Never Too Late
Heather's POV
After 15 long hours of labor, I was finally able to meet my bundle of joy… Elijah. He's just perfect and I couldn't be happier. It had been interesting adjusting to this tiny human growing inside of me. Not only that, but not being constantly surrounded by my Glee family – specifically Naya – was just plain weird. I was so ecstatic when Naya came to visit me in the hospital and I got to introduce her to my little man.
"Oh my God, HeMo… he's so adorable," Naya exclaims. "He has your eyes… I think I might be in love!"
"Naya! I'm gonna tell Sean!" I jokingly say to her.
"What he don't know, won't hurt him," she responds back with a wink. "I need to take a pic with him… #futureheartbreaker!"
I missed being around Naya so much. Not seeing my best friend every day and not being able to really dance or act for the past several months has sucked royally. Plus, she's been super busy promoting her first single – which I got a shout out in, woot woot – and doing interviews here and there. I'm so proud of her for chasing her dreams. I've always known that she was a phenomenal actress and singer, but to see her being able to step out on her own and show the world a more intimate piece of herself instead of her alter ego is a beautiful thing to witness.
Although her visit with me was brief, I fairly enjoyed her gift for Elijah. She had this black and gray Raiders onesie made with "Morris" written across the shoulders and "#1 Mom" written on the back. Naya said that she was going to put "Rivera" on it with her brother's jersey number, but then people might think that Elijah was her baby as well. Can you imagine the explosion of Brittana and Heya tweets that would cause?! I don't Taylor cared too much for her comment, but he tried his best to play it off. Naya and I, on the other hand, had a good laugh about it. Anyways, it was super sweet of her to go out of her way to make a personalized gift for Elijah, but that's just the type of person she is.
After I was released from the hospital, I settle back in nicely at home. Taylor was amazing, waking up in the middle of the night to tend to Elijah so that I could finally sleep. He's the perfect dad… cleaning him, changing him, and putting him down for a nap. Hell, if I could give him my boobs to feed Elijah, I could just sit back and watch the show. It doesn't surprise me though, how good of a father that Taylor is.
I always knew that Taylor would be amazing at it, which is part of the reason why I was looking forward to starting a family with him one day. Now that we have the baby part down, I'm not sure if the marriage part will soon follow. It has always been a dream of mine to marry him someday, but it is a little odd that after being together for 10 years, – and having a baby – it still hasn't happened yet. I try not to fret on the situation because I have this new, incredible addition to my life now.
But… I can't help but wonder sometimes.
A few days later, Naya came over to the house to visit me and Elijah. It was nice to see her interaction with him, especially since I asked her to be his Godmother. I wasn't sure what her reaction would be, taking on such a huge responsibility. But like always, Naya never ceases to amaze, gracefully accepting that pivotal role in Elijah's life.
"I'm really glad that you asked me," Naya says sincerely. "Honestly, I thought that you would've asked Ashley or one of your sisters."
"I thought about it, but at the end of the day… I wanted you," I simply reply. "I don't know… maybe it was just a reassurance to know that you'll always be a part of my life, no matter what ends up happening…"
"Heather, I'm always gonna be a part of your life. Why would you ever doubt that?" she questions.
"Well… you're becoming an even bigger star now, you've got a hot rapper boyfriend, and I'm not sure what my role on Glee will be like now that I have Elijah," I respond. "I just… I just don't want to lose you."
"Heather…" she says, grabbing ahold of my hand, "baby or not, I'm always going to be a part of your life. You're my best friend, which means… you're stuck with me."
I don't know how she does it, but Naya has always had a way of making me feel better. Like when I was concerned that my singing ability wasn't up to par for the caliber of singer/actors on the show. Naya told me how great I was and even helped me do some vocal exercises. She made me feel less afraid because she truly believed in me. Or when we became series regulars on the show, which made our work days a lot longer. That really put a strain on me and Taylor's relationship, in addition to the thousands of miles that already separated us. When I felt doubt about our relationship and whether or not we would be strong enough to last, Naya was there as my own personal cheerleader, talking sense into me and telling me that me and Tay could make it through anything if we loved each other and wanted it bad enough.
Naya has always had my back through everything since the day I met her. I've had my share of good friends in the past that still remain in my life today, but I've never had a friend like Naya. For me to even think that she wouldn't always be a part of my life was a crazy thought. I guess with all of these heightened hormones from the pregnancy, I got a little scared and over dramatic.
"You're right… I don't know why I ever thought that," I finally reply. "You're stuck with me too!"
"I wouldn't have it any other way," she simply replies.
"Hey, would you mind watching him while I get his lunch ready?" I ask her.
