Hi~ This is a one-shot crack... Chapter two is coming right up. Stay tuned ;)
I do not own KHR characters (I'd like to own them, really!)
Warnings
This story may/ contains:
-Grammatical and spelling errors (quite a number but I'm not sure where tell me if you spot one)
-Verbal language
-Human abusing and trickery (good kid don't do that!)
Enjoy~ Don't throw your shoes at me!
Facebook Incident
Squalo has finally broken free from Xanxus master grip as he just stepped out of his bathroom for the ninth time today and he isn't looking forward to break his old record (which 11 times). He turns the blower specially made to dry his 170.5cm's long silver hair (he really did measured his hair, and it is only matter of time they're touching the ground!) which has now all tangled and twisted up into knots to the maximum wind it can produce. Squalo has to comb every single tuft of his very very very long hair that is now fluttering, or I'd say dancing menacingly in random direction with random locks sticking together in the air. It took him a good half an hour to finish the irksome job that he's forced to do approximately every 4 hours (poor man, when he hasn't master the art of blow-drying his very very very long hair back then it took him two hours and a couple of minutes, oh yeah, 13 minutes and 45 second his can still remember clearly the face he'd made after staring at the stopwatch for a millisecond before simply lamented the time that he has wasted on his motherfucking hair) because by the end of all his effort it will all reverse back to the start (he do not need to be reminded).
Feeling a sense of liberty, Squalo simply sprawls on his bed, eyes attach to the fancy homepage of his laptop which appears to be Facebook, his last used website. He log in and quickly type a few lines of word on his status bar.
Superbia Squalo: VOI! NOTHING IS BETTER THAN BEING ALONE WITHOUT ANY SHITTY ANNOYING FAGS AROUND! FREE, FINALLY!
Squalo is happy with his status and posts it. A nice status and a handsome profile picture. Mmm~ Squalo is proud of himself. Not long, he receives a few likes and a bunch of comment and they're notified at the notification button (which reads 39). What the fuck? Who's spamming his status? Squalo thought that he can finally have his own sweet time before these faggots burst his bubble. He clicks on one of the notification and it jumps to his status.
Superbia Squalo: VOI! NOTHING IS BETTER THAN BEING ALONE WITHOUT ANY SHITTY ANNOYING FAGS AROUND! FREE, FINALLY!
Hibari Kyoya, Gokudera Hayato, Yamamoto Takeshi and 3 others likes this.
Hibari Kyoya commented on your status: I hate crowding herbivores. I hope they'd just leave me alone.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: Hey U long-haired freak, totally agree (except I wan de Tenth 2 b wif me)! Hibari Kyoya watya babbling about! Nobody asked you 2 b around!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Haha lol. It seems like u guys r pretty much of a loner.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: Yamamoto Takeshi of cos U wun unnstan U baseball freak!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol thn u'll hv 2 make me unnstan Gokudera Hayato.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: no 1 hv any hellish interest in explaining tat 2 U! Yamamoto Takeshi
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: If u think so th I wun force u lol.
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Whoops *thn* lol Gokudera Hayato
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: U baseball freak! do u hafta b such n idiot 2 tag me 4 a shitty mistake uve did! Yamamoto Takeshi
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol u tag my name 2 sry th lol.
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Whoops, I keep miss typing de 'n' in de word 'thn'. Lol this word must b cursed.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: DO U HAFTA LOL EVERY 3 SEC!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Nt reali lol.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: fuck im outta here!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol y Gokudera Hayato?
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: urghhh ure driving me crazy!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol sry thn Gokudera Hayato~
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Hey I've gt de 'thn' rite tis time! Lucky!
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: *smacks forehead* god saves me from this idiot!
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Hieeee y do u say so Squalo? Gokudera Hayato Chill Gokudera... Yamamoto Takeshi U're truly usin 2 much LOL...
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Oh I din realize that um ok lol.
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: Tenth! c! that baseball freak wil nv unnstan!
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: ... there's no nid 2 b angry Gokudera.
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Why are eveeryone here to the extreme!
