemplated his life, or rather his lack of one. He contemplated his role as a defender of humanity, his role as a pilot of the Evangelion combat unit. He contemplated the pain he suffered each time he piloted, the strain it placed upon his mind. Piloting an Eva was not for the faint of heart, and he himself had at one point ran away from his problem. It had in the end not been the answer, and after a short session of soul searching, Shinji had realized he didn't want to go back to his life before Eva. No, he would rather face the threat of humanities enemies, than return to that cold uncaring existence.

This had however still left him with problems to solve, such as how he the unluckiest kid on the planet, was ever supposed to find acceptance? Shinji craved affection and love more than anything, but he was afraid of being hurt at the same time, the result of this deadlock was that he did nothing. Nothing but try to drown out the uncaring world, hiding away by listening to his SDAT player. Shinji turned his head, to his left Rei Ayanami continued her everlasting staring contest, the tree outside would surely blink someday, for Rei most certainly would not. The albino girl was as ever a mystery to him, though they had at least gotten a little closer, he had even managed to coax a smile from the girl after their most recent battle. Shinji shifted his gaze back to the stubborn clock, wishing with all his might not to be here. The school was a dull uninteresting bore-fest, and while Shinji was not the most exciting person on the planet, he at least was more exciting than this. To his right Aida Kensuke had his head down, the otaku boy was fast asleep with his glasses askew. Toji was further over and likewise out for the count, the sporty athletic boy not one for obeying the school rules or listening to the teacher's voice. Shinji let out a morose sigh, surely, he would die of boredom in here. No angel could match the lethal power of his teacher's voice, though the last one had certainly given it a good shot.

A massive hovering slate grey octahedron, it had seemed utterly unremarkable at first glance, but once provoked it had proven deadly. Shinji winced recalling his first encounter, the angel's massive laser attack almost ending his life. Shinji had been reluctant to return to piloting the Evangelion, traumatized after nearly being boiled alive in his entry plug. However, he had dutifully donned his plug suit once again, and thanks to Misato's plan and Rei's help, had downed the latest in a series of threats. His mind wandered now to his guardian and roommate Misato Katsuragi, older than he was yet still incredibly attractive, very much forbidden fruit. Not that she would ever have those feelings for Shinji, nobody could or ever would have such feelings for him. He was about to resume his self-indulgent mental torment when the door to the class suddenly opened. Rei looked up suddenly attentive, as Nerv's section two agents entered the room. At their head was a blonde woman he had never seen before, "Pilot's Ayanami and Ikari, you need to come with us right now." The blonde spoke, body language calm yet there was a sense of urgency to her voice. Shinji stood obediently and grabbed his bookbag, shouldering it he fell into step with the agents, pondering what was going on. The class finally stirred from their stupor, whispers, and murmurs passing amongst them.

Had another angel been detected perhaps? Odd then that they had changed the usual routine, normally they made their own way to headquarters. The corridors were devoid of student traffic, understandable considering it was not yet mid-day. Shinji followed the agents out, and shot a questioning gaze at Ayanami, however, the girl appeared as puzzled as he. Outside two cars awaited them, and Shinji frowned, something big was clearly up here. Sure enough, Rei was guided to one car, and Shinji to another. The vehicle he was guided to looked familiar, wasn't this his father's limousine? However, in the rear, there was no sign of the man, and so Shinji clambered in and buckled up. The car had more than enough room in the back, but Shinji doubted he would be allowed to roam it. Sure enough, the blonde agent clambered in next to him, taking up the rightmost seat a concerned frown on her face. "what's going on?" He finally worked up the courage to ask, and she pursed her lips before answering. "We have intel of a kidnapping plot, you and pilot Ayanami are the targets." Shinji felt himself frown, who on earth would ever want to kidnap him? He personally felt he had no value whatsoever as a hostage unless it was his status as a pilot?

