Disclaimers: Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, and Warner Bros. owns all. No copyright infringement intended. The Love Letter Generator is a real thing I found on AOL so I guess they own the rights to it; the website, however, is not.
Spoilers: recent season three stuff; like H.C.-172, The Two Bartlets
The Love Letter Generator
******
"DON-NA!"
Donna, startled for a moment to hear the interruption coming from the unusual quietness of Josh's office, closed the file she was reading and got up from her desk.
"Yeah, Josh?"
"Donna, tomorrow's Valentine's Day," he said with a hint of bewilderment in his voice.
"I know that, Josh."
"Well, I didn't. You're supposed to keep me abreast of things like this."
"Abreast?" Donna asked, trying to stifle her laughter.
"What? It's a word."
"Josh, you have a calendar on your desk. In fact, it even has little hearts with lace dollies announcing the day to you all month long. It's not part of my job description to remind you to be romantic on certain days of the year."
"It should be," he mumbled.
Donna paused for a moment, wondering whether she should say what she was thinking. "I'm surprised Amy didn't remind you, or is she anti-Valentine's Day?"
Josh exhaled deeply. "I don't know. She's been at a domestic violence conference in Seattle for couple of days, and we've only talked on the phone a few times. The last time we got off the phone I said I'd pick her up at the airport on Wednesday night, but then she pointed out that her plane was landing at 12:05 am, which technically makes it early Thursday morning."
"So Amy's into cryptic talk?" Donna asked, sitting down in the guest chair.
"No, not really, I don't...It's only been a month, but a month is a long enough time together to celebrate Valentine's Day, right?"
"Josh, a day is long enough time." She waited a moment before adding, "Did you want something when you called me in here or do you just want to bitch to me about your love life?"
"Donna, I'm being serious here. Amy's plane lands in, like, two and a half hours and I don't have a thing for her."
"All right, all right. Calm down. Why don't you write Amy a mushy little love letter and then you can pick up some flowers at the airport?"
Josh scowled and raised his eyebrows. "A love letter? You want me to write a love letter?"
"Yes," Donna replied, arching her shoulders.
"To Amy?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because it's something guys do for their girlfriends on Valentine's Day, Josh."
Josh sighed loudly. "I don't know how to write a love letter," he mumbled under his breath.
"I didn't quite get that," Donna teasingly strained to hear as she leaned in closer in her chair.
"I don't know how to write a love letter."
"I find that very hard to believe, Josh. Just take out a piece a paper and write."
"I'm not Sam."
"Oh, quit whining, ya big baby," she said over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.
A half hour later, Donna peaked her head into Josh's office. "How's it coming?"
"It's not," he groaned, balling up another sheet of paper and adding it to the pile he had already made.
Planting herself down in the chair again, she reached across the desk for one of the discarded papers.
"Hey!" Josh jumped out of his seat on the defensive to snatch the rumbled paper from Donna's hand.
"What? I can't read it?"
"Not those," he said, self-consciously. "Those aren't any good."
"C'mon, Josh. Amy's plane is probably somewhere over Indiana by now. Just write anything. I'm sure that note you wrote in my Christmas present a few years back didn't take this long. Why is this any different?" Donna stopped herself, embarrassed by the suggestion of her last question.
"I'll have you know that that note went through several drafts before I was finished with it!"
Donna's face broke out in a deep grin. "Really?"
"Yeah, well, I was infected with the Christmas spirit at the time."
"Of course," replied Donna, swallowing hard. "So love letter for Amy. What seems to be the problem?"
"I don't know. I'm just not feeling it, I guess."
"Well, um...you could write about how you feel about her? Or things about her that you like? Why do you like Amy?" she asked, wishing to cover up her feelings of uneasiness.
"What kind of question is that?"
"It's a question, Josh. It'll help with the letter. Why do you like Amy?"
"Well...she's smart. She's tough. She doesn't take crap from anybody."
"Like Mandy."
"Excuse me?" Josh cried.
"You once used those exact same words to describe Mandy back when you were going."
"I thought we agreed we were never going to mention her ever again. And when did I ever say Mandy was smart and tough?"
