the Message for the Future
This story is adapted from Landis Jeffery Ripples in the Dirac Sea (2002) and Seagal leach Love story (1970)
Align Centre words are the lyrics of Iori's song 未來べのメイせジー.(the Message for the Future)
SIDE A:
The shadow of death is like the tide, which came slowly to me with the majesty of the unfeeling. I don't want to run away, I know that makes no sense. The only thing I hope now is to have more time. A little more, so I can have my last thing done.
SIDE B:
I've left. The ripples of time spread to distant, calmed down as the waves forgotten by the world, as traveler's footprints. I must go, must. I will always live in the time of the past, for I could live in the future.
"Izumi Koushiro-san, please...sign on this form. " In the ICU, there were only two cold, unemotional eyes above the nurse's mask.
I machinery took the pen from my jacket pocket, then pulled out the cap.
Alright. Alright.
"Death is final, please pray the way. " These was the most groovelike words I had ever heard. Presumably because on my face she couldn't see any kinds of the sorrow.
But, seriously, shall I mourn over this scene?
This was already not the first time long since.
The moment he died, I was here by his side, for one, then two, then has more than one hundred times up to now.
So, this time, I just calmly looked up and closed my eyes, pretending to have never seen that white, pale sheets. But in my mind flashed by a slight white, dazzling, lingering light.
Something that I had no way to forget even after over one hundred times, the "past" my mind was bent on not to abandon.
Things we want to do, although now are only half done
but there will still be time
Only do we keep regret and sorrow in our heart
can we be stronger than now
"I'm back. " Opened the door, I habitually said to the empty home.
I slowly took off my shoes before walking through the living room, then entered the kitchen. It was already ten p.m. I didn't turn on the lights, thus leaving the room still pitch-dark. It doesn't matter, anyway I could find anything I want with my eyes closed. They couldn't run away, unless I had them moved.
However, time could. And so could human's life.
With the moonlight outside the blue window glass, I managed to find on the shift in the fridge there were a half-cup of cola, which was placed over there for too long to the steam be left. I picked up the cola before drinking it to the bottom. Then I came into my room.
I whispered: " I am back. "
I pulled out the keyboard, input the time, then pressed the start button.
The Time Travel Theory and Application Notes:
1 To the past Only .
2 Exact starting time and places are required if some object is supposed to transmitted to the past from the present.
3 It is not possible for object with life indication to be transmitted to the present from the past.
4 Whatever you had done in the past can never change the present.
Whatever you had done in the past can never change the present.
I came back to that year, that place, again. A blinding white light passing by, my feet fell down on the solid ground.
Steering clear of the bustling football field, I went straight through the side entrance to the players lounge.
"Sorry for distribution." I opened the door and entered in.
"That's my word, in fact." Taichi-san turned the angle of lips slightly up, with his hand holding a half-cup of cola, "For, well, you scarcely come to watch a game but only to find me here." His left leg has apparently been sprayed propane, even bandaged still.
Felt my gaze fixed on his left leg, he said in a riant tone: "It doesn't matter. The coach said that he will let me enter the field before injury time. Just wait for my score! " then added another sentence: "Our team is going to win the victory, and I will win the title of top scorer!"
He could never win that. When he came out of the clubhouse stepped onto the field, his head would be hit by a can fell down from the bleachers, while if I had push him away, in the last minute of injury time he would fall down in the penalty box, with his forehead hit the goalpost. He would be rushed to the hospital and stop breathing on the way. Even if I called the ambulance in advance, it would be nothing but the same. I had tried, I had tried all of them. Badly scars was still clearly visible on my wrist, which was actually caused by the can from the bleachers. Nevertheless, the telephone number of the nearest hospital was also kept in my mobile phone.
You can't change the past, no matter how hard you have been trying to.
While the reason I would have came to this place again and again, just because he once smiled and said to me:
"In my final hour, the one who is actually by my side is you, for which I'm really... glad."
For this sentence, no matter how many times, I will keep standing by his side until the last moment. Every time.
