Author's Notes:
Well, here it is, finished on Christmas Eve, given to my mom on Christmas, and now to you as a mid-winter gift to cheer y'all up with the early nightfall and blizzards and all that. So, I hope you like this one better than the last - I certainly do. Of course, that's not saying much, I never liked the first one to begin with so... anyway, enjoy. :-)
Whose Idea Was This Anyway 2
Clive: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway: Wizarding Edition 2. Today's performers are Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy!
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: The rules are as follows; no magic is to be used during games. And a thousand points will be given to each performer for every game played. Understood?
Performers: (nod)
Clive: All right. The first game tonight is called Sixty-Second Alphabet. In this game, the four performers are going to act out a scene where every line they say has to start with the next letter of the alphabet - starting with L. Now, your scene is: Ron and Harry are setting up their single friends, Draco and Hermione. If you're all ready, go!
Harry: (walks over to Draco and points to Hermione) Lloyd, this is the girl I was telling you about.
Draco: Mudblood? You set me up with a Mudblood?
Hermione: Naomi. My name is Naomi.
Ron: (whispers to Harry) Oh no! They hate each other already!
Harry: Please, can't we all just get along?
Draco: Question - (turns to Hermione) - what do you like to do for fun?
Hermione: Read, and do homework. What else is there?
Draco: Silly girl. Don't you know that flying is the best thing in the world?
Ron: Think of another answer, Naomi.
Hermione: Under no circumstances am I going on a date with you!
Draco: Veela are so much prettier than you anyway.
Harry: What's with all the insults?
Hermione: Xena probably never had to deal with idiots like these.
Draco: You watch that show too?!
Ron: (whispers to Harry) Zoinks, they're weird.
Harry: Aye. We shouldn't have set them up.
Draco: Be quiet! Can't you see that trying to talk over here?
Hermione: Calm down, Lloyd.
Draco: Don't tell me what to do. If I what to beat up the kids with the glasses, I'll beat him up.
Harry: Everyone, let's calm down and think about this -
Draco: Forget it, I'm outta here.
Ron: Good. Now maybe we can have some fun.
Draco: Heard that, I did!
Hermione: Is it just me, or does he really talk like Yoda?
Ron: Jinkies! You're right!
Harry: 'Kay, you really have to stop watching Scooby-Doo.
Ron: Leave me alone.
Clive: (buzzes them all out)
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: Well done. Now, the next game is called Number of Words. This is also for all contestants. They're going to act out another scene but this time they can only use a certain amount of words. Hermione, you are going to play Rowena Ravenclaw and you can say six words at a time. Draco, you're going to play Salazar Slytherin and you can say four words. Harry will be Godric Gryffindor and can say five words. And Ron -
Ron: Oh no...
Clive: You are Helga Hufflepuff and you can say three words. Start when you're all ready.
Hermione/Rowena: What shall we call our school?
Draco/Salazar: Salazar's Fine Arts Academy.
Ron/Helga: (using high-pitched voice) Don't be silly!
Harry/Godric: Waterbang is a good name.
Hermione/Rowena: It needs something more ... official-sounding.
Draco/Salazar: I still say Salazar's.
Hermione/Rowena: We're not naming it after you.
Ron/Helga: (counts on fingers) Deal with it!
Draco/Salazar: What's your idea, then?
Ron/Helga: Wise Hog Institute?
Harry/Godric: Wise Hog? No way.
Ron/Helga: Hogs are smart.
Hermione/Rowena: She's right. But it needs something.
Draco/Salazar: Warts! Witches have warts!
Hermione/Rowena: Not all, thank you very much.
Harry/Godric: What about Hogwarts School?
Ron/Helga: I like it.
Draco/Salazar: I agree. That's it.
Hermione/Rowena: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
Clive: (buzzes them all out)
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: Very good. Our next game is called Two-Line Vocabulary. Hermione, you are the Headmistress of Hogwarts and Ron and Draco have come to you looking for jobs. Ron, the only two lines you can say are "Can I have a raise?" and "That's not fair." Draco, your lines are "Holy Hippogriffs" and "I'll do anything you want." Harry, you are Hermione's Deputy and you and Hermione can say anything. You can start now.
