Hello again. As I take a quick break from writing my multi-chapter fics, I decided to shed some creative light on one of the creepiest pokémon ever created (in my own opinion). If you guys like it well enough, maybe I'll start a series of one-shots about pokémon and their inner thoughts. Anyway, enjoy!
Edited: 6/7/2015
As pokémon, we're born into this world and expected to imprint on the first living thing we see. We're hardwired for it. It's in our nature. So imagine my confusion when I've just hatched, and instead of something living waiting on the other side of the shell for me, I see – in short – thousands of phenomena I can't explain.
Gothita – blessed and cursed with the sight.
The closest thing I can compare it to is schizophrenia. I see and hear things that aren't actually there. I remember first hatching from the egg, trying to get oriented to the universe. My trainer was sitting right in front of me, but I didn't even notice her. The world around her was a sickly, glossy shade of yellow. I saw shadows in the trees of people and pokémon past and present. The sun and the moon sat in the dark-purple-light-blue sky side by side. When I finally noticed her, I began crying because I didn't see her lively green eyes staring back at me. Her eyes were cold, dead.
My trainer thinks I see dead things. I know because I've heard it in her head. And it's true, but only partly. You see, as a gothita, I didn't know what I was looking at. Thousands of images reflected in the stars millions of light-years away showed the past and somehow, the future. At that age, gothita don't know how to differentiate actual reality from less-or-more-distant reality. I was, for all intents and purposes, some odd mixture of a medium and a schizophrenic.
It's kind of like a war, like a huge internal conflict for us. Our biology, our nature dictates us to cringe at disaster. When things aren't normal anymore, it's our brain's way of telling us there's something wrong, of letting us know we are potentially in danger. But as a gothita, I've been born into exclusivity. I've been granted only the power to see the future and the past and work out the other details on my own.
Gothorita earn a little more clarity.
As pokémon evolve, so do our brains grow. By now, gothorita fully realize what we're seeing isn't actually happening, it's either going to happen or already has happened.
I wish I had someone here to tell me that when I witnessed my trainer dying for the first time or when I saw exactly how the world was going to end. Anyway, that's not the point. This stage in our lives is a kind of adolescence. We understand more, we're coming into our bodies, our abilities – but at the same time we're weighed down by a never-ending thirst for knowledge. We become innately curious.
I realized that what I was seeing came from the stars, that in looking at them my hyper-vision showed my the past, and in some way also showed me the future. If I wanted to see anything all I had to do was look. Random trainers and pokémon, the entire world, the entire galaxy, I hold all of their secrets inside my head.
It's a powerful knowledge for a meager little thing like gothorita.
The point in the road that forks between whether we'll use this knowledge for good or for evil varies for each of us, and our choice is a sole result of how we cope with our gifts. More often than not, it isn't until we're nearing the end of our secondary evolution where we decide. It was at this point for me as well.
As a gothorita, I was headed down a shaky path. I was addicted to the knowledge and yet at the very same time I detested everything I didn't understand about it. After learning everything possible about every corporeal existence in the universe, being blocked from the rest is upsetting. I tried to recreate the stars using rocks I found on the ground, looking for some kind of pattern, some kind of answer.
The thing is, my line of pokémon don't deal in answers of the post-existential kind. We know facts. We have knowledge. We don't know why or how.
It's incredibly frustrating. I was unsettled for a very long time. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and hypnotize my trainer and her friends to re-enact what I was seeing, looking for patterns there as well. I would pretend they were killing each other. I would use them as symbols for earth and its demise. But it was all still so random. I wasted a lot of time hoping and searching for an answer. Answers now feel unnatural to me. The sooner I would've realized it, the better.
By the time I had accepted this, I was almost ready to evolve into my final form. When it happened, it was as if suddenly everything had clicked. I had complete and total knowledge about everything in the universe. I could tell you exactly which planets clefairy and beheeyem and deoxys came from. I could tell you precisely which meteor would strike the earth on precisely which day at precisely which time. I could tell you which past events were conspiracies and which were the genuine truth. I could tell you how you die, how your children die, how I die.
But with my newly developed mind, I believe that telling the future is not what I was put on this earth to do.
Belief is an interesting concept, something based out of knowledge and yet also the absence of knowledge, a kind of inference after synthesizing and interpreting evidence. Well I have all possible evidence in the world. I have seen the beginning and the end, but I don't have all the answers. I am not the omnipotent pokémon people believe me to be. Now, as a gothitelle with a complete understanding of how the world works, I firmly believe that I – we, people and pokémon alike – were put on this earth to love and forgive unconditionally. I have seen a lot of death and destruction. I have seen the evil facets of our natures and what that means to other living things. Our actions affect each other in ways no human could ever understand.
I believe that I am more than a pokémon. I am a heavenly body and a thing of nature, and I believe my species was put on this earth to overcome the confines of our biology, to overcome our natural vices of dominance and jealousy and greed and judgment. We were put on this earth to touch. To be touched. And only once we've achieved this sense of unity will we be able to ascend to whatever is after this life.
I am gothitelle, angel and pokémon.
So I'm not super spiritual but to me it just seems like common sense to dedicate our existence focusing on the positives and bettering what's not quite there yet. Hope you enjoyed!
