Jaime and Cersei had been up well into the night, companions in melancholy. They sat a solid three feet away from each other, drinking and barely speaking. Both of their tempers were on edge from loss the past few weeks, and when they did speak, it was only to quarrel. It was in one of their bouts of spite that Cersei claimed that cow, Brienne, was in fact in love with him. She had gathered as much at her son's tragic wedding, and though Jaime shook it off in his sisters presence, her words troubled him. So much so, that he found himself wandering alone through the castle with a bottle of wine, significantly inebriated.
The woman in question was awoken in the middle of the night to a pounding on her door.
"Brienne! Open the door!" A clearly drunk male voice called from out in the hall, and she climbed out of bed, wrapping her dressing gown around her. "Brieeeene!" The voice wailed, and she threw the door open in anger.
"What?!" She stopped when she saw Jaime Lannister, clutching a bottle of wine and leaning against the doorframe.
"Finally!" He pushed past her and stumbled into the room, uninvited. "I've been banging on the door for ages." She closed the door behind him, mystified, and simply stared at him as he acquainted himself with the room.
"Yes, I noticed. Speaking of which; what the bloody hell are you doing banging on my door in the middle of the night?" She demanded, supremely annoyed.
He stared at her hard, clearly trying to get his drunken brain to focus. "Brienne." He slurred out, pointing a finger at her. "Brienne of Tarth, the Sapphire Isle." She just stared at him, and he looked frustrated. "Did you know that they call you Brienne the Beauty?"
She sighed. "Yes, I am quite aware."
He nodded over exaggeratedly, and stumbled around the room a bit. "The Sapphire Isle, full of sapphires. Not really, but it was a nice story." He turned to her, and looked like he was thinking very hard. "You," he swept his arm dramatically toward her, "have sapphires in your eyes." He nodded to himself as if he were a genius. "They're so blue! It's the only explanation!" He harkened on, and her brow furrowed, in confusion and annoyance.
"Ser-"
"Jaime!" He cut her off.
"Excuse me?"
"My name," he drawled, "is Jaime. And I would like you to use it."
"Ser Jaime, you are clearly drunk and in no condition to be out and about. I would advise you to return to your chambers." She opened the door wide, but he didn't budge.
"Where do you get off?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You know, just an hour ago, my sister-the queen-told me that you," he took a few shaky steps toward her, "were in love with me. How about that?" He threw his arms in the air, his voice rising several octaves, incredulous. Brienne stood speechless. "Is that true?" He demanded.
"I said no such thing." She finally managed to defend herself. She quickly shut the door so no one would hear, and gripped the handle tightly, trying to calm herself, purposely keeping her back to the drunken knight.
"Are you calling Cersei a liar?"
She turned slowly back towards him, cautious. "I am simply saying I told her no such thing."
"Then where did she get such an idea?" Despite his clear drunkenness, his eyes were piercing.
"I…I…I did not say that to her." Brienne struggled for words. "She assumed." The woman asserted, and Jaime looked unconvinced, unmoving. "This is very untoward, and I must ask that you leave my chambers at once."
"I'm not leaving. Not until I get to the bottom of this." He plopped down on a chair in the middle of the room.
"Ser Jaime, you are drunk. This is highly inappropriate, and I think you should go."
"Brienne the Beauty, we've had quite a trip. We spent months together, crossing the kingdom, having adventures. Do you remember when I got my hand cut off? Or when I jumped into a bear pit to rescue you?" He slurred, gesturing with his good hand.
"Yes, I seem to recall. Why this must be discussed in the middle of the night-"
He jumped up. "Why not? What's wrong with right now? I want to know if Brienne the Beauty really does love me."
"Jaime," she warned. "do not push me."
"You should be used to it by now. I've done nothing but insult you for months. Why would that make you fall in love with me?"
"I never said-"
He waved her off. "Of course, of course. The mighty Brienne has no weaknesses. She would never confess to caring about anyone but her beloved Renly." He consorted sarcastically, and Brienne could feel herself flushing in anger.
