Isle Esme, the morning after

by Willowby

The first night of Edward and Bella's honeymoon was a success... almost. Of course, Bella is determined to get what she wants... more lemons! One-shot. My first attempt at fanfiction, so RxR please!

I stirred as the sun broke through the east window. I was just awake enough to realize that opening my eyes at that moment would be a bad idea. But really, nothing could ruin my mood. My new husband, my life, my love and I had safely and successfully consummated our marriage vows, despite his near constant worrying that he was going to break me. I was anything but broken.

With my eyes still closed, I reached next to me expecting to find the cold skin I longed to touch, but all I found were pillows and blankets. "Edward?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to alarm him, but also confused as to why he wasn't in our bed. When he didn't respond, I called to him again, this time facing the glare of the sun as I opened my eyes.

"I'm over here," he responded coldly.

I shaded my face with one hand, finally spotting him in a chair in the far corner of the room. He stared out the window toward the rising sun, looking sullen. I couldn't imagine why, since I felt nothing short of glorious.

My mind began making a list of possible reasons for his inexplicable mood. Did I say something in my sleep that upset him? Had someone, perhaps Alice, called to give him some sort of terrible news? Then my biggest fear jumped to the forefront of my mind - did he regret marrying me for some reason? I knew I could torture myself for hours, trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, but instead I decided to simply ask.

"Edward... darling... why are you all the way over there?" As hard as I'd tried to be breezy, even I could hear the worry in my voice.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked quietly, with revulsion in his voice.

"No, I don't know what you're talk..." My voice cut off suddenly as my now adjusted eyes caught sight of the object of his gloominess. My arms were full of bruises, some light, some very dark, and all very clearly shaped like fingerprints. There was no denying what had happened. A few of the blotches were a little tender, but most I didn't even notice. That didn't matter. He'd noticed, and I'm sure he had spent the entire night browbeating himself for what he would consider a heinous, inexcusable act of selfishness.

"I can't believe I was stupid enough to even think this could possibly work," he spat out the bitter words. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or to himself.

"Edward..." I started, not knowing exactly what to say next. "Edward, come here... please?"

"Why?" he seethed. "Did I miss something? Is there a place on your entire body that isn't purple yet? Maybe I can break a bone or two while I'm at it!"

Now I was angry. "Edward Cullen! You stop this right now! I won't have you ruin the best night of my life with something that doesn't even matter!"

"How can you say that?" he all but whispered. "You're all that matters. But can that be enough for me? Noooooo... No, I have to try to have it all!" His sarcasm was thick. "I can't just bask in the glory of being married to the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful woman on the planet. I can't just be happy that I finally found the one, after a century of searching. No, I have to push it just a little further. Having it all isn't quite enough for me! I have to take more, even at the expense of the woman I claim to love!"

"Are you quite finished?" I admonished after I saw him drop his head into his hands. "If you won't come to me, I'm coming to you," I announced as I started to move out from under the sheets, which is when I realized that my ribs and the sides of my hips were obviously bruised, too. I winced ever so slightly, but despite my attempt to cover my reaction, he caught it. Of course, it wasn't going to stop me. I continued to move, trying to ignore the sudden realization that I felt like I'd been beaten with a bat.

"Please stop, Bella," he muttered, shaking his head in disapproval. The next second, he was sitting at the foot of the bed, about two feet out of my reach, staring straight ahead.

"Edward, please talk to me. I can't stand this. I woke up so happy! I thought you would feel the same way. I didn't even feel the..." I paused, not wanting to say the word.

"Bruises," he solemnly filled in the blank.

"So what? Edward, I've bruised myself worse than this a thousand times! And that's just this year." I tried to make a little joke, but he was having none of it.

"It's different when you do it to yourself. But even when you run into the corner of a coffee table, I want to crush it... to punish it for hurting you. It's an inanimate object, but I have a choice. I chose this," he scowled as he gestured toward me.

"But don't you see? I chose this, too. And I would choose it again. And again. Even if I knew it was going to be ten times worse, I would still happily choose it. If I have to deal with a tiny amount of pain to experience so much... so much oneness with you, to feel your love... to show you mine, it's a very small price to pay."

