Buffy and Her Friends are owned by Joss Whedon and a bunch of suits. I'm altering their realities for fun, not profit, as I own nothing and have the credit report to prove it.
Even after the others crept away, Willow waited. She was tired, more tired than usual, and blood dripped steadily from her nose. Willow long ago gave up trying to stop it. She stayed in the trees, gritting her teeth each time the motorcycles came near. Her eyes remained on Buffy's grave, hopeful still that the resurrection spell would work, that the dark blotches she felt so acutely on her soul weren't for naught.
At first, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. The grass undulated, and Willow blinked to clear her vision, and looked again. The grass was definitely moving, almost as if it were breathing. Willow took a deep breath and moved from the relative safety of the trees into the open cemetery. She heard motorcycles drawing closer, but ignored that for the moment.
A hand appeared, and Willow grasped the wrist firmly and leaned back, letting her slight weight assist her pulling. Within moments, Buffy Summers, protector of the human world, was free from the waist up. There was a wild look in her eyes, and she growled as Willow continued to help her from the earth.
The motorcycles were louder now, and Willow saw the flash of a headlight. She tried to pull Buffy toward the trees, but Buffy resisted. She pushed Willow away, and as she fell to the ground, Buffy turned to face the noise that grated so horribly through her ears and into her brain. Willow scrambled up and approached Buffy again. By the time she reached her, the motorcycles were there.
At first there was only one demon, circling them and throwing up clods of grass and earth. A second, and a third joined it, and after that, Willow lost count of how many there were. She touched Buffy's shoulder, and Buffy shrugged her off. Then she launched herself at the largest creature.
Willow watched, stunned, as Buffy ripped it to pieces. She thought she heard the Slayer making noises, grunts and growls, but couldn't be sure because of the din of the motorcycles. Buffy launched herself at another, and another, before the other demons realized what was happening. She ripped an arm from one and used it as a club to knock the others to the ground. Before they could mount a counterattack, Buffy moved from one to another. She bit, kicked, and punched. There was no finesse to her attack. She ripped the last demon's head from its body and held it over her head as a trophy, mindless of the blood and ichor that fell onto her.
For a moment, Willow was afraid. Buffy drop kicked the head away and turned her attention to the redhead. She examined her through narrowed eyes, then came close. She sniffed Willow, circling her as the witch stood as still as she could. Buffy poked her experimentally, and Willow couldn't stop her cry of pain. Buffy paused and looked at her suspiciously. A low growl came from the Slayer's throat.
"Buffy," Willow said tentatively, but received no verbal response.
The Slayer lifted Willow easily and threw her over one shoulder. She headed for the far side of the cemetery.
"Hey!" Willow protested. "Buffy, this isn't funny. Put me down!"
Buffy ignored her, and when Willow slapped her back, Buffy gripped her more securely, forcing most of the air from Willow's lungs. After that, Willow decided to wait until they stopped to reason with Buffy. Willow lost track of where they were going. Buffy didn't care what they walked through, and although she moved stealthily, her gait was uneven. The bouncing made Willow feel more ill, and soon her only thought was the hope that they would stop.
Buffy continued to move away from Sunnydale proper, away from the noises that hurt her ears, and away from the demons causing them. She didn't have a goal except to stay away from others. Others always meant trouble and pain. The one slung over her shoulder was neither of those things. She was familiar to Buffy, who brought her along to keep her safe.
They ended up at the cave complex just past Sunnydale's eastern border. Buffy approached cautiously, sniffing the air with every step. She avoided the large open entrance in favor of a smaller one that was nearly invisible behind a thicket of briars. She stooped and picked up a stone and threw it in the cave to make certain it was deserted. Once she was satisfied, she edged around the thorns, ignoring those that caught in their clothes and hair, and took them into the cave.
Buffy unceremoniously dumped Willow on the ground and prowled around, reassuring herself that there was no one else there. Willow was too miserable to care. Blood dripped from her nose, her head pounded, and she was sick to her stomach from the combination of magic backlash and Buffy's rough handling. When Buffy returned to her, she again sniffed Willow carefully. Willow reached for her, but Buffy smacked her hand away.
"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked.
Buffy growled.
Willow closed her eyes. She was enervated and heartbroken. Although it was Buffy's body, it wasn't her friend. She wasn't certain what was going on, and could only hope that Buffy would continue to believe she was no threat. She felt Buffy's breath on her cheek, and remained perfectly still. A few moments later, Buffy grunted and moved away. Willow couldn't help herself. Exhaustion overtook her, and she fell asleep.
She woke to a disturbing sight. Buffy crouched two feet away, her face and hands covered in fresh blood. Buffy grunted and bit into whatever it was in her hands. She greedily slurped in the piece that broke away. She saw Willow's open eyes and tore it in half. She tossed it so that it landed right in front of Willow. Willow pushed herself up, turned her head, and vomited.
At 1630 Revello Drive, Tara paced in front of Xander and Anya, seated on the couch. "I can't believe you left her," she said again to Xander.
"I didn't leave her. We got separated," he explained again. "I'm sure she'll be home soon."
"You saw those demons, Xander," Tara said.
"I did. Will's smart. She'll be fine."
"She used so much magic, she won't be able to defend herself." Tara reached the end of the room and turned to begin her next circuit.
"As soon as it's light, I'll go look for her," Xander said. He stared at the floor, remembering the horrific changes that came over and through Willow as she worked the spell.
Anya, for once, was silent, and that worried Tara more than anything.
