Based off a fill for the LJ norsekink. Tony/Loki. Genderbending, Slash, Preganancy.

Chapter One:

The tall, gorgeous woman standing in the middle of the rubble of a blown up bank was not the villain Tony had been expecting to see when the Avengers had been informed that Loki was downtown creating trouble for some people at the bank. And really, the man could probably smooth talk his way into getting money, or magic up some and he chooses to blow a bank up? Can't he give Tony a day of peace?

But this tall, brunette woman was not Loki. Couldn't be. For one, she was a woman. Yeah she had the same dark hair and eyes, pretty much the same face, but there were breasts. Breasts and hips and...yeah breasts. She must have just borrowed Loki's clothes or something. His brain short circuited at the thought of some woman sleeping with Loki and borrowing his clothes. Yeah she seemed to be crazy to. She was practically steaming looking at Tony, Thor and Steve standing there.

Steve seemed just as perplexed with this situation as he was. And blushing as well, since Steve was never going to be able to talk to pretty women without being tongue tied in some way. He was gripping his shield in tensed, white hands and standing there as if Loki was going to jump out from behind the girl and set him on fire. He'd done that once, or tried too. Steve had only just evaded the ball of flames.

Thor on the other hand seemed to be shaking his head and was inexplicably putting down Mjolnir and seemed to be walking towards the woman. And yeah she was getting angry. Her hands went up as if she was about to blast at him with something and looking at him with the same green eyed glare that Loki always had. Fuck, maybe Loki had a twin. A crazy twin sister that Thor had never told them about. Two of them. Tony could feel the beginnings of a headache stirring.

"Again, little brother? You are a woman again. One that looks like yourself." Thor was mouthing words and yeah he seemed not to realize that he was talking to a woman. Not his brother. "Who was it this time? If it was that vile Doom character, tell me and I will crush his genitals into pulp." Tony blinked and looked at Thor. While he was all for a crushed Doom, that seemed a little harsh.

"Are you insane? You think I would sleep with that moron?" And okay, yeah the girl definitely had to be crazy because she was talking to Thor like she was Loki. Because she wasn't. There is no way that Tony could believe that this woman was Loki. Thor, still moving closer, suddenly came to a halt as his way was blocked by a wall of light.

"Stay over there. In fact, make yourself useful. Get that money for me," she ordered and yeah, most of the banks money was scattered around the rubble near their feet. Thor actually bent down and started to pick some up!

"Thor, what are you doing? We don't just hand money over to super villains," Steve tried to insist, but she turned her glare on to him and he shut up. Literally shut up. He looked like he was trying to speak but couldn't open his mouth.

"Here Loki, though I don't know why you insist on this. Mother would take care of you, you know this. She has always wanted more grandchildren."

Grandchildren? Mother? More? Loki has kids? There were crazy, magic wielding, children of Loki running around Asgard or Midgard or who the hell knows where? The pounding in his head was getting bigger. And ugh, he was actually starting to believe this craziness. This woman as Loki. A pregnant, female Loki.

"I am not going home! Do you not remember what your father did last time? I don't even know where Fenrir is. No, this child will be taken care of, by me! None more are going to be stolen. Do not inform mother."

Thor had a considerable amount of money in his hands, enough to buy a condo in Venice Beach and a summer home in Hawaii probably, which suddenly flew out of his hands into a leather satchel that Loki was holding.

Tony tried to speak past the lump in his throat. Steve was still standing there, getting more and more frustrated at his lack of voice, while Thor was pouting, trying to insist Odin would never take away his child and Loki was getting more and more hysterical, screaming about other children. Pregnancy hormones. The world was doomed.

"So who is the daddy then," was what came out of his throat. Fuck. He hadn't wanted to ask that, and now Loki was looking at him with glaring green eyes. Her lips slowly formed into a smirk as she looked at him and why did that make him feel like running away? Thor was also looking at her, the look on his face both protective and curious and what had that been about crushing genitals? Did he do that to all the fathers of Loki's kids?

