Lost child

by kagayaspirits

Somewhere in the dark was Alice.

Somewhere in the dark, Alice heard a little voice crying.

Somewhere in the dark was a lost child crying out with all of its heart.

Somewhere in the dark, Alice was crying.

Alice was a strong girl. She could live by herself alone in the middle of the Forbidden forest. She could make her own dolls-friends-maids-whatever, she could turn them into life and control them easily with a flick of the hands. She could keep intruders away from her territory. She could learn magic and know lots of spells and own a lot of books. Alice was a strong girl. She only had one super tiny weakness. It was someone with messy blond hair and round face. It was a thief stealing all of her most precious books. It was a disturbance, a tornado sweeping by her place several times a week from year to year. It was a girl with a stupid grin pasting on her place 24/7.

'Hey, ALICE!!'

It was her.

'Alice, how does it feel to love?'

When Marisa asked her such a question all out of the blue on their way to Patchouli's place, Alice heard something moving really quickly, like a storm passing by the peacful Gensokyo. When they bumped into Reimu while were on their way browsing through shelf after shelf in the gigantic library in the mansion, when Marisa tried in vain to hide her little creeping up blush, when Marisa pulled her into a dark corner around another shelf, Alice heard as if the storm was already besides her, roaring strongly and tempting to blow both of them away. When Reimu turned the corner and found them stuffed between the shelves and laughed lightly, when Marisa laughed along in relief, when Alice was frowning at the scene, she thought.

Ah, this was it. The storm.

Alice didn't know how it feel like to love. She didn't have parents to teach how to love. She was a loner and no one bothered to teach her love. Her dolls, though very useful and were parts of her lonely life, couldn't love. No one bothered to, not even Alice herself.

Therefore, she didn't know how to asnwer Marisa.

But later that night, after returning home with some rare books in arms, after tucking herself in and looking up the ceiling, seeing an abadoned witch hat on the top of her wardrobe, sensing a certain wind-like aroma in the room, Alice wondered if she could love too.

Alice made a doll with blond hair and black-and-white clothes and put it on her bed every night.

Marisa wasn't her cheerful self like always, she was behaving so so strange. She didn't burst into the room like everyday, she didn't tease Alice first thing after arriving, she didn't have that silly grin on her face. Marisa was blushing and smiling. A lock of lond hair tied clumpsily on the side and she was spinning her hat around.

They were sitting in the kitchen with cups of tea and cookies when Marisa shot up from staring for hours at the spinning hat in her hand and asked:

'Hey Alice, is it wrong for a girl to fall in love with a girl?'

Marisa was blushing darker than ever, her eyes glimmered in little rays of light reflected from the window, her hair a big mess, her hands clamped at the table frame, the hat dropped onto the floor silently. She stared at Alice, as if there were the answer written across her face.

'Umm…'

Alice started to blush too.

'Well… Maybe not…'

'You think so?'

'Mmm, I suppose. Why you ask?'

Marisa, like the wind, dropped back to her usual self in less than two seconds. She put on the grin again, picked up the hat from the floor and laughed out loud.

'Aww, just a little question and Alice-chan's soooooo flushed up!!'

Alice really hated Marisa!

Lie. Alice loved Marisa.

'Hey, look at this!'

Marisa was pulling Alice's arm back as they were walking in the forest. She pointed at a little bush of snowflakes by the other side of the river.

'But it's summer, how can there be snowflakes?'

'I know, isn't that wonderful? They're so pretty! I wonder how beautiful they can be, being taken care of nicely instead of staying here.'

When they started walking away, Alice secretly put back a doll to mark the place and sent out a glance at the white buds.

By the time Alice had got back to the riverside, the flowers were gone.

'Alice…'

Marisa hadn't come over to Alice's place for weeks and suddenly showed up while Alice was finally preparing to go out and look for her.

'Where have you been all this time? Do you know that I was worried? What…'

'Reimu…'

'Hu?'

'Reimu…she's….accepted.'

Just that and Marisa was on her broom again, into the sky.

That afternoon when Alice came over to the shrine, she saw a pot of snow-white flowers in the yard.

'Umm, Alice?'

'Hm?'

'How, you know…'

'How what?'

'I mean, how do you…'

'Just say it won't you?'

'How do you that with another girl?'

Alice wanted to punch Marisa. She really really hated Marisa.

She did hate Marisa, didn't she?

A few weeks afterwards it became clear that Marisa had decided that being at the shrine is way more fun than a doll-filled house and stopped coming over. So Alice was only being sensible, going to the shrine to ask if Marisa wanted to go to Patchouli's place with her.

'Nnnn….Marisa…'

'Reimu…..'

'Nnnnnnnnn…'

'…..'

'MARISA!!'

'REIMU!!'

Alice turned around and went home. She wouldn't cry at the Hakurei shrine, of all places.

'Hey Alice~'

'Hm?'

'What do you think Reimu would like for her birthday?'

'Mmm…another pot of snowflakes?'

'But it's summer!'

'Go ask that Cirno to help you.'

'Right, I forgot. Thanks Alice, love you!!'

Alice watched that black skirt dasked into the sky and wondered why she was still sane.

'Alice…'

'I thought you had a sleepover at Reimu's'

'Well, Yukari and Yuyuko came over and they are drinking sake over there and Yukari didn't let me in~'

'Refrain yourself from eating up all their snacks might help.'

'You sound as if you don't want me to stay anymore.'

'…I didn't…'

'Yes you did. You no longer love me Alice?'

'No, I didn't…'

'No way, you did.'

'I didn.'t…'

'You did you did you did!'

'I DIDN'T!! WHY DO YOU THINK I WANT YOU TO STAY AWAY IF I'M STILL TALKING TO YOU, WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULD LET YOU EVEN COME HERE WITHOUT SETTING UP THE BARRIER? WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LISTENED TO YOUR RAMBLING ABOUT YOU AND HER? WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU FEEL ABOUT HER AND HER BIRTHDAY? WHY? DIDN'T I LOVE YOU ENOUGH???'

Like the wind, Alice ran away.

Alice loved Marisa. Alice hated Marisa. Alice loved Marisa. Alice hated Marisa. Alice loved…

'Hey Alice!!!'

'Alice-chan!!!'

'Alice, where are you???'

'ALICE MARGATROID!!!!!'

The next morning, Reimu woke up to find her pot of snowflakes, buds all gone. They all melted into small puddles on the ground.

The next morning, Marisa woke up on Alice bed next to a mini Marisa staring at her with beaded eyes.

The next morning, Alice was nowhere to be seen.

Somewhere in the dark, Alice was crying.

Somewhere in the dark, she was holding crytallized water drops. They froze her hands and turned them blue.

Somewhere in the dark, there was only Alice.

Water melted into droplets, shattered on the grass.

Somewhere in the dark was a lost child crying her heart out.

They couldn't hear her and she was lost forever.