CONFESSIONS
by: greenpurple
A/N. This is just a stupid idea that came out from my mind when I was alone and I was hurt and confused. I decided to make a letter and pour all my emotions into it. Feel free to read...
Dear Natsume,
I was very happy way back when we were still friends. We had each other, even though you were the conceited jerk and you always tease me, but still we became close in a way that everyone seems to be confused. We were so careless then, we don't mind on the things we do. And we seem to be an unbreakable pair, because wherever you go, I surely follow you. That makes me your tail huh? Hey you also follow me when I have dates with random guys and they would end up burning their hair, well thanks to you. Hehehe.. Even though we always fight just like dogs and cat but I still like it and somehow I got used to those petty fights we had. And even if how many times you teased me, we would still be friends in the end of the day, because I think it's your own way of annoying me so that you'll get noticed.
I could never forget that night when we just talked about our lives without any trace of hesitation in telling the truth. We were on our Sakura tree that night and we watched the stars as they shine in the sky, the wind was cold but never did I feel anything because you shared your jacket with me and your presence gives warmth in my soul. It was such a nice feeling that I had you in my side that night because it was the death anniversary of my parents.
I could still remember when we both have spree time, we used to watch movie together in my room and do you still remember the time when you let me lay down beside you and lend your arm to be my pillow? I felt so safe and secured; you can't blame me for hugging you that time it's because I was just so scared of the movie. It was your fault anyway because you insisted on watching a horror movie instead of a Disney movie. You said it was just too childish.
Do you still remember when you woke up each morning you knocked into my door just to check if I'm awake or not, so that I won't be late for school and Jinno-sensei would not put me into detention. I missed the times when you tutor me in Math and you would say that I'm really an idiot for not answering those stupid equations Mr. Jinno gave us. Good thing I have learned something from you, now even though you weren't around I could make my assignments on my own already.
When I'm about to cry, you made me laugh to stop the tears from falling or rather insult me so that I will get angry instead of making myself lonely. Still remember when I cried because Sumire pick a fight with me, she said I was a bitch and a slut because I always hang out with you, she's just jealous with me. After hearing her foul words I ran into the Sakura tree and cried while hugging my knees. You followed me, but instead of hearing comforting words or handing me a handkerchief, you just said "Stop crying Polka, it makes you uglier." That is how you comfort me Hyuuga, but then since it almost happened every time I got used with it already even though you were rude and sarcastic.
When I had problems you were there even though you are not saying anything, you're mere presence was more than enough. During those dark nights when thunder is wildly roaring into the night sky you let me sleep into your room because you know I can't have a good night sleep. You were so kind even though you were teasing me that it's only my excuse so that I could sleep with you. But I didn't mind your words at all because I'm so scared.
You still remember every time we go to Central Town, we always ended on being chased by your "lovely" squealing fan girls, and to escape away from them we ran into our Sakura tree and stay there until they would be gone.
Since that Luna Koizumi stepped into the scene, everything was gone and thrown away Natsume. You already stayed away without even telling me the real reason. Yeah, she is your "fiancée" but at least I need some explanation being your best friend, but you just keep your mouth shout all through this time.
You told me that I'm the one who could make you laugh but then why did you choose to stay away from me? Is it because of that Luna girl? I thought we will be best friends forever, but then why did you just break the promise we made to each other? Don't you know that I'm hurting whenever you're with her? I don't know how I managed to feel this way. I am getting jealous with her? I hope I'm not and do you know what hurts me most, it is when all the little things we used to do are slowly fading out. You barely seem to notice me at school and you even dared to transfer seat so that I won't be sitting right next to you.
Why have you forsaken our friendship Natsume? I need answers because my small brain does not know how to think properly already because of the things that are happening between us. All I am asking is that you need to tell me the truth and don't hide anything from me. You know I will understand you in all the way that I can. I just want to let you know that I care for you a lot and I really treasure you that is why I can't afford to lose the friendship that we once had.
Err, I hate to say this but right now I'm also confused with myself, if it is still friendship that I feel or is this Love already?
But whatever it is, I guess it's no worth at all. It seems that you are happy with Luna now and there is no way that I would bother about your happiness. Who am I by the way in your life? I'm nobody right Natsume?
Well, I just hope that after reading this I had made myself clear already to you and it's up to you if you would make it up to me or not.
Always,
Mikan
So how was it?
Don't forget to leave a review it would be appreciated.
Watch out for a sequel to this one..
Love lots,
~shya