"Bella, you shouldn't have to pay a price for those things. If you had a human husband, you wouldn't ever have to make that kind of sacrifice," he reasoned.

I paused, and then decided to take a new tack. "If a woman the size of Alice married a man the size of Emmett, don't you think there might be a chance she could be crushed a little? Don't you think she might get a bruise or two along the way? Do you think they would just avoid making love because it might be dangerous?" He started to protest, but I held up my finger. "I know what you're going to say, Edward! I've heard it all before. What I'm trying to tell you is we have our own unique set of challenges, just like other people. We just have to figure out how to manage our very, VERY unique set of challenges."

"And how do you expect us to do that? I'm not going to risk hurting you again," he stated with aplomb.

"I'm so glad you asked," I responded, with a twinkle in my eye. "I have some ideas, and before you argue with me, I'll make you a bargain."

"Another one?" he sighed.

"If this doesn't work, I promise we won't try again until I'm changed. I think I can pretty much guarantee you won't hurt me this time. You won't be able to." I smirked as he turned, finally meeting my gaze. He tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes, clearly wondering what I was up to now. "Give me a few minutes to be... human," I snickered, using our code word for spending some time in the bathroom.

I twirled my finger at him, indicating I wanted him to turn his head. While he probably thought I was being modest, I didn't care if he saw me naked. I just didn't want him to look at the bruises again.

Once in the bathroom, I started the shower and began clawing through the vast selection of lingerie Alice had packed for me. There wasn't one thing there I would have purchased for myself, but I was glad to for a few of the pieces now. I stepped into the warm water, feeling it soothe my aching muscles.

The funny thing was, I didn't remember one split second of pain the night before. What I did remember was life-altering, mind-boggling, unadulterated pleasure. My body jolted at the memory of the first time my perfect husband entered me, taking me slowly at first, then building and building until our bodies crashed through some invisible veil of ecstasy. I was almost there again just thinking about it.

When my breathing returned to normal, I shut off the water and began to prepare myself for battle. No doubt this would be a struggle, and I had to win... for us. We could do this. We would figure out a way and that's all there was to it.

After I was dry, I slipped into a beautiful cream and lavender silk robe, hip length, but with long sleeves. I couldn't let him see the bruises or he would freeze right in the middle of my plan. I put on a pair of tiny pink panties, realizing they didn't go with the robe and that Alice was probably watching with utter horror. She would overlook the bruises, but wearing non-matching lingerie was virtually unforgivable. I put my hair up in a clip and gave myself the once-over in the mirror. Not great, but not bad, all things considered.

I was going to put on a show for my husband, which in itself was more likely to kill me than anything else. I would try to be sexy, aka not clumsy and not fidgety, and of foremost importance, not embarrassed. I knew I had to sell this, because if it worked, I wouldn't have to be a born-again virgin for the next several weeks, or possibly years as a born-again vampire. I let that thought flutter out of my mind as quickly as it entered. I was on a mission.

I opened the bathroom door and posed. He wasn't looking at me. This wasn't going well already. "Edward," I cooed, trying not to feel defeated before I even began. He turned and despite his desperate attempt to look disinterested, his eyes flashed. "Gotcha" I thought with a smile.

"Come over here and sit on the edge of the bed," I instructed, a little surprised at how semi-sexy I actually sounded. He complied. "Oh, this isn't going to do..." I tsked, slowly shaking my head. "Stand up," I told him. Again, he silently complied. I unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off of him. I tugged at his shorts, allowing them to hit the floor. He stepped out of them, rolling his eyes, still trying not to get involved in this little game I was playing.

"Not everything about you is stone all the time I see," I lightly teased. "Let's see if I can fix that." I gave him a little push and he sat down on the bed again.

"Bella, I don't see the point of..." he protested before I put my finger to his lips.

"Just do as I say and nobody gets hurt. I mean that quite literally." I chuckled to myself.

"Here are the rules. You're going to lay back and enjoy this. No talking. Moaning and growling are allowed, even encouraged, but only if you really feel it. Now, I know there aren't any restraints strong enough to hold you, except for one. You will keep your hands on the bed at all times. My words are the only thing that can bind and unbind you. Agreed?" He tilted his head side to side, weighing questions I could only imagine, and then reluctantly nodded. "If I place some part of my body in your hands, you can touch me, but only if I offer myself to you. Agreed?" Again he nodded, but with more enthusiasm.

