This is the sequel to my story "A Special Patient", so if you haven't read it, please do, though it's not necessary... this prologue is really the epilogue from "A Special Patient" so if you read "A Special Patient" you can skip this chapter and go on with chapter 1...

This story starts with ESme's changing and tells about her life after Carlisle found her and their developing love... I hope you like it! Enjoy! And remember, reviews make me happy!

A Special World

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." T.S. Elliot

1921, Ashland, Wisconsin

PROLOGUE

Esme's POV

I stared at the tiny bundle in my arms. My son. He was so beautiful. His tiny hands and fingers, his cute little face, these round blue eyes which were now closed, forever closed. Another sob rose in my throat but no tears fell. I had cried too much in these last hours. I had no more tears to shed. My son was dead, my only reason to live…

I had given birth to him only a few days ago. My beautiful baby boy… He was perfect and strong. But then he started to get a fever. I was worried sick and took him to the hospital but I couldn't pay a doctor. I waited for hours while my little boy got weaker and weaker in my arms. I was suffering as much as he was. I saw how he struggled for every breath and I would do everything to ease his suffering but I was powerless.

After hours a doctor finally examined my baby but the diagnosis was devastating. He had a lung infection and would probably not make it through the night. I broke down right then. I had nothing else in this life. Only him, my son, my Carl. I had run away from my husband to protect him from a cruel life full of violence and now I realised that I had failed at that also. I had failed at protecting my son. I had no chance to help him. I couldn't pay a doctor or medicine. The doctor told me that even if I had money there would be no way to save my baby but I felt so useless, knowing I could do nothing. I couldn't even try to save him. What kind of mother was I?

The doctor took pity on me and took me to a room where I could stay overnight. I held my son in my arms these last hours, telling him stories of my childhood, sang to him, tried to ease his suffering with my love for him. I even told him about the man he was named after. The angel I met when I was sixteen, who I spent the best days of my life with. I didn't know why I chose this name for my son, perhaps because I wished to have something to keep my memories alive or because I wanted to name my son after the best person I had ever met so I could tell him about the doctor and create an idol for him, or perhaps because I secretly wished that this doctor was the father of my boy.

With every minute that passed the breaths of my little Carl became more laboured. His breath was ragged and it pierced my heart to hear him suffer. I shed countless tears while I held him and cooed to him, trying to calm him down. It was over before the first rays of sunlight could be seen over the horizon.

I held my little one for hours, rocking his dead body in my arms while my body shook with sobs and tears streamed down my face. I cradled him against my body until the nurses came and took him from my arms. I didn't let go easy but the doctor finally managed to get hold of my boy's body. The nurse stayed to comfort me but I wasn't feeling pain anymore. I felt nothing. I was numb. Empty. My only reason for living – gone. I had failed at everything in life. I disappointed my parents as a child, I was a horrible wife and now my child died… I wasn't even capable of being a mother…

A nurse was accompanying me home. The doctor was worried and didn't want me to be alone. I didn't object. Nothing mattered anymore. I was just an empty sheath. My soul had died right along with my little boy. After arriving in my shabby one-room apartment I simply sat down on the bed and stared at the wall, but I didn't see anything. Not really. I didn't even notice how and when the nurse left. I didn't feel anything. I was dead, mentally at least.

Outside the day slowly changed into night and a decision formed in my head. I was alone now, I had no money, nothing to live for… My life was not worth living. I stood up and left the apartment, not even bothering to put on a coat. I wouldn't need it. Not where I was going…

I stumbled through the city without seeing anything. Once or twice I bumped into someone, but I didn't look up, I didn't apologise, I just kept going.

After a while I came to the outskirts of the city and followed a stony path up the hills. The wind ripped at my dress and I was probably freezing, the sharp stones stabbed into my feet, but I didn't feel any of it.