"Wait… does that mean you're about to whip out your boobs?" Naya questions. "Heath, I know we're besties, but we gotta have some type of boundaries…"
"You're an A-S-S," I respond to Naya's sarcastic quip.
"I know, but you love me anyways," she says with a big grin on her face.
I shake my head at her while I exit the nursery to get Elijah's lunch.
Taylor's POV
When I arrived home, I noticed that there was another car in the driveway. Seeing that we don't get too many visitors around here, I knew it could be only 1 of 2 people. Since I knew that Ashley was currently in Vancouver working on her next project, that only left one person… Naya.
I've never had a problem with Naya. If anything, I was very thankful that Heather had found such a good friend in her, especially during the time when we were so far away from each other. I know there has always been buzz about the 2 of them being a real-life Brittana, but Heather assured me that was just cute and crazy fan talk. I never paid much attention to it before, but recently, it has been plaguing my mind quite a bit.
"Hey sweetie, how was work?" Heather greets me as I walk into the kitchen.
"It was fine," I respond, giving her a peck on her forehead. "Is Naya here?"
"Yeah, she's watching Elijah for me."
"Oh, okay… well I'm gonna go change and relax a bit," I state as I make my way down the hall towards our bedroom.
"Ya know, Eli… you've got a pretty nice set up here," I hear Naya say. "You've got a great dad, you've got a large extended family that can't wait to meet you, and most importantly… you've got the best mommy in the whole wide world."
As I peek my head around the corner, I see Naya holding Elijah in the rocking chair, slowly moving back and forth.
"I mean it kiddo, you got a really good one," she continues, still unaware of my presence. "She's smart and funny and has the biggest heart. She is my very best friend and I would do absolutely anything for her. Don't tell her I told you that though… she might get a big head."
I feel bad for eavesdropping, but I couldn't help it. Maybe I was hoping that if I stood here long enough, Naya would reveal some big secret that would make everything I've been feeling lately make sense. Instead, I decided to stop being such a creeper and greet the woman holding my child.
"Hey… how's my little guy doing?"
"Oh, hey Taylor! He's doing just fine. How bout you?" Naya greets me.
"I'm not too shabby. And you?" I politely respond.
"I'm good… just spending some quality time with my Godson," she replies. "Did you want to hold him?"
"Naw, you're good," I state. "So… when do you think you'll be having one of these?"
"Me? I don't know… probably not anytime soon."
"Oh yeah, how come? I thought things were going pretty well with that Sean guy," I question.
"Uh… things are fine between us," she starts off, "we're just not at that place. Our relationship is still fairly new and years away from even thinking about babies."
"Oh, okay… that makes sense," I reply.
"What about you guys… are there wedding bells in the near future?" Naya asks, catching me off guard.
"Umm… we'll see. Just taking it one day at a time, especially with this little guy here now," I lamely respond.
"Sure… I guess that makes sense," Naya states, echoing my earlier words.
Before things get even more awkward, Heather magically appears at the door and saves me from further questioning.
"Hey guys, lunch is ready," Heather states.
"Actually, I think I'm gonna go lay down for a little bit," I casually state, "you girls have fun."
And with that, I escape to my room, left alone with only my thoughts.
A couple of days later, I still couldn't shake this weird feeling that I was having. My mind kept drifting back to the brief conversation that I had with Naya. When she asked me about the wedding stuff, I kind of froze. It's not that I don't want to marry Heather someday; trust me… I've wanted to marry her since we were in high school, but that would've just been crazy at the time, given our age. The next logical time that I thought about popping the question is after I moved here to LA and we were living together. I've thought so many times about doing it, but something always stopped me. For the longest time, I couldn't figure it out, but now… I think I finally have my answer.
As Heather, Elijah, and I watched the new episode of Glee, I couldn't help but notice Heather's body language. Every time there was a scene between Santana and Dani, I could see her visibly tense up, especially when they shared that small peck.
"So, what do you think about Santana's new love interest," I questioned.
"Huh?" Heather responds, totally unaware of what I just said. She almost looked like she was in a different world.
"I was wondering what you thought about Santana's new girlfriend," I purposely re-phrased my question.
"Oh… she seems like a good fit for Naya, I mean Santana," she quickly corrects herself. "I've met Demi a couple of times before and she seems like a cool person."
"It sounds like Brittana is over…" I state nonchalantly, not really expecting a response.
"Yeah, I guess so…" Heather replies sadly. "I think someone needs a diaper change."
