Greetings my fellow gay wads. You want more o' this shit? Then you fucking got's it baby!
Filthy Grandpa Granger stumbled out of the bar pissed out of his head. But before he left the premises he took a large breath and called back through the door "you blasphemous dope fiend immigrant fucks! You're all on the fuckin' social. Piss off back where you came frum!"
He decided to act like a complete wigga and moonwalked home at 45 miles an hour.
He banged loudly on the Granger family front door and yelled through the mail slot, in a beer induced trance he incoherently yelled a load of random swears and insults through the mail slot. "HEY! YOU FUCK'UN PIGS LET ME IN THIS HERE FUCK'UN HOUSE BE'FER I BURN THIS FUCK HOLE DOWN! BASTARD CUNTS, YOUR ALL LIVING ON WELLFARE!"
Grandpa Granger was also high on shit.
A few moments passed as Grandpa Granger argued with the door knocker. The mail slot opened and Tyson's podging fat ignorant lips poked out "You're not allowed in you smelly old goat"
BANG!!!
Grandpa Ganger punched the mail slot closed and smashed Tyson's mouth. "OUCH!!!"
"BASTARD" yelled the old fuck.
Meanwhile inside the house, the beauty of true love was beginning to bloom. Heero had a cheeky smile on his face as he pressed play on the cd player
"You sexy motherfucker…" the song by Prince began
"Why Tyson, your lips have gone purple, let me paint them white" said Heero as he slipped out of his chinos.
"Gee that sounds swell" said Tyson. He handled Heero's tadger like a lipstick and rubbed it in circles round his chubby mouth.
But whut wuz this? Ray who just so happened to be sleeping over that night. Strolled downstairs in a lime green thong and said "How about a three-be?"
"Git yur hot, yellow, chinky, chi chi man ass over here an' I'll show you how we do thaaaaaaaangs down town" commanded hero
Ray nodded compliantly and walked to the sofa
Heero threw him on the couch "You take it" You take it now"
"Hold yur fuckin' horses let me take a whack at him you disgusting animal" yelled Tyson's grandpa through the mail slot.
"I can git him frum here PRESENT HIS RUMP TO ME!!!" Tyson separated Rays butt cheeks in preparation for Granpa Grangers 58 inch dong. Like a coiled cobra, it shot through the mail slot like a bolt of greased lightning; reaching far across the room. It annihilated Ray's Cadbury canal like a fuckin A bomb.
"How ja like that you fuckin punk?" panted Granpa Granger, his body slamm'in up against the door.
"I wish for more" replied Ray greedily
"You want more you got more baby!"
Grandpa Granger withdrew from Ray, and did his secret chink, jap, slope, dink, wet back martial arts shit and smashed the door down.
"I'll show you boys a thing 'r two" he said in a cowboy voice. "All of you, SIT ON THE COUCH AND PAY FUCKING ATTENTION!!!"
The boys obeyed. Granpa granger ran to the kitchen and grabbed the maple surp and a table spoon. He returned to the living room and proceeded to drop his palm tree covered Bermuda shorts and liberally smeared the surp over his big fat, hairy, pimple infested, Turkish Ukrainey butt cheeks.
"I haven't wiped my ass since Nam – you boys 'r in fur a fuggun treat"
Tyson got on up off the couch and lovingly hugged his granddad, and sweetly requested "Grandpa? Can we have have stinky num nums please?" in a Daniel Larusso voice
Granpa granger was utterly outraged "…………….You cheeky little bastard, YOU'LL GIT WHAT YER GIV'UN!" and with that he smashed Tyson into the bookcase for no god damn reason.
Alas! A knock at the back door. T'was Kai and Mr Dickinson!
"We heard there was a party in these here parts" smiled Kai.
"Well daddio there sure is a party goin' down but we don't know if you can jive to our toons" replied Heero.
Kai ripped off his Velcro crotch "you sure about that?"
"My god….i-its you!!!.....you're the Phoenix!!!!" gasped Heero.
"STOP RIGHT THERE…Before we go any further, I request that from this moment hence, you refer to me as…" Kai curled up his lips like Elvis and replied"…. Antoine"
"Why yes….ANYTHING YOU SAY, ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU TEACH ME YOUR YAOI SKILLS!!!"
Mr Dickinson exploded with rage and thumped the coffee table with his fist; the room fell silent.