I gently laid him back and secured his arms to the bed, telling both of them to "stay." I looked deeply into his eyes until I caught their fire and began planting light kisses on his forehead, then across his eyes, down his cheek, his nose, his chin, and lightly brushed his lips with mine. He lifted his head in a vain attempt to kiss me a little harder, but I pulled back and smiled. He seemed to understand that I was putting myself in charge here.

I started again, kissing his jaw line, nibbling at his ears, down to his neck, hoping not to miss a single spot. I sat back and admired his beauty for a long while before resuming with his shoulder and kissing down his arm. When I reached his hand, he caressed my cheek. I took each of his fingers into my mouth and sucked on them gently. He clearly wasn't expecting that, but he smiled broadly, encouraging me to continue. I licked and kissed my way back to his chest, occasionally making sure he was watching. He definitely was.

I skimmed my body across his, and soon I was working my way down his other arm. I kissed his palm and allowed him to stroke my hair. Slowly dragging his finger down my neck, his soft, cold touch sent a shiver down my spine. I locked eyes with him and we shared another sweet smile.

I decided it was time to step things up, so I quickly moved to straddle his stomach. Again attempting to be seductive, I pulled both ends of the robe's sash and let it fall open. He took in a deep breath, his eyes glowing and fully afire. I leaned down to kiss him, this time with more passion, more power, more need. He responded in kind. His arms flinched and I smiled as I realized he wanted so much to hold me. But that wasn't part of today's agenda.

I slid up a little and placed my neck at his mouth. He shuddered with pleasure as I allowed him to nuzzle and kiss me at will. I continued to slide my body over him, offering him various parts of my soft, sensitive flesh.

While he was clearly happy, even grateful for everything I gave him, and while he was always impeccably patient in every aspect of our lives, he now looked frustrated as he realized I was intentionally keeping something from him. Something he wanted badly.

He gazed hungrily at my breasts, now his only focus. "Bella, you're killing me here," he protested, momentarily looking into my eyes with desperation.

I sat straight up. "Excuse me, but did you speak?" I asked, sounding playfully astonished. "Did you forget my rules?" He rolled his eyes, looking slightly perturbed. "Gosh, sweetheart... now you have to pay. I'm so sorry! And you thought I was killing you before..." I said ever so sweetly as I formulated his punishment.

I slowly began rocking my hips, grinding myself against his stomach. I ran my hands over his chest and up my torso all in one motion, arching my back as I found the objects of his desire and fondled my own breasts, barely moaning at my own touch. "Is this what you wanted?" His eyes went wild, his breathing erratic as he watched me tease him without pity. My hands worked in circles all over my body and back to his. I bent down and took each of his nipples into my mouth, flicking my tongue at them as I rhythmically flexed my thigh muscles against his sides.

Sitting up again, still grinding, I slid my hands up my body to the messy knot perched on my head. I removed the clip and let my hair fall freely, shaking it out the way models do on those hair commercials, although I'm sure my technique wasn't nearly as good. My demographic was just this one consumer, however, and I knew he was more than ready to buy.

As I sat there, straddling my beloved husband, toying with him mercilessly, I felt a strength I'd never had occasion to feel before. At this moment, he and I were equals. Physically. For the first time, I felt like I had power; not power over him, but rather with him. I didn't need to be rescued; he didn't have to fret about my safety.

He was always so self-sacrificing, so willing to give me anything and everything... my slightest whim was his command. I suddenly realized this would be my gift to him; an opportunity feel weak and helpless. To need to be rescued, even in one small way. To be at MY mercy, rather than me always being at his.

His constant giving, his relentless concern for my complete happiness had allowed me, at times, to become a selfish, spoiled brat. And even though I knew he would dispute this, part of that was because I was never able to truly give him anything. All he wanted was my joy, so I was always on the receiving end of the bargain. And of course, there was the ever-present imbalance, the chasm between his absolute perfection and my absolute commonness. What could I give him that he didn't already have in abundance?