Willow moved away from the pool of vomit, further back into the cave and away from Buffy. Buffy watched her, and Willow moved slowly, partly because she felt so bad and partly to prevent Buffy from charging her. Buffy finished what was in her hands. Willow heard bones crack and crunch as Buffy chewed, and struggled not to vomit again.
Buffy stood, but not completely upright. She slouched over and picked up the bloody chunk of meat she had tossed to Willow, ignoring the mess inches from it. Buffy approached Willow, holding her offering out to the redhead.
"No, thanks, I'm not hungry," Willow said. Her voice was shaky.
Buffy thrust it insistently at her, and Willow shook her head. She kept her hands at her sides. Buffy looked at her, shrugged, and stuffed the meat into her mouth. Willow looked at the ground. Buffy was still chewing, thankfully with her mouth closed, when she grabbed Willow's arm and pulled them even deeper into the cave.
An opening in the ceiling let in enough light for Willow to see, and she did her best to keep up with the Slayer, who loped along while keeping a firm grip on Willow's forearm. When they stopped, Willow saw why Buffy had taken them further in. There was a small pool of water, its surface broken by the force of the artesian spring that created it. Buffy released Willow and threw herself onto her stomach. She put her face in the water and sucked in her fill. Willow knelt beside her and drank from her cupped hands while Buffy watched curiously. Moments later, she copied Willow's actions. That relieved Willow's anxiety a little. When Buffy finished drinking, Willow washed her hands and face, and again, Buffy mimicked her.
Willow looked carefully at Buffy, and was reminded of Buffy's transformation by cursed beer during their first year of college. This went deeper, though, as though something fundamental had changed. There was something familiar about Buffy's behaviors, although Willow couldn't figure out why. She was brought from her thoughts by Buffy's firm grip on her forearm. Buffy led them even deeper into the cave, and when she found a place that suited her, dropped to the cave floor. She pulled Willow down, too, and moved her until Willow sat between Buffy's splayed legs, her back to Buffy. Buffy locked her legs around Willow. She wrapped her arms around her, too, and leaned back, pulling Willow along. She examined Willow's ears, neck, and shoulders carefully. Willow tracked the explorations by Buffy's quick exhalations.
Whatever Buffy was looking for or trying to learn must have been satisfactory. She tightened her grips on Willow, and soon was breathing slowly and evenly. Having nothing else to do, and still worn out from expending more power than any one human should, Willow slept, too.
Xander began his search at the cemetery. What he found was distressing. The demons vandalized the cemetery, and something vandalized them. There were body parts and bits of broken motorcycle all around Buffy's grave. The Urn of Osiris lay dented and discarded at the base of Buffy's smashed tombstone. The grass was torn up everywhere, and Xander found no evidence of Willow or any other human.
He left the cemetery and began to search Sunnydale systematically. The last place he checked was the Rosenberg house, but it, too, was empty. Disheartened, Xander walked slowly toward the Magic Box. Around him, Sunnydale residents cleaned up the mess. Downtown looked like a CNN feed from the Middle East.
In the Magic Box, Dawn, Tara, and Anya were doing their best to return the store to its normal tidy state. All of them looked up when the bell rang. Xander stood in the doorway and looked at the floor, unwilling to meet Tara's eyes.
Anya said his name uncertainly.
"I'm sorry," Xander said.
Tara felt all of the air leave her body as she collapsed. Dawn was beside her a moment later. She didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around Tara. In the far-off background, Tara heard Anya and Xander talking.
"I looked everywhere, An." Xander was determined not to cry in front of them. This was worse than Buffy's death. Willow was part of everything in his life.
Anya looked helplessly from Tara to Xander. She always expected Buffy's death, and wasn't surprised when it happened. But Willow...even when they clashed, she liked the redhead, liked the way she learned to stand up for herself and speak her mind. She went to Xander and wrapped her arms around him.
Buffy woke and stretched. Willow tried to stand up, but Buffy wouldn't allow it. She did let Willow turn a little more than 90 degrees, so that Willow could see her easily. Except for being dirty, Buffy looked like Buffy. Willow wondered whether she remembered anything of her life in Sunnydale.
Willow opened her mouth to speak, and Buffy clamped her hand across it. She tilted her head, obviously hearing something that Willow couldn't. When Willow heard rocks dislodge at the entrance, Buffy got to her feet and disappeared into the shadows. Moments later, Willow heard a series of sounds: the whistling of a stone thrown at high speed; its impact with an object; and the collapse of a sizeable body. She got up and moved quietly toward the entrance.
Buffy stood over yet another demon. It was kin to those she destroyed the night before, and as Willow watched, Buffy calmly kneeled on its back and ripped its head from its body. She looked up and saw Willow as she tossed the head aside. Buffy moved quickly toward Willow, who involuntarily backed away from her. It didn't stop Buffy, who again tossed Willow over her shoulder and pushed her way through the briars at the entrance.
After several minutes, they stopped in the deep shade of old trees. Buffy put Willow on her feet. Willow grabbed Buffy's hand and held on, and started them walking. She knew more or less where they were, and knew, too, that she had to find a safe place for them to spend some time. She thought about Angel's mansion on Crawford Street, but it was far away and activity there would attract attention. Her next thought was of Oz's cage. The more she considered it, the better it seemed. She could lock Buffy up if she had to. The crypt that held it was in an unused part of one of Sunnydale's oldest cemeteries, so it was unlikely that anyone would stumble across them. All she had to do now was get Buffy there.