"Uh, Dallas, before the fundraiser. You two had just broken up for the second time in two weeks and you were debating with yourself - literally, I might add - whether or not you should get back together."
"Well, that's an unsettling thought," Josh said throwing down his pen.
"The thought of Mandy or the idea that Amy is a lot like Mandy?"
"She is not like-Amy is-Can we talk about something else please?" Josh shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Turn on your monitor."
"Why?"
"Do you want to ask questions or do you want you to actually give something to Amy when you see her in an hour and 37 minutes?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Since you're having such a hard time with this task, you're just going to have to get a little help from a muse. Or a ghostwriter."
"What are you talking about?" Josh asked, perplexed.
"Go online. Type in thelovelettergenerator.com."
"Thelovelettergenerator.com? You mean to tell me that there's website out there that will write a love letter for you? This country really is going to hell in a hand basket," he whispered to himself.
"Hey, Mr. Shakespeare, I don't see you sprouting love sonnets anytime soon. Beggars can't be choosers. Just shut up and click on the little envelope icon. The one with the pink hearts surrounding it."
"Oh, this is just pathetic."
"Okay, now the Love Letter Generator gives you a bunch of choices as to what to say. You can choose your greeting. See here," she pointed while she spoke, leaning in close over the desk, brushing Josh's arm in the process, "you can pick 'dearest,' 'to my one and only,' 'my darling,' 'pookie'..."
"I don't really call Amy any of these things," Josh said, tilting his head.
"Well, we can be thankful for that." She quickly turned her attention back to the screen before Josh could meet her eyes.
"Now just go at it. You can chose up to ten different lines. Keep clicking and a new line will appear."
" 'I wake up every morning and I'm grateful to be with you?' 'I never thought life would ever be like this?' 'You are the best thing that ever happened to me?' Donna, I can't use any of these," Josh frowned.
"Why not?"
"Because none of this stuff is true," he exclaimed, slowly realizing the implication behind his words.
"Oh," she answered, moving away from the computer screen.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you just write 'Happy Valentine's Day' in a card? That's simple."
"I don't have a card, remember?"
"Hang on." Donna got up and went to her cubicle. Josh watched as she pulled out a greeting card from her top drawer.
"Are you running a Hallmark store from your desk?" he asked as she came back into the room.
"Here." She tossed the card on his blotter.
Josh picked up the card. It had a large bouquet of pink roses on the cover. "What are you doing with greeting cards in your desk?"
"I was going to send that one to my sister, but with the divorce finally coming through, she's decided to skip Valentine's this year." Donna stood in the doorway, unsure if she should seat down again.
"It's kind of girly," he finally said.
"Just use the damn thing." She turned to walk away.
"Thanks."
She smiled, but before turning away again she decided to try something. "I'd imagine that since you didn't remember to get Amy anything for Valentine's Day, you also didn't get me anything."
"I'm supposed to get you something?" he asked, quizzically.
"Some bosses have been known to do get their assistants a token of their appreciation on Valentine's Day. Like chocolate or flowers or the new Jewel CD perhaps. You know, stuff like that." Her eyes glittered as she spoke.
"I'll tell you what. You can have the night off tomorrow so what's-his-face can take you out. And you don't even have to come back to the office after dinner."
"Thanks, Josh, but I'm flying solo this Valentine's Day."
"What happened with the guy?"
"It didn't work out. But don't think that just because I'm not going to be out on a date that I'll still stay tomorrow night while off doing all the lovemaking."
"Please don't call it that," he said as he rubbed his left eye. "Go home. It's late."
Donna paused before she spoke. "All right. Night, Josh." She left the room and reached to shut down her computer.
"Donna?" She turned and saw him leaning against the doorpost. "It wasn't just the Christmas spirit that made me write that note. I really did mean every word of it."
"I know, Josh." She pulled on her coat and turned off her light before heading for the lobby.
Josh watched her go and sighed under his breath, "I still do."
The next morning Donna got into the office before seven even though she knew Josh had an early breakfast meeting on the Hill. When she got to her desk, she found an exquisite bouquet of half a dozen pink roses arranged in a vase in front of her computer.