Tony tensed up when Loki's black hair faded into a curly red and her face filled out rounder, green eyes kept but freckles added and crap...this was the face of a reporter he'd slept with a couple of months back. Her red lips were smirking at him evilly.

"I expect child support payments Tin Man. I understand that's custom in Midgard and I will not have my child living in some filth in this world because I do not have good credit." Tony felt himself go numb when Loki coyly waved goodbye and disappeared. Shit. What was that? He was lying.

Shit. Left alone with Thor. And Steve. Steve who was gaping at him and Thor was ...not happy. Fuck. Loki wasn't going to be getting any child support because Tony was going to be lucky to make it away from this rubble alive.

"I demand that you marry my brother." Thor's loud shout was accompanied by his pounding footsteps as he entered the kitchen where Tony had taken refuge. He stared at him out of one eye, the other being nursed by the ice Pepper had provided him. The man had lost his mind.

"Are you serious? Marry your brother? A few problems there buddy. He's male. And an alien. And evil. Not to mention, crazy. Seriously, have you lost your mind?" All things Tony probably shouldn't have said but he was nursing a couple of bruises and shots and didn't particularly give a damn what came out of his mouth right now, even to the hammer happy Norse god in front of him. The still very pissed off Norse god.

Thor was frowning at him, and Tony looked anxiously around for Mjölnir. Thankfully it seemed to have been left...well wherever Thor left it when he wasn't holding it. That thing hurt like a mother, even protected by a suit of iron. Tony felt like a giant walking bruise and still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Loki was pregnant.

"My brother's honor has been sullied enough. Father will not reject this child if my brother is lawfully married for once. The last three he had were bastards and unsuitable. And the eldest...well, my brother would never be able to marry a horse." Tony blinked, because seriously, a horse? "Therefore, being that I know son of Stark you are an honorable man, you will concede to my demands."

"Right and I suppose the little bride would be happy with this as well huh? Wouldn't wake up to a knife in the throat one day? Are you nuts?" Tony was practically yelling that last bit out. There was no way in hell he was going to marry Loki, child or no child. And really, Loki lies! Who was to say that child was even his?

"Do not be absurd, Loki would never kill his own husband." And that, was perhaps almost crazier then anything else Thor had said since this little revelation considering the number of times Loki had tried to kill his own brother. And had thrown Tony out a window several times.

"Step back there big guy, we don't even know if this kid is really mine," and shit, Tony was the one stepping back because even without the hammer Thor still had inches and pounds of muscle on him. And was twitching. "You just said yourself, not exactly the most monogamous! And he lies!" He had his hands up in the universal gesture for 'I surrender'.

"My brother would never lie about the father of his own children. Especially if it could gain him an advantage. He is aware you are a man of science, you would want...those tests you do. And never has he slept with multiple partners at one time and if he were not in trouble right now, I would smash you to a pulp." Tony was imagining mangled genitals and true, Thor was right, no way Tony would have supported any kid without extensive DNA testing. And Loki, being more versed in the ways of earth, would know this.

"Supporting the kid and marrying Loki are two things that shouldn't mix. I would probably screw up this kid more then Loki would! I'm pretty sure your brother doesn't care about his honor on Asgard right now. He seems to have everything handled."

Handled by blowing up banks to get money. Who knew where the hell the guy even lived. This kid was probably going to turn out to be some holy nightmare.

"So...Loki is a woman who you got pregnant? Am I hearing Thor correctly or am I just trapped in some weird hallucination?" Clint said coming into the kitchen soon after Thor had left. Tony groaned into the table where he was resting his head and flipped him off.

"Loki is a woman. And pregnant. And yes, the kid is mine. Don't talk, don't remind me. I'm trying to wake up from this," Tony said, glaring at the smirk on Clint's face. He had woken up Tony from a weird dream of the very male Loki in a wedding dress where Tony was being held at the altar by hammer point, in his own imagined Asgard which looked a little like Vegas but held a bunch of sword wielding gods. Pepper had been holding a baby, oddly the only normal looking thing in the picture, who resembled the female Loki they confronted early but was holding a bottle filled with scotch.