Hermione: Mr. Malfoy, let's start with you. Wh -
Ron: That's not fair!
Hermione: You'll get your turn, Mr. Weasley. Now, Mr. Malfoy, what staff position is it you're looking to have?
Draco: I'll do anything you want.
Harry: That's a good work ethic, but I'm afraid we need to know what you're capable of before we hire you.
Ron: Can I have a raise?
Draco: Holy Hippogriffs.
Hermione: I'm afraid that's not possible until you're hired.
Draco: I'll do anything you want. (smiles sweetly at Hermione)
Hermione: I know, Mr. Malfoy. But we still don't know what you can do.
Ron: That's not fair.
Harry: Actually it's quite reasonable since we can't ha -
Draco: Holy Hippogriffs!
Clive: (buzzes them all out)
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: All right. It's now time to play Party Quirks. Ron is going to be the host of a party and the others are his guests, but each will be acting out a different role that Ron has to guess. Go!
Ron: I hope the Weird Sisters get here soon, my guests will be arriving any second!
Clive: (rings doorbell)
Ron: (opens door)
Hermione [as Umbridge]: (walks in)
Ron: Hello, Hermione. How are you today?
Hermione/Umbridge: Detention for speaking out of turn! Now, where did I put my quill?
Ron: (gulps) Uh, I don't know - but big pink toads aren't allowed at this party.
Hermione/Umbridge: (leaves)
Clive: (rings doorbell)
Ron: (opens door)
Draco [a timeturner]: (walks in, stands behind Ron and wraps his arms around Ron's neck)
Ron: (looks confused) Uh, Draco, you feeling okay?
Draco/timeturner: So, where are we going? I know a great little year in the dark ages. Or Canada, a couple years -
Ron: Years? Are you a timeturner?
Draco/timeturner: (leaves)
Clive: (rings doorbell)
Ron: (answers door)
Harry [as Draco]: (walks in) I'll have some tea and a freshly baked muffin, and be quick about it.
Ron: You're Snape!
Harry/Draco: Don't be stupid, Weasley.
Ron: You-Know-Who?
Harry/Draco: (sighs) My father's going to make you pay for calling me the Dark Lord.
Ron: Oh, you're Draco! I always get the three of them mixed up....
Draco: (glares evilly at Ron and Harry)
Clive: (buzzes them all out)
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: Perfect. Our final game of the night is Questions Only. The four performers are going to be at the Quidditch World Cup, but the can only speak in questions. Harry and Draco will be on one side and Ron and Hermione will be on the other. Begin when you're ready.
Hermione: Do you know which teams are playing?
Draco: If you don't like Quidditch, why are you here?
Hermione: Am I not allowed to be here?
Draco: ...
Clive: (buzzes Draco out)
Harry: Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
Hermione: Do I have to tell you everything?
Harry: Wasn't that the arrangement we made?
Hermione: Uh...
Clive: (buzzes Hermione out)
Ron: Great game, isn't it?
Harry: Who's winning?
Ron: Is our team wearing orange?
Harry: We have a team?
Ron: I don't know...
Clive: (buzzes Ron out)
Hermione: Aren't you the Seeker for that team out there?
Harry: What if I am?
Hermione: Well, shouldn't you be playing right now?
Harry: Oh, uh...
Clive: (buzzes them all out)
Audience: (Applauds)
Clive: The four of you can sit down while I add up the points.
Draco: (transforms his chair into a recliner and summons himself a cup of tea)
Harry and Ron: (sit down and start talking about the show)
Hermione: (starts rubbing her sore feet) Oh, whose idea was this anyway?
Draco: (chokes on tea and begins coughing)
The End
Author's Note:
As I promised, some tv quotes. And for anyone who has watched Kid Nation, you'd probably recognize "Deal with it" as Taylor's slogan. lol.
Please review.
-Lizzy