"Yagami, are you ready? All of us are counting on you! "
Chortling, Taichi-san rested down the half-cup cola from his hand, stood up and said to me: "See? The coach is urging on. Cheered for me. "
I stared at him for a long time without saying anything. Biting my lips slightly, I fastened a fist and beat his belly with it.
"Koushiro, you TRASHINESS! " Taichi-san cracked a grin when he held my fist, "Put forth more strength next time remenber. Watch your emaciated shape! ...Wait, what happened?" He then frowned when noticed the scare on my wrist.
"Nothing much. Nothing, really." I imminently withdraw my hand before he saw much clearly. "Good luck, Taichi-san."
He didn't ask for more, and chuckled to go outside, while I just looked up before heaving a sigh, then closed my eyes.
Yes, I was trashiness. I had invented the time machine, yet could not change the law. I was making the time travel again and again, however could be nothing but a passer-by.
Ah, the note I want to send to us in the future is
don't lie to ourselves...
Taichi-san was the captain, the adventurer, the holder of the badge of courage. While it came to me, I was just the "Doctor". More even specifically, I'm nothing. When he picked up and looked forward through that telescope, I was just kept my head down to focus on the keyboard and screen.
"Sorry for distribution, Mrs Yagami." I knocked at the door of Taichi-san's home, in my hands was the laptop, without which I had never been, on which has been beaten straight from Taichi-san's shoulder. From then on, the station had been too badly knocked on portable computer. Ever since the last time# I had become such a frequent visitor. I explained to them as this is in the prevention of new enemies, though I know that's not the essential reason.
"Here, Koushiro, the Oolong tea, your favourite." came over the mother of Taichi-san.
"Thank you for your hospitality. " I stood up to show my appreciate reverently. Adopted son as I was, I had got even better family education than the common contemporary. I was always appearing as a polite child, wearing the uniform and be strict in my own demands, with the tie worn and all buttons done up in front of anyone. Only except Taichi-san.
"Koushiro- Leave that bloody computer alone, come with me to finish this game! " said Taichi-san's voice behind me, "Come on, it's summer holiday now, relax!"
"Not like you, I'm so busy, with a lot of things to do! " I did not turned back, expressly emphasised the movement of my hand with pounding the keyboard, without my mind focused on the computer however.
"Things to do, things to do." Taichi-san murmured with dissatisfaction. "Then wouldn't it be better to do your things in your home? I can't see the necessity in coming to me designedly and do your things."
"Because...Because I'm afraid if something happens like last time and I will be unable to contact you." What a skillful lier I was. I had convinced myself to trust the lie made up by me.
"But...but you are too busy to enjoy your life! "
"They were so hasty, why don't they just relax, uncage themselves to enjoy their lives? " Then there once a time later, I pretended to look those absent-minded people, who are all in a hurry outside to leave, and asked Taichi-san casually. I just wanted to... looking for something to say, some topic could make our conversation continued.
"They are time off like a blind. "said Taichi-san, lying on his back. His brown hair were cut, head still being swathed by layers of bandage after operation, which had not been taken off yet. The day before the game, I had forced the doctor to give him a general inspection. They told me that there was something wrong during the laboratory, and needed to recount. Then they tested for the second time, after the third fact they were not wrong.
Taichi-san then looked at the passerby too: "They believe what they are doing now is very important for the future."
"...do they?"
Taichi-san shifted his sight on me for a moment. "Seems like that you're not pretty agree with this sentence."
Yes, I agree. What we do now can change the uncertain future, but merely cannot change the identified past. No exception for anything
"You used to be quite busy too, didn't you?" a bright, clear smile spreaded over Taichi-san's face. He gently spoke in his soft and mild tones, "People all think that they'll be very important as if behave in a busy way. "
So was I. I once thought that whether I would gain a more important place in Taichi-san's heart, if I acted as I was busy with a lot of things to do.
"Really tough to await examination results coming out... My footwork will really become unskilled if I don't go back to training..." Taichi-san groaned. He hadn't known yet, and nor did I want him to know.