I arrived at the top of the cliffs. Underneath me were razor sharp rocks against which the waves crashed. The sun was just setting in the west. Everything was bathed in a red light. It was perfect. The end of the day would also be the end of her suffering. I stepped closer to the edge, looking down. About 50 feet below me the waves flooded a narrow beach before they crashed against sharp rocks. I stood on the very edge of the cliff and took a shuddering breath. The sun was casting a red light over everything. For one last time I pictured two faces before my eyes – the tiny face of my son and the face of my angel, Carlisle; then I stepped into thin air…

Carlisle's POV

I was arriving for another shift at the hospital and went to the front desk to ask where I should work tonight. "Good evening, Mrs Morel , I just wondered where I should work tonight…" he said smiling. The elder nurse smiled at him. "Ah, yes Dr Cullen, I fear you have to work in the morgue tonight again…" I gave her a polite smile, after it wasn't her fault I had to work down there. "Well, at least it wouldn't be too stressful there." I sighed lowly and went down into the morgue. I would have preferred a busy night in the emergency room instead of sitting in the morgue all night. It was calm down there and would give me much time to dwell on my thoughts.

I did that often lately. I changed Edward three years ago and he was living with me since then. I had grown to love him like a son and we were both grateful for the company. I really enjoyed my life with Edward. He had adjusted to my life style very well and we were having a good relationship. It was great having someone to talk to and share experiences, but I still felt that there was something missing. At first Edward had been the companion I craved for so long and I was happy to not be alone any more. But I still wanted more.

I sat down behind the desk and sighed. My mind drifted away. I couldn't place this loneliness. I wasn't lonely, I had Edward, but I wanted a different kind of companion. I yearned for more than simple conversations, but I didn't really know for what… I just knew I felt lonely, terrible lonely. There was a part in my heart that Edward simply couldn't reach.

I hated the morgue. It was so silent here and it smelled like death. I knew that the people down here where much closer to me than the living and breathing humans a few floors upstairs. But I felt terrible among the dead. And the loneliness was much more present here. I sighed again and let my mind drift back 10 years.

I was working in Ashland at that time. One night I was called to treat a broken leg. This leg belonged to the most charming person I had ever met. Esme. She was 16 but acted really mature. I was intrigued by her. She was beautiful, charming, intelligent, humorous and so loving… I spent every minute I could with her and was getting far more attached than I should…

I had often wondered what had become of her. She would be 26 now, probably married. I wondered if she had become a teacher. I imagined her in primary school in front of a class of curious children. How she would teach them to write their names or draw with them. I smiled at the image. I could see it clearly in my head. Her caramel curls framing her face when she bent over her pupil's work to check it, her smile. I wondered if she had kids… A little girl perhaps, a perfect copy of her beautiful self, with little caramel curls running around in a garden, climbing trees… or a boy… for some odd reason I could only picture a boy with blond hair who ran around a house and explored everything… But still, the image made me smile. I knew Esme would be a wonderful mother…

The sound of a stretcher being wheeled down the corridor ripped me out of my thoughts. I stood up. The smell of blood, lots of blood, hung into the air. I heard some doctors talking. She's not going to make it… No use of trying… I was disgusted by their talk. How could they give up on a life so easy? As doctors we have taken an oath to fight for every life. As I opened the door to the hallway I was hit by an intoxicating scent like a wrecking ball. I stumbled backwards. My knees were suddenly weak. I knew this scent. I would never forget it. Esme. Fear hit me so hard that I felt as if bile may be rising in my throat. I swallowed.

"Ah, Dr Cullen, we got someone for you... dead… jumped off a cliff…suicide…" One of my colleagues said as if it doesn't matter. A sudden wave of anger came over me. I wanted to rip the head of this doctor off who refused to fight for her life. I could hear her heart beating. It was weak but it was beating. Hope filled me. Her heart was still beating. She was still alive…

I clenched my jaw and tried to get a hold on myself. "Dr Lewis, I take it from here." I said in an icy voice and nearly shoved him away from Esme's body on the stretcher. He backed away, shooting me frightened and confused glances. I ignored him and dismissed him rather impolite, but I only had one thing on my mind – Esme.