With that, Heather quickly stands up from the couch and takes Elijah to his room. I can't help but feel like she was jealous of Naya's new on-screen relationship. Even I know it's just acting, although it took some getting used to at first, seeing your girlfriend kiss other people on TV on a regular basis. I eventually came to terms with it, but Naya and Heather aren't even a couple so it would make no sense for her to be jealous. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things. I guess that's possible since I haven't gotten a lot of sleep since the baby was born.
But… what if I'm not?
Either way, this feeling has been plaguing my mind for quite some time. It's time that I figure it out.
Heather's POV
A week later…
The day had finally come… October 10th; the day The Quarterback episode would air.
I wish I could've been there to support my fellow Glee family, but I was on strict bed rest towards the end of my pregnancy, which just so happened to be the same time when the cast filmed this episode. I did manage to sneak on set during the first week of filming, but shh… don't tell Taylor. He doesn't know about that and would probably be very upset if he did. I already got playfully scolded by Naya and some of the other cast members. I know they were just looking out for me and didn't want to put any additional stress on my body with the high amount of emotions that filming this episode would bring. I was thankful for that, but I just had to come to set at least for one day to pay my respects to Cory.
Although we hadn't done it in quite some time, the cast decided to get together and have a viewing party to celebrate Cory's life. Unexpectantly, Lea said that she would host the party. She said that nothing would make her happier than to be surrounded by her Glee family during this very emotional episode. I thought for sure that Lea would've wanted to be alone tonight or just be surrounded by her real family, but to do the complete opposite is just a true testament to her strength and resilience.
As the show finally aired, tears never stopped flowing from everyone's eyes. I can't imagine how my fellow friends and co-workers were able to even shoot this episode. As we all huddled around Lea and watched the rest of the show in silence, I grabbed ahold of Naya's hand and didn't let go until it was time to leave. I was so amazed by everyone's performance during the episode, especially Matt's scene at the very end, but like always… Naya blew me away. The raw emotion and intensity of her scenes just made me cry that much harder.
As the show ended and everyone tried their best to gather themselves, we all went around the room and shared our favorite memory with Cory. I remember when I first started the show, I was talking to Cory about just how stupid our characters were supposed to be. With the straightest face possible, Cory looked me in the eye and said "oh, that's not acting… I really am that dumb". Seeing that I hadn't known Cory for that long at that point in time, I wasn't sure how to respond or if he was even being serious or not. Once I saw the slightest tug of his lips forming a smirk, I knew that from that day forward, Cory and I would be great friends. I miss him dearly, but I know no one misses him more than Lea.
We all wanted to stay at Lea's that night, but she insisted that she would be okay and that we should all go home and get a good night's rest instead of waking up with a crick in our necks from sleeping on the floor. And so, we reluctantly left after telling Lea that we loved her. At least for our sake, Lea did allow one person to stay the night… Dianna.
When I got home, all I wanted to do was hold Elijah. When I got to his room, he was already sound asleep. I wanted to be selfish and just wake him up and fall asleep with him in my arms, but apparently it's never a good idea to wake a sleeping baby. Who makes these rules anyways? So instead, I opted to sit in the rocking chair next to his crib until sleep eventually took me. I don't know how long I had been out for, but the sudden sound of Elijah crying woke me up.
"Hey lil' man, why so blue?" I say as I get up from the rocking chair and pick up my baby boy. "Ya hungry buddy?"
Of course he doesn't respond cuz he's a baby and he can't talk, but I figured it was that or someone needed a diaper change. As I sniff towards my little boy's underpants, I realize that maybe it's both. I quickly place Elijah on the changing table and rid him of his extremely soiled diaper. Boy, I can't wait for the day when he can wipe his own ass. But, I digress. Once he's all cleaned up, I dispose of his diaper and wash my hands. I then pick Elijah up and make my way towards the door so that we can go to the kitchen to get him bottle.
Before I make it out of the nursery, I notice something on the ground next to the rocking chair. As I bend down to pick the object up, I notice that it's Elijah's favorite teddy bear, dressed in the onesie that Naya had made for him. When I originally put the onesie on Elijah, I noticed that it was a tad too big for him. For the time being until he grew into it, I decided to dress up his favorite teddy bear in it. For the life of me, I don't remember at what point during the night when I stole the teddy bear away from my son, but apparently I did. He was sleeping anyways, so I'm sure he didn't miss it (or at least that's how I'm gonna justify my actions). Maybe subconsciously since I couldn't hold Elijah last night to help me sleep, I settled for the next best thing.
Yeah… that sounds plausible.
After Elijah and I ate lunch, I got an unexpected visit from Lea.
"Oh my God, HeMo… he's just as cute as can be!" Lea exclaims, picking him up. "I just might steal him!"
