This is my 6-month anniversary special! 'tis called the Board Room…you'll see why! I hope you will enjoy this story, and here is to another 6 months! Some of my achievements:
First story to go over 100 reviews: Nuke War Warriors
My first ever reviewer: xxxxxLeafxCrowxxxxxx
The Leopardstorm Commitment Award goes to…. Laughing Rain! Thanks so much for being there on every single one of my stories. *Hugs Laughing Rain and all of his other reviewers!*
A big thanks to:
Laughing Rain
Tanglestalker
Lolcatsrule
PinkRhinosAreBest
Nianque
Hawkfire
Rubyblaze
SymphoniaFreak
Macey-The-Invisible
Horseangel101
Thundercat29r
Hawkfire (have a great holiday!)
Mysticbreeze
And anybody else who I have missed! Shortbread biscuits for everyone!! :P
On with the story!
Here is to another fantastic 6 months! Leopardstorm
Everyone filed into the relatively small meeting room to talk about the next story that Leopardstorm was going to upload to Fan Fiction (dot) net. Amazingly, he had managed to convince all of his characters (and future characters) to join him. Even though he had taken out all of his pens and pencils, there were still characters coming through the door.
"Who's stupid idea was it to meet in a room this small?" Severus Snape sniffed at the back. "Enlarg-"
"Severus, there are Muggles outside!" Minerva McGonnagol (sp?) replied stoutly. "Otherwise I'll have to reveal the secret about the Giant Squid and a pack of pencil sharpeners to Dumbledore!"
Severus was quiet after that outburst.
"Okay, so now everybody's here…I think," Leopardstorm was interrupted by a shout from Jayfeather.
"There's not enough room to swing a cat in here!" he growled, paws clawing against the carpet.
"How would you know?" Squidward kicked him out of the room. "Ha. Ha. Blindness Joke. Ha." He stopped when everyone looked at him.
"Anyway…since the last meeting, a lot has happened," Leopardstorm had to shout to get over everybody else. "Does anyone have any news before we begin?"
"I gave Freddie a broken nose!" Sam Puckett yelled at the back. "It's on Flickr for anyone who likes blood, and it's up for an award on the Gory Photos Category." There was a sudden outburst of pens and notebooks noting down the URL.
"You know that it's wrong!" Freddie looked at Leopardstorm despairingly.
"Yes." Leopardstorm called for silence with an extra-loud megaphone, but Mr Weasley grabbed it out of his hands and started to take it apart. A massive shower of springs and bolts ensued.
"I have some news!" Mr Krabs fought his way to the front. "If you order a Krabby Patty with Cheese, you get the cheese f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-complementary…"
"Okay…Let's just get on with the stories. Alan, have you got anything?" I looked over to see a stressed out Lynn writing out the URL for the Freddie picture.
"How about Boob Olympics? I –"
"You've said that before. To the corner for you!"
"No! Don't take my chat away from me…" he was sent to a corner where a bunch of six-year-olds sung 'I know a song that will get on your nerves' on a loop. "!"
"I did think of a romance between Malfoy and Sir Codagen," Mrs. Granger piped up at the back. "It starts off with Draco trying to get into the Gryffindor Common Room, and Sir Codagen is patrolling the portrait hole. Then Draco gets drunk on Pumpkin Juice and they start a Truth or Dare contest, which involves flirting with Filius Flitwick and getting eaten by Fang's sister. In the end, they kiss each other in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey uploading the pictures to Facebook."
"I don't think that will catch on, Mrs. Granger," Leopardstorm said carefully. "For a start, I don't think Madame Pomfrey knows what Facebook is…"
"Huh!" Madame Pomfrey was on a Blackberry looking at disturbing pictures of Fenrir Greyback in a bikini.
"Look, we're getting off topic…has anyone actually got a story worthy of being published on the website?"
"Does a website have seanut brittle?" Patrick asked, his eyes unfocused, as he practiced doing nothing with Stanley SquarePants.
"Um…it depends if you're going to eat my laptop…" Leopardstorm hid his laptop under the table.
"What about, 'The Musical Adventures of a Squid in Motion'?" Squidward posed, causing about 300,000,000 people to die of explicit squid imagery, and blinded about another 1,000,000,000.
"Well…at least there's enough around the table now…" Leopardstorm squinted his eyes to blink out the horrible imagery of Squidward in an M-Rated Fic. "If I don't get a good story out there, I will be killed by a riot of angry readers! I have to live up to the author's note above!"
Silence.
"What about, CSI: The Lake?" Squirrelflight offered in a mysterious voice.
"Too gory," Leopardstorm countered.
"How Crowfeather became a millionaire mouse-eater!" Crowfeather shouted in a glorious tone, while heroic music played in the background and a British flag flew behind him.
"Too deluded," the record broke, the flag fell down and he fell off his chair. "Next!"
"How about, Tony Hayers is a –censored-!" Alan Partridge had just broken away from the six-year-old nightmare.
"Too hatemailish," Leopardstorm really needed a story that would capture the brilliance and randomness of his writing (and personality). Then he noticed Spencer record himself with a Dictaphone™ in the shape of an elephant's trunk.
"Don't stop me now, having such a good time, I'm having a- HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN!?" The Dictaphone™ burst into flames, Sandy Cheeks idly putting out the flames.
"That's it! Make a fic about this Board Room! It's random and brilliant, like me! Any objections?"
A general murmur of consent rumble through the characters.
"Are we getting paid for our presence here?" Snape sniffed mucus back up his nostrils as he looked at Leopardstorm. Feeling queasy, I nodded and handed him 78p.
"NOOOO! Not Muggle money!!!!!!!" Snape dissolved into a mass of Snapey-jelly on the floor.
"If you die, can I have your Jay-Z albums?" Cinderheart sniffed at his body and promptly puked.
"Somebody eat me…" Snape groaned before he turned into the Giant Squid. "Ooh! Pencil Sharpeners!"
So that's it. Not my best work, by the one-year anniversary will be much better.
Look out for more Leopardstorm in the future, and don't forget to review for this and all my other stories.
Heartfelt thanks go to everybody,
Leopardstorm!