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: Sawada Tsunayoshi im sry, Tenth! Sasagawa Ryohei shut up lawn-head!
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Heyyyy you tako-head can't ask me to shut up to the extremeeeeee!
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Eh... There's no nid 2 apologize Gokudera... Oh big bro we're just passer-by... Ahh stop fighting already!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: will U ever stop loling!? ohhh im sry Tenth! *bows* i wont fight anymore... i'll let U off tis time lawn-head!
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Like I want a fight with a tako!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Ok lol...
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: ...
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: Kufufufu... I see Mr. Superbia is so popular that his recent post takes half of my wall...
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: ! Mukuro-san!
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: hey! y r u here u pineapple freak!?
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: Kufufufu, that's not very nice Mr. Gokudera...
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Hi lol dun mind Gokudera he's jus a bit anxious Mukuro Rokudo...
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Hi to the extreme!
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: Kufufufu refering me to a fruit doesn't make me feel too good...
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Ahh gomenasai desu ne Mukuro-san~
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: Please watch out for your guardians Sawada..
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: hey is tat de way 2 talk 2 de Tenth! baseball freak U bastard!
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Gokudera! Stop bein rude n apologize!
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Yeah tako-head! You're rude!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Lol
Gokudera Hayato (Tenth's right hand man) commented on your status: right, for the Tenth! im sry! happy? Yamomoto Takeshi U R NT GOIN 2 LOL FOR THE NX TIME I SWEAR I'LL SCREW U IN THE NAME OF THE TENTH!
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status:Hey hey Gokudera chill! I din allow tat!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Ok ok laugh out loud~
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: ...Your guardians are rather 'special' Sawada.
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Ehh... i dk... Gokudera is offline already?
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Yamamoto Takeshi You're loling too much to the extreme!
Yamamoto Takeshi commented on your status: Ahaha really? Lol. Hey I nidda offline cuz Gokudera Hayato is coming over! Bye~
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: *smacks forehead* Oh god he's really going to beat Yamamoto up...
Lambo the great commented on your status: hiyaaaaa lambo san is here hiyyaaaaaaa
Sawada Tsunayoshi commented on your status: Lambo! Aren't you way 2 young 2 own a FB account!?
Lambo the great commented on your status: hiiiiyyaaaaa lambo sama made rauji his servant open an account for lambo sama and teach lambo sama how to use
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Stupid cow you're don't even know how to use the shift key to the extreme!
Lambo the great commented on your status: lambo SAMA IS GREAT LAMBO SAMA KNOWS HOW TOO USE SHIFT KIEYYAAAA
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: That is Caps Lock you stupid cow!
Mukuro Rokudo commented on your status: Kufufufufu...
Chrome Dokuro commented on your status: Umm Mukuro-sama... I bought you apples and I've slice them. You can come down to eat them now.
Mukuro Rokuro commented on your status: Kufufu Thank you my dear Chrome, Nagi... It seems like my tea is ready kufufufufu... Arrivederci Vongola...
Sawada Tsuanayoshi commented on your status: Eh? Chrome Dokuro
Chrome Dokuro commented on your status: Yes Boss?
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Hey aren't you Kyoko's really weird friend? Hi to the extreme!
Chrome Dokuro commented on your status: ...
Sawada Tsuanayoshi commented on your status: Ahh nothin reali Chrome Dokuro... Pls go n enjoy ur apples~
Chrome Dokuro commented on your status: Um hai Boss.
Hibari Kyoya commented on your status: I think I've just saw Mukuro Rokudo around. I'm going to bite him to death.
Sawada Tsuanayoshi commented on your status: Hieeeee Hibari-san! Mukuro-san just left!
Hibari Kyoya commented on your status: If I see anyone of you herbivores crowding in Facebook (spamming my wall) I'll bite you to death!
Lambo the great commented on your status: HiyyyyyyAA LamboSama knows HOW to used Shift Kieeeyyyaaaa
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Stupid cow look you're pressing the tab key too much to the extreeeme!