"Alrighty, Miss Michelle… perhaps it's time for you to leave," I respond jokingly. "So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?"
"Well, for one… I wanted to meet the first official Glee baby since apparently I'm the last one," she begins, "and two… I wanted to thank you for coming over last night."
"Of course! You don't have to thank me though, silly goose."
"No, I do… I know you've got a lot going on right now with the baby, but I really did appreciate you taking the time out to come over and help celebrate Cory's life."
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," I reply sincerely, bringing Lea into tight embrace. "How've you been holding up?"
"Some days are worse than others, but I'm getting there," she starts off. "It's still hard sometimes… waking up, knowing that he won't be next to me. I just hate that I wasted so much time…"
"What do you mean?" I ask, cautiously. I didn't want to force Lea to talk about Cory or how much she missed him, but I did want to make sure she was okay… or at least as okay as someone could be in her position.
"After Cory and I had been dating for a few months, he admitted that he fell for me the first day we met," Lea explains. "He never said anything though because I was with Theo."
"What about after you guys broke up? You and Cory didn't start dating for a while after that."
"Yeah… that's only cuz I made the first move," Lea states, chuckling to herself. It was good to hear her laugh again. "Cory said that even after I became single, he still waited because he didn't want to put any pressure on me like every other guy that was just trying to get into my pants, especially if I didn't have those types of feelings for him. Once I finally confronted him on it, he kissed me… and the rest is history," she continued. "Cory was always so sweet and considerate of my feelings. I just wished I realized sooner how important he was back then and how madly in love I would be now."
"He was definitely one of a kind," I state honestly, wiping an unruly tear from eye before it fell.
"Yeah, definitely…" she replied sadly.
After a few moments of silence had passed, I excused myself from the living room to put Elijah down for his nap. Once I returned, the conversation between Lea and I continued.
"Sorry if I bummed you out earlier," Lea states.
"You didn't… it was nice to hear a part of your love story," I respond.
"Speaking of that… what about you?" Lea questions. Sensing my confusion, she continues. "Now that the little guy is here, are you and Taylor gonna be getting hitched anytime soon?"
"I, uhh…" I stutter out, not knowing how to respond. "Honestly, I don't know."
"What do you think the holdup is, if you don't mind me asking?" Lea asks hesitantly. "I mean, you guys are high school sweethearts, right…"
"I really don't know," I state again. "Things have been different between us for the past few years, especially since he moved here. I can't exactly explain it, but I know something's off. At first I figured it was because of the distance and that it would eventually get better once we were in the same place, but it really hasn't," I continue. "I haven't had much time to dwell on it lately tough since I got pregnant. And now that Elijah's here, my priorities kind of changed. I guess that's expected when you bring a new life into the world."
Wow… I had no idea that I felt this way. Well… I did, but this is the first time that I've actually been so candid and stated my feeling explicitly. Lea opens her mouth briefly as if she's going to respond, but then quickly closes it. She appears to be contemplating what she wants to say next.
"Just say it," I politely state, giving Lea permission to say whatever it is that's on her mind.
"It's just… I don't want to upset you," Lea states.
"It would upset me more if I know that you're hiding something from me," I respond.
"Touché Morris," she replies. "Well, I was just wondering… do you think Naya has anything to do with that?"
"You've lost me now," I state feeling slightly confused by her question.
"Well, it's just that… you and Nay have always been really close," she starts out.
"Yeah, so… we're best friends," I say, stating the obvious.
"Yes, I know that and so does everyone else… but you guys are different," Lea continues on. "You guys have a special friendship and a closeness that I've never seen before between 2 people who weren't dating. Anyone with eyes can see that… even Taylor."
"Wait, what are you saying Lee? You think Naya has feeling for me? Or that I have feelings for her?" I ask incredulously. I wasn't upset with Lea for asking these questions, but I just couldn't make sense of them.
"I don't know… maybe?" Lea responds carefully. "You said it yourself… your relationship with Taylor hasn't been the same in a while now. Do you think it's possible that maybe that was around the same time you started Glee… around the time you met Naya?"
I pause for a second to think about what Lea just said. As crazy as it sounds, maybe she's right.
"Look, maybe I'm just talking crazy and completely stepping over the line here…" Lea starts again, "but if I've learned anything from Cory's death... hiding your true feelings only hurts the people you care about the most."
"But… Naya has a boyfriend," I try to reason. "She's not gay… neither am I."
"It's not about gay or straight, Heather… you should know that better than anyone, given the character you portray on the show."
I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this seemingly new information that I've never really considered before. Do I have feelings for Naya? Is that the reason why I've just been content on being Taylor's girlfriend all of these years when we should've been married already?