Buffy followed her willingly for the most part. She was easily distracted, and when she wanted to stop, nothing Willow could do made her move until Buffy was ready. It was late in the day by the time they slipped into the crypt. Buffy hadn't spoken. She responded to Willow's overtures with grunts and wary looks.
The place where Willow's heart broke for the first time was unchanged except for a layer of dust. Willow led Buffy into the cage and shut the door. Buffy looked angry at that, and Willow tried to calm her. After a few tense moments, Buffy accepted the situation and began to explore. Willow removed the extra key from its place on the wall and locked them in. She put the key in her pocket and waited for Buffy to finish sniffing around.
Buffy's lip curled at the scent of yet another demon. The odor was old, though, and she decided they were safe. She returned to Willow, and pulled her to the wall opposite the door. They returned to their earlier position, Buffy leaning against the wall, her arms and legs locked around Willow to hold her firmly against her body.
"I wish you understood me," Willow said.
Buffy grunted, and Willow felt Buffy's nose against the nape of her neck. She waited patiently for the Slayer to fall asleep. Once Willow was certain Buffy was out, she carefully wormed her way from Buffy's hold. They needed things, and Buffy couldn't run loose.
Buffy woke when the door closed. Willow was removing the key from the lock by the time Buffy reached the door. Willow, uncertain of Buffy's intention, backed away, and Buffy whimpered. That sound, so forlorn, hurt Willow as much as anything had since Buffy's death. "I'll be back soon," she promised, and turned away.
While Willow walked to her house, she went over the spell again, but could find nothing that would cause Buffy to be like she was. Willow knew she couldn't let the others see Buffy. She bullied and cajoled until they acquiesced to her demand to resurrect the Slayer, and Willow couldn't bear to see the disappointment in their eyes, especially Tara's.
She realized it was the first time she thought of her lover since long before they left for the cemetery the night before. Tara would be worried, but Willow could do nothing about it now. Buffy was her priority. Willow arrived at her parents' house and began piling things they needed on the kitchen table. When the tabletop was full, she loaded the items into plastic trash bags, took them to the garage, and pushed them in the back of her mother's Volvo. She made one more trip to the kitchen, and emptied it of anything edible. In the last bag she put a can opener, paper plates, cutlery and plastic glasses. She pulled two envelopes from the refrigerator on her final trip from the kitchen. She put them in the visor before starting the car. On the way to the cemetery, Willow stopped at the grocery store, where she bought two cases of bottled water and a container of baby wipes.
She parked beside the crypt entrance. Its door faced away from the road, and it was improbable that anyone would notice a car there. Willow grabbed the first bag and slung it over her shoulder. She emptied the car, and Buffy looked curiously at her as she lined the outside of the cage with plastic bags. When the car was empty, Willow let herself back into the cage and again locked them in.
Buffy immediately approached her and began sniffing. She reminded Willow of the dog Xander had when they were young. Every time they came in from playing in the yard, the dog inspected them. Willow stood still and let Buffy examine her. When she finished, Buffy grunted and turned her attention to the one of the black plastic bags. She began with a visual examination, then moved to smelling it, and finally touched it cautiously. Willow watched her, waiting to see what Buffy would do.
Buffy pawed at the bag until its opening unfurled. She stuck her hand in and pulled out the first thing she touched, a nearly full jar of peanut butter. When Buffy couldn't figure out how to open it, she tossed it aside. Willow recovered it and opened it. She held it in front of her and said Buffy's name. She repeated it until Buffy turned around. Willow pointed at her and said, "Buffy." Then she pointed at herself and said, "Willow."
Buffy ignored her as she moved closer, drawn by the smell of peanut butter. To show her it was safe, Willow scooped some onto her index finger and put it in her mouth. Buffy watched intently, and repeated the action when Willow offered her the jar. After a taste, Buffy snatched the jar from Willow and retreated to a corner. She hunched over the jar, growling while she dug peanut butter out with her fingers.
Willow took advantage of Buffy's preoccupation to check the bags and see which ones held what. That finished, she tore open the plastic wrap on one of the cases of water and pulled two bottles inside with them, setting one aside for herself. She wondered whether it was safe to approach Buffy, and decided to take her chances. Buffy growled louder the closer she got, and Willow stopped a few feet from her. She twisted the lid off the water bottle. She drank from it and held it out to Buffy.
Buffy moved incredibly fast. She leaped up, snatched the water bottle from Willow's hand, and returned to her corner in less than a second. Willow watched her for a few more seconds before withdrawing to the other side of the cage.
As night drew closer, Buffy became increasingly restless. Willow did her best to ignore the pacing Slayer while she prepared beds for them against the back wall. She smiled wistfully at the sleeping bags, remembering the last time she and Xander used them. His had Spiderman on it; hers had the Smurfs, and they camped in the Rosenberg back yard, pretending it was the jungle.
That job finished, she went through the food until she found tuna and crackers, and sat down to eat. Buffy sidled up to her, and Willow offered her a cracker with a chunk of tuna. Buffy took it gently, and sniffed it before putting it in her mouth. Moments later, she tugged on Willow's sleeve. Willow took that to mean that Buffy wanted more, and handed her another cracker. They continued to share until the tuna was gone. Willow handed the nearly empty sleeve of crackers to Buffy, who made quick work of them.
Willow stood up and brushed off the crumbs, then went to her sleeping bag. She got in and tried to make herself comfortable, but Buffy wasn't having it. Willow unzipped the bag and threw it open. Buffy kneeled at Willow's waist. Willow waited to see what Buffy would do next, but Buffy just sat there and stared at her. Willow sighed and sat up, and Buffy moved behind her and wrapped her arms and legs securely around Willow.