"Please, stop." She beseeched, through gritted teeth.
He didn't appear to have heard her. "Maybe the great warrior has feelings after all. The gods know you've never been touched by a man. Perhaps Renly was safe for you because you knew nothing could ever happen!"
Brienne could feel herself on the brink of tears, and she hated herself for it.
"Imagine the mighty Brienne in love with a Lannister; the Kingslayer no less!" He stood up and strutted around the room. "What would her lady Catelyn have to say about that? What is it about me Brienne? Is it that I'm rich? Hansom? Even you can't be immune to it. Or is it that I'm broken? That you think you've seen a side of me that no one else has? Do you think you're special?" He mocked and she finally lost her control.
"That's enough." She grabbed him harshly by the arm, and in his drunken stupor, he stood no chance against her. Brienne dragged him across the room, shoved him out the door, and slammed it in his face. Her breathing was hard, and she had to lean against the door to support herself. She couldn't believe how much his words hurt her. She forced back the tears. She refused to cry.
"Brienne?" She heard his voice from the other side of the door, and his harsh tone was gone. "Brienne, open the door." He begged, pathetically.
She mustered as much strength into her voice as she could. "Go away." She told him, and prayed her voice didn't betray her pain.
"Brienne, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" He trailed off, and he sounded apologetic.
"You've said quite enough." She heard a banging on the door but it wasn't a fist. From the grunts, she guessed he was knocking his head against the wood. She squeezed her eyes shut and her hand balled into a fist. She hated losing control over herself and he was in a very unique position to torment her.
"I'm sorry! I'm an asshole."
"A drunken asshole." She said, not intending for him to hear, but upon his laugh, she guessed he had.
"I, Jaime Lannister, am a drunken asshole!" He proclaimed, and she couldn't quite keep the smile from her lips, no matter how hard she tried. "Brienne, I'm sorry. Will you please open the door so I can apologize to your face?" He asked, and his question hung in the air. She deliberated for several long moments, before she finally opened the door, half way. She stared at him warily, and he stood quite plainly in the hallway. There was no bravado in his stance. He gazed at her, his face apologetic and sincere. "Can I come in?"
"You didn't feel the need to ask last time." She reminded him.
"We established that I was being a drunken asshole. Can I try to make up for it?" He gestured at the room behind her, and hesitantly, she opened the door wider to let him back in. She closed the door softly behind him, and pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself as she turned to face him. He was staring at her intently.
"You wanted to apologize?" She asked, looking markedly uncomfortable. He nodded. "Well, go ahead then."
"I am sorry. I am sorry for insulting you, and for intruding on you in private. It was very boorish, and I was wrong."
She nodded, not quite trusting herself to speak. She expected him to leave, but he made no move to go. "Is there anything else?" She finally asked, not able to handle the silence between them.
"I haven't been drunk in a very long time." He stated. "Not since I killed the Mad King. I've been painfully sober."
"So why drink now?"
"Killing a king couldn't make me drink, but hearing what my sister said could. Why do you think that is?"
"I couldn't pretend to know." She told him, quietly.
"Do you drink?"
"I like to keep my wits about me." She answered, and he nodded.
"I should have realized." He continued to stare at her, and uncomfortable, she looked anywhere but at him. "As traumatizing as our travels were, I'm glad I was with you. I meant it when I said I trusted you. You've been better to me than most would have. I owe you my life."
"Well I owe you mine as well. Without you, I would have been dinner for a bear. How about we call it even?"
"I'm going to ask you once more." He blurted out, not even bothering to respond to her comments. He had been trying to force the words out, and now that he finally plucked up the guts, he had to go with it. "Partly, because I don't think I'll have the courage after tonight, and because you're about to leave, and I honestly don't want you to go." He admitted, and she finally looked up at him, shocked. He simply shrugged in response. "I've gotten used to having you around. I've never had a companion who challenged me like you do."