Letting out a morose sigh he reached into his book bag and drew out his ballpoint pen, one of the few possessions he owned that he personally had bought. The vehicle set off carefully, the car Ayanami was riding in bringing up the rear, and Shinji felt a momentary surge of self-importance. Was this how his father felt when being driven around in this thing? Perhaps, Shinji really didn't understand his estranged father, the man was so cold and aloof to him. Yet he had seen his father smile at Rei, a kind and fond smile that had caused Shinji's heart to hurt. Why couldn't the man look at him like that? Rei clearly had a special relationship with his father, a relationship he was not privy to. Shinji felt himself deflate, that fleeting feeling of importance fading away. He deftly began twirling the pen, letting it dance between his fingers. Shinji had been practicing this, mostly to improve the dexterity of his left hand. His tongue poked out as he focused on the pen, watching as it moved between his fingers. Inevitably the pen dropped, falling into the footwell to his left. Shinji grunted and reached down to pick it up again, he was improving but still had a way to go. Face pressed against the door he heard a loud roar and looked up to see the grill of another car powering toward him.

Pain exploded through his left arm as the car impacted the door, the limo shifting sideways violently and the door deforming. Shinji lost consciousness for a moment, before returning to a world filled with agony. He could see nothing more than a slit of light, that from his left eye. Pain and a terrible throbbing enveloped his arm, the side of his face hurt like nothing he had experienced before. He could see nothing out of his right eye, hot sharp pain coming from the socket. His whole world had turned into a type of hell, his left side was a wall of agony, and the teenager was suddenly and violently sick. Shinji lay trembling and weeping as he heard the gunshots, the world seemed to fade in and out for him, and he moaned as he passed out again. "Ikari." Shinji heard Ayanami's voice pulling him back, filled with a concern the girl normally didn't show. "Pilot Ayanami move!" This was the agent, the blonde woman he had ridden with, at least she was alright. Moments later the woman's voice sounded again, and this time it was far from composed. "Pilot down! I need an emergency ambulance on my location now!" Shinji didn't move as she spoke, he couldn't have moved anyway. He could no longer feel the fingers of his left arm; it must still be pinned in the doorway. Something touched his upper arm and then tightened around it sharply. Shinji cried out in pain, and then to his growing fear, he was moved out of his seat.

Shinji tried to speak, tried to warn the woman of his trapped arm, yet the next thing he felt was the air outside the car, and a horrible burning throbbing in his lower arm. Shinji whimpered, his breathing was becoming much harder to manage, and the frightening reality hit him, he might be dying. "Ikari," Rei spoke again, and he felt her hand gently take his right. "Ayanami." He managed to slur out, it was taking so much effort to stay awake, to speak. "Stay with me pilot, come on stay awake!" he heard the woman demand of him, her voice laced with a desperation that touched Shinji. "Trying." His jaw hurt, everything hurt everywhere but at least he wasn't alone. Shinji cursed that he couldn't see anymore, he wanted to see the sunshine one more time or see Rei's smile yes that would be better. He heard another vehicle pull up tires screeching and felt himself being lifted even as he understood his body was beginning to go numb. Other sounds caught his ears, it strangely sounded like he was underwater. Was it him or could he hear the sound of camera shutters? "Get those civilians out of here!" The woman bellowed furiously. Shinji whimpered tears streaming down his face as he was lain down inside the ambulance, Rei was still with him not leaving his side. A strange calmness slowly crept over him; a needle pierced his skin but that was ok. "Come on stay with me damn it!" he heard a man's voice speak. Shinji felt his chest huffing in an effort to keep going, then finally even that ceased as the darkness claimed him.

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Elias Stanton spat out an ugly swear word as he stared down the barrel of his Bor rifle, through the scope he could see where the operation had gone south. The limo was supposed to contain one Gendo Ikari, it had contained a kid. "Abort repeat abort!" he barked into his comlink and lowering the weapon set about packing it away. Dark hair kept buzz cut short, and of Maori decent he had been sent here with one purpose, to eliminate commander Ikari, however killing kids was not in the job description. Not that his employer had ordered the death of just any Ikari, though that now looked somewhat unavoidable. Elias had been in the perfect position on the rooftop, it overlooked the intersection the ambush had been set at. His role had been to coordinate the attack, and if need be put a bullet in Gendo's skull. "Bug out, fall back to rendezvous." He continued; it wouldn't be long before Section two was swarming all over Tokyo three. Elias was in enemy territory now and had to get as much of his team out as he could, he owed them that at least. 'Even if they were mostly disposable' the ugly thought flitted through his mind, and he firmly snuffed that out. There was a fine line between being a calculating professional and a sociopath.