They all sat on the couch in Xander's apartment and watched night fall onto Sunnydale. Tara hadn't made a sound in the hours since Xander returned to the shop. Xander did what he could to secure the doors, and brought them all to his place. The thought of Buffy's house made his heart seize up, and he couldn't begin to imagine what it would to Tara and Dawn.
Anya didn't protest about the cost when he called Giles to tell him. Giles was stunned, but said nothing about coming back. For Xander, that was the final straw. They were only human; without Buffy or Willow to protect them, Sunnydale was an extraordinarily dangerous place. Without them, there was no reason for him to stay here, no reason for the others to remain. He doubted that Willow's parents would notice her absence, and he had no idea how to reach them to tell them she was gone. He made his decision in a few moments, and went over it again and again, always coming to the same conclusions. It was up to him to take care of the others, and the first thing to do was get far away from the hellmouth.
He looked down the sofa at them. Anya at his side, uncertain what, if anything, to do. Dawn, struggling to be grown-up and keep Tara from losing it, even though she'd lost her fourth parental figure in less than a year. Tara, withdrawn and silent, staring only at the floor. He would tell them later. Right now, he had to take care of them. They had to eat, and he reached for the phone and called for pizza.
Willow woke because Buffy was growling softly. She turned as much as she could, trying to see whether Buffy was awake. Buffy's eyes were closed. Willow moved her hand over Buffy's and stroked gently. The touch woke the Slayer instantly. Buffy jerked awake and wildly looked around. Once she realized she was safe, she readjusted her hold on Willow and rested her chin on the redhead's shoulder before going back to sleep. Willow took a deep breath and closed her eyes. There had been too many months with not enough rest, and she dropped off quickly.
In the morning, she opened a box of cereal and handed it to Buffy, and got graham crackers for herself. Buffy set her cereal aside and got water bottles, placing one in front of Willow before retreating to a corner to eat. When they finished, Willow said Buffy's name. This time, the blonde looked at her expectantly. "Can you talk?" Willow asked.
"Wil-low." Buffy said slowly.
Willow beamed at her. "Very good, Buffy."
Buffy held out the empty cereal box. For the rest of the day, Buffy brought items to Willow, who told her their names. Buffy repeated the words back to her, and each time, Willow praised her. It made the time go a little faster, but like before, as night approached, Buffy paced anxiously, growling occasionally. As much as she wanted to let Buffy go, she couldn't risk it. Buffy might not return. She might hurt someone unintentionally, or any of a hundred other things that Willow could think of.
This night was longer than the others. Buffy couldn't settle down, and she wouldn't let Willow sleep. Willow debated going out to sleep in the car, but the recollection of the noise Buffy made the last time she left was the deciding factor against that. Buffy paced, and each time Willow drifted into sleep, Buffy crouched beside her and poked until Willow sat up again.
It was after 4 a.m. when Buffy lifted Willow and carried her to the other sleeping bag. Buffy leaned against the wall and wrapped her arms and legs around Willow. In moments, she was asleep, and within a minute, Willow joined her.
Willow woke first, but couldn't move. Buffy held her firmly. It was the first time Willow had to stop and think. It was hard to be rational. She was still tired, and had been for months. First, they were on edge about Joyce and Glory. Then, she tended Tara. Next, they were running. And then. Willow stopped, and forced herself to remember. And then, she used magic to help Buffy, and fix Tara, and then Buffy was dead. Willow saw again Buffy running and diving, heard the awful thud of her body landing and the terrible silence afterward.
They buried Buffy and Giles left. Tara still needed attention and reassurance, Dawn even more. They still had to patrol, and the Buffybot needed repairs and updates almost every day. Willow took care of all those things, but she had no one to lean on, no time to grieve, even less to rest.
The spell worked. Buffy was back. But she was different, and Willow's brain finally made the connection between Buffy now and Angel after the Powers That Be returned him to the world Buffy sent him from. Willow felt a quick rush of triumph. She had been right. Buffy was in hell, and now she wasn't. Angel recovered, and Willow was confident Buffy would, too. They needed time, and that was what they had, locked in together.
Willow felt Buffy wake behind her. Buffy nosed her way through Willow's hair to the nape of her neck and inhaled deeply. Willow shivered, and Buffy did it again, tickling the fine hairs with her breath. Buffy loosened her grips on Willow, who tried to squirm free. Buffy prevented her from leaving, although Willow now had enough space to turn a little. "Hungry?" she asked.
"Hun. Gry," Buffy repeated. "Sur. All."
"Sur. All. Oh, cereal, right. I think we still have some. You want cereal?"
Buffy nodded.
"You have to let me go."
"No."
"I can't reach it from here."
"No go."
"No go," Willow agreed. "Just get cereal."
Buffy released her hold, and Willow got to her feet. Buffy stood, too, and followed Willow across the cage. When Willow went far away from the door, Buffy went to the other end to get water for them. They met in the middle. Willow sat. Buffy stood, holding out a bottle of water, waiting to exchange it for the cereal.
Willow stood up again, and as she lowered herself to the floor, said, "Sit. Willow sits. Buffy, sit."
Buffy seemed to think it over for a while before dropping into a crouch in front of Willow.
"Close enough," Willow decided, and opened the box. She put it between them and waited to see what Buffy would do.