Sawada Tsuanayoshi commented on your status: Hieee big bro we'll better leave b4 Hibari-san bites us to death!
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Aik? Sawada's offline already? Tsk bye then, I guess.
Lambo the great commented on your status: hIyyaaaaA no Fun Eveyyyone iss Off LamboSama is goin too finde Ipin
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: ohhoho thats nt a reali good status to post on squ-chan~~ youre so hurtful... *sobs*
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishishi he means the Prince is an annoy fag? shishishishi the Prince is going to cut off his hair...
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: heyy d u guys notice theres a ton of comments here? squ-chan is so popular! belphy-chan no u wun cut his hair theyre so biiieutiful i wan 2 braid and style em~~
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: No one gives a hell damn on that idiot long-hair
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi you just did you old thunder peasant~
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: Che. I'm leaving you ulgy prince.
Mammon commented on your status: Why is everyone here, meeting?
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi baby youre finally appreciating what the Prince made for you... read the comments from the top to the bottom to find out yourself shishishishi... Leviathan you digusting thunder peasant the Prince will definitely kill you.
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: ohohoho mammy uve use the account belphy-chan made 4 u~
Mammon commented on your status: Belphagor the Prince Don't call me 'baby' and if you want me to read all the comments you'll have to pay me one penny for each character. Lussuria Luvs Life Stop calling 'Mammy' or I'm going charge you 50 euros every time you utter that name. PS: Bel since when do you have that picture (my profile picture the 1st time I opened this account)!? And why is my alternate name is 'Mammy'!?
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi mammy ehy did you removed that cute pink tutu picture? the Prince has many~ many because the Prince is a genius ushishishishi... you will read all the comments here if you dont want them to be exposed... and that's your name mammy the Prince didnt allow you to remove it shishishi...
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: belphy-chan ure just so mean mmmmmnn~~
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi~~~
Upon reading all the comments, Squalo is further angered that he's typing like lightning to shoo his colleagues out of his wall (life).
Superbia Squalo commented on his own status: VOIIII! WHY ARE YOU FAGGOTS SPAMMING MY POST! GET LOST! Hibari Kyoya FUCK THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT NOW! Yamomato Takeshi VOII STOP LOL AND GO PRACTISE YOUR SWORD YOU BRAT! Gokudera Hayato THAT'S RIGHT! Sawada Tsunayoshi BECAUSE YOU BRATS ARE JUST AS ANNOYING! Lussuria! STOP CALLING ME SQU-CHAN AND NO YOU'RE NOT FUCKING TOUCHING MY HAIR AND I HAVEN'T KILL YOU FOR SECRETLY BRAIDING MY HAIR LAST WEEK! Belphegor the Prince YOU'RE JUST AS ANNOYING AS WELL!
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: ure so mean squ-chan~
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi even your posts are in capital letters and theyre making the Prince goes blind you long-hair peasant ushisishsishi~~
Mammon commented on your status: I kind of agree with you Superbia Squalo sometimes they're really annoying I'd say. Bel you're not calling me 'Mammy'. And my name is Mammon by the way if you forgot.
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: took you long enough, baby mammy shishishishi~
Superbia Squalo commented on your own status: VOII THE HELL GET LOST NOW! PS Mammon EXACTLY!
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi the Prince comes and goes as he likes you peasant...
Mammon commented on your status: Mu mu I give up~ Nothing much to do here but I've finish counting my money today... I'm going to find a way to earn money on Facebook.
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: smart 1 mammy~~! il show u hw~~ hw abt we create a fashion site eh?
Mammon commented on your status: Mu mu. As long as it will generates income I don't care.
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: okaieee~~ im in the common room's third computer~ u cn find me here~~
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: shishishi they left your wall sharkie~~
Superbia Squalo commented on your own status: NOT LIKE I WANT THEM AROUND!
Xanxus commented on your status: Oi you scumbags are Facebooking here and neglecting my tea you motherfucking trashes.
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: Shishishishi your job peasant sharkie~
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: Boss! I'll send it to you now!
