Hello all, I hope you enjoy my story. This takes place in the Department of Mysteries in Book 5, just after Sirius is killed by Bellatrix. I cannot express how grateful I would be for a review, so please take a minute to tell me what you thought!
Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Harry. Or Lupin. Or Anyone. Now I'm just sad.
Vaguely, in the back of his consciousness, he was aware of where he was. There was threat everywhere, Death Eaters with daggers for eyes and curses flying over head. There were Aurors running frantically around the scene, shooting their own spells at the masked, sinister figures.
But Remus Lupin could only know two things for certain. One, his reluctant grip on Harry's shoulders was the only thing stopping the young boy from sprinting full force at the mysterious archway and falling to his death. Two, there was nothing Lupin wanted more than to jump right in there with him.
"He's gone," Lupin heard himself whisper, but he could not tell, in that instant, who he was speaking to. "It's too late…"
Moony could remember with a sharp, stabbing pain, what it was like to lose James Potter to Lord Voldemort. That same night, he thought he had lost his other best friend to the dark side. And then, mere days later, Peter was dead, too. Only a small, weak amount of relief had been offered to Lupin when he had seen the name Peter Pettigrew scrambling around on the map. The death of his smallest friend had been much easier to cope with than James and Lily's deaths, or Sirius's unbelievable betrayal.
And then… in the shrieking shack, the place where had frequented as a student in Hogwarts, with his three best friends beside him, he had been reunited with two members of the Marauders he had thought were lost to him forever. Peter, that little weasel, that sneaky, scurvy rat… but Lupin had been slightly alarmed to find he was relieved it was Peter, instead of Sirius. The moment those gaunt, sunken eyes had spoke the truth to him, Moony had pulled Padfoot to his feet and embraced him, to the very understandable horror of the three teenagers standing mere feet away.
Lupin let out a little gasp as Harry broke free of him and ran after Bellatrix in a fit of rage. He nearly ran after him- not to stop him, but to help Harry murder the woman who had taken Sirius from him, just when a piece of his past had been restored to him. Dumbledore had given him once glance to still his motions, and Lupin retreated to a corner to survey the destruction taking place around him. The will to fight, to help, was gone from him.
James was gone, had been gone. Lupin had never quite come to terms with this, but the pain that it brought him now was dull, still hurting, but manageable. Peter was lost to the dark side. This was slightly more fresh news, and it left a trail of fire through his heart. He had been so sweet, so timid when he had known him at school. And now…. Sirius. The last piece he had of himself from when times had been happier. Sirius had always been… Sirius and James had always been the two people in his life he could turn to. The three boys had been inseparable, with little Peter hanging on the edges. Now, he was alone.
He heard an odd noise, a gasping, a ripping noise, and suddenly realized that they were his own sobs. He saw motion and whipped out his wand, but it was only Nymphadora Tonks. She sunk to the floor beside him and Lupin abruptly noticed that the fighting was slowing down, that Dumbledore and Moody were taking care of the few remaining Death Eaters in the room. Lupin noticed Dumbledore hurry out of the department and remembered Harry with a jolt. "Oh God…" Lupin muttered.
"I'm so, so sorry, Remus," Tonks said gently.
"I've left Harry alone, James'll kill me…" he stopped. "James would have killed me. Harry needs me, I'll…"
Tonks placed a hand on his arm. "Dumbledore's with him. How much more could you do?" Lupin nodded at her gentle words and collapsed inward on himself. "He was the last person I had left."
Tonks nodded and a single silver tear had leaked from her bleak eyes. Her hair was not its usual bubbly pink, Lupin noticed with a start. It had turned a stringy black, and Remus suddenly remembered that Sirius had been Tonks' cousin.
"I don't know what to do now," Lupin admitted wearily. "I liked knowing that he was there. I liked knowing that at least half of the Marauders were still… were still good." Lupin ran a shaking hand through his weary hair.
"Marauders?" Tonks asked.
"It's nothing," Lupin said, staring at the archway where his best friend had died. "I can't believe this."
"I know," Tonks muttered. Her hand was still on his shoulder, and he let her keep it there.
He had lost the old Lupin with Sirius, but with some sort of sinking realization Lupin realized he had not truly been his old self since the night James and Lily had died. Even Sirius returning to him had only brought back a tiny piece of his former self. He had liked having it there, but there was no point on trying to get that back. He would be strong, because Harry remained. And as long as there was Harry, James was here. And as long as James was here, Sirius could never truly leave him.
It was with that slightly hopeful thought that Lupin raised himself to his feet and offered Tonks his beaten hand. "We've got more work in front of us," he said, his voice dry with cracking sobs and a shaking fear of the unknown.
"Damn straight," Tonks said with a smile, accepting his hand and hopping lithely to her feet like a little pixy. Her dark hair looked odd against her smiling eyes. "Sirius would be so angry at us if we gave up now."
"I'd never hear the end of it from either of them," Lupin chuckled. It was a mark of Tonks' understanding that she felt no need to ask who Lupin meant by "them." Sirius and James. They'd always be "them." Always.
And now, Lupin realized with a jolt of pain, they could be together again, wherever that may be. And they could go back to their crazy, Marauding ways, Lily could laugh at their foolish antics… and they could all look down on…
Drawing in a deep, important breath, Lupin felt the heavy, burning stare of his departed, dearest friends weighing down on him. They would all look at him and see him stoic, see him protecting Harry, see him fighting with everything he had against the dark forces that had murdered them.
Tonks' hand was warm and tiny inside his own, and Lupin could hardly remember gripping it for comfort. It felt nice there, but this small amount of happiness was doing little to permeate the fog of pain enveloping him.
James. Lily. Sirius. He felt the last name in his throat like a stab wound. They would watch the last true Marauder with fondness in their eyes.
They would be proud.