"This is crazy Lea… me and Tay have a baby now; we're a family now," I finally respond.
"That's true… but answer me this," Lea begins to say. "You and Taylor have been together for what, 10 years now?" I nod. "You've always talked about getting married and starting a family one day, right?" I nod again. "Well, you have the family part down… so, what's he waiting for?"
Honestly, I didn't know how to answer her question. How could I when I didn't really have an answer for myself.
"Look, Heath… I'm not trying to confuse you or put ideas into your head," Lea continues, "I just want you to know that you have options. I don't want you settle for good enough when you could have great… extraordinary even."
Was I settling with Taylor? I mean, I love him and we've been together for practically ever. Did that mean that I was still in love with him though or just in love with the idea of what we used to be and how great of a father he is to our son.
"I loved Theo dearly and thought one day we would get married and spend the rest of our lives together," Lea pauses, slightly laughing at herself. "But being with Cory made me realize that what I felt for Theo isn't even half of what I fell for Cory, even though our time together was so brief. If he taught me anything, it's that life is too short to sit around and wonder. It's never too late to go after what you want…"
Everything that Lea was saying made sense, but I still didn't know what to do with all of this information. Shortly after our conversation, Lea went home and I was left alone with my thoughts until Elijah woke up or Taylor got home.
It's never too late…
A few hours later, Taylor finally returns home.
"Hey… where's Elijah," he says, not bothering to ask how I was or give me his routine kiss hello. Something seemed off about this whole situation… he seemed off.
"He's asleep. I already fed and bathe him before putting him down for the night," I respond. "I thought you got off at 5?"
"I did," he coldly responds. "I went out with the guys for a couple of drinks."
"Okay…" I draw out, "well, it's almost 9 now… you think you could've at least given me a heads up?"
"My bad…" he simply states with no emotion.
This is completely uncharacteristic of Taylor. I've never seen him be so withdrawn or appear so careless about his actions. It was making me angry, which was just weird cuz I don't think I've ever been angry at him before. I felt like I was talking to a complete stranger.
"My bad… seriously, that's all you have to say?!" I ask incredulously. "I've been at home all day taking care of our baby and you don't even have the decency to let me know that you'll be home late?!"
I think this is the first time I have ever raised my voice to him. I didn't too loudly though cuz the baby was still sleeping after all. Although, if I did… I think I would've been totally justified.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't call… okay?" Taylor says, sounding exhausted.
"No, it's not okay. What's going on with you?"
"Nothing, okay? Just drop it Heather," he responds.
"No, I'm not just gonna drop it," I say. "There is something obviously wrong here so we need to figure this out."
Taylor doesn't say anything. He looks around the house, at the walls, the ceiling, the floor… he looks everywhere except for at me.
"Look, if I did something to upset you then let me know so that I can fix it," I continue. "If you're mad at me, then take it out on me. Don't avoid coming home all day and make your son suffer and not be able to spend any time with his dad."
Taylor takes a deep breath and then finally looks at me. I can tell that there is pain behind his eyes, but I'm not sure of the cause. We used to know everything about each other and be able to just look at the other person to know what they were thinking. We haven't been like that in a while though. I'm not sure if we ever will be again.
"I'm sorry I didn't call," Taylor says remorsefully. "I'm not mad at you Heather… I'm mad at myself."
"W-what?" I question, not really knowing what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?"
"I didn't want to see the truth… I didn't want to believe it, but I just can't ignore it anymore," he responds.
"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."
"When you came home last night, I heard you. I waited up for you to come into our room so that we could fall asleep together, but you never did," Taylor states. "Eventually I fell asleep, but when my alarm woke me up for work… I was surprised that you still weren't in bed."
I knit my eyebrows together, trying to piece together what exactly Taylor was talking about. None of it made any sense though.
"When I finally got out of bed and made my way to Elijah's room, I saw you… cuddled up with his bear with your phone still grasped in your hand," Taylor continues. "I knew last night was gonna be tough for you so that's why I waited up, so I could hold you in my arms and be there to comfort you if you needed to cry. But you never came… instead, you spent the rest of the night spooning her stuffed animal and texting her until you felt peaceful enough to drift off to sleep."
I couldn't help but notice the emphasis he put on the word her. Of course I knew exactly which her he was referring to, but the timing was just weird. First Lea and now Taylor. If I didn't know any better, I would say there's a freaking conspiracy going on.