Buffy put a water bottle on either side of the box. Willow reached in and pulled out a handful of cereal. After a few seconds, Buffy did the same. Willow was elated. Buffy was learning quickly. Perhaps they wouldn't be here too long. Willow hoped not. She really wanted a shower, and Buffy could use one, too. Buffy grudgingly permitted her to clean her face and hands with the wipes, but that was the extent of her cooperation.
After eating, the day seemed to drag. They repeated their game of the day before. Buffy brought Willow things, and repeated the word Willow gave for them. Buffy even let Willow nap for brief intervals, but always woke her with a gentle nudge. As the day drew to a close, Buffy again became agitated. While she paced, Willow talked, telling Buffy everything she could remember since the day they met. Occasionally, Buffy seemed intrigued, and crouched in front of Willow, listening. Usually she paced and growled.
Willow fell asleep, and like the night before, Buffy woke her. "We can't patrol yet, Buffy. Let me sleep."
"Patrol?"
"Slay vampires."
"No." Buffy crossed the cage and crouched at the door. She tested it, but it held firm. She turned around and looked at Willow, who was nodding off again.
"No," Willow agreed. She lay down, cradling her head on her folded arm.
She woke early in the morning to find everything from the bags strewn about the cage. In her boredom, Buffy pulled everything through the bars and laid it on the floor for inspection. Willow sat up and Buffy bounded over to her, a bottle of water in one hand and a can in the other. "Breakfast," she said clearly.
Willow looked doubtfully at the can, but said, "All right." She got up and looked around for the can opener. Things weren't the mess they appeared at first glance. The can opener was on top of a pile of cans, all the shiny metal items in one place. The remaining things were grouped by color or texture. Willow got the can opener and a spoon from the top of the pile of cans and returned to Buffy. She opened the can and demonstrated how to use the spoon. A few moments later, Buffy was happily emptying it of baked beans. When it was finished, she got another can and presented it to Willow, who opened it for her.
While Buffy ate, Willow looked around and tried to figure out how to return things to storage without upsetting Buffy. Buffy emptied the second can and stretched. She yawned, and Willow hoped Buffy would sleep so she could restore order to the small space. Buffy had other ideas. She pulled Willow toward the back wall, and took her usual sleeping position, sitting up with Willow's back pressed into her front and held in place by Buffy's arms and legs. Willow sighed and wished she had remembered to throw at least one book in a bag.
Buffy didn't sleep long, and when she woke, was amenable to helping Willow. There were fewer bags this time, and they lined the inside of the cage to the left of the door. Buffy said the name of each item she picked up. She added descriptive terms to them as well, and Willow smiled at the return of Buffy's language skills.
When they finished, Buffy sat across from Willow and looked expectantly at her. "Willow talk."
After thinking for a few seconds, Willow picked up their story where she left off the night before, in the third year of their friendship. Buffy listened carefully, and nodded a few times, as if she recalled the events Willow recited. When Willow began to talk about her vampire alternate, Buffy's head snapped up.
"Buffy?"
"I remember, Will."
"Buffy?" Willow said again.
"Yeah."
Willow pushed herself forward and knocked Buffy back as she wrapped her arms around her. "I missed you so much." She pulled back to look at Buffy, who wouldn't meet her eyes. "You all right?"
"Not sure."
Willow moved from on top of her and stood up. She held her hand out and Buffy took it while getting to her feet. When she was upright, Willow hugged her again, and this time, Buffy wrapped her arms around Willow's waist, and began to weep. The one thing she wanted more than anything for as long as she could remember was comfort, and now she had it. Willow petted her, stroked her hair, and occasionally said, "It's all right now."
It took a long time for Buffy to settle down, and even after she separated from Willow, she held her hand. Buffy took a deep breath and asked, "Can we get cleaned up?"
"Thought you'd never ask," Willow answered with a grin. "You need to let go for a second, though." Buffy frowned, and Willow clarified, "Just long enough for me to get the keys."
Buffy released her hand, and Willow dug in her pocket. She removed two key rings and transferred them to her other hand before taking Buffy's again. Willow unlocked the cage, leaving the key in the door, and led Buffy outside. They got in the car and Willow started it. She turned to Buffy. "Do you want to go home?"
"Not right now. I can't deal with them yet."
"My parents' house?"
"Can we go somewhere that isn't in Sunnydale?"
Willow turned and looked at her.
After a few seconds, Buffy raised her head and looked back. "It's too much, Willow. I need someplace neutral."
"All right." Willow put the car in gear and reached for Buffy's hand. Buffy held it tightly, careful not to injure her.
Willow avoided all the places the Scoobies might be as she left town, heading north. They passed through two small towns. At the outskirts of the third, Buffy said, "This is far enough."
"All right." Willow saw Walmart. "We need to get some clothes and stuff." She pulled into the parking lot. "Are you going in with me?"
"No."
"You'll be here when I get back?"
"Yes."
"Promise?"
"I promise," Buffy said.
Buffy was there when Willow came out with four bags. She put them in the trunk and got back into the driver's seat. "The checker said there's a decent hotel about two miles up the road."
Buffy nodded.
"You hungry?"
"A little."
Willow drove through the parking lot to the KFC at its edge. She got a bucket of chicken, a bunch of sides, and two large drinks, then went looking for the hotel. She found it easily, and left Buffy in the car while she registered. They had two suites available on the back side, and Willow took one of them. She drove around and parked the car. Buffy gathered the food while Willow got the bags from the trunk. They went inside, and Willow found their room.