Exiting the buildings ground floor emergency door, he glanced back towards the intersection, there had been a few civilians in the area, and now they were snapping pictures of the crash. 'Jackals' He mentally spat and turning located his getaway motorcycle. It seemed Gendo Ikari had played them all spectacularly, and now he had to get back and report to his boss. He located a handy trash skip, and as he rode past it flung the weapon case into the skip, thankful his gloves would stop any fingerprints. His only hope was that section two was too busy making up excuses, to track too far and he might make it clear of the city. Graves would not be happy about this result, his boss had received intelligence about Ikari's movements, now the source of that information was in question. He had watched as his plan had unfolded, the car had approached the target vehicle at speed, and as planned had t-boned it. The impact had been impressive, almost flipping the limo over. The suicidal patsy driver, a disgruntled ex-employee of Nerv, had staggered out and opened fire. His shots had been indiscriminate, and that had likely prevented the kid from taking a bullet. It had been a blonde female agent, one Elias was well acquainted with who had taken down the shooter, and Elias had let her do it. He let out a grunt of irritation at the fouled-up mission, hopefully, Graves would be understanding of events.

He gunned it through the back streets and alleyways, a route he had already selected in advance, and after a short trip spotted the small apartment building. A figure was sat on the back of a flatbed truck and glanced up as he pulled up. "Bit of a cock up eh?" Mitchel growled; the shaven-headed bulldog of a Brit looked as irritated as Elias felt. Blaine Mitchel was one of the few none disposable troops with him, the former SAS man having volunteered for the mission. "The commander wasn't in the car; I think we just killed the third child instead." He watched as Mitchel winced, "Bugger, the old man won't be pleased about that." Elias nodded in agreement, and the pair waited to see if anyone else came. It quickly became apparent they were on their own, "Right screw it, they've probably scattered in a panic." Elias jumped into the front driver's seat, if they were quick, they might just make it out yet. Mitchel clambered into the passenger side; his carbine rifle placed at his feet. "Natalya should be waiting at the old airport still, just hope they don't ground the planes." That could prove a major problem, though Nerv shouldn't feel the need to do so. After all, it should appear to be the work of a lone disgruntled former employee and not the actions of a professional strike force.

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Shinji felt a sense of awareness return to him slowly, and he felt himself smiling gently, the pain was gone, all he felt an immense sense of relief, of peace. It took him a moment to process that he could see and what he was seeing, he looked down at his own body. It was being wheeled along on a gurney, the blonde agent by his side her face a mask of, grief or perhaps anger? So, this was what they called an out of body experience. Out here, he could see the damage he had sustained. The left side of his face was a massive black bruise, his left eye was shut due to the swelling and his right was caked in blood. A cut ran down the length of his right eye, starting at his eyebrow and terminating at the top of his cheek. His left arm was gone below the elbow, a tourniquet had been strapped on tightly to stop blood loss. As for Shinji, he was simply floating along seeing and hearing everything. They were at headquarters now, traveling along the corridors towards the medical section of Nerv. The attending emergency medics were fighting to save him, there was strange desperation in their movements and voices. Shinji frowned again at this, why were they so determined to save him? Shinji didn't feel himself worth the effort, not here not ever. Yet these two men continued to valiantly fight, Shinji shook his head as they entered a room.

'They should just let me go' the thought reverberated in his being, and Shinji found he was not upset at that prospect. Here he was now beyond pain and suffering, nobody to hate him and no one to hurt him. 'This is better' He found himself thinking, and turned to leave the scene if he could when Misato entered the room. Her expression was one of desperation combined with disbelief, Shinji held up his hands to warn her off but she passed right through him. The medics had finally given up, no longer struggling to keep his frail damaged body going. The sound of the heart monitor one long steady tone, his heart had stopped. Ritsuko entered behind her expression masked, but not even she could completely hide her distress. It was the sound of abject misery that dragged him back to Misato, the woman had all but collapsed on top of his body. Shinji was floored as the woman wept brokenly for him, he wanted to deny what he was seeing here, but there could be no denial. Misato stroked his bloodied and bruised face tenderly, whispering in his ear a desperate plea. Misato cared for him, she truly cared for him. In that one moment passing on lost its allure, no this wasn't fair! How could it take you away but show you this, show him the one thing he had wanted more than anything when alive? 'No! I want to go back damn it!' he pleaded.