Every fibre in my body was focussed on her weakening heart beat as I wheeled her inside the morgue. I closed the door behind me and ran back to Esme. Very slowly I lifted the thin sheet that covered her from her face. "Oh Esme…" I whispered hoarsely as I saw her. She was even more beautiful as when I last saw her. She had grown into a stunning woman, even now with her body mangled and bloodstained she was breathtaking.

I slowly bent down to take a closer look at her. Her auburn hair was wet and caked with blood, she had a large gash over her right temple and probably also broken her jaw. I continued my examination, endlessly careful pressing on her body. She had multiple fractured ribs, her arms and legs were broken, her spine also, her whole body was covered in bruises… I knew she was beyond anything medicine could fix and this realisation was making my whole body ache in a terrible way. I gasped several times before I was able to regain my composure. My thoughts were running a mile a second. I was almost petrified with all the emotions running through my body.

After a few seconds of deep breathing I knew what to do. I could never let Esme die. I couldn't survive without her. Very slowly and gently as not to hurt her more I lifted her up from the stretcher and put the thin cotton sheet around her. With one last glance at everything I left the morgue through a window.

I landed outside and looked around. No one was to be seen. Finally it seemed I had a stroke of luck. I started to run. As fast as I had never run before, praying that I wouldn't be too late, willing her heart to continue beating…

Esme's POV

The wind rushed past me. I didn't know what that meant. Was I still falling? I felt the pain coming back. I couldn't pinpoint it. My whole body seemed broken. Every single bone. I could not breathe, it hurt so much. I must have broken my ribs… I felt something cold against my skin. It felt good. It was numbing the pain… I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't… I could not move any part of my body. Suddenly my position was changed and the pain flamed up again, I yelped, then everything went black…

Carlisle's POV

I had to adjust Esme's position in my arms shortly before we arrived at the small house on the outskirts of town. She shortly woke up from her unconsciousness and yelped. This tiny sound broke my heart even more. "Shh… I'm sorry…" I soothed her.

Edward's POV

Sounds outside startled me. I stopped playing on my piano and listened. Carlisle was running towards the house very fast. I recognized his thoughts but I couldn't pick enough to tell me what was going on. He was terribly confused and troubled. All I could see in his mind were images changing so quick I was hardly able to tell what I was seeing. There was the hospital… a young doctor Carlisle didn't like… blood… much blood… a broken body… it was a woman… and some images I knew - a young girl with a pretty heart-shaped face and caramel coloured hair, she had a broken leg… and thousands and thousands of questions plus some phrases which repeated themselves in his mind: She's not going to make it… No use of trying… jumped off a cliff… suicide… I tried to block Carlisle's thoughts as they were driving me mad, but only a moment later he bust through the door, holding a body in his arms.

The smell hit me at full force and it took me everything to stop breathing and not attack Carlisle right then. He simply rushed past me, not even acknowledging me. I waited a moment upstairs until I followed him curious.

Carlisle's POV

I rushed inside and headed upstairs into the guestroom. I gently placed Esme on the soft bed. Her heart was still beating but it got weaker every second.

I bent over her, gently brushing the hair from her face. She was beautiful, even now. I took in a shaky breath. My hands brushed along her cheeks, smiling as I remembered how we had laughed together. Very carefully I shoved her collar down a bit – in that moment Edward burst through the door.

"This is her!" he stated simply, shocked. "Yes…" I whispered. I knew Edward had seen my memories of Esme often in my head. He had most likely seen more than I wanted him to, but I couldn't help it. "She will die." He said with a quick glance at her injuries. "I know… but… I could save her…" I whispered.