The kitchen was just inside the door, and Buffy put the food down on the small table. Willow walked a little further in and dropped the bags on the couch. She returned to the table, where Buffy still stood. "You all right?" Willow asked again.
"A little overwhelmed," Buffy admitted.
"Sit down," Willow instructed, and Buffy did. Willow checked the cabinets quickly and found plates, glasses, and cutlery. She piled food on a plate and put it in front of Buffy. She fixed a smaller helping for herself and sat down. When they finished eating, Willow suggested, "Shower?"
Buffy looked at her lap. "I feel stupid about this, but could you, you know, with me?"
"You want me to shower with you?" Willow looked at Buffy, frowning a little.
"I can't be alone any more."
"Ok," Willow agreed slowly.
Buffy gathered their plates and put them in the sink while Willow put the uneaten food in the refrigerator. They went to the bathroom together. Buffy stripped and got in first. Willow got in behind her moments later, and gasped when she saw Buffy. Buffy was far too thin, and covered in injuries in various states of healing. One, near her left shoulder blade, began to ooze blood as the water washed away its covering of dirt.
Willow washed Buffy's back gently, and knelt to clean her legs. While she stood, Buffy turned. She leaned her head back to let water run through her hair, and Willow used the washcloth to clean spots that Buffy missed. They washed Buffy's hair three times before she was satisfied it was clean, and traded places with Willow so she could bathe.
Willow wrapped a towel around herself and helped Buffy dry off. She casually rested her hand over Buffy's shoulder wound and quickly chanted a small healing spell to seal it. Willow left the bathroom and returned with two of the Walmart bags. She put one on the counter by the sink and dumped the contents of the second into the sink. From the other, she pulled underwear and oversized shirts. She looked at Buffy and smiled. "Not yummy sushi or anything like that, but I was in a hurry."
Buffy smiled back at her and accepted the items Willow handed her. She dropped the towel and pulled the shirt over her head, transferring the package of panties from one hand to the other. When they were both dressed, they went into the bedroom and turned back the bed. The bathroom light stayed on, but they didn't turn on the bedroom lights. They got into bed, sighing at the comfort of something other than rock, and moved toward its center. Buffy turned on her side and put her arm across Willow's abdomen. "I keep thinking I'll wake up," she said.
"After some sleep." Willow said firmly.
"I don't know if I can sleep like this," Buffy said.
"What do you mean?"
"Without you for a security blanket."
Willow patted Buffy's arm. "I promise I'll be right here the whole time."
Buffy closed her eyes and scooted closer to Willow. Willow slid her arm under Buffy, and Buffy moved her head to Willow's shoulder. Willow's hand moved through Buffy's hair. They both fell asleep quickly. Buffy threw her leg across Willow's and pulled her closer. The memories that churned in her dreams were fearful and exhausting, but Willow somehow drew her from them before they spun out of control. Buffy woke several times, but each time she was on Willow's shoulder, the redhead's arm resting against her back and her hand on Buffy's hip. Each time, Buffy moved closer to Willow. She was afraid, and Willow made her less afraid.
Buffy wasn't certain why, specifically, she was afraid. She hated to recall the constant battle to survive. Her back still ached where a demon's horn caused a deep puncture wound that didn't heal. At this moment, she was clean and in bed with the one person she trusted completely. She wasn't hungry. Nothing was coming for her. There was nothing vaguely supernatural pinging Buffy's senses. If it was a dream, it was a welcome escape from what she landed in after diving from the tower – 'important life lesson,' she noted, 'always go feet first.' To survive, she surrendered and let the Slayer take over. She had a thousand questions for Willow, but they were both so tired. Willow was asleep, her breathing slow and regular.
When the sun came up, Buffy got out of bed and opened the curtains. Their room faced east, and Buffy returned to her position on the bed to wait for the sun to come into sight. When it was fully in her eyes, she was able to close them and stay asleep.
Willow woke late in the afternoon. Buffy had pushed under her shirt, and Willow hated the rush of erotic thoughts Buffy's touch triggered. There was a long-standing list of reasons not to think of Buffy as any more than her best friend. Buffy wasn't helping, though, as she moved more and more onto Willow. Willow glanced down and met Buffy's eyes.
"Are you real?" Buffy whispered.
"As real as you are," Willow answered hoarsely.
"You saved me." Buffy wasn't sure why they spoke so quietly.
"Kinda had to."
"Was I dead?"
Willow closed her eyes for a moment, and opened them before answering. "Yeah."
"How long?"
"Five months."
"It seemed a lot longer."
"Here, too."
"Can we just not go back?"
"What?"
"I don't want to go back there."
Willow was stunned.
"I can't do it. I can't fight anymore."
Willow silently weighed Buffy's request. Could she leave them? She wasn't certain. Seeing Buffy, she knew that to return to the Hellmouth would be to kill her again. She stared at the wall while she debated. Buffy brought her away from it. "The only times I'm safe are with you."
Willow smiled. "Exactly how I feel."
"Are you sure this is real?"
"I swear, Buffy."
"All right." Buffy shifted to a more comfortable position, even though it meant she could no longer see Willow's face. She had Willow's heartbeat steady in her ear, and it was enough for the moment.
Willow looked at the top of Buffy's head while she thought. She hadn't called anyone. They probably thought she was dead, killed by the demons rampaging through Sunnydale. Tara could track her with magic, but would she try? Willow felt relief at the thought of not returning to Sunnydale. She had been responsible for all of them, even Xander to a degree. She was worn out before they followed Tara across town in the spring, and it had only gotten worse. Tara and Dawn both had nightmares. Willow would have, too, if she had been able to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. But she hadn't. There were always dozens of things she had to do. They would be waiting for her, all those things, and added to them the need to somehow keep Buffy alive. She could do one or the other, but not both.