He could now feel the pull on him of the other side, but now he wasn't ready for that, he wanted to live and explore this newfound belonging. To feel pain as he piloted the Eva, and it would be worth it just to please Misato, someone who cared about him. Shinji gathered his fragile will refusing to give up, he would haunt these corridors if need be, but he was not moving on! Darkness suddenly blocked his vision, and sound came to him as if muffled. A rhythmic beeping sound coming from the heart monitor, he pushed harder now. Suddenly air flooded into his lungs and he gulped at it, Misato letting out a startled cry. He felt hands moving across him, once again the doctors trying to get him stabilized, and he fought the creeping darkness with all his will. He felt a pulse of warmth from within himself and let out a moan as it suffused him with surprising strength. "Shinji!" Misato uttered his name over and over, "Hang in there please!" and through the pain, he forced a smile onto his lips. Exhaustion once more stole over him, but this time he felt it was not the end. He felt the odd warmth within his body, emanating from his heart, a heart that had a now steady and strong rhythmic beat to it. Shinji knew it was time to rest, he had fought his way back against the odds. Shinji would fight now harder than ever; he would fight to make sure Misato was not alone. Shinji felt sleep coming up to embrace him, and as he slid once more into the darkness, he heard a woman's voice speak. "That's good for you."

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Misato still had her heart in her mouth, she was sitting a cup of tea in her hands, hands that refused to stop trembling. Shinji Ikari, her ward and someone she had grown to understand and care for, had been dead. If she closed her eyes, she could still see his body, a body that was now wrapped up like a mummy. At his bedside Ritsuko busied herself, the faux blonde scientist checking the boy's saline bag, and making sure his drug dispenser was working. It had been twelve hours now since she had first seen him, had watched the medics give up trying to resuscitate him. She had broken down, unable to grasp why someone would want to kill the boy. She recalled whispering his name, stroking his cheek and begging him not to go. The cruelty of the whole thing had been too much to take, she had whispered his name feeling tears streak down her face. Then suddenly the heart monitor had sprung to life and he had taken in a shuddering breath, and against all odds and his injuries, Shinji Ikari had resuscitated. Ritsuko tapped her pen against her lips, a puzzled frown etched on her face. "Out with it Rits, I can hear your brain grinding from here." Misato grouched at the woman, Ritsuko pulled up a chair then leaned in closer. "You and I both know; Shinji should be dead. His injuries should have been fatal, they… were fatal." The scientist trailed off shaking her head.

Misato flinched at her friend's words but could not deny what she had seen with her own eyes. "You think piloting the Eva has changed him?" Ritsuko shook her head, "No, Rei was here longer than Shinji, and her injuries took the expected time to heal." Misato leaned back and forced her hands to steady as she took a sip of her drink. Ritsuko shrugged her shoulders, "maybe he really wanted to come back to you, who knows?" Misato didn't buy the scientists explanation, mostly because it was one that she had already considered herself. She had seen his lips pull up in a smile before he had lost consciousness again, but that theory was a romantic one, and Misato knew her friend didn't do romantic. "I'll know more once I can run an ultrasound." Misato watched as Ritsuko made to light a cigarette and gave the woman a glare of disapproval. "Fine, I'll go smoke where he isn't." She grumbled and rose to her feet, then Ritsuko returned her gaze to Misato expression mischievous. "We'll organize the wedding when he wakes up." Then darted out the door, Misato had nearly been ready to throw her tea at the woman. She turned back to Shinji and pulled her seat closer to him, "You can't marry till your eighteen anyway, and you wouldn't marry an old maid like me."

She snorted at her own self-depreciation, running herself down wasn't really her style, that had always been more Shinji's thing. She reached over and gently stroked his forehead, the surgeons had set his bones carefully. Though they had marveled at how resilient the boy had proven, like Ritsuko they had felt he should be six feet under, not in a stable if serious condition. She entertained the thought still though, that it had been her voice that had encouraged him to fight. Misato glanced up and almost dropped her tea in shock, as Gendo Ikari strolled into the small room. His expression as ever a carefully constructed mask, a mask of utter indifference. His eyes roamed the fragile figure on the bed, and then without a word, he turned and left the room. Not once had he spared a glance at Misato, nor had there been the slightest hint of concern for his son. Had he come down here simply to confirm the news, if so, Misato could have spared him the trip. Another entered the room, this time sub commander Kozo Fuyutsuki, Gendo's right-hand man. Unlike the supreme commander, Fuyutsuki showed emotion toward the boy. The man shaking his head in disbelief, walking to the boy's side and running a hand gently along one arm.