She smiled, picking up the card. "A dozen would have killed him?"
Spoilers: recent season three stuff; like H.C.-172, The Two Bartlets
The Love Letter Generator
******
"DON-NA!"
Donna, startled for a moment to hear the interruption coming from the unusual quietness of Josh's office, closed the file she was reading and got up from her desk.
"Yeah, Josh?"
"Donna, tomorrow's Valentine's Day," he said with a hint of bewilderment in his voice.
"I know that, Josh."
"Well, I didn't. You're supposed to keep me abreast of things like this."
"Abreast?" Donna asked, trying to stifle her laughter.
"What? It's a word."
"Josh, you have a calendar on your desk. In fact, it even has little hearts with lace dollies announcing the day to you all month long. It's not part of my job description to remind you to be romantic on certain days of the year."
"It should be," he mumbled.
Donna paused for a moment, wondering whether she should say what she was thinking. "I'm surprised Amy didn't remind you, or is she anti-Valentine's Day?"
Josh exhaled deeply. "I don't know. She's been at a domestic violence conference in Seattle for couple of days, and we've only talked on the phone a few times. The last time we got off the phone I said I'd pick her up at the airport on Wednesday night, but then she pointed out that her plane was landing at 12:05 am, which technically makes it early Thursday morning."
"So Amy's into cryptic talk?" Donna asked, sitting down in the guest chair.
"No, not really, I don't...It's only been a month, but a month is a long enough time together to celebrate Valentine's Day, right?"
"Josh, a day is long enough time." She waited a moment before adding, "Did you want something when you called me in here or do you just want to bitch to me about your love life?"
"Donna, I'm being serious here. Amy's plane lands in, like, two and a half hours and I don't have a thing for her."
"All right, all right. Calm down. Why don't you write Amy a mushy little love letter and then you can pick up some flowers at the airport?"
Josh scowled and raised his eyebrows. "A love letter? You want me to write a love letter?"
"Yes," Donna replied, arching her shoulders.
"To Amy?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because it's something guys do for their girlfriends on Valentine's Day, Josh."
Josh sighed loudly. "I don't know how to write a love letter," he mumbled under his breath.
"I didn't quite get that," Donna teasingly strained to hear as she leaned in closer in her chair.
"I don't know how to write a love letter."
"I find that very hard to believe, Josh. Just take out a piece a paper and write."
"I'm not Sam."
"Oh, quit whining, ya big baby," she said over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.
A half hour later, Donna peaked her head into Josh's office. "How's it coming?"
"It's not," he groaned, balling up another sheet of paper and adding it to the pile he had already made.
Planting herself down in the chair again, she reached across the desk for one of the discarded papers.
"Hey!" Josh jumped out of his seat on the defensive to snatch the rumbled paper from Donna's hand.
"What? I can't read it?"
"Not those," he said, self-consciously. "Those aren't any good."
"C'mon, Josh. Amy's plane is probably somewhere over Indiana by now. Just write anything. I'm sure that note you wrote in my Christmas present a few years back didn't take this long. Why is this any different?" Donna stopped herself, embarrassed by the suggestion of her last question.
"I'll have you know that that note went through several drafts before I was finished with it!"
Donna's face broke out in a deep grin. "Really?"
"Yeah, well, I was infected with the Christmas spirit at the time."
"Of course," replied Donna, swallowing hard. "So love letter for Amy. What seems to be the problem?"
"I don't know. I'm just not feeling it, I guess."
"Well, um...you could write about how you feel about her? Or things about her that you like? Why do you like Amy?" she asked, wishing to cover up her feelings of uneasiness.
"What kind of question is that?"
"It's a question, Josh. It'll help with the letter. Why do you like Amy?"
"Well...she's smart. She's tough. She doesn't take crap from anybody."
"Like Mandy."
"Excuse me?" Josh cried.
"You once used those exact same words to describe Mandy back when you were going."
"I thought we agreed we were never going to mention her ever again. And when did I ever say Mandy was smart and tough?"
"Uh, Dallas, before the fundraiser. You two had just broken up for the second time in two weeks and you were debating with yourself - literally, I might add - whether or not you should get back together."
