This fic is based on an RP that I played with nella once.

I don't own DGM.

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'Kanda, can I ask you something?'

The samurai looked up from his plate of half-finished soba in annoyance. Allen blinked innocently next to him, a determined look on his face. The older man glared in annoyance, and then went back to eating his precious noodles.

'Why should I answer questions from you? Get lost, you're wasting my time.'

'No I wont!' the shorter folded his arms crossly, pouting, 'I just wanted to know how long you've known Lavi.'

'If I answer your question will you go away?'

'Yes.'

'I've known the rabbit about two or three years. Buzz off.'

'Then you must know him pretty well right?' Allen said enthusiastically and leaned forward to hear more. A vein popped in Kanda's forehead. He'd been sitting here quietly, minding his own business, not yelling or beating anyone up, and the annoying sprout had come along, sat next to him and started asking dumb questions about the also annoying rabbit! Couldn't he just eat his soba in peace?! He sighed, put down his chopsticks and swivelled in his seat to face Allen.

'I've known the rabbit that long, but as far as I can remember he has only ever opened up to anyone twice in his life, and one of those times was to you in the Ark. He's touchy-feely and crap but he's not exactly one to talk about himself. Now will you go away?'

The cursed exorcist in front of him blinked, and then stared sadly at his lap, wringing his hands nervously. 'Oh...'

'Che, why are you even asking me these dumb questions? If you're so interested in Usagi go ask him yourself. Idiot never shuts up, I'm sure he'd be happy to talk...'

'Well, I can't... The reason I'm asking you these questions is cos, well he seems to be close with you... Well as close as anyone can get with you really... Tell me,' Allen suddenly looked up, his face set, 'Does he like anyone right now?'

Kanda blinked. He sighed in exasperation and rolled his dark eyes.

'Great, you like him.'

'Yes...' Allen nodded, blushing madly, 'Please don't tell anyone.'

'Why would I gossip about such meaningless information? You like him huh? Only you and every other idiot in this depressing place...'

'Eh?' Allen looked confused, 'Other people like Lavi?'

'Yes. Off the top of my head I can name Lenalee, Miranda, some of the new scientists from other branches, a bunch of finders... And for some reason they all come to me with their stupid lovesick whining.'

He meant the last part to be a hint to get Allen to leave him alone, but the shorter seemed to be completely oblivious to the irritation in his voice. He sat there, blue lines and black clouds appearing above his head.

'Lenalee and Miranda?' he groaned, head in his hands, 'Aw, I can't compete with pretty girls! I'm doomed...'

'Che...' Kanda rolled his eyes, 'If it makes you feel better Moyashi, he turned both of them down. As well as the other people who have confessed to him... Stinking Man-Whore...'

'He's not a whore unless he sleeps with them, Kanda.'

'You're what, twelve?' Kanda glared, 'I'm surprised you know what a whore is!'

'One, I'm fifteen, and two, my master is General Cross.'

'Whatever...' Kanda got up and started walking towards the large oak doors that led into the outside corridor. He wanted to go train in the forest, and was glad to finally get away of the kid, but to his great dislike Allen seemed determined to get more out of the older man and was following him like an excited puppy.

'S-So has he ever... Ugh, I hate to sound desperate here...'

'Then don't.' Kanda stopped dead and turned to face him, towering over him with a dark scowl.

'I just want to know if he's ever mentioned me to you!' Allen glared up at him, not finding his height intimidating at all, 'I don't like having to ask you for this either Bakanda but I don't really have any other options. I can't ask Lenalee cos she likes him too, I can't ask Bookman for obvious reasons...'

'Fine. He has mentioned you a few times, but I don't even talk to him much, so it wasn't anything big.'

'Still, it's something!' Allen's face brightened, 'What did he say exactly?'

'He told me once he thought you were brave. I however, think you are more stupid then brave. I don't remember what he said the other times because I didn't find it worth listening to.'

He turned on his heels to continue walking towards the door that would lead outside, but to his chagrin he felt Allen grab his sleeve, preventing him from leaving. He turned again, this time with the aim of slicing the boy in half with Mugen, but to his surprise he found Allen on his knees, head bowed.

'Kanda, please help me make Lavi like me!'

'What?' the samurai wrinkled his nose in disgust at the thought of assisting in such trivial things. Allen looked up him, his silver orbs begging his assistance.

'Please? I won't make you do anything horrifying!'

'Too bad,' Kanda stepped back, trying to tug his coat out of the boy's grasp, 'Let go.'

Allen sighed heavily and stood up. An evil air surrounded him, the same aura he got when playing poker. It sent chills down even Kanda's spine, though he would never admit it. The younger exorcist reached into his pocket and pulled out a small photo.

'I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to this Kanda, I really was... But f you don't help me,' he grinned sadistically, devil horns appearing on his head as he turned the picture around so Kanda could see it, 'then this photograph will become the Orders new wallpaper.'

Kanda stifled a horrified gasp. His eyes widened as he took a step back. Allen was holding a photo of when he was younger, only nine or so back when he'd first started travelling with Tiedoll, before he'd joined the order yet. He was asleep, curled up on a futon, hugging a large teddy bear, his then-shortish black hair messy and tangled, his face a picture of angelic serenity.

'Isn't little Yu-Chan cute?' Allen said in a taunting sweet voice, 'that's what everyone will be saying this time tomorrow...'

'Where... Where the fuck did you get that?!' Kanda's voice was quiet with anger.

'General Tiedoll was nice enough to give me a few copies of pictures from his family photo album. I've got hundreds more copies hidden in places you'll never think of, so don't even tell me you'll find them all and burn them. Ready to help me now?'

'I...I...' Kanda was truly scared. If that picture got out, his tough guy image would be ruined and no one would ever shut up about it. It would be humiliating. He had no choice.'

'Fine.' He said through gritted teeth. 'But you can't just MAKE someone like you, baka. If he doesn't end up liking you, don't blame me.'

'I know...' Allen sighed sadly as he repocketed the picture, the evil aura replaced by the usual one of innocent naivety. 'But, you know... Can't hurt to try, can it?'

'Che... Evil bastard...'

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I will be writing this until my writers block clears up.