Shrill whistle ringing outside the door, I sprang up in no time and rushed out. Central of the field had been surrounded by a group of people, medical workers on the ringside picked up the stretcher and now were running to them.
How many times already had I stared at such scene, included this one? This scene. I reached my hand into pocket without a word, pressing the dialing button on my mobile phone.
Coming out of the hospital for another time, I was walking at a loss in the street.
"Excuse me, sir... sir? " I finally came to myself after someone calling me for several times. I turned to find a kind passerby, on whose face there were a little worry. Realising that how weird it was for a man in Western dress and leather shoes standing on the street (in whose hand even a half-cup of cola), I gave him a grateful smile back.
So much effort had I done, struggling desperately between the present and the past. Why must I invent this time machine? Just for coming back to the past again and again, and then helplessly watched Taichi-san dying again, and again?
But I would rather come back to try again, and again, but not to return to the future, where without Taichi-san.
Too tired...
"Enjoy enjoy, the only thing in your mind is ENJOY! " I rebuked with pout. "We're still taking the responsibility of defending both the digital world and the real world, okay? "
"We all know that our Koushiro is the best! " Taichi-san smirked a trifle, said a sudden outburst. "But then again, you're really miraculously awesome, to even come up with the way to break out. "
I was quite flattered furtively, while insistently said:"I do not count. It were Taichi-san and Yamato-san that had fought it back."
Suddenly, Taichi-san came over to put his hand on my back. He's getting so close that I got asphyxia for a moment:"Koushiro.. "
"Y-yes, Taichi-san? "
"Would You do me a favour to write a cheat program of this game? That BOSS in Sixth passvery is really tough to... "
No, not what I was excepting in my mind. I was a little disappointed and straighten my face a little: "Don't goof off even in games! "
Later, I was just actually found out that, in fact, Taichi-san had already finished that game for more than three times. He just wanted to... look for something to say, some topic could make our conversation continued.
But I hadn't known yet at that time. Instead, I just turned off the laptop before saying to him: "I'm coming home now." I saw Taichi-san standing over there somehow in a daze, as if he had something to say. And how should I didn't even stop to wait for him to speak it out.
Since then, such a chance had never came again. Because on the very next day, Taichi-san was summoned to summer training.
Sometimes I was pondering, whether it would have been different if I were even a little more honest at that time.
Drowning in sad, even after hundred times
the only thing I still want is just to be alive
Infrequent memory, like laughter and tears
please don't forget ...
Taichi-san smiled quietly. Even the same when he was as on the substitute bench. So impressing his soccer skill was, thus making him always become the focus for rivals to beware of close in mêlée. Slide tackles, ring of encirclement or even flagrant foul such are all nothing new for him. Because of this, Taichi-san often had to be replaced midway through the game.
"Aren't you afraid of death or something? Welcome the danger? You should have learnt to protect yourself, Taichi-san, you know, form being harmed or broking the legs!" I couldn't remember how many times had I hurriedly rushed him to roar like this.
"But... the goal is just in front of me!" Taichi-san cocked his head as studying me, as if I had just said something too rediculous to believe.
"Well... but that's not worthwhile! " I tried to presume him with my incredible patience.
"Koushiro, " Taichi-san smiled helplessly, "I am a striker, you know that. "
Then, I couldn't let one more word out after that.
But, finally, he once smiled and said: "This time... indeed, I really can't get myself injured."
He was referring to the upcoming U17 selection. One is eligible to become the representative of the Tokyo area.
"It will be very nice If you can become one of the youth representative." He is rising a barbel with great care simultaneously. The selection coming soon, everything should be careful.
"The game is on nine a.m. tomorrow, remember not to be late! "
I was really unwilling to submit his words in such a tone whenever I thought about it: Well, am I just like such a kid, ugh?
I came back home to find there was no occurred to me that my step-parents were on their journey these two days. I wound the alarm clock to wake me up on seven a.m. tomorrow.. And then unexpectedly came a dizzy to my head.
What's happening to me? Touching my forehead, I felt a bit hotter than usual. I realized that I had a fever.