Superbia Squalo commented on your own status: VOI GO GET IT ON YOUR OWN YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!
Xanxus commented on your status: You trash is getting my food to me in 3 minutes time. And you trash you're not putting that ugly profile picture of yours it gives me a fucking headache.
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: Okay Boss your tea is coming! Hey Boss is asking you remove your shitty photo!
Superbia Squalo commented on your own status: VOI! WHAT THE FUCK!?
Xanxus commented on your status: I. Am. Commanding. You. Trash. You. Damn shark. You. Will. Get. Me. My. Food. Or. I. Will. Blast. Your. Laptop. Sky high. And YOU trash. Don't. You. Dare. Put. An. Edited. Photo. Of. Me and you together. As. Profile. Picture.
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: B-but why Boss! It is so nice! (TT_TT)
Superbia Squalo commented on your own status: TCH! WELL FINE YOU LAZY SHITTY BOSS!
Xanxus commented on your status: Good. *Smirks* You have two minutes left trash.
Squalo, angrily slams his laptop closed and storms out of his room to get Xanxus' meal for him. Just only he thought he is free for a whole evening...
Downstairs, people in the Varia are talking about seeing a strange phenomena: a quicksilver flashing through the kitchen, down the alleys and various rooms for a split-moment and it's gone. They wondered if it is a new kind of illustion that the Varia Mist guardian created. But the truth is, the Mist guardian is still having his eyes glued to Facebook with the flamboyant Sun guardian in the common room.
Squalo is running on his maximum speed, and is still accelerating (he would've win an Olympic gold medal running this fast, faster than Bolt!) . He bolts thought the whole Varia Castle, searching every room for Xanxus, not caring if he breaks a couple of statues and antiques and other decorations in the process. Holy shit where is Xanxus!? He though bitterly as he tries to erase the possibility of him washing his hair for the 10th times today that's constantly popping underneath his thick skull. Goddamned. If the food doesn't arrives in time, he's a deadmeat.
No sign of Xanxus. And there only 23 seconds left.
xxx
Meanwhile, Xanxus is leisurely enjoying his hi-tea in a five-star restaurant. He can't help grinning to himself thinking how Squalo would be in a rush finding him to serve his tea. Chewing his sandwich, Xanxus idly takes out his iphone and posts a status alongside with a picture of him enjoying the first-class tea in the most luxurious restaurant in town that he just took.
Xanxus: Stupid shark trash I hope you sweat so much that you'll have to wash your hair again while I enjoys my food. Mmm.
Mammon, Belphegor the Prince, Leviathan, Lussuria Luvs Life and 24 others likes this.
Leviathan (Levi belongs to Boss) commented on your status: Boss! You're so great!
Lussuria Luvs Life (Lussuria-nee-san) commented on your status: oww Bossu u din call us 2 enjoy hi-tea together~~
Mammon commented on your status: Boss is having such a nice tea with a beautiful scenery behind.
Belphegor the Prince commented on your status: Ushishishi thats a hi-tea fit for a Prince, and also Boss...
Lambo the great commented on your status: Hiyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa Lambo san want HiyYYYAAAAAAAAaaaa
Ipin commented on your status: zhe shi na li a Lambo jiao Ipin kai le ge hu kou (Where is this? Lambo made Ipin open an account...)
Sasagawa Ryohei (Ryohei to the extreme) commented on your status: Wow this is nice to the extreme!
Bianchi commented on your status: That's Gusto's isn't it? I haven't been there for years. They serve the finest food and the scenery is beautiful.
Shamal commented on your status: True! How true! With beauties over there hey Bianchi let me have a kiss...
Bianchi commented on your status: *punch* Get lost Shamal.
Shamal commented on your status: Ouch~ *rubs wound* That's not very gentle Bianchi~
Gokudera Hayato commented on your status: u sure knw hw 2 enjoy life Xanxus! Arghhh a-aneki! *faints*
View the other 97 comments.
End
Please Review after reading the story with your dying will!
Haha just kidding... Just please, review before leaving okay?
I know you will, right? Right? *death glares*