"Well, that's an unsettling thought," Josh said throwing down his pen.
"The thought of Mandy or the idea that Amy is a lot like Mandy?"
"She is not like-Amy is-Can we talk about something else please?" Josh shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Turn on your monitor."
"Why?"
"Do you want to ask questions or do you want you to actually give something to Amy when you see her in an hour and 37 minutes?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Since you're having such a hard time with this task, you're just going to have to get a little help from a muse. Or a ghostwriter."
"What are you talking about?" Josh asked, perplexed.
"Go online. Type in thelovelettergenerator.com."
"Thelovelettergenerator.com? You mean to tell me that there's website out there that will write a love letter for you? This country really is going to hell in a hand basket," he whispered to himself.
"Hey, Mr. Shakespeare, I don't see you sprouting love sonnets anytime soon. Beggars can't be choosers. Just shut up and click on the little envelope icon. The one with the pink hearts surrounding it."
"Oh, this is just pathetic."
"Okay, now the Love Letter Generator gives you a bunch of choices as to what to say. You can choose your greeting. See here," she pointed while she spoke, leaning in close over the desk, brushing Josh's arm in the process, "you can pick 'dearest,' 'to my one and only,' 'my darling,' 'pookie'..."
"I don't really call Amy any of these things," Josh said, tilting his head.
"Well, we can be thankful for that." She quickly turned her attention back to the screen before Josh could meet her eyes.
"Now just go at it. You can chose up to ten different lines. Keep clicking and a new line will appear."
" 'I wake up every morning and I'm grateful to be with you?' 'I never thought life would ever be like this?' 'You are the best thing that ever happened to me?' Donna, I can't use any of these," Josh frowned.
"Why not?"
"Because none of this stuff is true," he exclaimed, slowly realizing the implication behind his words.
"Oh," she answered, moving away from the computer screen.
"Yeah."
"Why don't you just write 'Happy Valentine's Day' in a card? That's simple."
"I don't have a card, remember?"
"Hang on." Donna got up and went to her cubicle. Josh watched as she pulled out a greeting card from her top drawer.
"Are you running a Hallmark store from your desk?" he asked as she came back into the room.
"Here." She tossed the card on his blotter.
Josh picked up the card. It had a large bouquet of pink roses on the cover. "What are you doing with greeting cards in your desk?"
"I was going to send that one to my sister, but with the divorce finally coming through, she's decided to skip Valentine's this year." Donna stood in the doorway, unsure if she should seat down again.
"It's kind of girly," he finally said.
"Just use the damn thing." She turned to walk away.
"Thanks."
She smiled, but before turning away again she decided to try something. "I'd imagine that since you didn't remember to get Amy anything for Valentine's Day, you also didn't get me anything."
"I'm supposed to get you something?" he asked, quizzically.
"Some bosses have been known to do get their assistants a token of their appreciation on Valentine's Day. Like chocolate or flowers or the new Jewel CD perhaps. You know, stuff like that." Her eyes glittered as she spoke.
"I'll tell you what. You can have the night off tomorrow so what's-his-face can take you out. And you don't even have to come back to the office after dinner."
"Thanks, Josh, but I'm flying solo this Valentine's Day."
"What happened with the guy?"
"It didn't work out. But don't think that just because I'm not going to be out on a date that I'll still stay tomorrow night while off doing all the lovemaking."
"Please don't call it that," he said as he rubbed his left eye. "Go home. It's late."
Donna paused before she spoke. "All right. Night, Josh." She left the room and reached to shut down her computer.
"Donna?" She turned and saw him leaning against the doorpost. "It wasn't just the Christmas spirit that made me write that note. I really did mean every word of it."
"I know, Josh." She pulled on her coat and turned off her light before heading for the lobby.
Josh watched her go and sighed under his breath, "I still do."
The next morning Donna got into the office before seven even though she knew Josh had an early breakfast meeting on the Hill. When she got to her desk, she found an exquisite bouquet of half a dozen pink roses arranged in a vase in front of her computer.
She smiled, picking up the card. "A dozen would have killed him?"