"Hello? This is Izumi. Could you get me some medicine now? I seem to have fever..." I was a little unclear at that time when called the family physician up by the shortcut key, then collapsed on the sofa.
I do not know how long after when I felt very comfortable on my forehead. Something cold was covering my forehead. I drowsily opened my eyes, only to see a familiar face with the moonlight outside the blue window glass.
"Taichi...san...?! " Finding myself lying on the bed but not the sofa, I intended to sit up in astonishment, but no sooner being push down again: "Still hot. You've not been brought down the fever, then don't move! "
"Yes you're right, I am. But、but what time is it now? " Have an excruciating pain in my head, I had to close my eyes. I...had the wrong number.
"Three in the morning. You conked for so long, so I've taken a nap over there. "saying that casually, Taichi gently put another wet towel on my forehead to replaced the former.
"9 a.m. ... the game... " Such things suddenly flooded in my blank mind.
"Just go back to sleep, I won't be late." deep voice from Taichi-san was just like a paternoster, which sent me to the dream in no time.
When I woke up, the game was almost over. I struggled to sit up and turn on the television, only to see Taichi-san rushing with ball controled by his foot in the forbidden area. He turned two defenders off. Then the goalkeeper before him dashed out for interception. Hesitated for a moment, Taichi-san chose not to kick but jumped up, finally avoiding another smashing collision .
The game end up with a draw of 1:1. Tokyo Representative team failed to break through the tight encirclement; Taichi-san, who only scored a goal, was not to be able wear the uniform of U17. The reason was his being half an hour that morning.
However, we knew that later who replaced Taichi-san to join the U17 was exactly the son of Youth Representative team's coach. Being late in that morning was nothing but just an excuse.
"Sorry, Taichi-san. If it were not because of me..." I couldn't resist my tears effusing out of the bitterly sorrow.
"Not your fault, Koushiro. "Taichi-san touched my head to comfort me, "Though I'm not able to join the U17, there will still be the as well as the U21. See? Take it easy." Both of us were very clear about the fact that most of the players who can enter the U19 with the U21 were from U17.
"Taichi-san, if, what if there's another chance again, will... will the result be different?"
"Not...that likely. My performance, I think, could not have been better. Of course, however, if that shot... I could have made it..." After a little while thought, Taichi-san smiled and shook his head, "I don't really mind. "
But I exactly heard the deep sighs under his breath: "I just felt being unfairly. I am not worse than anyone... It was really... It was really not my fault. " quietly said he, supposing I would never hear.
Taichi was really intelligent. He had already known the past couldn't be changed at that time, which took me however one hundreds time travels to understand.
So, the day when Taichi-san became a member of J league, I did weep for nothing but excitment.
At that time, I was already an engineer engaged by Shinohara Heavy Industries, was too busy to go to watch his match for even once a season.
"Hey, Koushiro, are your work schedule really being full already? Don't cheat me again then to have some such social intercoursesurreptitiously! " Taichi-san teased me on the phone. He had made fun on my shady shit for many times, that last time I had participated in a kind of cocktail party unwittingly, which had been originally known by me as a seminar.
"I know, the match on tomorrow will be the last round, won't it? I will be there to watch your score! " I made my mind to ask my boss for a day off, "And it's the last round before you make the unbeaten record, right? "
"You bet!" Taichi-san's voice now was filled with the confident authentic, "And I am now ahead of the second by three goals in A top scorers list ! "
Even in rainy days, behind the cloud
will be the sun
"We won ... However, the meriterious of our team was not me." Lying in bed, Taichi-san was smiling, then added. "That's fine, anyway, I will personally take the trophy home next season . "
"Well... then Fight on! " No more such as the next season, No.
My trace had all been recorded in the flowing ripple, without consequences nor responsibility.
Ah, man. Everything you have done can influence in the future. But no matter what I did, I can't, I just can't.