"You've been challenging." She countered, and he smiled.
"It's in my nature."
Silence hung in the air, and they stared at each other. Jaime's eyes were piercing, and Brienne shifted uncomfortably. "What do you want Ser Jaime?" Brienne finally asked, and his brow furrowed.
"I don't know. I always thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure." He took a step toward her, and she tensed. "I make you uncomfortable." He stated. It wasn't a question.
"At the moment." She confessed. He took another step toward her.
"You scare the hell out of me, Brienne." he admitted, and he was now only a foot away from her. She normally stood a bit taller than him, but at the moment, barefoot in her dressing gown, they were almost exactly the same height. It was odd to be able to look directly at each other. She looked remarkably vulnerable, and he realized the physical armor she normally wore protected more than just her body-it protected her heart, her mind, and her soul.
"Ser…" She warned, her voice low. He could feel how his proximity affected her, and he felt alarmingly exposed in her presence. He felt like he was baring his soul.
"Is it true?" He finally asked, and she knew what he was talking about. Her mouth opened to protest, but the words wouldn't come. She couldn't answer, but he could see it in her eyes-she cared for him deeply, and she was just as scared as he was, if not more. She had built walls around herself-for good reason-and he was leaping over them as if they were nothing but castles in the sand. He was very grateful for the alcohol fueled courage his suddenly possessed, because he reached forward with is good hand, and took her hand in his. She looked mildly panicked, and every nerve in her body screamed at her to run. "Say my name." He requested, and his tone was remarkably unguarded. She took several long breaths, her eyes locked in his gaze before she complied.
"Jaime." She whispered, and he could read the frenzy behind her eyes. She was battling herself-her feelings for the man in front of her versus her life-long need to protect herself. He steeled himself, preparing for the likely possibility that she would slug him, and leaned forward to kiss her. She held deathly still as his lips pressed against hers, and after a few brief moments it was over. He gazed at her questioningly, and she just looked lost.
"Did you just-?" She choked out, and he nodded.
"I think so. Honestly, I thought you were going to hit me." He chuckled. She didn't laugh. He could hear her breathing accelerated.
"I…" She stuttered, struggling for words. He contemplated that kiss-her lips were surprisingly soft, and he felt a jolt down to his toes as he thought about what it would be like to kiss her again.
"Are you angry with me?" He finally asked. She shook her head, and looked as if she were just as surprised as he was with her response. "Please talk to me."
"I don't know what to say." She told him, stepping back, as if she needed to clear her head. After a moment, her head jolted up and she stared at him warily. "Don't toy with me, Jaime."
"I wouldn't dare." He teased, but she could read the sincerity in his voice.
"Then what are you doing? You've demanded whether I have feelings for you, which despite my better judgement, I seem to. What about you? Does the mighty Jaime Lannister feel anything for Brienne the Beauty?" She spat out harshly, but he knew she was terrified. She masked her emotions in ferocity and fighting. He didn't let her bait him into fighting with her; instead he was honest.
"Well clearly, or I wouldn't have kissed you." He stated, matter-of-factly, and she looked shocked. "I surprise myself sometimes. Now the real question is, are you going to let me kiss you again? Because I certainly want to."
"Are you serious?" She asked, without really meaning to, her eyes confused and wondrous. She couldn't seem to process that he was truly attracted to her.
"Quite serious." He replied. "Don't get me wrong, I've questioned my sanity over this issue, but it seems you have more allure than you think. I suppose being honest about one's feelings to another person is remarkably intimate, and I find myself craving your presence, no matter how infuriatingly high and mighty you tend to be. Really, your sense of honor is exhausting." He teased her, and she cracked a smile.
"Well aren't you full of surprises?"
