A/N: As a study break, I wrote this to show what happened to the goldfish Michelle gets after Martin to all those Danny bought. I also incorporate "The Devil Made Me Do It" to show why Danny's punishment sounded tougher, when realistically he had to only send her to her room for a normal timeout and no TV later. No 5YO would be in her room all day for mere disobedience. (Though Jesse wonders why she isn't in her room, it's standard procedure for Danny to have them thinking about it a very short time in their rooms, it seems. So, it's also possible he was done working, they were feeding the twins right before dinner, and she was only sent for a longer timeout of 30-40 minutes.)
Go Fish
D.J. Tanner, almost fourteen, and Stephanie, nine, confronted their dad, Danny, on the 2nd floor of their home. Danny was a widower and father of these two and Michelle, four. Michelle had killed her goldfish by accident, so Danny bought a replacement in an aquarium. He'd bought many more in fish bowls lining one of their largest cupboards.
"Dad, I can't believe that cupboard!" D.J. shouted.
"What, are the hinges loose on one?" He was obsessed with cleaning and neatness.
"Not that," Stephanie flailed her hand. "We're talking about the goldfish!"
"Remember how hard it was to get over Mom's death!" D.J. asked, visibly upset.
"Girls…of course I do. Even with your Uncle Jesse and Joey moving in, and your soon to be Aunt Becky, I've missed Mom like crazy sometimes. That's why I did this."
"But, Dad, you can't just replace Martin with twenty more," D.J. said.
"I'm not replacing Martin with twenty. When the new one dies, and all the babies it just had, then I'll give her one of the ones in the cupboard."
"He just doesn't get it, does he?"
"I'm afraid not, Steph. Dad, it's not about goldfish. It's about Mom. Do you realize how much I'd give to have just a little more time with her?" She began tearing up, and the three embraced.
"I know, Deej, I know. I feel the same way," Danny said sadly. After the long, tender hug, he added, "I don't want Michelle to have to face something like that; not even with a goldfish."
"Dad, Michelle has to be told the facts of life," Stephanie insisted.
"Why? What has she heard?" Danny asked nervously.
D.J. understood his fear. "Not those facts, those can wait a few years." He breathed a sigh of relief.
"We were really sad, but now we're over it. At least, as much as we'll ever be."
"But Michelle shouldn't think she can just replace someone with another person. You said yourself, we'll never replace Mom, even if you would remarry."
"You're right. I know, my buying all those upsets you. And, I guess you're right; she needs to learn how to handle a death. But, I just don't like seeing her sad. But, maybe we should get rid of the extras. Now that she has a bunch, and a proper aquarium."
"I think we're too late," Stephanie said as Michelle ran upstairs.
"Come quick, come quick!" Michelle shouted joyously. "More fishies in the cupboard!"
Danny didn't know what to say, but Stephanie was never short on words. "Right. Those are…party favors. For the wedding," Stephanie explained.
"Yeah," D.J. agreed, not knowing what else to say. "Just like balloons at a birthday party."
"You can keep your aquarium. But, well, D.J. and Stephanie are right," Danny said, passing them a thankful glance. He knew they were right; Michelle shouldn't think anyone could be replaced that easily. "We'll write names from the guest book, and hold a raffle."
Joey had copied all the names on post-it notes. At the reception, after everyone ate, Danny announced that they had a "very special surprise" for the guests, and began drawing names from a hat.
"Howie, you get the first choice," Danny announced.
Howie - Michelle's four-year-old cousin - went with his parents to pick out one of the fish. "Whatever you do, don't give him a bubble bath," Michelle advised.
D.J.'s best friend Kimmy grinned proudly at her. "Now I understand that motto. Howie Long must have given lots of fish away as a Senator." Noting D.J.'s thoroughly baffled look, Kimmy said, "You know, the guy we learned about in history. His nickname was 'Goldfish.'"
"Kimmy, Howie Long plays for the Raiders. Huey Long was the senator, his nickname was 'Kingfish,' not 'Goldfish.'"
"Oh. Well, at least I remembered his motto for the test - 'Every man a fish.' Now it makes sense."
D.J. hated to break it to her, but she had to. "Kimmy, Huey Long believed every citizen should be treated like a king. It was 'Every Man a King' - not a fish."
"Oh." Kimmy thought for a second. "The teacher's gonna write something about laughing convulsively again, huh?"
"I wouldn't doubt it."
Stephanie had overheard the conversation. As she brought Kimmy a fish, she said, "Here. His name's Huey. Knowing you, you'll vote for him when you're old enough."
A year later, Michelle had finished eating in her room, and was watching her goldfish in the aquarium against the wall opposite the door. D.J. entered. Danny, who had eaten with and talked with Michelle, said once D.J. and she were done talking Michelle could come downstairs. He took the plates and left.
"Hey, Michelle." D.J. sat on Michelle's bed, and Michelle came and snuggled with her. "Do you still like those fish? Steph's had to clean the tank and feed them the last few weeks."
"Daddy asked that, too."
"You have a choice, you know. It was nice to have them today. But, Daddy had let you out of timeout; you just chose to sulk up here when you couldn't go with us." He'd sent her to her room for a normal, fifteen minute or so timeout for disobeying a direct order, and had also grounded her, since it had been so close to the time when she'd wrecked lots of stuff by putting her Gumby in the microwave.
"Daddy told me," Michelle said, lowering her head. For running away after timeout she'd had to spend even more time in her room, though it had only been fifteen minutes or so till supper by then. Danny had given her some things to do, like put pictures in albums. It had still been long, though.
"You did that; last week you put your Gumby in the microwave and shorted out a bunch of stuff. You're going to start obeying Daddy again, right?"
Michelle knew Danny was normally very lenient, but D.J. promised to be much tougher if Danny ever lost control of her. "I better. Or you'll deal with me instead," Michelle said, grinning sheepishly. Uncertainty over what would happen meant Michelle didn't want to think of crossing that line.
"That wouldn't be pleasant for either of us," D.J. agreed, glad her psychological warfare still worked with Michelle - and that she obeyed when D.J. gave extra chores. "You don't have to keep the fish, you know."
"Good. Let Stephanie have them."
"Daddy said he could tell you were tired of them. But, Steph doesn't have time for another pet, and we all have Comet."
Michelle thought for a second. "Mr. Johnson likes pets."
D.J. agreed. Eddie Johnson was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. She visited him as a volunteer, and he'd been to the house, too, with supervised help except for the first time. He'd helped judge a neighborhood dog show once.
"Maybe he'd like them since we don't want them."
D.J. beamed, giving Michelle a big hug. "That's a great idea, Michelle. Daddy's going to be so proud of you for suggesting that. Mr. Johnson's lonely there sometimes. And, with the nurses helping to feed the fish, that's something that whole unit will love."
"I'm a good girl again!"
"You sure are. Let's go downstairs, and call the nursing home. They'll love having all those fish donated." And, as D.J. expected, they did.