Alas, have a look at the world in the future
Whoever of us will trust each other.
the world in the future is the same
Even if any of the change being made .
this mood would still be held
"Wait, are you kidding? The traffic jam?! " In a little vexed tone, Taichi-san spoke on the other end of the phone. "Hey, the game is to begin in an hour! "
"Can I do anything help it, Taichi-san? As what the driver has said that it will take another two hours to get the stadium! " I reached out my head out of the window, watching the heavy traffic on the street, then sighed.
"Anyway, there's also a radio in the car , you can listen to it as well. The coach is calling me. Then that's it."Taichi of a snapped to hang up the phone.
"..." I knew that Taichi-san was agitated, but I didn't know that what had annoyed him was absolutely that.
"Sorry I'm late, so are you in the lounge, Taichi-san?" In such a noisy, I rushed into the stadium out of breath, trying to get the voice sent through my mobile phone.
"I've told the guard to let you in, they won't stop you."
"Excuse me." I opened the door and went in.
"You finally be here now. " Taichi of a laugh, hands holding a cup of cola, "You rarely see a game, actually I am here. "His left leg has apparently been sprayed propane, and even bandaged.
"...Much pain? " Taichi-san got injured again, which however seemed not to bother him at all.
"That 's all right. " Taichi-san still said to me with a changeless smile, "The coach had assured me before you will let me take the field before injury time. You just wait for my score! " He added: "Our team is going to get an undefeated record then win the champion, while I will get the title of top scorer ! "
It reminded me of that qualifier for the U17. A score in the last-minute?
"Koushiro - "Taichi-san waved his hand in front of me."Take it easy! This is not a U17 qualifier, but one of the matches in J union occupation league! I'm going to ripping goal once again for you, and surly promise not to be hurt! "
What I had been always thinking about is actually all noticed by Taichi-san. No, he must have known that thousands for ages, for hundreds of times.
"Yagami, are you ready? All of us are now counting on you! "
Taichi-san chuckled before puting a half-cup of cola, stood up and said to me: "See? The coach is urging me. Cheered for me. "
On the next second,he unexpectantly said these fairly ominous words: "Please always cheer me up... ever in future! "
I became frozen for a moment before keeping up with him to get out of the door, and then my eyes was blinded by the dazzling white light. Entering my ears was that shrill whistle, which I would never forget as long as I'm still in this world.
Taichi-san, if, what if there's another chance again, will... will the result be different?
...
"Will it?" Taichi-san gave me a surprised look as respond, sitting in the bed while paring an apple..
"Answer my question, please! " I broke out anxiously. If his answer is yes, at any expense would I try to come back unceasingly. At that time, I was so childish that refused to believe the rules of time travel is irresistible, and unchangeable as well.
"What's for... to have another chance again? " Taichi-san seemed to focus all his attention on the apple in hands, thought for another a moment and then said, "Koushiro, wouldn't it be much better replace the 'again' by the 'next time' ? "
But he would never be given the next time. The results of the examination was now just being grabbed in my sweaty hand. Doctors had found out that in his brain there was an early tumor, while the lesion was in an extremely dangerous place. In this way, the chance of a successful operation cannot be even little slimmer.
"Alas - " An apple core falling into the trash on the corner, Taichi-san laid down with both his hands folded behind. "I can hardly wait, for both tomorrow's operation and the next new season! "
And so as the world of the future, I really want to have a look what it looks like.
"By the way, Koushiro." Taichi-san said frowning. "This walkman needs batteries to work. Could you do me a favour? The doctor said I can listen to it tomorrow during the operation."
"Humh?! Fine... I'll buy for you now." After an absence written in water, I ran out in a hurry.
...
"Sold out?" I asked in the nearest 7-11, somehow being fairly inquiet.
"I'm so sorry about that, but that kind of battery you want will be sent here till tomorrow morning " An apologetic smile was on assistant's face.
...
Sometimes I persuaded myself falsely to think, that the changes I had done in the time of past would finally creat a brand new future, although I was more clear than anyone that it was not the truth. As time went by I came back to the diurnal now once more. All change by the time come to nothing, just like the blackboard, which was cleaned after every class.