"Carlisle! She jumped! She wanted to die! You can't damn her to this existence!" Edward yelled into my face. I looked at him. But I can't let her … I couldn't even think the word. Edward watched me for a long moment before he retreated into the hall and closed the door behind him.

I stared after him before a stutter in Esme's heartbeat brought me back to the decision I had to make. Edward was right. She wanted to die… I leaned over her and stroked her face. "Esme…" I whispered hoarsely. "My beautiful Esme…" Suddenly she stirred and her eyes fluttered open. "Esme… can you hear me?" I asked in a breathless whisper.

Esme's POV

I heard a clear voice talking to me. The voice of my angel. I would recognize him everywhere. I heard him calling my name. With all my willpower and my last strength I forced my eyes open. I couldn't see clearly, my eyes were always losing focus but he knew now I was awake. "Esme… can you hear me?" he asked, sounding breathless. I wanted to say something, reassure him, at least nod but I could not. With huge effort I blinked. "Esme… I… why did you do this to you?" he asked sounding more like crying with every word. "Esme, my Esme… if there was a way, to save you… would you… want…" I struggled to fight the blackness that was creeping back into my mind but I had no strength left. I saw the sad and worried eyes of my angel one last time before I fell into darkness again…

Carlisle's POV

I whimpered as I saw how Esme lost consciousness again. I knew that she wouldn't wake up again. My breath was short and ragged. I didn't want to make this decision alone. I couldn't. I could never forgive me if she hated me for cursing her into this existence, but I could also not forgive if I let her die…

She could not die. I would not survive it. I bent over her and shoved her collar down, revealing her slender neck. I hoped that the tiny flicker of recognition I thought I saw in her eyes would be enough… "Esme… I'm sorry…" I whispered and bent down. I pressed a kiss onto her neck before my razor sharp teeth sliced her skin.

Her sweet blood came in contact with my tongue and I sunk my teeth deeper into her flesh. I had done that before but Edward's blood was nothing compared to what I tasted now. I wanted to drink it… all of it… my thirst raged inside me, letting me forget who I was for a short moment.

I withdrew from Esme, my whole body shaking… I drew in a shaky breath hoping to get control over myself again but again her scent flooded my senses. I sank my teeth into her neck again, harder this time. My hand held her face steady, held her so I could reach her neck better…

Suddenly Esme stirred underneath me, a scream full of pain came out of her mouth. This brought me back to reality. I withdrew from her, staring down at what I had done. Shame overwhelmed me and I lowered my head as a sob escaped my lips. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry Esme…" I whispered over and over again.

Esme's POV

Something sliced my neck and lifted the blackness a tiny bit. A huge pain, centred in my neck, shot out through my whole body. Suddenly, just as I thought it was slowly decreasing I felt it again, more powerful. I tried to get away from it but my head was in a death grip. A scream left my mouth and suddenly the pain was gone. I hear a low voice but didn't understand the words. They sounded sad, though. A warmth was spreading through my neck through my whole body, getting hotter and hotter until it felt like fire was pumping through my veins. The pain I felt before that was nothing to how I felt now. This was excruciating. I screamed again before I passed out from the pain…

Carlisle's POV

Esme was screaming and squirming in pain before my eyes. And I could do nothing against it. In fact I caused it. I gently stroked her face. "I'm so sorry, Esme." I whispered over and over again.

After a few minutes of soothing later I noticed again how terrible Esme looked with tattered clothes and blood all over her body. Edward, could you get me some water and a wash cloth, please? I asked in my head. A minute later he appeared in the doorway, holding a bowl with cold water and some towels. "Thank you." I said as I sat down on her bedside again. Very gently I washed the blood off her face and neck. I wanted to do more for her. Get her out of these clothes, wash the rest of her body clean from the blood but I couldn't do this…

I knew that I was asking too much of Edward but she couldn't stay in this clothes. "It is alright… I will do it." Edward said from the doorway. I shot him a look full of gratitude. I got up and left the room but Edward called me back as I reached the hall. "Do we have something to change her into?" he asked. I nodded and gestured to the hospital gown that lay on the floor. At least I have been thinking of taking a gown with me. Edward nodded. "Okay."