Plus, as if that wasn't enough, he loved me without fail. I felt like I failed him all the time. I'd even confessed to loving another man, kissing that other man intentionally, all the while vowing my heart to Edward. I had caused him immense pain, yet he still loved me, accepted me, forgave me as if it was nothing more than an insignificant transgression, all because he simply wanted me to be happy.

And now it was finally my turn. I could give him something he wanted, but refused to take. Something tangible and meaningful. In my attempt to get his mind off the bruises from last night, I had inadvertently put him in a position where he had to accept this gift from me. He couldn't reciprocate unless I allowed it. He had to let me give him pleasure. He could fully concentrate on the sensations I would cause in his body, not having to split his attention between that and trying not to damage me.

I knew he was wondering what in the world I might be thinking about in this moment. He'd never believe it if I told him. I smiled to myself, knowing now what I was going to do. I was going to give to him. The thought was utterly erotic, sending a thrill through my entire being.

I gave him a slight wink before crashing my body to his. It was all he could do to keep his arms on the bed. Our lips locked and my hands were flying over any exposed part of his skin I could reach. I grabbed two fistfuls of hair as I threw myself into kissing him. At first, he looked at little bewildered by my sudden explosion of passion. I think I caught a smile at one point, but I wasn't really paying attention to his expressions anymore. I heard his sighs and groans and shallow breaths, which told me everything I needed to know.

I was decisive now, wanting only to please him fully, and while my goal was to give to him, of course I knew this wasn't an entirely selfless act, to say the least.

Where I was withholding before, I now presented my breast to his eager lips. Like a starving man at a feast, he frantically nipped and licked and nuzzled, not knowing how much time I would give him before I pulled away again. I offered the other, causing him to growl as he worked his tongue furiously over my now rigid nipple.

I continued to alternate, satisfying his appetites. The sensation was nothing short of amazing. His initial frenzy settled into something closer to reverence. His lips were now gently nibbling, caressing, kissing. He sounded awestricken.

In all the time we'd been together, I never had the feeling that he craved my body the way I did his. I'd wondered if he was even interested, or if he was just using my safety as an excuse to avoid something he didn't want to do in the first place. I spent many hours tormenting myself with thoughts of rejection as he pushed me away time and time again.

But I had clearly been wrong. He really just had that much control over himself, which left me a little awestricken, too. I slid back down to match my lips to his. He sighed sweetly and kissed me delicately.

To his surprise, I slowly continued to slide down his body, kissing his neck, his chest, flicking his nipples with my tongue a few more times, which he seemed to enjoy quite a bit. I made a silent note-to-self. I was at his stomach when I looked up to make sure he was watching my every move, which, of course, he was. I smiled and went back to kissing him.

When I reached his hip bones, I took a few moments to admire his manhood, which was now quite interested in the goings on. I smiled and began kissing at its base. He breathed heavily as I slowly ran my tongue up his length and down. His eyes rolled back in his head.

I paused to watch his reaction. His expression was so euphoric, I actually blushed. As he regained his composure, he whispered, "Oh, Bella, you don't have to do this..."

"Edward," I mock scolded, "You're not supposed to be talking. But... is that what you really want? For me to stop?" My voice softened to a purr, "I want to give this to you, but if you really don't want my gift, just say one more word."

He started to open his mouth, but couldn't quite force himself to speak. There was a bit of a pause as he vacillated between protesting and accepting my offer. He closed his eyes and sighed. Giving to me was natural for him, but clearly he didn't know how to take from me. It confounded him, went against every fiber of his being. I wasn't about to let him off the hook, however. I was willing to wait for his response.

After what seemed like forever, I started to wonder if I'd pushed him too far. I was just about to say something when his eyes opened, fire in them as he very intentionally pursed his lips tightly together. I smiled.

"Thank you," I whispered. Then I thought of one last, very important detail. "I really should bind your feet to the floor." I tapped the inside of his ankles so he would move them apart a little to give me more room. I touched his feet and told them to stay. I realized he would still be able to crush me between his knees, so I tapped them and ordered them not to move.

And with that, I plunged him into my mouth.

