This had to be the worst ever.

The SGC annual Christmas Eve shindig. Food, wine, a little dancing… Carter in some hot outfit… what could possibly go wrong? At least that was what Jack had thought when he'd first accepted the invitation.

The first indication that all was not going to be well had been Carter. Okay so maybe it had partially been his fault. He had waited until the last moment to ask her to go with him. Jack would have liked to have used the pressure of world events as an excuse but the sad truth was that he had been too scared to ask her. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd tried, but somehow the words had never come out right. When he'd finally enquired as to whether she'd found herself a date, Carter had calmly announced that she was taking Teal'c.

Strike One.

The flight from Washington had been uneventful and it was only when he'd landed in Colorado Springs that things had really started to go wrong. The car had broken down. In the parking lot. And neither Air Force ingenuity or Triple A had been able to persuade it to start again. So he'd been force to take a cab. Late, he'd chosen to run up the stairs into the hotel where the function was being held. Something in his left knee had promptly said, 'no thank you' and Jack had found himself sprawled on the steps.

Strike Two.

When he'd finally limped into the hall, he'd been faced with the sight of Carter in a full length, red velvet evening gown being whisked around the dance floor by a succession of different partners. Each one better looking than the last and Jack could do nothing but sit and watch. He was in too much pain to walk never mind dance.

Dinner was fun. He found himself sandwiched between Walter and Siler, neither of whom was able to say anything interesting, even by accident. The truth was that Jack barely had listened to them. He'd been too busy watching Carter. Seated across the room on the 'SG-1' table and she'd laughed at everything Cameron Mitchell said.

Bastard.

After dinner, there was more dancing and once more Jack had sat back, this time with a very uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. It was only as he clapped his hand over his mouth that he realised it had nothing to do with the fact that Carter had finally decided to come and talk to him … and everything to do with the smoked salmon.

Strike Three.

Everyone assumed he'd been drinking, but Jack had been on orange juice all night. Velvet and vomit… it wasn't a great combination and Carter's pretty dress got soaked. Jack was still mumbling apologies as she'd poured him into a cab. He'd been a gentleman about it… at least he'd hoped so. She'd been forced to take her dress off and his coat had been long enough to cover her up. But Carter's evening had been spoiled, and it was all his fault. He would have worried about her more, if he hadn't been trying to stop himself from throwing up in the cab. Sitting there with his head out of the window seemed to be the only way to keep what was left in his stomach on the inside, but it wasn't exactly conducive for conversation.

"I need a shower," was all she said when they got back to her place.

Luckily, she had more than one bathroom; because Jack had the sudden urge to get rid of everything he'd saved up during the cab ride. Even after his stomach was finally empty, he had no inclination to move. He lay on Carter's bathroom floor, and contemplated the true meaning of Christmas. It wasn't this.

"Come on, sir," her voice interrupted his misery.

"No," he protested, "I might throw up again."

"I'll get you a bucket."

Helping him to stand, Carter led him down the corridor towards the guest room. In his weakened condition, Jack had no choice but to lean against her. Fresh from the shower, she smelled so nice, felt so soft and warm… but he couldn't even contemplate doing anything about it. Clean sheets and soft pillows were all he wanted right now.

"Sorry about your dress," he muttered as he fell onto the bed.

"You can buy me a new one," she replied. "Happy Christmas, sir."

Jack couldn't even be bothered to reply. Closing his eyes, the last thing he heard was someone singing. A woman's voice. It was kind of off key.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light.
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight…"