"They've initiated the emergency procurement protocol." He spoke finally, and Misato met the man's gaze. "They've selected a new pilot already?" It seemed Nerv didn't beat about the bush and had already made moves to replace the stricken third child. It made sense, it was highly likely Shinji would never be able to pilot again, assuming he ever woke up. The grey-haired man nodded, "She's en route as we speak, but it's a long flight from Bethany." Misato had heard of the outpost, supposedly an isolated research and development base. Out there they were working on provisional Evangelion unit five, but the development process was taking time and more importantly money. There were rumblings that Bethany was to have its funding cut if they didn't produce the goods soon. Fuyutsuki walked around the bed and handed her a folder, "this is everything we have on the… problem child." He rolled his eyes as he said the code name. Misato opened the folder and began to peruse its contents; a picture of the girl was attached to the upper right. An attractive young girl smiled out at her, eyes seeming to dance with energy behind her red-rimmed glasses. She was a brunette, and her facial expression reminded Misato of an exceptionally curious cat. She skipped the first few pages, heading straight to the psych evaluation.

"This can't be right," Misato muttered, and noted the amusement in Fuyutsuki's eyes, for apparently, he had also looked here first. The girl was at least if you believed the reports, completely mentally sound with no aberrations detected in her mental state. Misato skipped back to the other pages, "Likes extreme sports. An adrenalin junky. Gets on well with others and is kind to a fault. However, is annoying when on a sugar rush? No mental abnormality detected?" Misato looked up at her superior lips curling into a disbelieving smile, "There has to be something wrong with her? Rude habits, maybe she's a serial killer?" He shook his head as she spoke, "likely we'll find out in due time." Misato nodded her head in bemused agreement. Even the second child, Asuka Soryu was a mess psychologically, haughty and proud, driven to seek validation in the eyes of others. Someone like this problem child would likely cause entirely unique, problems. "Mari Illustrious Makinami." She read the girls given name aloud, "I'll have her move into the spare room, see what this girl is really all about." Fuyutsuki smiled, "be careful to hide the kitchen knives." He chuckled and turned to leave her alone with her ward. Misato sat lost in thought, her gaze swept Shinji and a thought blossomed. What Shinji needed more than anything, was a very close friend. Sure, he was friends with Suzuhara and Kensuke at school, but he needed something more than that.

Maybe if this girl was as sociable as her profile indicated, she might be just the sort to help Shinji, Misato smiled at the boy. Poor Shinji had no idea Misato was plotting away, and that if he awoke his world would be very different. Ritsuko returned from her cigarette break and set about checking over the boy once again. She watched her friend in amusement, Misato had not been the only one to be rattled by what had happened. Her phone buzzed, and she checked the text pleased to see Hikari had managed with her pet penguin. Pen-Pen could be a fussy little thing sometimes, but Hikari seemed to have the magic touch. The young girl would stay at her place, keep an eye on it for her while she was here. She sent back a reply to Hikari's query, no real change in Shinji, but at least he was stable. Misato hadn't the heart to tell the girl Shinji had been clinically dead, no one was to find that out for some time yet. Ritsuko took a blood sample from Shinji, double checked the boy's pillows and then took her leave. Misato yawned sleepily, she should really see about getting her head down but was reluctant to leave the boys side. A nurse entered the room pushing a reclining chair, and Misato mouthed her thanks. The nurse handed her a blanket and a pillow of her own then turned off the room lights and Misato lay back closing her eyes, understandably sleep did not come easily.

AN: ok so I have been planning to give this a refresh for some time, mostly I felt a need to improve the flow of the story hence introducing a solid time frame. Some chapters such as this one likely won't see significant changes, however, after some quite correct criticism, I am working on making the whole Shaw situation slightly less of a WTF moment. I have mostly finished 18 chapters using the existing framework and will spend the rest of today 28/06.2019 doing some last minute changes for updating. While a certain plot point won't be changing, as I have contemplated where the story was to go it started to drift slightly from what I have already written. Thank you for all the support and feedback, hopefully, Grammarly has not mangled this thing too badly. Welly