Hello, Goodbye, Hello Again

Summary: What if things went a little differently in "Hello, Goodbye" back at Max's apartment.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't own anything really, except some DVDs and my Stargate magazines.

And I have to acknowledge my friend Lisa, whom I quoted in here. Because it's a good Lisa-ism that shall stick with us forever. So thanks Lisa!

"Listen; since we're already knee-deep in painful subjects...tell me about him. About Ben," Alec said, his voice strained as he said those last two words, as though they were almost too painful to say.
Max turned from the island bench to face him, but still not looking him in the eyes, she answered him.

"When we were kids, back at Manticore, he always wanted answers for everything. You know? Why we were there, what was outside. So he would make up these fantastic stories to explain things. Somehow it made us feel...loved. Like we weren't all alone." A small smile had crept onto her face as Max remembered her brother. She looked up to meet Alec's eyes. He was watching her so intently; she didn't know what to say next.

"Sounds like a nice kid. What went wrong?" he prompted, keeping his voice, that was threatening to go haywire, calm.

"I don't know...he just..." she didn't know how to say it, how to say what went wrong when she wasn't entirely sure herself, "...lost it."
She turned around, heading to the cupboard to get cups; really she just needed to hide her face, to not have to look at his face. She didn't know if it was Ben or Alec that she couldn't face. Her brother, whom she loved so much, or the man she considered one of her closest friends, the only one who could ever really understand where she was coming from, literally and figuratively. She never noticed that her body had stopped moving, her mind in another place.

Noticing her stillness, he asked, genuinely concerned, "Hey, you okay?"

Max blinked, snapping back to reality. "I'm fine," she snapped, going defensive, defences crashing almost instantly as she remembered that day in the woods. She turned and sat down, reminding herself to take deep breaths; that she couldn't break down, especially not in front of Alec. A man whom her feelings for, had grown, the more she spent time with him.

Tch, okay my ass! Stepping around to her side and sighing, he asked, "Max, what is it?"

Running through the woods. Fighting him. Hearing the bone snap. The look of fear in his eyes. "We were in the woods. He was hurt. Manticore was closing in on us. He didn't want to go back there," she said, her voice straining as she remembered everything. Running, holding him, while he practically begged her. Begged her to end it.

"Reindoctrination. Or worse," he knew exactly what would have happened if he had been sent back to Manticore. A much worse, more painful version of what he had to go through. Not that what they put him through was easy or painless. On the contrary, the pain and torture of it was almost indescribable.

"I killed him." Watching his lifeless body fall limp in her hands. Letting his body fall to the ground from her arms, and running. Leaving him.

Alec's eyes widened and his body stiffened at the abruptness of her statement.

"He asked me to, so I did." Her voice broke. Remember Max, deep breaths, "And then I ran. I saved myself. And I just left his body there for them to take away." And then she forgot all about putting on that brave face for her company. After all, she considered him one of her best friends. He's someone she knew she could trust completely, and she knew he'd always have her back. She hadn't been afraid to tell him what she did, unlike with Logan. She knew he would be able to understand. He wouldn't look at her as though she were a monster, he wouldn't think any less of her. He would understand why she had to do it. Why she couldn't let him go back there. She dropped that brave, tough chick routine, and let the tears that had been welling up in her eyes ever since she started talking fall.

God, it was hurting him to see her like this. Vulnerable and just so sad, almost broken. He had always said they were just broken toys, but he'd always thought she was strong, the least damaged. But now he could see that she wasn't any less damaged than the rest of them. She was just a good actor. But still, it hurt him to see her hurt. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He closed his eyes and, hoping, praying that it might comfort her, to know he was here for her, and always would be here for her, said, "Max, I'm sorry." She leaned into him, and his arms tightened around her. He could feel her tears dripping onto his sweatshirt, and he could feel her body shaking, as silent sobs, racked her body. "Shh, shh, Maxie, it's okay, I'm here. I'm here for you." I'll always be here for you. Because you're the only thing worth staying for. You and Joshua are the only family I have, but I sure as hell don't think of you as a sister. And I wish I could tell you Maxie, but I know you love Logan. And I can live with that. Even with all the danger he puts you in with his Eyes Only missions, and that damn virus, he makes you happy. And I just wanna see you happy.

Max brought her hand up to rest on the arm Alec had wrapped around her front. And she gripped it tight, holding onto him, just to make sure he was really there. With her. Her body continuing to shake with sobs, he rocked her back and forth in his arms, hushing her gently. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until she had stopped shaking and her tears had subsided.

"Alec?"

"Hmm, Maxie?"

"Thank-you," she said moving her head up to look him in the eyes, so he knew that she meant it. That she really, truly meant it.

And it wasn't until he opened his mouth to reply that either of them realised how close their faces, their lips, actually were.

And without thinking Max leaned up, just that tiny bit and closed that gap between their lips.

...

Ooohhh

left ya hangin there didn't I? Mwhahahaha-cough-cough-ahhaha.hmm...

Review. Please? Convince me that it's good enough to continue in between studying and reading more fan-fiction. That's right, I'm blackmailing you into reviewing. What's that? I'm evil you say? Well, like no one's ever said that to me before.

But when I do update, it probably won't be for another week or so because I have school to keep up with as well, so please be patient.