Every muscle in his body tightened as he let out the most glorious moan.

At first, I moved slowly, my lips tightly around him. I pulled him in with suction alone, fluttering my tongue along his cold, hard shaft before slowly sliding up, releasing, and slightly lifting my head to start the next stroke anew. We occasionally made eye contact, me smiling and him looking like he might pass out if such a thing were possible.

I took him a little harder. He arched his back sometimes and other times, he let out a ferocious growl. Occasionally there was a whimper. I gained confidence with each thrust, learning as I experimented. His reactions caused me to feel like some sort of goddess. I hadn't expected this to be almost unbearably pleasurable for me, too.

I varied the speed and intensity of my motions, wanting this to last as long as humanly possible. (I was pretty sure he could last for days if he wanted to; I didn't have that kind of stamina. Yet.)

Knowing he could focus solely on what his body experienced was a powerful aphrodisiac for me. He began to very subtly rock his hips, and without even realizing it, I was moving to their rhythm. Soon my hands joined in the dance.

Our pace continued to quicken, as did our breathing, until I felt him tighten as if ready to explode. Abruptly, I pushed myself away and stood up. He let out something I could only describe as a howl. I felt almost guilty, but he was getting too close to the edge and I wasn't prepared to have him to go over it just yet. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted to go with him.

I began to slowly sway my hips, taunting my Edward as I gently ran my hands over my body again, caressing my breasts as I brushed past them. He was going wild with desire. I ran my hands through my hair, writhing in anticipation of our climax.

I once again worked my hands down my body, then slowly slid my panties off. Edward gasped, which is exactly what I wanted. I placed my knees to the outside of his hips and kept swaying like I was dancing to the only music in the room - the increasing beat of my heart. His stomach tightened in expectation. I lifted myself, finding his arousal with mine and carefully lowered my body to connect with his. He threw his head back into the bed and I heard the sheets rip as he grabbed them with both hands.

I started to move on him now, hands on his chest, then on my own. I leaned forward, laying on him, yet never breaking the rhythm my hips found with his. We kissed with such passion, I wasn't sure I'd felt anything like it from him before.

I moved faster, my own need now driving my body. I slammed myself into him with reckless abandon, over and over, his growls and moans feeding my frenzy. We kissed madly, giving me strength I didn't know I had, power coursing through my veins like the most potent of drugs.

If I had bruises after this, there would be nobody to blame but myself.

A low rumble began to form from the deepest part of his chest, the sound thoroughly igniting my own building fire. We both panted, both tightened, both emitted guttural, animalistic sounds as I finally went over the edge, wave upon wave of ecstasy crashing over me. He was only seconds behind. I heard more fabric ripping as his cold release filled me with each pump of my body until we were both spent in one way or another.

I relaxed into his chest, breathing heavily, heart pounding, slightly dizzy and most importantly, smiling.

I expected him to hold me, but he didn't move, aside from the quick rise and fall of his chest as he gasped for air. I looked at him questioningly. He smiled and shifted his eyes to his arms and lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, that's right!" I tapped his hands and said "You're released." I no more than got the words out of my mouth before he had me wrapped up in his arms. I'd missed that during our love-making... I couldn't lie. But it was SO worth it.

I remembered to touch his lips and giggled out "You may speak."

He let out a huge sigh and whispered, "Bella, I love you so much. That was... Unbelievable. You have no idea... How did you... I don't even know what... how to..." his voice trailed off as he gave up trying to complete a sentence.

I beamed. "And you didn't have to worry about hurting me," I added quietly.

He nodded as he pet my hair with one hand and stroked my cheek with the other. We laid there silently, caressing each other gently and tenderly. I'm not sure how much time passed, but I'm relatively sure I drifted in and out of sleep a few times.

My stomach betrayed my blissful state, growling loudly. Edward chuckled from beneath me. I knew he was going to go cook something for me, but I didn't want him to get up. "I don't suppose you would believe me if I said I wasn't hungry..."

"You suppose correctly, my love," he affirmed. "That rumble almost knocked the house down."

I rolled my eyes at him and smiled back at his glowing, angelic face. He was so adorable, so beautiful, so perfect... and as impossible as it seemed, so mine.