"I kissed Johnny."

Maxie couldn't keep it a secret anymore. That she and Johnny had almost went there, and he was the one to stop it, not her, even after her feelings for Spinelli had finally become clear. That was three days ago, after the crazy biotoxin fire had burned down most of the hospital. She loved him so much that she ran into a burning building to save her beloved Spinelli. After she found him-only to also get locked in the utility closet-Jason & Sam had once again come to their rescue, just in the nick of time.

Since then, she had not let Spinelli out of her sight, nor she out of his. He was staying at her apartment, and the familiar rhythm of them intertwining their daily routines fell back into place, just as it had when Spin had his spleen removed.

There was something about having her so close that brought a peace over Spinelli. He couldn't describe it, but he definitely felt it. And when he heard those three words, his stomach dropped to the floor. He stopped the research he had been doing on the laptop, closed it, and looked her directly in the eye.

The disappointed look on Spinelli's face said everything she needed to know, and Maxie then wished she hadn't even opened her mouth at all. "I wrecked my car. He found me and took me to an abandoned garage during the worst part of the blizzard. We found some beer, started drinking….he'd been fighting with Lulu. It just happened. I just needed to tell you. It didn't mean anything" Maxie didn't bother telling Spinelli that the reason she kissed Johnny was so she could push Spinelli away now, instead of later when she'd truly be devastated. "That's a lie," Maxie thought, because she knew with every fiber of her being that if she lost Spinelli now, she'd be a wreck.

Spinelli was still quiet. "Why is she doing this?" he wondered. He knew all about her self-destructive ways, her trouble-making past, the poor girl with the borrowed heart who never felt like she lived up to people's expectations. But he saw beyond all that, and still loved her with everything he had. The past few days only proved that more, and he finally felt like he was getting somewhere. There was something in the air since he'd been staying with her. (at her insistence- she'd begged him to stay, said she couldn't sleep unless she knew he was safe. What was he supposed to do? She had him before the words even left her mouth.) There were a few moments that made him wonder if she had feelings for him, finally, after all this time.

He wasn't sure to be mad, or upset, or not care at all.

"Please say something Spinelli. Anything is better than the silent treatment." Maxie pleaded with him.

He got up and started pacing Maxie's bedroom. The funny thing was that he knew it didn't mean anything, but why had she even bothered to tell him? As far as she was concerned, they were best friends, nothing else, and the frequency with which Maxie repeated that mantra had almost started to make Spinelli believe it himself. He knew she was doing it to self destruct, but why? He wondered-could it be because of him?

Maxie burst into tears. She couldn't take him not saying one single word. Was he trying to torture her? She wondered if this is what Spinelli felt like. Maxie wondered if Spinelli was tortured by the words that Maxie didn't say. If he was, then she had no right to be upset. After all, his silence had only been for a few minutes. Her silent denial of her feelings had been for months, even after it was painfully obvious that Spinelli had fallen head over heels for his Maximista.

He turned away from her. Tears? Was she serious? It took all he had not to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a kiss. He didn't want her to cry, he just didn't know what to say yet. She usually didn't have a problem with him being the quiet one in their dysfunctional relationship. It was a nice reprieve from his time with Jason, when Spinelli was the one who couldn't shut up.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Maxie."

"Tell me you forgive me. Please Spinelli?" She knew she was fighting an uphill battle if he didn't even bother with calling her Maximista. She wondered if he knew why his forgiveness mattered so much. Why couldn't she just blurt out that she was in love with him? That the whole time she & Johnny were stuck in that garage, she couldn't stop talking about Spin? That she'd felt butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him since the first time they had sex, if not before?

"I'm sorry Maximista….this changes everything." Spinelli whispered quietly.

Maxie started sobbing, breaking down worse than she had after their terrible fight a few weeks ago.

"Maximis-Maxie. Please stop. You know I can't handle it when you cry." Spinelli felt terrible for the words coming out the way they did. He knelt down in front of her and wiped away her tears. "Maximista, please stop crying. I didn't mean it like that." He knew that he had to say what was on his mind, though, there would never be a better moment. He cupped her chin in his hand and made eye contact with her. Maxie got goosebumps as soon as he touched her.

"What I meant was, Maxie, why do you want me here? Is it just to have a warm body in the bed beside you? I know it's not the tech support. I know it's more than that. Why can't you just say it, Maxie? You know I love you. Why am I not good enough for you to love me back?" There. He'd finally said it. He was inches from her face now, and she couldn't get out of answering his question any longer.

"Spinelli…" Her voice cracked. He was right, what was stopping her from telling her how she felt? Was it because she felt cursed when it came to love? No. She knew it was different with Spin. His gaze intensified, as if his eyes were begging hers for an answer.

"Spinelli, I've loved you for a very long time." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "As crazy as it sounds, I kissed Johnny because I thought it would hurt less if I knocked myself off the pedestal you have me on, instead of you taking me off of it. I know it was stupid. You could have died in that fire at the hospital, and that night, I had nightmares about losing you…that is why I asked you to stay here. I just feel better when you're close to me. My love for you is so intense, Spin, but so is my fear of you leaving me. I'd rather just be your BFF than for you to leave me later on down the road. That's why I kissed Johnny. I'm so sorry Spinelli, I'm so sorry."

Spinelli leaned into kiss her, and he meant it with everything he had. She passionately kissed him back, and she knew there was no going back. No more "best friend Spinelli." This was the man she had been waiting for her whole life. He'd known Maxie was his soulmate for a long time. Maxie was glad to realize, finally, that he was hers.

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