A/N : I feel home, really. It's been probably a year since I last wrote something related to CID. Last week a precious reader asked me to write a one-shot or anything such and so here I am. Topaz007, this one is for you. Hope you like it.
Hope my writing skills haven't gone below average. Do leave your valuable reviews/criticism.
xx
|::| Not Us Anymore |::|
She stood near the glass window and let the streamed sun ray kiss her. She closed her eyes and squeezed the coffee mug tightly with both her hands and leaned her side on the window frame. Taking a small sip she let out a sound between sigh and snort and shook her head. Where's life taking her? Where does she stand? Leaving her job for her daughter had been the best decision she had ever taken. She wanted to spend all her time seeing her daughter grow. She wanted to live all the moments of her daughter's growing up.
Being a forensic expert had been her dream since her late-teens. But being a mother, she's cherished every moment of it. The first time she took her daughter in her arms was the moment she felt the bliss of motherhood, or wait, perhaps the first time she learned that she was pregnant was the moment. Whatever it was, it meant the world to her.
It has been fifteen years since she and Abhijeet separated and had a divorce. Abhijeet meant the world to her. They were madly in love, or at least she was but then his duty came in between them. All the time. Not that she didn't know about his passion for his job or that their country needed him but somewhere he had forgotten that SHE needed him too. She felt, alone. Even when he was with her, it was his job, crimes, criminals, Daya, Pradyuman and his team was all he could talk about. It was never only them. She had this nagging feeling behind her head all the time that his team was distancing him from her. And when she told him that they were having a baby was the moment he broke her heart into pieces. He told her that he wasn't ready to have a child. He had responsibilities and having a child was not one of his priorities. His words had literally shaken her from within. She had never expected such a reply from him. He loved kids. That was one of the things she loved about him. He was good with kids naturally. Then, she couldn't understand what went wrong. But she knew she wanted this child. Her child if he didn't want it. So she decided to take the step. It took all her willpower to take and stay firm in her decision. Being separated from him. She thought it might change his mind but he took her decision pretty well, which was unexpected for her as well as everything else. She thought he might at least try to stop her. But then that was it. That special something that was in between them, which she thought was love was gone. Tarika was devastated but she had to gather herself for her child and now here she is. Working again. This time she chose to work in a book-store near her home. Because Tanu, her daughter was only fourteen years old (C'mon! She's a mother. Of course fourteen years old is a very young age.) and she didn't want to leave her daughter alone to go to work everyday. She joined this book-store when Tanu turned eight. The store was of an old friend of her, whom she met three years post her divorce to Abhijeet.
"Mum?" Tanu poked her head in the room. She was rubbing her eyes with a hand and the other hand was on the door frame.
"You're up! Morning honey, but isn't it quite early for you to get up?" Tarika raised an eye-brow.
"C'mon mum. I don't sleep that much, do I?" Tanu yawned.
"'Course not. You're early as a birdie!", Tarika mocked. "Come 'ere," she extended an arm and Tanu reached her mother wobbling a bit, still sleepy at 11 o'clock.
"You remember what today is?" Tanu asked.
"How can I ever forget?" Tarika smiled a little to cover the pain that float in her eyes. "It's your father's birthday. And you're gonna be with him for the rest of the month."
"Mum! Only for 5 days", Tanu exclaimed.
"I know I know!" Tarika raised the hand that was holding the coffee mug as if to surrender. "I'm not saying you shouldn't go. It's just, I'll miss you lots is what I meant."
"I'll miss you too mum", she hugged her mother tight.
.
Later that day at the bookstore.
Tarika was reading a book leaning against the shelf near the glass window that revealed the busy street to her. Hearing Tanu's laughter she looked up from the book and through the glass window she saw Tanu throwing her arms around her father's waist and her father holding her so protectively as if she was made out of glass. She let out a sigh and for a moment Abhijeet looked through the glass and his eyes met hers but she averted her face, not wanting to see him more than required. He had hurt her worse. Broke her into pieces. That girl, about whom he's so protective now was not his priority once. But here he was, collecting his daughter for the next 5 days for his birthday week celebration. Tanu had been planning about it for months. Tarika still remembered, five months after their separation when she was seven months pregnant with Tanu, Abhijeet came to meet her. He offered her to stay with him till her delivery because it was risky for her to handle everything on her own. She denied but he convinced her by saying that they could initiate the divorce after the baby was born. They lived in the same house but slept in different beds, hardly talked, didn't have lunch or dinner together. They were just under the same roof for her safety was it. And the day Tanu was born, the first time he held her in his arms, she remembered seeing a glimpse of regret in his eyes. And when they filed for divorce he appealed for Tanu's half custody which shocked Tarika nearly to death. "He's trying to steal my daughter from me!" she thought at that moment and firmly declined his request but seeing sincerity in his eyes the judge decided that till Tanu was thirteen years old Abhijeet could meet her in Tarika's presence and Tanu might choose to stay with her father for a few days every month after her thirteenth birthday. Both parties accepted the proposal and here they are now.
The string of Tarika's thoughts broke when Tanu flung her arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek sloppily. "Bye mum. Will miss you and don't worry I'll call you all the time to let you know that I'm okay, okay?"
"Take care of yourself and - " she paused for a moment and added "-and your father."
Tanu nodded and left, leaving a perplexed Tarika behind.
What was that? Why those few moments affected her so much? Was she still in love with him? Well, may be but after all these time. . . she had moved on. No matter what her heart wants the reality is different and that can't be changed. They can never become 'us' again.