"Naya I'm pregnant" Heather confessed and tears started to stream down on her face
With just those three little words, my whole world broke down. Heather's pregnant, she's pregnant with Taylor's baby. Isn't this what she always wanted? To have kids with him? Then why is she crying? Does she..does she still have?
I couldn't finish the question in my head. I don't want to get my hopes up about her still having feelings for me when in the end she would go to Taylor's arms and not mine
I released a breath I didn't know I was holding and gave her the best smile I could muster up, trying to hide the pain.
"Wow..Hemo..Congratulations" was all I could come up to say
What should I tell her anyway? Isn't that one she wanted to hear from her best friend? I can't just go tell her and say how those 3 words just broke my heart.
She kept on crying, she tried to reach me but I was stepping back, it's like I don't have the control on my body anymore. When she picked Taylor over me, it broke my heart so much but now her having his baby was just too much. How is it possible for my heart to break into more tiny million pieces when It wasn't even whole from the start?
"Nay.. please" I hear her beg, she's still trying to reach me but I kept on stepping back, if I feel her touch again I swear I'm gonna break down and I don't want to cry anymore.. I don't want to cry over her again, I'm just done. Spilling worthless tears over her when she doesn't even care she's the one whose the reason for it.
I told her how much I love her time and time but what does she did? She just stepped on my heart over and over again, like that wasn't enough, today she decided to stabbed it with a sharp knife.
I tried to push aside my feelings for her and continue on being her best friend that would be always there for her but no matter how I tried, I just can't hide this feelings for her. I tried to get away from her but somehow I just kept on coming back to her, like I always do.
"I'm – I'm" I couldn't think of anything to say. I just want to lock myself in my room, put on the saddest love song that mankind has ever made and cry and cry until my eyes ran dry.
This time it's me who walked out. I fastened my pace towards my car because she might follow me , I glanced behind me but no she wasn't following me. She was just standing there, so this is it, after all those times, I'm still her second option and I'll always be.
Even though it's me who walked out this time, I'm still the one who's hurt.
/
(A few months later)
Glee season 4 ended an thank god there's no season 5. As much as to fans dismay , Brittana didn't got back together. Why should I push Santana on going back to Brittany when Brittany has already moved on with Sam? Santana deserves to be happy with someone else, she shouldn't focus all of her attention on to someone who'll always just choose her when there's no one left. Just like what she did to me.
I flip through the channels, trying to find something worth watching for, I decided to just watch the news. At first I wasn't really listening until my ears perked up at the mention of her name.
They're saying she just gave birth to a healthy baby girl. They started to show pictures of her and the baby. Then at the last picture was like a family picture, everyone was there, including the whole glee cast, except me.
Why do I feel suddenly guilty? No one called me saying she was about to give birth, it's not like I wanted to be there anyway.
After that heartbreaking day, we never spoke to each other again. When I got home that night, she didn't call or texted , when I got to the glee set for the shooting of the last episode, no words was exchanged between me and her..and I was kinda glad.
Hearing her voice would just totally wreck me and I'm already broken why break me more? She had done enough.
The commercials blast through the screen and I turned the t.v. off.
I sighed and I feel this heavy feeling on my chest. Why do I always feel guilty about everything? Why? I didn't do anything wrong. She's the one who should be guilty about all of this but then again.. does she even think about me at all? Did she even thought about what she did to me?
Does she even wanted me to be there?
/
(Another few months later)
I grabbed my mail, the first few were just bills and the last one made frozen. It's from her. It's an invitation to her wedding.
I sit on my couch and stared at it for a while, I don't' wanna open it. It will just break me more. I put the invitation down and just stare at it.
She's getting married to him. Of course she is, they just had a baby and the next step now is marriage. Why am I even surprised.
Maybe because you hoped she'll come back to you a voice in my head whispered. Maybe.. a part of me still hoped that she'd finally chose me but since she's already getting married. There's no hope now.
No more hope.
I started to crumble, here I am again, wasting my tears on her.
Is this some sick joke of hers? Sending me an invitation to their wedding when she knows I'll probably be hurt when she says 'I do' to him or when they kiss in front of me. Like, does she want me to die because of a broken heart? Well soon-to-be-Mrs.-Hubbell , I am dying of a broken heart, slowly and painfully.
Is this your wedding wish? Don't worry cause it's slowly coming true.
/
(A few weeks later)
I was cleaning the house when I found that letter again. I didn't know why I haven't threw it yet, maybe because I want to find out what kind of sappy message they put in there.
Finally, I decided to open it, I probably should have opened it the moment I got it so I would have cried all of the pain when I first received this.
Ms. Rivera you are invited to..blah blah.. Heather Morris and Taylor Hubbell's wedding… they're getting married here in L.A. and the church they're going to get married is a little bit far from my house. Why do I even care? It's not like I'm going.
I was about to throw it out when I saw another letter in the white envelope. How come I didn't notice this before?
I opened it and saw her writing.
Naya, you need to help me, I need you to speak up when the Preacher asks if anyone would like to object, please , I need you. I'm so sorry, I should have realized this before, I'm so sorry Nay.
My mind was racing. She wants me to..object their wedding? What is she saying? Is this some trick of her to embarrass me in front of her and his family? But maybe, just maybe.. she really still has feelings for me.
I looked at the invitation again to see what time, it said 3 pm. I left hand and the sleeve of my hoody came falling down and looked at my watch. It's 3:05 already. Not all occasion starts at the exact time..so I still have a few minutes left.
I sprint to my car. I tried to start the engine and it won't budge. I slammed my first on the steering wheel and got out. I got a taxi cab instead and told him to go to the church. I told the driver to hurry up since it's already 3:10, we were just 2 blocks away when 2 stupid drivers decided to crash at each others car , causing a traffic.
I gave the driver his pay and decided to just run. I kept on running, a few people recognizing me but I didn't care, I just want to get there already. I looked a my watch and it's already 3:25
"shit" I muttered under my breath.
The church finally came into a view and saw it's decorated with beautiful white flowers,I ran faster until I was in front of the 2 giant doors. I feel my chest tightened , my breathing became heavier. When I open this doors, what will I see in there?
I raised my hand , I was about to open it until someone opened it from the inside , revealing her and him.
She looks so beautiful in her wedding dress, she looks like an angel who came down, but something about her seemed sad on this supposed to be a perfect day for her.
I look besides her and saw him. He looks confused and all I want to do is rip his head off then I look back at her, trying to hold back down her tears. She looks sad and all I want to do is have her in my arms and apologize to her over and over again for walking out that day and for not being there when she gave birth.
She freed her hand from Taylor's and stepped in front of me. I looked her in the eyes and it's like the first time I have seen it.
"I'm so sorry Nay but you were 25 minutes late" she said and tears streamed down on her beautiful face.
I cupped her face and wiped the tears with my thumb. "You shouldn't cry , it was my fault, I'm sorry, but you're with him now, he's going to take care of you, he'll be there for you, always, unlike me who promised that I'll be there for you no matter what" I tried to hold back a sob "I love you Hemo, nothing can change that but we need to move on, I need to move on because you're already on the next chapter of your life while I'm still stuck where we left it off" I said.
I tried to be strong for her once again but this time it won't be the last time because I realized if we really love somebody we'll try to be there for them no matter how much it hurts and you'll be able to take every pain just to see them smile .
Every pain, every stab in the heart, I'll take it all just to see her happy even if she's with someone else.