"In my final hour, it's you who to accompany me, for which I'm really... glad." smiling gently, Taichi-san hold my hand tenderly, then closed his eyes.
"Relics have been all sorted and counted here. Is everything right? "
"Yes... " Slowly, I pull out a pen. In My pocket, were also lying the batteries I bought yesterday, after being detoured for so long out.
Koushiro, the sadness in your eyes and facial expressions, I have already received. Therefore, I have looked for an excuse to keep you away. While you are hurrying on your journey, I'm leaving this message to you.
I don't feel much pain, really. Just like falling down from a cliff slowly, do you know that?
Our team won the championship, I was just close to become top scorer, so, I think fate has treated me mercifully enough. I really have nothing to complain of. And, say, I wake up in the morning, you still keep here, and I'm still here. So I thank the mercy of the time, thanks to it so that I can wake up to find you here.
I know you have not set yourself free since the U17 qualifiers, and so was I, until not long ago. I'm sorry that I haven't comfort you well. We have always been convinced that what we are doing now is quite important for the future, so, when I answered your question, give up "again" but chose the "next time".
You asked me if I wanted something else. At that time, I didn't reply immediately. Things I want is the time, which is impossible for you to offer me.
I live in the borrowed time, maybe both of us are the same. But I know when and where my debt will expire.
In my final hour, the one who is actually by my side is you, for which I'm really... glad, like in the adventure of that summer, like in my life ever before .
Koushiro, I really want to have a look at the future world, which you will be in there.
I stared at the burning flame before me. All of Taichi-san's artifacts were to be burnt down to the ashes. I reached my hand into pocket, slowly put the battery and cast it into the fire, which I bought that day after being detoured for so long out.
Those stuffs in the firelight gave a clear sound, they soon will be devoured. Even if they had been burned up for so many times, I still had an excruciating pain in my chest,which is the same as being burnt by the fire. How could it be like this?
"Dr. Izumi, wait a minute please! "
I turned around slowly to see a young man, who I seemed to have met before.
"This is Miyazawa. I had the pleasure of having met you before once in a technical seminar! "
The noise from the field next to me seemed to come from another world. I didn't even give him a surprised expression: "What's the matter?"
"Do you believe in the time travel?"
His eyes did not even rest on my face, still going on in the best of spirits: "I've written an article on how to get the energy a time travel needs. I think you are the one who would probably accept such a theory..."
For the first time I came back to the past, when I heard the shrill whistle once again, I really wanted to bring something back as a memorial.
Then, what to bring back? I looked around, watching through the half-open door of lounge , there is a half-cup of cola being left there. The bubbles boiling in the cup seemed to serve as the prove of Taichi's immediate coming back.
Time travel, which not exactly means the eternal, however it is the best thing second only to the eternal.
There will be one day I have to stop to face my fate. But now, I live in the past. I impenetrably thought this kind of life was pretty good. You would gradually accustom yourselves to find that, whatever you do would have no influence on the world. It will give you a sense of freedom. I have a long time to be with Taichi together, in spite of I can't be with him forever.
But there are also compensation. Whenever I go back, everything wouldn't be changed, except of my memory. I was still in the same appearance, still in the same suit, cola left at my labial angles were still harsh to taste. Every time I came back, I'll spend a short period of my life. Sooner or later, I would never want to come back again.
However, for Taichi-san, he will never dead. I wouldn't let him dead. Every day he died, I pulled out a pen to sign, I would come back, back to the roaring football field. At that time, the game was not over while Taichi-san hadn't entered the field. We would meet in the lounge. Neither did he know about his destiny to dead nor recognise me as a passing traveller, who had made the time travel for so many times. But it doesn't matter. We have a lot of time.
Whenever it comes to be the night,
the moonlight will always shine on us...
"Koushiro..." Fiddling with his walkman, Taichi-san asked me with a casual air.
"What? " I'm lying on my back, pay no heed to ask, "What do you want? "
"I... " Time. I want time, a lot of time.
End
(# referring to the Digimon Adventure movie Our War Game)