PROLOGUE
"Clary, what the hell's gotten into you?!" Jace yelled as he followed a frustrated and almost
tearful Clary down the stairs of the institute. She'd come over this afternoon all lovey and
cheerful and then...well what did she expect him to say?! What did he expect her to say?
"Clary, enough!" He grabbed her arm not so tightly so he wouldn't hurt her and she struggled.
"Get the fuck off me!" It was almost a scream, a scream that would definitely reach Izzy and
Alec in the training room but that's not what struck him. What struck Jace right in the chest was
hearing her say that word...he'd never heard her say it...what she really that pissed cos he said
no?
Aware that Izzy and Alec were the kind of siblings to eavesdrop, Jace's grip on Clary's arm
became more firm as he dragged her across the hall and into the library. Through the small
journey she kept screaming and punching his arm, the kind of tantrum a child would throw, a
sort of tantrum Clary would throw. She kept yelling things like, let me go you dickhead! Or IZ!
HELP!
When he'd finally flung her into the library he quickly shut the doors behind him in a much
louder BANG than he'd intended.
He sighed in exhaustion then turned around and when he looked at Clary she got up on her feet
and then her eyes began to cross and she suddenly began to look as if she were about to throw
up as she slowly raised her hand to her mouth and took deep breathes. Suddenly concerned he
might have hurt her, Jace slowly walked up to Clary and held out a hand to touch her face.
"You okay?" It was kind and worrying even for Jace, but even so Clary looked up at him glaring
then slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me!" She growled. Throughout the whole year Jace has known her, he'd seen
Clary's as Simon would say 'Hulk form' in many different ways, but this...this was a completely
new form. Jace took in a deep breath and stared at Clary in a fed up and serious expression and he crossed his arms.
"Let me out..." it was more of a warning than a plea, he simply shook his head. She gritted her
teeth and her cheeks turned red, "Let me OUT Jace!"
"NOT until you explain to me what the hell happened up there!" It was the first time he ever
raised his voice at like that, it sure as hell didn't feel good but it was bound to happen sooner or
later and later was now.
Clary huffed then bit her tongue, "Fine! You want me to tell you what happened up there? " This
time her voice was quieter and slightly less threatening but the anger did not leave. Jace's
expression softened and he nodded at her and she scoffed.
"What happened Jace was..." her cold expression suddenly fell and so did her voice, "was that I
asked the man I love to marry me...and he said no..."
Jace sighed then raised a hand rubbing his head, "I know that part Clary..." he looked at her in
caring sympathy, "But why did you ask that...why now?"
Clary looked taken aback then she bit down on her lip and looked down.
"Clary?"
"Because I love you!" She almost yelled it but with sadness and passion and Jace could tell just
by the look in those green halo eyes of hers just how serious she was. Still she'd caught him off
guard and Jace was never taken off guard and if it was ever to happen then it would be by Clary. "I love you...so much..." Her voice was small and whimpering like a little girl and she looked at him so lovingly and sadly...and then...a tear began to form in one of her eyes and Jace's heart
began to ache.
"I I know...h how...soon this but...I just...I never thought I'd want something forever...then the
first time we met...the first time we kissed..."
Jace's lips parted slightly as he stayed looking at her sadly, he was rendered speechless.
Then a small yet still sad smile quirked the edges of Clary's lips, "The first time you said you
loved me "
"And I do!" He finally spoke out and Clary looked surprised from how sudden it was and her
head shot up as she stared at him with tearful eyes. Jace shook his head then quickly walked to her and his hands cupped her round soft face and he stood looking down at her with his body
pressed against hers. Chest against chest, he could feel her heartbeat, it was fast, or was that
his?
"After every god damn shit we've gone through...don't you ever doubt for one second of just how much I love you..." His words came in a whisper and he looked down into her eyes, gold in
green. Clary's eyebrows furrowed and she pressed her lips in a hard line and then the tears won the battle.
"I know...I know, I know." She mumbled and then sniffed, her nose now red and her eyes puffy,
"I just don't want to wake up one day and find out that you were just a dream "
"Shh." He couldn't take it anymore, her tears...his heart was literally breaking.
His raised her face up to his and his lips seeked out hers. At first it was soft and warm since he
didn't want to pressure her when she was in this kind of state. He stopped for a moment and
closed his eyes pressing his forehead against hers and he heard her let out a loud and shaking
breath as her hands instantly wrapped around the back of his neck and she pulled his lips back down to hers.
This time the kiss was fiery and wanting, he returned the passion by sticking his tongue in her
mouth as his hands traveled down from her face to her back then her waist and stopped when
they finally reached her ass and he gripped firmly. She let out a surprised gasp but let him carry
own as her fingers tangled in his his hair so tight his head stayed in played and he made a
groaning sound from the back of his throat.
After a while of the passion Jace drew away from Clary then looked her in the eyes and stroked a strand of an orange curl behind her ear. Her face was flushed, like it always was whenever they
kissed. His hand on her cheek and his thumb gently stroked her bottom lip which was still
warm.
"I love you." He whispered as more lovingly than he ever did before. Clary let out another
shaking breath then smiled sweetly and wrapped her arms around his back and laid her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her stroking the back of her head and laying his chin on top of it. He then let out a sigh and closed his eyes then whispered, "But I can't..."
It was all silent after that then he felt Clary's head slowly begin to rise and her arms fell. He
looked down at her and her expression was blank. She stepped back releasing herself from his
arms then she stayed staring at him stricken.
"...What?" It was so quiet that if it weren't for the echoing walls of the building he doubt he
would have heard her at all.