"So I've been told." He stepped toward her again. "Now, can I kiss you again, or should I leave you alone?" She looked slightly awe-struck by his declaration, but she inclined her head toward him and he took it as an invitation. He pressed his lips to hers a second time, and this time with more force. She surprised both of them when she responded to him, and her heart sped up when his hand came to her waist. She suddenly became very aware of everywhere he touched her, and pulled away from him abruptly. She took a few steps backward, and turned away.
"Brienne?"
"I think you should go." She told him, with a slight tremor in her voice.
"Are you alright?" He asked gingerly, and she didn't respond. He put his hand on her shoulder and she jumped. "I didn't think anyone could sneak up on you."
"I don't know what's happening to me." She murmured, and he realized how difficult this must be for her. She had probably gone her whole life assuming she would never be intimate with anyone, and here was Jaime Lannister, practically asking to make love to her.
"Brienne." He ventured, his voice gentle, and suddenly she turned around and kissed him fiercely. He was shocked, but responded with a fervor to match hers. He pulled at the tie of her dressing gown, and the image of her naked flashed in his mind. She was muscular to be sure, but she had a surprisingly womanly figure that he couldn't wait to see again. He pulled her back towards her bed, and she helped him to undress. His golden hand offered him balance in aesthetics, but was hardly functional. She had to admit, there was a wonderful symmetry to their lovemaking. He saved her virtue only to take it himself. As they lay in each others arms, she found that she was perfectly okay with it. She had wondered plenty what it would feel like, but never did she imagine she would lie with Jaime Lannister, and that it would feel the way it did.
"Don't let me regret this, Jaime." She told him, as her head lay on his chest, recalling what had just transpired between the two of them.
His hand stroked her arm, breathing her in. He had never been with anyone besides Cersei, and he was glad it was Brienne. He wanted desperately to tell her that, but he knew he couldn't. "How would I do that?"
"You've called me a wench all you want, but I won't be degraded like one."
"You think this doesn't mean anything to me?" He questioned, shocked.
"How should I know?"
"I thought you knew me."
"Do I?"
Jaime sat up and looked down at her as she rolled onto her back, gazing up at him. "Do you trust me?"
She nodded. He grinned and kissed her briefly.
"Then trust my affections for you, Brienne, my Beauty. After everything we've been through, I would not dishonor you so." He dubbed her, affectionately, and he delighted in seeing a smile-a true smile-cross her face. He so rarely saw her smile, and he felt a surge of affection for her. "Who would have thought?"
They both knew that in just a few days, she would depart to find the Stark girls-an oath she would keep, no matter her involvement with the Lannister heir. He knew this, and as much as it pained him to know that she would soon leave him, he respected her all the more for it. She was stoic as ever when he saw her the following day, acting as if nothing had happened, save for the glances they shared. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her every time she was near, and when he finally got her alone, it was to give her gifts. He wished he could give her more, but he knew that new armor and a sword of Valyrian steel were priceless to her. Besides, he got all the gratification he needed at the look in her eyes when she beheld them. As they were alone, they shared a few kisses, but both of them knew that all too soon, they would not be able lie together-not for a good deal of time to come.
When the day of her departure finally arrived, they both felt hollow. Jaime had joined her the night before, and they avoided talk of her journey. They said their sweet farewell before he left her bedchamber, so when he arrived to see her off, they did their best to remain inconspicuous to onlookers. In light of her excursion and her allegiance to the Starks, word of their relationship could not spread. His heart broke at the pain in her eyes as he said goodbye. He hated to think how long it would be before they saw each other again; if ever they saw each other again. Ever the warrior, she trudged forward, trying to drown her pain in her sense of duty. But, as she started down the road, she glanced back at him, and her expression could not be mistaken. Her eyes said I love you, and he nodded, pained. He had a sharp sense of melancholy as she grew fainter and fainter in the distance, and when he finally turned away, he felt like a part of him was gone. Until we meet again, my love. He thought, as he and Bronn made their way back to the Red Keep.
Please review and favorite! Thank you, and Jaime x Brienne forever!