Edward's POV

I watched Carlisle leave as I picked up the hospital gown he had laid down next to the bed. I understood his desire to have her body cleaned but I didn't feel very comfortable doing it either. But I also knew that Carlisle could never do it.

I took a pair of scissors to cut the dress she'd worn from her body. Her body was too badly injured to be moved much. I didn't want her in any pain except the burning which I could do nothing against. And according to Carlisle's anxious and worried thoughts and the feelings I knew he had for this woman he would probably rip my head off if I made her cry.

So I gently peeled the dress away from her and washed the blood from her body. I didn't take one single breath the whole time, my throat was burning bad enough already. As I wiped the blood away I found other marks on her body. Injuries that had not been caused by her fateful jump. Scars. She had a lot of them and some looked quite nasty, like the one on her forearm. It was huge, looked like many deep cuts. What happened to her?

After I had cleaned her wounds as good as possible I dressed her in the gown, as carefully as I could. She whimpered a few times and begged for the fire to stop but nothing more. After I was finished I called Carlisle back. I knew he was dying to be with her. He didn't want to leave her side.

Carlisle's POV

"Carlisle? I'm done." I heard Edward say. I rushed into the guestroom and knelt down next to Esme's figure, who was writhing in pain. I stroked her cheek, trying to calm her down. "Fire… it burns…" she whimpered. I bit my lip. I couldn't bear to see her in pain. "I found some scars on her body…" Edward said lowly. I looked at him. Scars? What scars? I asked him silently. Edward said nothing, he simply pulled the sleeve of her right arm up to show me. I saw the scar. It reminded me of a wound I treated some time ago on a man. I replayed the image on my mind and Edward nodded. "What happened to him?" he asked. He was hit with a bottle neck. I replied. Edward nodded thoughtful. "I'm leaving you alone now…" he said after another minute or so. I quickly nodded at him. The smell of blood was still heavy in the air; Edward was probably suffering very much.

I sat down at Esme's bedside and held her hand in mine, my thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back. She whimpered and started tossing and turning on the bed. "Shhh… Esme… I'm sorry… I didn't want to hurt you… It will be over soon… I promise…" She moaned in pain and whispered something incoherently. I suffered just as much as her, seeing her lying there writhing in pain… pain I caused. "Esme… I'm so sorry…" I whispered again and bent over her to hold her. She should not move too much, it would only cause more pain. Especially with the injuries she had…

Esme's POV

I was burning. I was on fire. My whole body was burning from the inside. Like fire was pumping through my veins. My body hurt terribly and I couldn't move because every movement caused me further pain. I wanted to scream in pain but the only sounds that left my mouth were tiny whimpers. Suddenly I felt something cold against my skin. It held me in a tight grip so I couldn't move and hurt myself. A soft voice was whispering something, but I couldn't make out the words. But the voice was gentle and soft and this calmed me. I knew this voice from somewhere but I couldn't remember from where…

The fire in my veins was getting worse with every heartbeat. I started to struggle against the grip. I wanted to put the flames out. I wanted to make it stop… no matter what. "It burns… fire… put it out…" I muttered over and over again but it was no use.

Carlisle's POV

I held Esme on the mattress but she started to struggle against my grip. She started to mumble again. Fire… fire… put it out… words like that left her mouth. I couldn't stand to see her in pain. Every whimper that left her mouth ripped a little piece of my still heart out. I searched my mind desperately for anything to ease her pain but there was nothing. "I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you… but I couldn't let you die…" I whispered. I surely imagined it but Esme seemed a little calmer when she heard my voice. It was nonsense of course, she wouldn't even remember me, probably hate me for doing that to her… To distract myself I started to talk to her, tell her about all the things I could think of. Various, unimportant topics.