"Congrats. When's the wedding?" Clint's voice was mocking, pouring himself scotch. Only a joke, Tony thought, face turning pale. Clint would mock this to his dying day. Tony couldn't blame him, if on the opposite side of the glass, he'd do the same. He'd have rigged his own electronics to play wedding themes whenever Clint came into a room. Or set up a whole nursery in his room. Well had Pepper set up.

"Next week, you can be the minister," he snarked. He sat up abruptly as his alarm system started to sound, and Jarvis' voice echoed throughout the kitchen, "Sir, there is an unidentified female in the living room. She appeared out of nowhere. Shall I call the police?" Clint raised his eyebrows at the announcement and looked disappointed he didn't have his gun. Tony rolled his eyes.

"No Jarvis, it's fine. I'll ummm...go confront her." Tony thought seriously about walking out the back door and never coming back but the god could probably find him anywhere in the cosmos if he...she, really wanted to.

To Tony's surprise she wasn't making a mess of his living room. Nothing looked tampered with, nor destroyed. She was just sitting on his couch, legs crossed like an actual woman. Wearing Loki's clothes and had her new, longer hair tied behind her head. Female Loki looked completely like male Loki, except with the added addition of breasts. And a few softer features. Hidden under the armor, one might never be able to tell the difference. Probably what he had been aiming for.

Wishing for his suit as he nervously eyed all the large, glass windows, he gestured, "You can't just...change back? You're adept at it." His voice was going for menacing and accusing but ended up sounding more tired to his own ears. Loki rolled her eyes, lounging back against the pillows.

"No. My magic is protecting the baby. My male Asgardian form has no womb and as it's the one I am tied to and turn to naturally, it's preventing it. So only women it is. Would you prefer the pretty reporter? You really seemed to like her," Loki replied, voice coy and low, turning seductive. The same voice he'd used to buy Tony a drink at that event, intriguing the man by how forward she was being.

"No. I'd prefer you leave my living room and to forget about this entirely. Why are you here anyway?"

Loki smirked, "This place is quite large. Nicer then where I'm staying. I'm sure you don't want to be called to any more robbed banks. Got bigger things to deal with, villains with actual agendas at the moment. I'm here to make a deal."

Tony blinked horrified, "This deal isn't in any way going to be including the words, 'I do' is it? Cause if so, no is my answer right now."

Loki's face didn't even change, "Why would I want to marry you? I couldn't think of any punishment worse then being tied to a mortal for the rest of his pitiful life. No, my deal is a lot simpler. It has occurred to me that humans have a love for money. Raising children on Midgard is expensive and while I could continue to blow up banks and various other pranks, the child will be very impressionable the first few years. Rather not make a habit of it. You have a lot of money, this baby is half yours, and this house is practically surrounded by do-gooders who would line up to protect a child. It is in my best interests that I raise this baby here."

"How...how is that simpler," Tony asked. That pretty much sounded like marriage to him, only without the sex. And seriously, his house needed more people to invade it? He would have to child proof everything. And it might not even work.

"If I'm here, raising this child, you can keep an eye on it, I'm sure you'll love that. Thor will be happier, I'm sure the marriage thing was his idea, not the first time he's attempted to get me to marry a child's father. Seems to think Odin wouldn't be so pissed off about it. And for the next twenty years or so you won't have to deal with me messing things up for you. I'm sure that's infinitely simpler then "to have and to hold," or a typical Asgardian wedding. I'm not sure you could outrun everyone. So it works to both are advantages."

Outrun? Tony thought maybe he should start looking up Norse myths, everything lately had been going over his head. He didn't like feeling like the most uninformed person in the room. Loki had made herself at home on his couch, leaning back with a smug look on her face. Like she knew exactly what Tony was about to say and wasn't even worried. Not for the first time Tony wondered if she could read minds.

"So, why me? Out of all the people at that conference that night, you pick me to sleep with? What, to hold over your brother's head?" That had been bothering him all night, mostly cause the redhead had been the best hook up of his life and not just the sex. Beyond Pepper, there weren't many women he actually connected with.

"No," there was a smirk on her face, "It was just a bit of fun."