I can see why he would be upset though… instead of finding solace in him, I found it in Naya. When I got home last night, I was still pretty emotional about everything, but the last thing I wanted to do was go to our bedroom and be held by him. I know that sounds terrible, but I can't help the way I felt. If I had the option, I would've gladly fallen asleep in the security of her arms, but instead I had to settle for a stuffed animal that smelt like her.
"How long?"
"How long what?" I ask, not really sure what he was asking.
"How long have you been in love with her?"
Wait… what?
Before when Lea was talking about Naya, I was just considering the possibility of maybe having feelings for her. But love… that's a whole other ball game.
But what if it was true?
What if this feeling had always been there, but I never realized it? What if I just ignored it and stowed it away because it seemed like a ridiculous idea? I mean, I've been with Taylor all of this time so why would I even need to think of someone else – let alone Naya – in that sort of context? All of this is beginning to be a little too much and it's confusing the hell out of me.
"What are you even talking about?" I finally ask once I finish my inner monologue.
"C'mon Heather… you know exactly what I'm talking about," he replies.
"There's nothing going on between me and Naya, okay?" I state confidently.
I mean, it was the truth. Naya and I were just friends, nothing more. Sure there had always been speculation from the media and our friends since Glee first started, but nothing had ever happened between us. Even if we did have feelings for each other – not saying that we did or do, but if –, nothing would've ever happened because I was committed to Taylor. Besides, at the moment, she's with Sean so all this talk about me and her seems kinda pointless.
"Okay then, answer me this… how do you think our relationship has been these past few years?" Taylor asks. I wasn't sure if this was a trick question or if there was a right or wrong answer. I decided to just be honest.
"It's been different… and I don't know why," I state sincerely.
"For the longest time, I didn't know why either…" Taylor replies, "but I'm pretty sure I know why now."
I'm not sure how to respond to that so I just remain silent and let him continue.
"We use to be so awesome together. I knew the long-distance would put a certain strain on our relationship, but I never thought that things would still be this weird once I moved here," Taylor continues. "So then, I tried to work backwards and figure out what was the one thing that had changed. Once I figured that out, everything else started to make sense."
"So, what exactly are you saying here Tay?"
"We're not the same like we used to be…" he states. "I felt like you were slipping away from me. I actually thought you were gonna break up with me…"
I open my mouth to interject, but no words come out. Taylor was always very intuitive and great at figuring out this relationship stuff. I just wish that one of us could've figured it out a little sooner. Honestly, I had contemplated whether or not Taylor and I would be able to work ourselves out of whatever funk we were in. I had even thought about the possibility of what my life would be like if we weren't together anymore…
"… but then you got pregnant and everything seemed to get a little better," Taylor concluded, effectively taking the words right out of my head.
It was kinda true though. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with my beautiful baby boy, would Taylor and I still be together? Don't get me wrong… I don't regret the events that led up to the wonderful addition of having my son in my life, but it does make me wonder though.
Suddenly, all of the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. Being graced with Taylor's true feelings over the past few years, the reason our relationship had been at a standstill finally made sense.
"All of the stuff you were saying before… is that the reason why you haven't proposed yet?" I hesitantly ask. I think I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear it from his mouth to confirm my suspicions.
Taylor doesn't answer me at first. Instead, he looks down at the ground and starts picking at his fingers. It's a nervous habit that he's always done when he's feeling anxious about something.
"Tay… please?" I beg him, hoping that he will just put me out of my misery already.
"Yes…" he finally says. My heart breaks a little. As he makes eye contact with me again, he continues. "I've wanted to marry you since we got together, all those years ago. I still want to marry you, but…"
"But what?" I urge him to continue.
"I don't know if you want to still marry me…" he states solemnly. "I was gonna ask you within the first few months of us living together, but like I said, things have been different. Honestly, I haven't asked yet because I wasn't really sure what you would say..."
"I…" I start to say, but then stop. Had Taylor asked me within the first few months of him moving to LA, maybe I would've said yes.
Maybe…
Whenever it came to talking about me and Taylor's future together, maybe was never a word that was in my vocabulary. I've never had doubts about us before until recently. Now, I'm not sure how to feel or what's gonna happen next.
"So… what happens now?" I wonder out loud.
"I t-think… I think maybe it's time we face the facts," Taylor states slowly. "We're not happy anymore… and we haven't been for a while now. The only thing that's really keeping us together right now is Elijah."
"I don't want our son to grow up in two different households," I state, trying to make sense of all of this.
"I don't want that either. However, I also don't want our son to grow up in a household where his parents are unhappy and just going through the motions for his sake," Taylor explains. I understood exactly what he was saying and agreed with him for the most part, but the overall timing just sucked.