He licked over his lips tensely then sighed, "I can't marry you, Clary. ..not now..." There was pity
and sympathy in his voice and expression but even with that Clary looked as if she'd just been
stabbed with a kitchen knife behind her back. She looked down with her lips parted trying to gather the words in utter shock and Jace shook his head.
"Clare "
"WHAT ABOUT...everything we just said?!" The yelling was coming back and Clary was now
looking at him in confusion and pain, Jace was speechless.
"What about...everything I just said to you?"
Silence.
"Don't you ever think about us together?! Married a and with kids?!"
"All the time!" He defended with seriousness. How could she question something like that? What about everything he'd just said?
"That's all I ever think about, Clare." He said warmly holding her arms gently and surprisingly
she didn't pull away.
Jace smiled at her, "You and me in Idris, with our kids playing with their first steles but then
accidentally cutting themselves and you kissing their injured knee and putting a plaster on it..."
Clary was speechless and she blinked a couple of times trying to grasp everything he was
saying to her.
"It's all I dream about, Clary." And she could tell by the love in his voice and his eyes that he
truly meant it.
"But in a couple of years' time...it's just too early..."
Clary's face became determined and then she tried to speak out, "Jace I have to tell you
something "
"Look, let's just forget it okay?"
"But Jace you don't understand "
"Clary!" This time his voice was hard and serious, it was the same tone her mother gave her
when she refused to let her go out at night when she was only 13. Clary was taken aback.
"By the Angel, just drop it already!"
Her face became hard, "But Jace, I'm !"
"DO YOU REALLY WANNA RUIN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU'RE ONLY 16?!"
And there it was, the kind of tone he was hoping to avoid. He had no idea where that came
from...he used all his guts and stomach in it...and it sounded...like his father whenever he would
hit him...Oh God.
When he looked at Clary her lips were parted and her expression...made his heart sink.
He sighed and reached out for her, "Clary..."
Without glancing at him even once, she quickly avoided his touch then pushed past him and ran
out the library. Jace watched her then swore under his breath then quickly ran after her.
"Clary!" She was heading towards the door when he stopped her by yelling her name one last
time.
He was standing a couple of inches behind her watching her holding the door handle, even
though he couldn't see her face, her pain was clear as day.
Jace bit down on his lip, "Clary...what do you want me to say?"
Finally she turned around and her eyes were lost in fountains of tears and her face was cold and
sharp and she simply shook her head, "Nothing..."
Jace was confused then she finished.
"Because I don't want to say anything that could ruin the life of the man I love..."
Even though she was clearly angry, there was a certain kindness in her voice that was
unwillingly tortured.
Jace's lips parted and he was taken aback, then he whispered, "Clary..."
She gave him a sad smile then shook her head as she opened the door.
"CLARY!"
The doors shut behind her with a loud BANG!
Jace's eyes flew wide open as woke up on the couch of the library with Church sitting on his
stomach watching him. He tried to catch his breath, his golden hairs plastered to his head from
his sweat. When he'd finally caught track of breathing he sighed then grouchly sat up causing
Church to jump off him and run off to one of the shelves. When he was finally positioned he laid
his elbows on his knees and threw down his head rubbing his eyes and groaning in exhaustion.
13 years...13 years and he hasn't dreamt another thing since...
Since when were you supposed to dream memories? Especially the most painful ones.
After that fight Jace tried calling Clary but she'd changed her number, so when he went to see at
her apartment...she was gone. Her, Jocelyn and Luke were gone.
He looked everywhere in New York and Chicago and Seattle and even Miami but it was
pointless.
The moment Clary walked out of that door...she was gone forever. After 2 years Jace just had to
except that he'd lost her, and the worst part was because he didn't even know why.
But that was 13 years ago and a lot has changed since then. He changed. From being that wild,
reckless 17 year old teenage boy he once was and always thought he would be to this shut away
and daring man...if his teenage self could look at him right now...he wouldn't even recognise the
30 year old man standing in front of him.
Although some things stayed the same, like his hair, though it had grown a couple of inches
longer, now it reached his shoulders. And over time his jawline developed more of a manly
square shape which was accompanied by slight golden stubble. His body however has gained a
couple of more muscle here and there, his shoulders were definitely more broad and his arms
hardly fit in his old shirts. Seeing himself now...he looked like such a baby back then.
At least one thing was right, ever since he was 15 he always said he would become a lady killer
when he reached his 30s and hell he was was. The many times a woman or teenage girl would
hit on him whenever he'd go to the subway or take his nephews to the park or zoo. 'Still got it' he would always say to himself.
Teenage Jace was a cool guy...but man Jace is a motherfucking God.
He let out a sigh then leaned back on the couch and rubbed his head, groaning. He'd fallen
asleep on the couch reading Rhyns Redemption, a novel that Izzy had requested for him...funny
though how she didn't mention how much sex there was in it.
"Jace!"
He opened his eyes and shit his head up when he heard his sister yelling his name from the
kitchen. Shit, what time was it?
"JACE!"
"Yeah, I'm coming!" He yelled back then let out another exhausted groan. He sighed then got and flipped his golden fringe away from his eyes though it just brushed back into place. He placed
the book back on the couch then looked over at Church who was on Hodge's old desk and then
the cat yawned. A smirk quirked up the corner of Jace's mouth and he let out a little chuckle.
"It's a hard life, huh bud?"
Church simply purred and bgean licking his paw and Jace smiled shaking his head.
"JACE!"
"IM COMING WOMAN!"
Okay guys so there it is, sorry the prologue is so long but believe it or not it was gonna
be a whole lot longer. The first chapter will be uploaded tomorrow if I time but please
please review your thoughts my little angels, thanx!
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