Disclamer: If I owned Harry Potter, Voldemort would constantly start to commit suicide, go into a crappy flashback, and then descide to just continue being dark and sensitive with low-self-esteem, pining for his secret love, Harry Potter, and planning a way to blask Ginny Weasley to itty bitty bits, making Fred and Draco really depressed, and start seeking comfort from some girl who bears a striking resemblence to myself, forming a nice little love triangle, only Fred and Draco don't like eachother much until a tragedy occurs that forces them to forget their differences and become bestest buddies. Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter.

17 Ways To Annoy Lord Voldemort

1. Repeditively tell him that the reason he keeps loosing his supporters is because he doesn't have a super cool scar like Harry Potter.

2. Only wear red and gold at Death Eater meetings and refuse to wear different colors. Watch his eye twitch just at the sight of him.

3. On his birthday, throw him a party, insisting he is a lord and deserves entertainment. Take away his wand, insisting everything must be done for him, and invite Harry Potter. Kill him. Watch him sob in utter depression for having his life's ambition stolen from him.

4. Tell him destroying the world was so last week.

5. Tell him to stop being emo, because it's not dark enough and too Harry Potter, and he can't afford a psycho lunatic after him.

6. Replace his wand with one from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and bring Harry Potter. Watch him try to curse The-Boy-Who-Just-Won't-Bloody-Die with a rubber chicken!

7. Ask him constantly how his Death Eaters eat death.

8. Tell him that Lucius and Narcissa are having marriage troubles and Lucius is looking for new 'special someone'. Wink suggestfully.

9. When he is staring at you with anger, give him an Anger Management card and say, "Call. You really need it."

10. Call him Moldywart Potter, and tell him that once that baby of his is born, it'll probably kill him in his sleep because of it's inheirited must-kill-my-father/Lord Voldemort gene.

11. Ask him where he got his robes, when the gay wizard store burned down after the owner broke up with Dumbledore.

12. Tell him that he should take sexy lessons from Draco Malfoy.

13. When he's mad about not being able to kill Harry Potter and taking out his anger on you, give him this advice: "Step One: Get up and walk into Hogwarts, seeing as it's pathetically easy, as everyone's to scared of him to do anything. Step Two: Kill him. Step Three: Leave." Then ask him how difficult it was to come up with that plan.

14. Tell him that it's so nice that he gave his beauty for the Veela. Now nice boys like Harry Potter have girls on their arms, and you're stuck with Bellatrix.

15. If he notes that he is a powerful man, scream hysterically, "MAN?! Didn't see THAT coming!"

16. Teach him the words to "My Humps".

17. Put the Imperius curse on him, and make him sing "My Milkshake" on top of the table at the Death Eater meeting while dancing like Justin Timberlake. Videotape it. Send it to Harry Potter.