"You mother fuckerz wanna hear any more shit talk or shall we just get down to business!"
Grandpa Granger whipped out his king-kong-kock and began strumming.
"Well hokey fuckin pokey then!"
Then, the true beauty began; everyone got naked and formed a line. Granpa Granger lead the way, then Heero, Tyson, Ray, Kai and finally Mr Dickinson, in an epic butt-bashing, penis pumping, cock jiving conga line.
"Is every fucker ready?!"
"YES MASTER!" cried everyone in unison.
"THEN THRUST MY COMRADES! THRUST LIKE YOU'VE NEVER THRUSTED BEFORE!!!!!!"
With a great cheer, they thrusted forward with the force of one-hundred-thousand bison! All let out a great cry of ecstasy as buttocks and penis alike fused with each other; the stink was fucking incredible…
"OH YEAH! That hit the fucking spot! NOW COME MY BRETHREN, LET US PROCEDE DOWNTOWN AND SHOW THE IGNORANT, CLEAN LIVING, TAX PAYING, LAW ABIDING NORMS WHOM WE RELY ON TO PAY FOR OUR EXPENSIVE AND EXTENSIVE MEDICAL TREATMENT AFTER WE HAVE BUM SEX AND CONTRACT AIDS, THE BEAUTY OF OUR LIFESTYLE!
"YES MASTER!"
Initially it felt bearable, but then, the group painfully took a step forward. Moaning with extreme pain; the line almost collapsed. It felt like thunder and lightning was striking everyone's bum'oles.
"OH FUCK!" squealed Tyson with tears in his eyes. The urge to leave the yaoi conga line of enlightenment was great, the pain was so immense, and this was only the first step…
"DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP TYSON! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!" yelled Heero, whom also was in agony.
"…But it hurts!" croaked Tyson.
"Yes my Brother, it hurts, I'm in pain also, but together we can climb any mountain, swim any ocean, together; we are unbreakable!"
Tyson wiped away his tears, his heart on fire.
"…yes, YES! YOUR RIGHT, WE CAN DO IF WE WORK TOGETHER!" beamed Tyson.
"THAT'S IT!" cheered Granpa Granger, proud of his grandsons "NOW ONWARDS, HERE WE FUK'UN GO!" cheered Granpa granger, the group had reached fever pitch and let out a great cheer. With iron discipline, the group shuffled awkwardly out of the front door, moaning and grunting with every step. They eventually got the hang of it and almost in a military manner marched out into the pitch black street (Still with their cocks up each others asses) and steamed downtown to change the destiny of the universe.
The journey of enlightenment had begun…
People of all races, creeds, religions and colors lined both sides of the busy street and watched on in horror at what was taking place. The sheer shock of it all was immense.
"Whut are you fuck'un norms looking at!" roared Granpa, his 134 inch knob swaying out in front like a barge pole. "GAY PRIDE WORLD WIDE!"
There was a huge tailback of traffic behind the line of enlightenment; horns blaring, but they didn't care, this was a journey of spirituality and all would soon understand this holy quest, one way or another…
In a matter of seconds the evil racist nazi police came to destroy paradise, like the Lombard's descending on the eternal city of Rome to plunder it riches. Two cop cars screeched to a halt in front of the sacred band of brothers.
"Jesus Christ what is this, GET AWAY FROM THE CHILDREN!" bellowed the police, drawing their pistols.
Grandpa granger closed his eyes and smiled, the sweet night air ruffled his moustache, as if sent by the all mighty himself. He inhaled deeply through his nose and opened his eyes.
"My brothers, it has been the greatest honour of my life to have known you, this night we delivered a message the norms they will never forget…Rest assured I shall see you all on the other side. I love you all." Granpa Granger faced the police, a thunderous look of total defiance shown on his face. "FUCK YOU!"
The police looked at each other in total confusion, what the fuck was going on! "We will open fire if you don't cease and desist!"
"Granpa I'm scared!" whined Tyson.
"Don't be my son, for we shall all go to heaven"
The police lost their patience and charged them with their batons. Granpa Granger was beaten to the ground, as was Mr Dickinson. Both we're then promptly arrested and sent to the slammer forever. As for the boys, they we're taken to the psychiatric ward at the local hospital for extensive threapy.
Fin?