"Heather, I could ask you to marry me right now and you could easily say yes, but I know that your heart wouldn't be in it," Taylor continues. "I know you too well. I don't want you to settle for me or this life just because you think you're supposed to or cuz you think you don't have other options."
As I listen intently to Taylor's words, I can't help but think that settling is exactly what I was content on doing. I would be fine with the non-existent relationship that me and Taylor currently have; as long as I had Elijah, I didn't mind giving my baby boy 100% of my time and attention.
"Heather… at the end of the day, I just want you to be happy," Taylor picks back up, "… even if it's not with me."
At this point, the tears are forming in my eyes as I realize that this is really happening.
"Will it hurt to see you with someone else… sure," Taylor starts again. "What would hurt even more though is if you stayed with me, knowing that your heart belonged to someone else."
As Taylor steps towards me and wraps me in his arms, I finally let the tears fall. We hold each other tightly, both afraid of what's to come once we pull apart.
"It's time for us to finally grow up and stop playing house…"
"But what about Elijah? What about our whole living situation?" I ponder.
"We'll figure it out," Taylor reassures. "We have a son now, so we're always gonna be a part of each other's lives. It'll be tough at first, but Elijah will never have to question how much we love him."
"You know I'll always love you, Tay… you're my best friend," I state honestly.
"I know… me too, Heather… me too!"
Hours later, I still lied awake in bed replaying me and Taylor's entire conversation. Taylor was nice enough to give me the master bedroom while he moved a few things into the guest room.
It was over… like really over.
I was still trying to wrap my head around the idea of no longer being an us. No more Heather and Taylor. No more Mr. Hubble and Miss Morris. No future Mr. and Mrs. Hubble. All of the hopes and dreams we had built together since we were 17 years old just seemed to disappear within an instant.
The thing that kills me the most is how much of a stand-up guy Taylor is. This conversation was a long time coming, but it wasn't one that I would've had the courage to bring up. With that being said, I would've definitely continued on with our stagnant relationship and pretended that everything was okay when it really wasn't. Taylor did what he knew I wouldn't do… what I couldn't do. I never wanted to be the bad guy in this. I would much rather have my heartbroken than for his to be, but life doesn't always work out the way you want it to.
It's never too late…
Taylor had released me from my commitment to him. Taylor had set me free and made me able to pursue other people, if I wanted. Taylor allowed me to finally breathe again. I haven't been single in 10 years, so I really don't know what to do with myself. What I do know is that I won't be getting any sleep tonight. I have to know if this was all for nothing. I have to tell her. I have to see her.
Naya's POV
Bang… Bang… Bang…
"What the hell?" I say out loud as I'm woken up from my sleep.
As I look at the clock that reads 3:56AM, I wonder who in their right mind would be banging on my door at this time of night. To me, it sounded like someone wanted to die.
Today had been a very interesting, yet exhausting day. It all started with a surprise visit from one Miss Lea Michelle. I was happy to see her out and about, especially after last night's whole ordeal. However, I was in no way prepared for the impromptu conversation that we had. She said a lot of fascinating things and made a lot of interesting points, but it kinda seemed like our topic of conversation was coming out of left field. After she left, I felt more confused than I have ever felt before in my life. And if that wasn't enough, I had a very interesting and unexpected date with Sean.
I haven't been able to shake my earlier conversation with Lea or the one with Sean that followed. It's part of the reason why I had only gotten maybe 1 hour of sleep before some maniac decided to show up at my house.
Bang… Bang… Bang…
"Who the fuck is knock—" I yell out as I violently swing my front door open, not even bothering to look through the peep hole.
I know it wasn't the smartest move on my part, but I was just so irritated and ready to slap the shit out of the person on the other side of the door that I threw safety out the window. My words quickly died on my lips when I saw the topic of today's earlier conversation standing in front of me.
"Heather?" I state more softly as I observe my best friend. "What are… nevermind, just come inside?"
As Heather gives me a weak nod, she brushes pass me and enters my home. Once she's safely inside, I walk over to her and delicately place my hand on her shoulders.
"Honey, what's wrong? Is the baby okay?" I quickly ask. Heather just looks down at the ground and begins to rub her temples. "HeMo… please tell me what's going on?"
Heather takes a step back and then begins to pace back and forth. When she finally stops in front of me, her body looks so tense and rigid. As she looks into my eyes, I can't read her expression.
"I need to ask you something…" she finally says. I nod my head for her to continue. "Are you in love with Sean? Like… do you see yourself with him in the future?"
"W-what? Where is this coming from?" I was caught off guard by her question, just like I was with my earlier conversation with Lea.
