Hello!! This is a story about the Akatsuki. (Which I just learned how to pronounce the other day...) It's a random story that doesn't make any sense. But hopefully, you'll enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Itachi or Pein. But their both beasts.

This was one of the few meetings that the Akatsuki rarely had. Why were they meeting at this particular time? Was it to set further plans on capturing the Nine-tailed Fox demon? Or was it to decide on their next victim? Well...not quite.

"Itachi, darling, you need to get your nails done. You can't go around being all formidable when half your nails aren't painted." Itachi growled at the offending male. Why was he here anyway.

"Why is this dolt here, anyway?! He yelled at Kisame. Kisame's gills flared from the situation.

"Leader-sama said that some of us were getting "30 packs" and needed to work out more. So he hired him. He supposed to work on our appearance too." The afro-haired man in front of him nodded.

"So, get that finger nail polish out doll. We're gonna get to work!" The Akatsuki groaned as tons of finger nail polish was brought out from behind the man's back. "I brought other colors too in case some of you wanted more of a variety.

"Why doesn't Pein-sama just hire someone to paint our nails in our sleep like he usually does?" Sasori asked.

"Oh come one guys!! Your not going to have slaves forever! You need to learn how to paint your own nails. Now!!!! Untwist the lid annnnnnnd...DIP! BRUSH! DIP! BRUSH!" Hidan stepped back.

"Who's this guy again?"

"His name is Richard Simmons. I don't know where Pein sama found him but I'd rather kill him." All the Akatsuki nodded. Well, most of them.

"Well, I don't know guys!" exclaimed Deidara. "This could be fun!" he said while following the exercise.

"You're a fag. Of course it's fun to you." Kisame hissed. Richard Simmons stopped the exercise and stared at the fish-like man.

"Look here Fish-O-Filet. There is nothing wrong with being a fag and doing fag exercises." he became excited all of a sudden. "Now look everyone! Here is a new fun thing I picked up. It works the thighs and the abs. It's called the bend and snap!!" he proceeded to demonstrate. The Akatsuki backed away from the man and flinched as he snapped up to a standing position.

"There is a lot wrong with being a fag. And that's one of them." Sasori said. Itachi looked around.

"Am I the only one who thinks it's suspicious that Leader-sama isn't here?" Everyone nodded.

"Miserable wretch...but in a mighty and manly way." Kisame growled. Richard popped up beside him.

"Who's manly? I want to see him!" Everyone groaned as he went to look for the " hiding hunk of beast".

"What did we do wrong? I thought Tobi was a good boy!" Tobi cried from where he was huddled in a corner. Sasori went over and patted him on the head.

"We thought we all were Tobi." Meanwhile Kisame and Itachi were huddled together planning.

"First we kill the fag. And then we find Pein-sama. Nobody humiliates the Akatsuki. Nobody.

fin

I know it's short but the next chapter should come pretty soon. And keep in mind that this is my first Naruto fic. In the meantime...REVIEW!!!!! (she says hysterically)