A/N: One of my twin cousins gave me this idea! He was all, "Did you write that thing I told you about (cuz they know I write Avatar stories on the internet)?" and I was all, "…You told me to write something?" cuz he DIDN'T tell me anything, but they're little, so… yeah, anyways he goes, "Yeah, the story about Sokka writing a letter to Toph," and right there I thought, Why would I do that?! Toph can't read!! But then he said, "And at the end, he says, 'P.S. You smell really bad!'" And that's when I thought, You little munchkin, you're a GENIUS!!
And thus, this story was born! BTW, this is NOT a Tokka story! So I hope you guys enjoy it, but before we start…
Disclaimer: Uh…
Sokka: C'mon, think of something!!
Me: Well, if you're so smart, YOU say it!
Sokka: Pfft, easy peasy! Tangy –
Me: Make it creative.
Sokka: Uh… sure! Um… OH! I got it! Angy-tay oesn't-day own-ay Avatar-ay: Uh-tay Ast-lay Air-ay Ender-bay!! In your face, Angy-tay!
Me: T.T
With Lots of LoveDear Toph,
I know, I know, you can't read. But that is EXACTLY why I'm writing this letter! You always make fun of me, always mock me and make sarcastic comments at who? Oh yeah, ME!! So this is payback… Hard… Core… PAYBACK!!
…That you will NEVER get, so HA! I get to enjoy this uber sweet payback without the consequences of you chucking rocks at me! IN YOUR FACE!!
Alright, so let's start. Ahem, Toph Bei Fong… you are really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY not nice! Seriously, you need to lighten up and give me a break every now and then! Now, I don't mind you being mean to my sister or Aang, but to ME of all people… c'mon, who DOESN'T love me?!
I think that you look really weird in dresses. Trust me, I am SO glad you joined us and stopped wearing them all the time! But I guess you'd agree with me here, so I'm not really insulting you…
You're pretty gross when you want to be, too. Picking your TOES?! Who does that?! …Y'know, besides you? It's just NASTY! Ew. And then you don't take baths! How can you stand to be so DIRTY!? Sick-o! That's what you are, you're a sick-o!
Next order of business: all those nicknames! You give them to EVERYBODY! And I speak for everyone when I say they are despised by all! You call Aang 'Twinkle Toes'. It lowers his self-esteem as a member of the male species! How could you?! And Katara is 'Sugar Queen' and/or 'Sweetness'. How can you even think of giving her those names? She is most certainly NOT sweet! …at least, to me she isn't. And then there's ME. Snoozles?! WHAT IS THIS?! I don't sleep THAT often! I just happen to have my eyes closed longer than anyone else, that's all! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!!
Last thing I wanna get off my chest. You are very mean to me, saying mean things and sarcastic comments and making fun of me and hitting me… it just hurts my feelings, you know? I don't like it, danggit! So I guess what I'm trying to say is…
GET OFF MY BACK, WOMAN!!
With lots of love,
Sokka
P.S. You smell really bad!
oOoOo
Sokka smiled in satisfaction, tucking the parchment in his bag rather lazily. Walking off to feed Appa and Momo, he heard Katara ask, "What's this?" Sokka turned around to find his sister clutching his imaginary letter to Toph in her dainty hands.
Sokka went into panic mode. This was NOT supposed to happen in his genius plan! "Katara, that's-"
"It's addressed to you, Toph," Katara said, flipping the folded note over.
"Really?" asked Toph, quite confused. "Huh. That's weird. Will you read it to me?"
Sokka immediately started hyperventilating. Not good, this was NOT good! "NO!" he yelled. "Katara, that's not for Toph, it's MINE! STOP!!"
But Katara had already started reading. Sokka waited anxiously, biting his nails right down to the skin. On tiptoes he bounced, watching Toph's unchanging expression throughout the entire letter.
Katara's reading finished with his post script, and she turned to her brother. "Sokka, how could you possibly write this? This is completely stupid, of you and-"
She stopped herself, realizing that Toph had been completely silent throughout her entire ramble. Katara and Sokka both turned to look at the blind girl, puzzled expressions present on their faces.
Toph felt them turn their gazes upon her. She silently stood and dusted herself off. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Sokka. I deserved every word you said." And with that, she walked off.
Katara and Sokka turned to each other, both shocked. Sokka's face quickly changed to one of glee, though, as he shouted, "Yes! I'm off the hook, I-"
All of a sudden, he felt a rumbling beneath his feet. "Aw, man!" he cried before being forcibly plunged into the ground, only his head peeking out of the dirt.
Toph laughed hysterically. "You thought I actually meant that?!" she yelled. "You have much to learn, Meathead!"
Katara laughed along with her, all the while Sokka muttering something about never writing a letter again.
A/N: Ta-dah! Short and sweet! Just so you know, Toph is one of my fav characters, so don't think that I was dissing her in that letter. She ROCKS… no pun intended…
REVIEW OR ELSE THE EVIL CLOWNS FROM SPACE WILL COME AND EAT YOUR BRAINS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!!
Tangy :D