"You really don't want to go back to Sunnydale?" Willow asked softly.
"No," Buffy answered immediately.
"What about Dawn?"
"I did what I had to do for her."
"That's not an answer, Buffy," Willow chided gently.
"I don't know how to take care of her. I can't even take care of myself."
"Still not an answer."
"She's better off without me," Buffy said.
"She'd disagree with you in a heartbeat."
"I can't do it, Will."
"I'm just trying to make sure you know what you're doing."
Buffy sat up. She looked down at Willow, her eyes dark and serious. "I know. I just, I can't go back there. I can't keep doing it. I'm so tired."
"Then lay down and rest."
"Can't sleep at night." Buffy began to back off the bed.
Willow reached out and grasped her forearm. "Don't run from me now."
"I'm not running."
"Talk to me."
"I need to close the curtains before it's dark."
Willow released her and watched Buffy close the curtains. She returned to the bed and sat beside Willow. "What did you do while I was gone?" Buffy asked.
"Regular stuff, you know, patrol, take care of Dawn and Tara, keep the 'Bot running, research."
"Who took care of you?"
Willow didn't answer. She thought about the past months, trying to find more than a moment or two the others put her ahead of their own needs.
"Will?" Buffy prompted.
"I did."
"They'll be better without us," Buffy said after a few seconds. "Xander will make them leave. He only stayed because of us."
"I know." Willow sat up and slid over beside Buffy.
Buffy took her hand without looking. She craved contact that wouldn't hurt. Willow could hurt her, but not by touching. Night was closer, she could feel. Still, there was nothing supernatural nearby. They were safe. Buffy realized she was hungry, and stood up, pulling Willow along. "We should eat."
"I got clothes for us, if you want to go out."
"No, let's just stay here."
"All right. Go find something on TV and I'll get everything."
They ate in front of the television, sharing cold chicken and passing the side dishes back and forth while reruns played unnoticed in the background. Buffy gathered their trash and added the plates and forks to the pile in the sink. She returned to the sofa and sat beside Willow. She was restless and anxious, and the constantly changing pictures didn't help, so she turned the television off. "Talk to me, Willow."
"What do you want to talk about?"
"You were telling me about us."
"I was trying to bring you back."
"I was kinda crazy, huh."
"Just a little. It's all right. I'm amazed you're doing as well as you are. It took Angel a couple months to get his stuff together."
"I don't wanna talk about that right now."
"Ok."
"Tell me what happened after I jumped."
Willow bit her lip and inhaled deeply. "Can I work my way up to that?"
"Sure."
"Um, all right." Willow paused to gather her thoughts. "We followed Tara, and the fight started. The 'Bot was fighting Glory and doing a pretty good job, and then you stepped in. I was able to grab Tara and do that spell. It worked. I guess you could tell it hurt Glory a little, but it worked on Tara, too. That was a lot of power, and I was trying to get it together so I could help some more, and I saw Dawn on the tower. Then I saw you, and I didn't see Glory any more after that. I just saw you. The sky was shredded and it was like some twisted version of 'The Persistence of Memory,' you know, the melting clocks? There were dragons and lightning and things just changed. That was sorta in the background for me. All I could hear was my breathing, and you were up there, talking to Dawn, and then you were running for the end of that platform. Everything stopped. Everything. It took so long for you to fall. I watched. I had to watch."
Willow brushed impatiently at her cheek, pushing away the tears she didn't realize were falling. Buffy watched her and wondered whether she should do anything. She moved toward the middle of the couch, closer to Willow, and put her hand on Willow's knee.
"And then you landed. That was the worst noise I ever heard. I couldn't hear anything else, but I heard you land. Dawn was on the tower, looking down. Her hand was over her mouth, and she was crying, and I think she wanted to scream. I know I did. Everyone was crying, and the minions scattered, and the crazy people wandered around. All I could do was stand there and look at you. I wanted you to get up so bad, but you didn't. Nobody moved for the longest time, and then it was like we woke up. Dawn came down from the tower, and Spike picked you up, and we limped back to the shop. Giles was bleeding. Spike was black and blue. Anya couldn't walk, and Xander carried her. I had Tara on one side and Dawn on the other and we were all crying.
"We left you there so we could go to the hospital. Tara needed a new cast, and Giles needed to be checked, and Dawn was in shock, and Anya sprained her ankle. We were there for so long, it seemed like forever. The emergency room was backed up with all the people from around the site, but they got us in and out as fast as they could. We went back to the house, and Xander and I took Giles' car and went to get you. It was early morning, then, and it had to be the two of us, we were the only ones." Willow trailed off, staring past Buffy's shoulder. She felt the warmth of Buffy's hand on her knee, and jerked slightly. She looked at Buffy's face, and couldn't stop her hand from reaching out to touch her cheek. Buffy closed her eyes and pressed against Willow's fingertips.
"It was so hard," Willow whispered, and drew her hand back. It landed on top of Buffy's on her knee. "I stopped at my house and got the yellow bedspread you like so much, and we went to the shop. We wrapped you up in the bedspread, and Xander and I buried you beside your mother. It took all day, just the two of us, and when we finished, we had to go back to the hospital and get a new cast for Xander. And then we went home. I was so tired, and I just wanted to sleep but I couldn't. Tara had nightmares, and Dawn had nightmares, and I ended up in bed between them, sitting up and watching so they could rest. The next day, Giles told us he was leaving, and he was gone by the end of the week. I was so mad at him. He just left us here to deal with everything.
