Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to JK Rowling.

AN: This could very well be my crackiest story to date. This fic can also fit into the genre of parody for some exaggerated instances.

Warning: mild slash

Harry was nursing his third pint of beer, absently tracing the rim of the tankard, while listening to Ron rambling about his work.

Although both Harry and Ron were Aurors, Ron was in a different department, and much to his constant disappointment, his team seldom saw any action. Apart from espionage, he was confined to his desk, and it seemed that today was a particularly dull day, hence the visit to their favourite pub.

Harry offered the required outrage and sympathy whenever Ron let him speak, and allowed Ron to vent out all his frustrations. It was a regular occurrence, and Harry was all too used to his complaints, and no matter how repetitive Ron could get, Harry couldn't begrudge him the opportunity for a good, explicit rant, having had his fair share of whinging sessions.

Harry cast a Tempus Charm when it seemed that Ron had finally run out of steam, and regretted doing so in the next moment.

"Say Harry, how come you don't wear one of those hand watches? Most people do these days."

Ron had become quite an aficionado of all things muggle, and it seemed that he had inherited his father's obsession, although it was a rather latent development, and his terminology left much to be desired.

Harry groaned inwardly when he was bombarded with countless memories, which was his brain's efficient way of answering the question, all of them racing around in his mind in an enticing but altogether inappropriate slideshow.

All of them had Harry and Draco wrestling to get rid of their clothes, the memories always ending off with Draco hurling his watch across the room in his bid to feel Harry's pulse point, which was apparently one of Draco's favourite body parts.

Really, there was only so much a Reparo could do, before his unfortunate watches were decreed irreparable. And being constantly thrown onto an unforgiving floor tended damage his watches to that level.

Worse, Harry could not even keep a schedule as to when it was safe to wear one, because predicting Draco's moods was near to impossible. The blonde would experience his need to strip off Harry in the most unsequential of times, and Harry being his lover had to comply with his demands, which inevitably always resulted in a broken watch. Harry was rather fond of his watches, but being confronted by a horny blonde bent on getting him naked tended to destroy his faculties and force him to concentrate on nothing but the need to feel more skin, so the plight of his watch was the last thing he could possibly be thinking about.

He couldn't even see what spurned Draco to become so horny, because if he did, he would have done it only when he wasn't wearing a watch. It was almost as if the snarky git wanted to keep Harry on his toes in his mission to force Harry to get rid of all his wristwatches.

Perhaps he did have a personal vendetta towards watches; Harry had stopped expecting a normal reaction from Draco when it came to muggle things after the toaster debacle.

He allowed himself another second to focus on his internal monologue and slideshow, while Ron waited in an uncharacteristically patient manner, and cleared his throat.

"You don't want to know mate."

Ron grimaced, knowing what that meant. "What in Merlin's name do you guys do? That seems to be your answer for almost every question. It's like everything is influenced by Malfoy and sex in some way."

Harry grinned. "You know, it should probably scare me that that fact doesn't bother me in the slightest."