Edward's POV

I was downstairs in the living room and played the piano to distract myself from what was going on upstairs. I knew what effect this woman had over Carlisle. I knew it probably even better than he did, or wanted to admit. What had drawn him to her since their first meeting when she was still a girl. And now it was only intensified. She was no longer half a girl. She was a full grown woman now. Beautiful even with her body mangled and broken. I knew Carlisle suffered as much as she did. Seeing her in pain was torturing him. And I knew why. I could hear him, whispering to her in his calm voice. It was good what he did. I couldn't make out many of Esme's thoughts, but she was calmer with Carlisle close to her and talking. His voice calmed her and she just felt safe. Even if she didn't know why. She couldn't think straight with the venom in her body and her injuries and the pain but Carlisle's voice and closeness triggered a feeling of safety and love inside her. And it distracted her from the burning.

Esme's POV

I drifted in and out of consciousness. The Burning was excruciating, tormenting my broken body. This was not the death I wanted. Death was supposed to be peaceful and easy.

Sometimes the pain seemed to subside a little and I could hear a voice talking to me. I couldn't understand the words but it sounded so calming and gentle that I instantly felt better. I tried to focus on the voice and not on the pain but it was hard to do and I had no strength. So I fell unconscious again…

The next time I woke up the voice was still there. I didn't know how much time had passed, the pain in my body hadn't changed a tiny bit. I was still burning, fire was running through my veins but I was too weak to fight it now… I just lay still, cramping now and then when it became too much to bear, whimpering, but not screaming anymore. I didn't know why, probably because I was all broken and suffering so much, but as long as I could her the quiet whispering around me I felt safe, like someone cared for me and everything would be alright. It was just a phantasm but it helped a little…

Carlisle's POV

As I was talking and the hours ticked by Esme stopped to scream, instead soft whimpers left her mouth. I rubbed soothing circles on her hand and told her about everything that came to my mind, hoping to distract her somehow. Her body cramped in pain and every time she moved her body, which had started to heal caused even more pain. She was suffering and it made me suffer, too. I didn't move from her side for one minute, I hardly moved at all. And I never stopped talking.

The hours trickled by as if someone had manipulated the clocks. Just as I thought I couldn't stand to see Esme suffer any longer her behaviour changed slowly. Her heart sped up its pace and I knew it would be over soon.

Esme's POV

I felt the pain subside from my fingers and toes but it got even worse in my chest. The pain seemed to centre around my heart, which beat fiercely in my chest. I started to squirm and screamed again, but I was stopped from moving by strong arms. "No… stay still… It will be over soon… I promise… just stay still, please…" the gentle voice whispered. I really tried to, but it was so hard. The pain got worse and worse. It was like my I was stabbed with a white-hot iron stick. My heart was beating so fast I never thought possible. And then, suddenly, without a warning, it stopped.

But I was not dead. I lay still for a moment. Now, with all the pain gone I could hear so much. The soft wind outside, the rustle of the trees, the turning of pages in a book somewhere below me, an even breathing next to me. I was afraid to move, afraid the pain would come back, afraid of what would happen if I opened my eyes…

Then I noticed that I didn't have to breathe. I simply didn't need the air. What happened to me? I opened my eyes and wanted to sit up and a second later stopped dead in my actions. How had I moved so fast? I looked around the room. Everything was so much more defined now, the colours brighter and I could see everything… I mean everything. The dust particles in the air, the structure of the wooden floor, every tiny detail…

Then I noticed a man standing across the room, next to my bed. He was tall and lean, had blonde hair, pale skin and beautiful eyes in dark butterscotch. I knew him from somewhere… "Hello Esme… please, don't be afraid…" he whispered and took a careful step towards me. Then it hit me, a fuzzy memory of a doctor I met as a child, only this seemed so far away now, in another life… "Dr-r C-Cullen… Car-lisle…" I whispered very lowly.