"I sent Spike out to get the 'Bot. He cursed and swore he wouldn't, but I made him. No one but us knew you were dead, and I wanted to keep it that way. I called Angel, though, and sent Faith a letter. I thought they should know, and they wouldn't tell anybody, you know? I fixed the 'Bot. It always needed something, though. We patrolled, and Tara and Dawn worked at the shop while I researched and worked on the 'Bot. Every night, Tara and Dawn had nightmares. I couldn't find a way to stop them, and after a few nights, we all slept together. It was just easier. That and the nightlights helped.
"I missed you so much. I kept thinking, 'I should tell Buffy,' and then I'd remember you weren't here. And it occurred to me that maybe you weren't really dead. Maybe you got hung up in one of those hell dimensions Glory was trying to open. I tried to reach you, and I couldn't, and that was when I started researching. If you were dead, I would have been able to talk with your spirit, but I couldn't, so I started looking for a way to bring you back here. It wasn't that hard to find out how to do it, but getting everything I needed wasn't so easy. I made the others help. We didn't tell Dawn, in case it didn't work, but I bullied and whined until Tara and Xander and Anya agreed to help. And then I got to work, gathering what I needed for the spell. I thought it would be harder than it was. The hard part came after we got the Urn of Osiris, when I had to get the vino de madre. That was a couple hours before we left for the cemetery. We left Spike with Dawn and we went to get you back." Willow trailed off again. Her throat was dry, and she reached for her drink and took a few swallows. She put the glass down before she continued.
"It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess all that stuff I did because of Glory made me strong enough to channel all that power. I don't remember a lot of it, honestly. And then a bunch of demons came along, and one of them destroyed the urn. We kinda split up, to get away from the demons. I didn't go far, just out of their sight, and then I waited. I was so worried it didn't work, and if it didn't, we couldn't try again. And then you were climbing out, and here we are." Willow looked at Buffy and smiled.
"Wow," Buffy said softly.
"Totally," Willow agreed.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why did you bring me back, Will?"
"I couldn't stand the thought of you being somewhere awful," Willow said. "The sewers are pretty bad, but where you were had to be a million times worse, and you didn't deserve it, not for a second, and sure not forever."
"Wow," Buffy repeated, and got up. She began to pace as she had before.
Willow watched her make two circuits before something occurred to her. "Buffy, come over here."
Buffy stood in front of her seconds later. "What?"
"Sit." Willow pointed to the end of the couch. Sitting there, Buffy could look at the curtains.
Buffy looked at Willow, but did as she asked.
"Put your feet up and turn toward me." When Buffy did, Willow turned her back to her and scooted back.
Buffy realized what she was doing, and said, "We don't have to."
"Will it help?"
"Yes," Buffy whispered, and moved her legs to make room for Willow. As soon as she was close enough, Buffy wrapped herself around Willow. She felt better with Willow as an additional shield against the dark. "Thank you," she said.
Willow felt Buffy relax a little. "Whatever you need."
"What do you need?"
Willow weighed Buffy's question. There were so many possible answers, and they were different now than they would have been a week ago. "Nothing. I'm good," she said finally.
"Willow," Buffy said. Her tone spoke her disbelief of Willow's answer.
"A little sleep, but other than that, I'm good. Really."
"Can you sleep like this?"
"Yeah. Feels nice." Willow leaned back and allowed Buffy to fully support her weight.
Buffy didn't say anything. She stared at the curtains and listened to Willow go to sleep. Buffy was bone tired, too, and found herself nodding off minutes after Willow.
Sometime during the night, they moved to bed. Shortly before sunrise, Buffy slipped out of bed long enough to open the curtains. Willow was awake when she returned. "All right?" Willow asked.
Buffy nodded and fit herself to Willow's side again. She closed her eyes, welcoming the light that kept memories at bay and allowed her to rest. It was still bright out when she woke again. Willow was watching her, stroking her hair. Buffy tried to remember the last time anyone other than Willow touched her in kindness, and came up blank. "We should get up," Buffy said quietly.
"All right," Willow agreed, but didn't move. She didn't know how long she watched Buffy sleep while she pondered all the implications of Buffy's request for them to leave. They could go anywhere. Willow was certain she could get a scholarship, and all she had to do was tell her parents she transferred, and they would put money in her bank account instead of leaving it on the refrigerator. They would be delighted that she left Sunnydale to go to a real school. She would miss Xander the most. He was part of her everyday life for as long as she could remember. Her love for Tara changed at some point. She didn't burn for the other witch's touch, didn't feel like a part was missing if they weren't together. The others would care for Dawn, and Anya could always fend for herself. Willow realized that she made her decision.
She would have followed Buffy into hell if had been an option. She would follow Buffy anywhere. A line from the Old Testament crept into her thoughts: 'Whither thou goest, I will go.' She loved Buffy, and it was fine, well maybe not fine but she would deal, if Buffy didn't love her back the same way, but it made no difference.
"Where do you want to go?" Willow asked quietly.
"Away," Buffy said firmly, immediately understanding Willow's question. She wasn't certain why Willow was asking, whether it would make a difference.
"All right," Willow said again. She thought again of what she was leaving behind, her entire life, and felt lighter. "Tomorrow."