An Uncanny Solution
Written by Shaun Garin
I do not own any of these series. All characters owned by their original creators.
"Here's another book," said Hermione, setting the large musty tome in front of Harry.
Harry grunted, not looking up from his reading. Hermione sighed and sat down and flipped her own book open.
Ron looked up from his pile and said, "I think this is hopeless, Harry."
"I have to agree," put in Neville from the other side of the table. "There's nothing in here that could give you an edge against You-Know-Who."
Luna flipped through pages almost lazily. "There is always a way," she said dreamily, tapping a rhythm against the book covers. "There just has to be a will to find it."
"And if we don't?" asked Ginny. "We'll be facing down Tom alone."
Ron snickered. "C'mon, lets find something."
Harry rubbed his eyes from behind his glasses. "It's getting late."
"Just a few more pages," said Hermione, placing another book down. "Then we'll get some rest."
"Studying, Potter?" came the voice of Draco Malfoy from above Harry. Draco smirked as he chuckled and said, "There's nothing you can do to stop the Dark Lord. All mudbloods will be purged."
"Shove it, Malfoy, before I stick this wand up your arse," snarled Ron, standing up.
Draco smirked and Crabble and Goyle who hovered in the background cracked their knuckles menacingly. "Another time, Weasel." He then left.
Ron sat down, trembling with rage. "One of these days, I'll get him good."
A light went on in Harry's head. "You're right, Ron. We need to take care of Malfoy before the final showdown."
"But how?" asked Neville. "We can't just hex him and be done with it. He'll bounce back."
"Like a bad penny," said Ginny with a nod.
Silence. Then Luna said, "What you need is a binding pact. To keep him from interfering when you duel with the Dark Lord..."
"A pact... can it be done?" asked Harry.
Hermione gasped and then rushed off. She then came back with another musty tome and placed it down. "There IS something! Possibly even something that'll keep the Dark Lord at bay while we find a way to deal with him!"
"I'm listening," said Harry, feeling hope surge up from the bleak outlook of the seventh year at Hogwarts.
The Quidditch Pitch was filled with students and teachers. For once, it was not a Quidditch Game but rather a duel against bitter enemies. Today, the rivalry would be finished once and for all.
"All right Potter, you called me out here. What's this all about?" snapped Malfoy.
"Malfoy, I challenge you," said Harry. "A Wizards Pact: if you win, you get to do what you want with my life."
Malfoy smirked. "And if I loose?"
"Then you must abide by my terms as I get to do what I want with your life."
Malfoy sneered as he mounted his broom. "All right Potter. You're on! I'll be delivering you to the Dark Lord in five minutes!"
Harry grinned as he held out a Golden Snitch in his hand and mounted his broom. "The first one to find the snitch and catch it wins the match!"
Ron kicked the balls up into the air. The students roared as the unorthodox duel commenced.
"LET'S GO!" roared Harry as he took to the skies.
And the Quidditch Pitch erupted magically.
"It worked!"
"It worked!"
"Yes, it worked. Please stop repeating it," said Ginny as Ron and Harry jumped around happily.
"But it worked! Malfoy can't do anything about us now!" exulted Ron.
"It was rather effective," said Hermione with a nod.
Neville grinned. "Are you going to use something similar for You-Know-Who?"
Harry grinned. "After a success like this? Hell yes!"
The Daily Prophet Reporting :
You-Know-Who Defeated!
In a stunning turn of events tonight, the Dark Lord has been vanquished! Banished to an island and stripped of his magic for the rest of his unnatural life, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived has defeated the Dark Lord!
The rest of the Wizarding World breathes a grand sigh of relief as the threat of the former Dark Lord has been nullified, his wand destroyed and magic stripped from him. Living in exile on the Isle of Elba, You-Know-Who is under heavy lock and guard and will never be released for parole.
When interviewing Harry Potter, he had this to say : "When I found out about the prophesy, I was in a state of depression. Finding out that you had to kill someone was traumatizing enough. And then I discovered that I may not have to kill him at all. Simply remove his magic for the rest of his unnatural life. Death could have meant the loss of his magic, not me becoming his executioner."
Harry Potter, Age 17 told our readers that he invoked an ancient form of duelling; one that would invoke a powerful magic geas that would prevent the loser from taking action and abiding by the rules of the engagement.
"... it was really something, seeing Harry thrash that tosser," said Ron Weasley, Age 17.
"... he did it for people everywhere," said Hermione Granger, Age 16.
"... I can't believe he defeated the Dark Lord at a game of Pick Up Quidditch. Even if it IS a Xiaolin Showdown." - Neville Longbottom, Age 17.
"Bloody bastard cheated... but I can't do anything about it." - Draco Malfoy, Age 17.
"… Where did Potter find a Shen Gong Wu anyhow?" - Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts Professor.
For reference on the Xiaolin Showdown, refer to the Tomes of Dashi, ciria 665 AD.