"I was just wondering…" Heather starts to say. "It's just that for the past 10 years, I was absolutely positive that Taylor and I would get married one day, have kids, and grow old together. But then, we broke up…"
"Wait, what?!" I almost yell out in shock. "What do you mean you broke up? You just had a baby…"
"We haven't been happy for a while… we both felt it, but neither of us wanted to be the first to admit it," she says solemnly. "There are a lot of things that I learned about myself and our relationship today…"
"What brought this on? And what's gonna happen with Eli?" I wonder.
"Eli will be fine… we'll make sure of it," Heather states. "As far as the other part… apparently my heart belongs to someone else. It has for a while now… I was just too blind not to realize it until now."
As I listen to the words that Heather is speaking, I can't help but be moved by them. Here she is, telling me about the end of her 10 year relationship with her high school sweetheart, yet she is standing strong and tall. Heather is so amazing and unlike any person I have ever met before. Maybe there was something to what Lea was saying.
"You still haven't answered my question… " Heather begins again, "about Sean…"
"Oh, I guess I didn't…" I hesitantly respond.
There was so much that had taken place from earlier on in the day that it was hard to get all of my feelings in check. If I had any doubts about my previous decision in regards to my relationship with Sean, standing in front of Heather right now only solidify my choice.
"Sean proposed to me…" I start off. Heather's face visibly drops. I look at her and gently grab ahold of her hand to ask her to let me finish. As she nods, I continue. "I care about Sean, a lot…"
"So you're…" Heather starts to say.
"Engaged?" I finish her sentence. "No… I'm not."
"What, uh… what happened?" Heather questions, seeming trying to keep her voice even.
"Although I care about him deeply…" I state while grabbing Heather's other hand and lacing our fingers together, "I'm not in love with him."
"Oh…" Heather responds as she looks down at our joined hands.
"How could I be when I'm constantly thinking about you?" I state rhetorically. Heather immediately snaps her head up and looks deep into my eyes. "I think I've spent too much time not telling you how I really feel about you…"
"So tell me now…" Heather says barely about a whisper. I slowly shake my head at her, not willing to give away my biggest secret so easily.
"Nuh uh… you first," I reply back.
As Heather licks her lips, she takes a step closer to me. Once I feel her breath on lips, my eyes instinctively close and prepare for something I have wanted since the day I met this incredible blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty.
And just like that, time remains still as Heather's lips meet mine. This was unlike any kiss I had ever experienced before. It was so soft and sensual. It was better than any Brittana kiss I have ever shared with her. It was just me and Heather, lost in this moment… this perfect moment.
As our lips part ways from each other, Heather rests her forehead against mine.
"I love you…" she says breathlessly, nearly making my knees buckle. I take a deep breath and fight the tear that is dying to fall down my cheek.
"I am so in love with you," I finally respond after gathering myself.
As the words leave my mouth, our lips are re-connected. We exchange soft, lazy kisses, just simply exploring this new aspect of our relationship. At one point, our tongues meet and a burning sensation shoots throughout my body. Before things get too heated, be break apart for air, both feeling the tingling sensation left on our lips.
"I guess it's really never too late to go after what you want," Heather says.
Hmm… that sounds oddly familiar.
"Where did you hear that from?" I question.
"Let's just say a little birdie told me," she replies coyly.
"Does that birdie happen to go by the name of Lea Michelle?"
"Maybe… I guess she did a number on you too?" Heather asks.
"Yeah, you could say that…" I respond, "… it was definitely worth it though."
Heather just smiles back at me and pulls me tighter into her embrace. We spend the rest of the early morning hours cuddling and re-counting the events that led us up to this moment. I don't know what's going to happen next as far as Heather and the baby goes, but we'll figure it out… together. In no way would I ever try to take Taylor's place now that I'm with Heather. However, I will love that little boy just like he was my very own and be there for him whenever he needs me. I may struggle at times and have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but as long as I have Heather by my side to guide me through it, I feel like I can do anything.
Author's Note:
Hey guys! First off, I just want to give props to the entire Glee cast for their stunning performances on "The Quarterback" episode. I thought they did an excellent job at honoring Cory's memory. I wish that Heather and Dianna could've been there too. And as always… Naya was amazing! I usually hate crying, but watching this episode… it just couldn't be help. On a lighter note, I wrote this story to kinda counter-act all of the sadness and raw emotions that this episode brought. I tried to make it as realistic as possible with the message of not being afraid to tell someone how you feel. Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today. Don't waste a great opportunity to only realize later that you let a good thing go by. Thanks again for reading and look out for the final updates on Recipe for Disaster and You and Me.
Much love,
Kris ;)
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
RIP Cory